Monday, March 16, 2009
AIG BAILOUT ZONE
You unlock the door with the key of moral hazard and unlimited greed.
Beyond it is another dimension...
A dimension of $1 CEOs and $500,000 bankers,
A dimension where management incompetence and investor stupidity are rewarded,
A dimension of dimwitted lards who don't get fired.
You are moving into a zone of opaque financial garbage called risk management tools,
A world of inflated synthetic assets and fruitless recovery.
You've just crossed over into the AIG Bailout Zone.
AIG'S RETENTION AGREEMENTS
There is a good summary of the events surrounding the AIG Retention Bonuses on Naked Capitalist's blog. Theoretically these (or the form) whould be filed as an Exhibit to AIG's filings with the SEC.
A retention bonus is different from a performance bonus which constitutes the contingent portion of an executives regular compensation package.
Retention Bonus Agreements are frequently issued in connection with corporate takeovers. They are a contractual tool for inducing employees "at will" not to leave in the event of a change of control.
An employee "at will" is an employee who is not otherwise contractually bound to stay. In short, a retention agreement says if you stay for a specified period and are not otherwise terminated for "good cause", you will be paid the following sum.
The amount payable under the bonus can be a cash lump sum or some other contingent amount. The point of the agreement is not to create rewards for good performance. It is designed to induce someone to stay. Whether these types of arrangements are subject to Employee Protection laws is a question for the experts. However, many of these employees are working in London where the laws protecting employees are generally more stringent than in the US.
Like everything else in corporate America, these tools can be and often are abused. The summary in the Naked Capitalism blog indicates that these AIG Retention Agreements smell as foul as everything else in AIG.
Ponder me this:
When TYPICAL BANK WALL STREET USA decides that it does not like the terms of the financing it promised to provide to good old Henry the drunken buyout king before the markets tanked what does it do?
It plays hard ball and says the draw down conditions are not satisfied even though they may well be.
Henry threatens litigation and maybe commences action.
What happens in the end, they compromise and settle.
Why is it everyone thinks Uncle Sam needs to keep leaning over?
Is it the same reason some genius decided that AIG should pay 100 percent on the dollar to its derivative counter parties?
Perhaps all the bondholders holding the paper of the American companies now bloated with junk leverage should insist that they all be paid in full in the name of the sanctity of contract?
Fencing over contracts is the American way.
If I were Timmy Geithner, I would do the following for starters:
1. Get a private sector law firm to immediately provide a third party assessment of the terms and liabilities associated with a breach of these pieces of paper. They should consider the possibility of punitive damages in the various jurisditions as well as claims for tortious interference with contract.
2. Write a letter to AIG ordering them to suspend all payments or risk the possibility of any further bailout injections by the US government. This gives AIG the ability to claim some sort of force majeure defense if and when it comes up in court. This would also set up some sort of defense against allegations of dealing in "bad faith".
3. Instruct the IRS to immediately monitor the US payees to ensure that all applicable taxes are being paid and (in the process determine if all prior taxes were paid).Ask the Inland Revenue Service in England to do the same.
4. Instruct AIG to wind down AIG Financial Products pronto. There are plenty of Wall Street derivative jocks who would be happy to unwind AIG's positions for a fraction of the pay. It is clear that the people working at AIG were the "worst and the dumbest" not the "best and the brightest" as they would have us believe.
5. Tell the three trustees holding Uncle Sam's AIG shares to wake up or take a hike.
6. Remind AIG CEO Liddy that he was put there by Uncle Sam.
7. Start thinking about Chapter 11 for AIG. The market now knows who has AIG exposure so the ominous contagion risk has dissipated.
A retention bonus is different from a performance bonus which constitutes the contingent portion of an executives regular compensation package.
Retention Bonus Agreements are frequently issued in connection with corporate takeovers. They are a contractual tool for inducing employees "at will" not to leave in the event of a change of control.
An employee "at will" is an employee who is not otherwise contractually bound to stay. In short, a retention agreement says if you stay for a specified period and are not otherwise terminated for "good cause", you will be paid the following sum.
The amount payable under the bonus can be a cash lump sum or some other contingent amount. The point of the agreement is not to create rewards for good performance. It is designed to induce someone to stay. Whether these types of arrangements are subject to Employee Protection laws is a question for the experts. However, many of these employees are working in London where the laws protecting employees are generally more stringent than in the US.
Like everything else in corporate America, these tools can be and often are abused. The summary in the Naked Capitalism blog indicates that these AIG Retention Agreements smell as foul as everything else in AIG.
Ponder me this:
When TYPICAL BANK WALL STREET USA decides that it does not like the terms of the financing it promised to provide to good old Henry the drunken buyout king before the markets tanked what does it do?
It plays hard ball and says the draw down conditions are not satisfied even though they may well be.
Henry threatens litigation and maybe commences action.
What happens in the end, they compromise and settle.
Why is it everyone thinks Uncle Sam needs to keep leaning over?
Is it the same reason some genius decided that AIG should pay 100 percent on the dollar to its derivative counter parties?
Perhaps all the bondholders holding the paper of the American companies now bloated with junk leverage should insist that they all be paid in full in the name of the sanctity of contract?
Fencing over contracts is the American way.
If I were Timmy Geithner, I would do the following for starters:
1. Get a private sector law firm to immediately provide a third party assessment of the terms and liabilities associated with a breach of these pieces of paper. They should consider the possibility of punitive damages in the various jurisditions as well as claims for tortious interference with contract.
2. Write a letter to AIG ordering them to suspend all payments or risk the possibility of any further bailout injections by the US government. This gives AIG the ability to claim some sort of force majeure defense if and when it comes up in court. This would also set up some sort of defense against allegations of dealing in "bad faith".
3. Instruct the IRS to immediately monitor the US payees to ensure that all applicable taxes are being paid and (in the process determine if all prior taxes were paid).Ask the Inland Revenue Service in England to do the same.
4. Instruct AIG to wind down AIG Financial Products pronto. There are plenty of Wall Street derivative jocks who would be happy to unwind AIG's positions for a fraction of the pay. It is clear that the people working at AIG were the "worst and the dumbest" not the "best and the brightest" as they would have us believe.
5. Tell the three trustees holding Uncle Sam's AIG shares to wake up or take a hike.
6. Remind AIG CEO Liddy that he was put there by Uncle Sam.
7. Start thinking about Chapter 11 for AIG. The market now knows who has AIG exposure so the ominous contagion risk has dissipated.
BAIL, BAIL, BAIL
BAIL, BAIL, BAIL (the Men of Goldman Sachs)
(Beer, Beer, Beer (Charlie Mochs) Irish drinking song)
WilliamBanzai7
Sing along Laddies and Lassies: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9G-Np1HB9M
1,2,3 Bail, Bail, Bail
A long time ago, way back in Wall Street bailout history,
When the best game in town was was schtupping AIG,
A long came a bank by the name of Goldmen Sachs,
And they invented a wonderful drink, and they made it out of subprime schlock.
Chorus:
Hey! they must have been bailout criminals, subprime sultans and/or PONZI kings,
And for them praise those busted bankers shall always sing;
Look at what they've done for us, they've filled Uncle Sam up with bailout beer,
Lord, bless those men of Goldman Sachs who invented...
Bailout Beer Beer Beer taxpayer Bail, Bail, Bail...
The Goldman pub, the Wall Street Inn, the AIG blackhole in the wall as well
One thing you can be sure of, it's Hank Paulsen's bailout beer they sell;
So all you busted bailed out bankers, at eleven o'clock you stop,
For five short seconds, remember the men of Goldman Sachs!
One... two... three... four... five...
Repeat Chorus
A busted hedge, a barrel of toxic asset slop, stir it around with a stick,
Just the type of lubrication to make your networth sink;
Another trillion dollars of TARP wallop will keep alive those bailout hacks,
It's only eighty cents halpenny a pint, but a trillion more in tax.
One... two... three... four... five...
Hey! they must have been bailout criminals, subprime sultans and/or PONZI kings,
And for them praise those busted bankers shall always sing;
Look at what they've done for us, they've filled Uncle Sam up with bailout beer,
Lord, bless those men of Goldman Sachs who invented...
Bailout Beer Beer Beer taxpayer Bail, Bail, Bail...
The men of Goldman Sox!
DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING?
DO YOU HEAR THE ANGRY BAILOUT RABBLE SING
(Les Miserables, Do You Hear the People Sing)
WilliamBanzai7
Sing along: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6-5g78Nr6Q
NOURIEL ROUBINI
Do you hear the angry bailout rabble sing?
Singing a song of angry of taxpaying men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not let AIG get bailed again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the anti bailout drums
There is a new economic life about to start
When tomorrow's opening bell comes!
LARRY SUMMERS
Will you join in our anti bailout crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the financial barricade of opacity
Is there a transparent world you long to see?
BARNEY FRANK:
Then join in the fight
That will give you the right to be debt free!
ALL
Do you hear the angry bailout rabble sing?
Singing a song of angry taxpaying men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be subprimed and PONZI schemed again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the anti bailout drums
There is a new economic life about to start
When tomorrow's opening bell comes!
BERNANKE
Will you invest all you can invest
As sure as our anti bailout banner may advance
Some bad banks will fail and some good will live
Will you stand up and take your chance?
The blood of the bear market
Will water the meadows of our own recovery and not Germany or France!
ALL
Do you hear the amgry rabble sing?
Singing a song of angry taxpaying men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not let AIG get bailed again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the anti bailout drums
There is a new life about to start
When tomorrow's opening bell comes!
OY BERNIE BOY
OY BERNIE BOY (HAPPY SAINT PADDY WAGON)
O Danny Boy
WilliamBanzai7 Blog
Oy Bernie boy, a Ponzi you've been a scheming
From Palm Beach up to Park Avenue
The good times are gone, and all your clients are steaming
'Tis you, 'tis you must to the big house go and we all must watch and smile
But come ye back after the judge has read the sentencing memo
And when the court room's hushed to hear how long you'll go
'Tis we'll be here lurking in the shadows
Oy Bernie boy, oy Bernie boy, we hate you so.
And if you come, when all the other dodgy Wall Street hedge funds are dying
And their NAVs are red as red well may be
You'll come and find the place where all asset managers are lying
And kneel and say an "Alpha" there for me.
And the markets shall hear, tho' soft you tread above
And all those Wall Street Ponzi schemes will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell the judge about foolish human greed
We'll simply sleep in peace until the next big Ponzi scheme is seen.
ITS ALRIGHT BEN (I'M ONLY BLEEDING)
ITS ALL RIGHT BEN (WE’RE ONLY BLEEDING)
(Its Alright Ma(I’m Only Bleeding), Bob Dylan)
WilliamBanzai7
DOW crashes down at the break of doom
Shadows all the silver spoons
The unhedged bets, asset backed balloons
Eclipses both the market sun and moon
To understand you know too soon
There is no sense in trying.
Ponzi schemes, are bluffed with scorn
Bearish remarks are torn
From the fool’s squawk box
The hollow horn plays wasted words
Proves to warn
That your 401ks not busy being born
Its busy dying.
Greenspan’s day flies out the door
You follow, find yourself a bailout whore
Watch waterfalls of public scorn
You feel to moan but unlike before
You discover
That you’d just be
One more Wall Street conman crying.
So don’t fear if you hear
A socialist sound to your ear
It’s alright, Ben, I’m only sighing.
As some warn of history, some of downfall
Economic reasons great or small
Can be seen in the eyes of those that call
To make all that should be tanked to crawl
While others say don’t wait for nothing at all
Except for handcuffs and indictments.
Disillusioned investors bark
As trader gods aim and miss their mark
Trading everything from derivative toys that spark
To toxic assets that glow in the dark
It’s easy to see without looking too far
How all is really one big farce.
While Bearish preachers preach of evil fate
Ivy league teachers teach that knowledge propagates and
Leads to billion-dollar plates
Moral hazard hides behind the pearly bailout gates
When even the President of the United States thinks
We can’t nationalize zombie banks because capitalism’s dying.
An’ though the rules of the road have all been dodged
Because the regulator’s games are a fools hodge podge
And it’s air tight, Ben, they shake and bake it.
Wall Street hucksters that con you
Into thinking you can be the one
That can retire before fifty one
That can win what’s never been won
Meantime life crashes down
All around you.
You lose your net worth, it disappears
You suddenly find you got nothing left but fear
Alone you stand with nobody near
When a trembling distant voice, unclear
Startles your weeping tears to hear
That the IRS thinks
They really found you.
A question on your trading screen is lit
Yet you know there is no answer fit to satisfy
Convince you better not to quit
To keep it in your mind and not forgit
That it is not he or she or them or it
That can forewarn you.
Although the masters of the universe gamed the rules
For the wise men and not the fools
We got nothing, Ben, to live up to.
For them that must work for taxpayers and shareholder dimwits
That they do not respect in any degree
Who despise their jobs, their bailed out banker destinies
Speak jealously of them that are TARP free
Cultivate their lives and dreams to be
Nothing more than another Ponzi scheme
to invest in.
While some on market principles baptized
To strict economic platform ties
Nobel laureates in drag disguise
Outsiders they freely criticize
Tell nothing except which formulas to idolize
And then pray for God to bless them.
The one who sings in the bailout choir
Should have his bail out pants lit on fire
Bent out of shape from the markets pliers
Cares not to come up any higher
But rather get you down in the same financial blackhole
That he’s in.
But I mean no harm nor put fault
On anyone that lives in an empty bank vault
But it’s alright, Ben, but we just can’t appease him.
Old neocon ladies watch in despair
Limited in sex, all they do is dare
To push necon morals, neocon insults and throw neocon chairs
While dirty money doesn’t talk, it swears
Obscenity, who really cares
Their hollow neocon propaganda, all is phony.
While them that pretend that they cannot see
That there’s no such thing as a riskless security
It blows their minds almost instantaneously
To think Wall Street operates dishonestly
Will fall upon them disastrously
Life in jail sometimes
Must get lonely.
My eyes collide head-on with quantitative geeks
False models, I scuff
At snake oil con men who just talk guff
Walk upside-down inside handcuffs
Kick my legs to crash it off
Say okay, I have had enough
Whatever else please don’t show me!
And if his financial-dreams could be seen
They’d probably put that banker’s head in a guillotine
But it’s alright, Ben, it’s life, and life only.
AIG BAILOUT MONEY LAUNDERING OPERATION
Its OK for Uncle Sam to funnel taxpayer money to offshore banks using AIG as a giant bailout money laundering conduit.
Its not OK for taxpayers to funnel their money to those same offshore banks.
Either way, the money ultimately gets invested with Bernard Madoff Securities.
Its not OK for taxpayers to funnel their money to those same offshore banks.
Either way, the money ultimately gets invested with Bernard Madoff Securities.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
AIG--THEY'VE SCAMMED EVERYWHERE
"I've Scammed Everywhere"
(I've Been Everywhere, Johnny Cash, Hank Snow)
WilliamBanzai7 Blog
I was totin' my luggage along the airport security line,
When along came a pinstriped dude with a high Louis V load.
"If you're goin' to Mayfair London, Jack with me and AIG you can ride."
And so I climbed into the jet and then I settled down inside.
He asked me if I'd seen a jet with so much financial contraband to hide.
And he said, "Listen, I've traveled n done every scam in this here bailout land!"
[Chorus:]
I've bailed everywhere, man.
I've scammed everywhere, man.
Stripped my shareholders bare, man.
I've schtupped the taxpayers yeah, man.
Oooooh derivatives I've done my share, man.
I've scammed everywhere.
I've
I've scammed in:
Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota,
Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota,
Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma,
Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, La Paloma,
Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo,
Tocapillo, Baranquilla, and Perdilla, I'm a killer.
[Chorus]
I've been bailed with:
Goldman Sachs, Credit Suisse, RBS, Merrill Lynch,
BAC, JP Morgan, HSBC, CITI, RFC, Danske Bank, Bank of M, SocGen
Dresdner, Deutsche Zentral Genossenchafts, Paloma,
Wachovia, Paribas, see what I mean-a
[Chorus]
I've scammed with
Calyon, Credit Agricole, Dresdner Kleinwort, DZ Bank,
KFW, Banco Santander, Landesbank Baden Wuertemmburg,
ING, Barclays, S&C, Citadel, Deutsche Bank, Rabo Bank yeah I've robbed a Bank
[Chorus]
I've scammed:
Pittsburgh, Parkersburg, Gravelbourg, Colorado,
Ellisburg, Rexburg, Vicksburg, Eldorado,
Larimore, Admore, Haverstraw, Chatanika,
Chaska, Nebraska, Alaska, Opelika,
Baraboo, Waterloo, Kalamazoo, Kansas City,
Sioux City, Cedar City, Dodge City, what a pity.
[Chorus]
WHO KILLED THE ECONOMY?
WHO KILLED THE ECONOMY
(Who Killed Davey Moore, Bob Dylan)
WilliamBanzai7 Blog
Who killed the Economy,
Why an' what's the reason for?
"Not I," says Greenspan and Bernanke,
"Don't point your finger at me.
We could've stopped it before it was too late
An' maybe kept the markets from this fate,
But the crowd would've booed, I'm sure,
At not gettin' their bubble's worth.
It's too bad it had to pop,
But there was a pressure on we two, you know.
It wasn't we that made the economy fall.
No, you can't blame we at all."
Who killed the Economy,
Why an' what's the reason for?
"Not us," says the short selling bear market crowd,
Whose screams deflated the subprime cloud.
"It's too bad the economy tanked that September night
That Lehman was left to its sorry plight.
We didn't mean for Fuld's bank to meet its death,
We just meant to see some sweat,
There ain't nothing wrong in that.
It wasn't us that made Lehman fall.
No, you can't blame us at all."
Who killed the Economy,
Why an' what's the reason for?
"Not me," says the Politician,
Puffing on a big cigar.
"It's hard to say, it's hard to tell,
I always thought Wall Street was a bottomless well.
It's too bad for our wives an' kids the Bull is dead,
But if he was sick, someone else should have said.
It wasn't we that made him fall.
No, you can't blame me at all."
Who killed the Economy,
Why an' what's the reason for?
"Not me," says the gambling man,
With his 401k Statement still in his hand.
"It wasn't me that knocked the Bull market down,
My hands never touched it none.
I didn't commit no ugly sin,
Anyway, I put all my money on it to win win win.
It wasn't me that made it fall.
No, you can't blame me at all."
Who killed the Economy,
Why an' what's the reason for?
Not us said the clowns over at AIG
We sell insurance to those in need
Our risk models run infallibly
It was a financial tsunami worse than any natural calamity
How big is our hole we just can't see
We're too big to fail
So bail us out Uncle Sam if you please]
Who killed the Economy,
Why an' what's the reason for?
"Not me," says the feckless financial news writer,
Pounding print on his digital typewriter,
Sayin', "CNBC ain't to blame,
There's just as much danger in the finance game."
Sayin', "Wall Street greed is here to stay,
It's just the old American way.
It wasn't me that made it fall.
No, you can't blame me at all."
Who killed the Economy,
Why an' what's the reason for?
"Not me," said the Wall Street conman whose securitized risks
Laid the markets low in an opaque cloud of toxic mist,
Who came here from some Ivy League door
Even though Ponzi scheming ain't allowed no more.
"We scammed and we scammed them, yes, it's true,
But that's what we are paid the big bucks to do.
Don't say 'fraud,' don't say 'steal.'
It was destiny, it was God's will."
Who killed the Economy,
Why an' what's the reason for?
SHAOLIN CASTRATION TECHNIQUE
Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao demonstrates ancient shaolin castration techniques.
Jiabao noted that China is now the largest foreign creditor to the United States and as such wants to make sure that U.S. policies dealing with the financial crisis do not damage the value of Chinese holdings.
EDWARD LIDDY: DAZED AND CONFUSED
"How can I go forward when I don't know which way I am facing."
John Lennon
Meet Edward Liddy the CEO of AIG (American Liquidation Group). Mr Liddy was appointed CEO of AIG when Hank Paulsen and company initially bailed out Goldman Sachs, directly and indirectly, by injecting US taxpayer money into AIG. Mr Liddy's first assignment was to commence an AIG financial services garage sale, the proceeds to be used to pay back Uncle Sam. At the time this was characterized as a no brainer. Yes, apparently so, except...the CEO is missing the brains. Six months later the garage sale is in mothballs.
Mr Liddy is having a heck of a time seeing the forest from the trees. Probably because he is confused about who he works for. Is it AIG's shareholders, bondholders, counterparties, Goldman Sachs, AIG's employees? If he was a bankruptcy trustee for AIG there would be no confusion. But as we all know, AIG is not a Chapter 11 debtor in possession. It is a rudderless bailout zombie aircraft carrier loaded down with derivative sputniks and Mr Liddy is the drunken bailout swabby at the helm.
He has no idea where he is piloting his vessel. He is to busy putting out all the fires stoked by his predecessors Willumstead, Sullivan and Greenberg. He has been quoted as saying AIG is full of rocks. Turn one over and you either find a scorpion or another rock.
Meanwhile Mr Liddy continues to think all of AIG's "best and brightest" employees should remain perpetually employed with handsome bonus arrangements to which AIG says it is contractually bound. His ship is infested with Somali bailout pirates.
Yes Mr Liddy is confused alright. He has no idea who he really works for, certainly not the US Government. Why would anyone think that?
Time to show Mr Liddy to the bailout exit door. 1, 2.....
Remember---Shaolin castration techniques.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
TARP BAILOUT TUSH
TAKE THE AIG TRAIN DOWNTOWN (aka BAILOUT TUSH)
(ZZ Top, Tush)
WilliamBanzai7
We been up, but now we're way way down.
Take our word, this time around.
We just askin' for a free bailout lunch.
We said, Lord, take the AIG train downtown,
We just lookin' for some TARP bailout tush.
We been bad, longer than good,
Balance sheets, full of subprime deadwood.
We just askin' for a free bailout lunch.
We said, Lord, take the AIG train downtown,
We just lookin' for some TARP bailout tush.
Take us back way back home,
Not by ourselves, you know we're not alone.
We just askin' for a free bailout lunch.
We said, Lord, take the AIG train downtown,
We just lookin' for some TARP bailout tush.
FED BAILOUT WHORE AIG
FED BAILOUT WHORE AIG
(FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS, QUEEN)
WilliamBanzai7
Are you gonna get bailed again tonight
Or will Uncle Sam finally put up a fight
Are you gonna let your losses all hang out
Fed Bailout Whore AIG
You spin the capitalist world upside down
Hey I had just a skinny NAV
Never knew Wall Street good from Wall Street bad
But I knew life before I left my trader nursery
Left alone with AIG's fat bailout fanny
Lord such a mega scammy
Heap big bailout zombie you made market losers out of we
Hey hey!
Ive been seeing TARP bailout scams
Across the Bloomberg wire across the land
I seen every sorry financial service floozy on the way
But their wily bailout guile
Went kind of smooth for quite a while
That low down bailout whore AIG will con you every time
Are you gonna get bailed again tonight?
Or will Uncle Sam finally put up a fight
Oh will you take em for all they got
FED bailout whore AIG
You spin the capitalist world upside down
Hey listen here
Now you bloated bailout bonus pig
Doin the Paulsen bailout bonus jig
Sure aint no AAA beauty queen in this locality (I tell you)
Oh but we still get some pleasure
Watching Geithner fish for subprime treasure
Heap bailout whore you make a circus clown of Bernanke
Now get this
Are you gonna get bailed tonight?
Or will Uncle Sam finally put up a fight
Oh will you take em for all they got
FED bailout whore AIG
Will you ever get out of town?
Get on your bankruptcy bike and ride....
Investment Bandito Joke
The investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman
docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The investment banker complimented the fisherman on the quality of his
fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The fisherman replied, only a little while.
The investment banker then asked why didn't he stay out longer
and catch more fish?
The fisherman said he had enough to support his family's
immediate needs.
The investment banker then asked, but what do you do with the
rest of your time?
The fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with
my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village
each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a
full and busy life, senor."
The investment banker scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could
help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger
boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats,
eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your
catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually
opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing
and distribution. You can leave this small coastal fishing
village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding
enterprise."
The fisherman asked, "But senor, how long will this all
take?"
To which the American replied, "15-20 years."
But what then, senor?
The American laughed and said that's the best part. When
the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the
public and become very rich, you would make millions.
Millions, senor? Then what?
The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small
coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play
with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the
evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your
amigos."
Source: Wall Street Oasis.com
docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The investment banker complimented the fisherman on the quality of his
fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The fisherman replied, only a little while.
The investment banker then asked why didn't he stay out longer
and catch more fish?
The fisherman said he had enough to support his family's
immediate needs.
The investment banker then asked, but what do you do with the
rest of your time?
The fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with
my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village
each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a
full and busy life, senor."
The investment banker scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could
help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger
boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats,
eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your
catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually
opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing
and distribution. You can leave this small coastal fishing
village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding
enterprise."
The fisherman asked, "But senor, how long will this all
take?"
To which the American replied, "15-20 years."
But what then, senor?
The American laughed and said that's the best part. When
the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the
public and become very rich, you would make millions.
Millions, senor? Then what?
The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small
coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play
with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the
evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your
amigos."
Source: Wall Street Oasis.com
Investment Bank Balance Sheets
The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the left side nothing is right and on the right side nothing is left.
Friday, March 13, 2009
WASHINGTON POST STICKS READERS HEADS IN THE SAND
Here is the news item:
NEW YORK (Reuters) - The Washington Post will stop publishing a business section six days out of the week and move business news to the front section of the paper at a time when finance stories dominate world headlines.
The decision, which the Post's editors explained in a memo obtained by Reuters, means that the paper will save money on newsprint when newspaper advertising revenue is plunging.
The cost-cutting would allow the paper to keep providing readers with what they say they want, according to the memo signed by Executive Editor Marcus Brauchli and other editors.
Here is what WilliamBanzai7 thinks: The Washington Post is the newspaper of choice in our nation's capital. I know that politicians don't read newspapers, but...one would think that with all the game changing financial and business issues flying around and the economy being the basket case that it is, the business section would get more attention in our National seat of government. Apparently, not.
NEW YORK (Reuters) - The Washington Post will stop publishing a business section six days out of the week and move business news to the front section of the paper at a time when finance stories dominate world headlines.
The decision, which the Post's editors explained in a memo obtained by Reuters, means that the paper will save money on newsprint when newspaper advertising revenue is plunging.
The cost-cutting would allow the paper to keep providing readers with what they say they want, according to the memo signed by Executive Editor Marcus Brauchli and other editors.
Here is what WilliamBanzai7 thinks: The Washington Post is the newspaper of choice in our nation's capital. I know that politicians don't read newspapers, but...one would think that with all the game changing financial and business issues flying around and the economy being the basket case that it is, the business section would get more attention in our National seat of government. Apparently, not.
MADOFF EXPLAINS WALL STREET
Listen to his schtick. "Its impossible for a violation to go undetected."
AMERICA YOU ONE BIG PONZI SCHEME
Wen Jiabao displays the finger he intends to stick up Uncle Sam's deficit dyke.
BEIJING — The Chinese prime minister, Wen Jiabao, expressed unusually blunt concern on Friday about the safety of China’s $1 trillion investment in American government debt, the world’s largest such holding, and urged the Obama administration to provide assurances that the securities would maintain their value in the face of a global financial crisis.
He's got the tickies and we've got the dirty laundry.
Uncle Sam get ready for...the International Chinese Down Hill!
CNBC GUNFIGHT ON COMEDY CHANNEL
CNBC Gunfight On Comedy Channel
(Gunfight at the Ok Coral, Frankie Lane)
WilliamBanzai7
Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO0qV7aCE10
Comedy Channel, Comedy Channel
there Cramer and the CNBC band made their final stand
Comedy Channel
Oh poor Jim Cramer got poked in both eyes
Lay down you CNBC bums we'll take a chance on losing you forever
Journalistic duty never called
Now Stewart's got your backs against the wall
have you no intelligent words to say
before the Nielson ratings ride away
away
You love you love
Wall Street's ponziesque schemes
you love
Keep the sexy anchor dames, let the rest burn
until the asset bubbles return
for the gunfight on the Comedy Channel
if the lord of satiric comedy is my friend
They'll meet once again
Of the gunfight at Comedy Channel
Comedy Channel
Boot hill Boot hill
so cold so still
There they lay side by side
the CNBC shlock jocks that died
in the gunfight on Comedy Channel
Comedy Channel
(Gunfight at the Ok Coral, Frankie Lane)
WilliamBanzai7
Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO0qV7aCE10
Comedy Channel, Comedy Channel
there Cramer and the CNBC band made their final stand
Comedy Channel
Oh poor Jim Cramer got poked in both eyes
Lay down you CNBC bums we'll take a chance on losing you forever
Journalistic duty never called
Now Stewart's got your backs against the wall
have you no intelligent words to say
before the Nielson ratings ride away
away
You love you love
Wall Street's ponziesque schemes
you love
Keep the sexy anchor dames, let the rest burn
until the asset bubbles return
for the gunfight on the Comedy Channel
if the lord of satiric comedy is my friend
They'll meet once again
Of the gunfight at Comedy Channel
Comedy Channel
Boot hill Boot hill
so cold so still
There they lay side by side
the CNBC shlock jocks that died
in the gunfight on Comedy Channel
Comedy Channel
MERRILL'S TOM CARVEL DEFENSE
In today's NYT Dealbook:
Just how much of a secret are Merrill Lynch’s bonus numbers? As secret as, say, the recipe for Carvel’s ice cream?
That was the comparison that Bank of America’s lawyers made Friday morning in a New York courtroom, as they tried to persuade a judge to let them keep information about the investment bank’s top-earning employees private.
The lawyers compared the legal battle over the pay data — which Andrew M. Cuomo, the attorney general of New York, is seeking as part of an investigation — to a lawsuit involving the secret formula for Carvel’s famous desserts, according to an audio feed of the testimony from the Courtroom View Network.
But lawyers for Mr. Cuomo’s office weren’t buying the ice-cream argument.
You be the judge. I think Tom Carvels recipes show more depth than Merrill's lawyers.
Here's some securitized subprime cakes that only Merrill bakes
Their made fresh so we can screw you every trading day
Cause that's the Merrill way
And while your at the store
See Bailout Gus and more
And don't forget about
Mug Me the Bear Market Bear
Just how much of a secret are Merrill Lynch’s bonus numbers? As secret as, say, the recipe for Carvel’s ice cream?
That was the comparison that Bank of America’s lawyers made Friday morning in a New York courtroom, as they tried to persuade a judge to let them keep information about the investment bank’s top-earning employees private.
The lawyers compared the legal battle over the pay data — which Andrew M. Cuomo, the attorney general of New York, is seeking as part of an investigation — to a lawsuit involving the secret formula for Carvel’s famous desserts, according to an audio feed of the testimony from the Courtroom View Network.
But lawyers for Mr. Cuomo’s office weren’t buying the ice-cream argument.
You be the judge. I think Tom Carvels recipes show more depth than Merrill's lawyers.
Here's some securitized subprime cakes that only Merrill bakes
Their made fresh so we can screw you every trading day
Cause that's the Merrill way
And while your at the store
See Bailout Gus and more
And don't forget about
Mug Me the Bear Market Bear
Buy Low Sell Die!
http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/index.jhtml?episodeId=220533
Jon Stewart:
"CNBC could be an incredibly powerful tool of illumination for people that believe that there are two markets. One, that has been sold to us as long-term. … Then there’s this other market, this real market that’s occurring in the backroom where giant piles of money are going in and out and people are trading them, and it’s transactional and it’s fast. But it’s dangerous and ethically dubious and it hurts that long-term market. So what it feels like to us, and I’m speaking purely as a layman…it feels like we are capitalizing your adventure by our pension, and that it is a game that you know, that you know is going on, but that you go on television as a financial network and pretend it isn’t happening."
Jon Stewart:
"CNBC could be an incredibly powerful tool of illumination for people that believe that there are two markets. One, that has been sold to us as long-term. … Then there’s this other market, this real market that’s occurring in the backroom where giant piles of money are going in and out and people are trading them, and it’s transactional and it’s fast. But it’s dangerous and ethically dubious and it hurts that long-term market. So what it feels like to us, and I’m speaking purely as a layman…it feels like we are capitalizing your adventure by our pension, and that it is a game that you know, that you know is going on, but that you go on television as a financial network and pretend it isn’t happening."
Thursday, March 12, 2009
MADOFF MADOFF ON THE WALL
MADOFF MIRROR ON THE WALL…
Who’s the next biggest culprit of them all?
Not we, said the Madoff family.
Not we, said the Chairmen of the Fed that fostered the public fixation on bubbly returns and pumped the economy full of the exuberance of cheap leverage.
Not we, said the Chairmen of the SEC, who turned a blind eye to Wall Street excess and a deaf ear to a lone whistle blower.
Not I, said Uncle Sam, the one who collected inflated taxes from duped investors but let the regulatory system wither into a shriveled rag.
Not we, said the Congressman who wrote laws emasculating the finest regulatory system in the world.
Not we. said the NASDAQ shareholders who gave Madoff street cred by electing him Chairman of the Board.
Not we, said the bankers and fund of fund managers who blindly sent their client’s monies to a common thief without any effort resembling prudent due diligence.
Not we, said the accountants yet again.
Not we, said the financial media that spent more time pumping the bubbles than investigating the markets.
Not we, said the country clubbers and wealthy idiots who told all their cronies that being a Madoff investor was the most exclusive club of all.
Not we, said the charitable fiduciaries that allowed their precious endowments to be managed by a scoundrel.
Not we, said the pseudo-sophisticated investors who allowed themselves to be duped into thinking that monthly and annual absolute returns are the norm and not the exception, let alone a fantasy.
Who’s the next biggest culprit of them all?
Not we, said the Madoff family.
Not we, said the Chairmen of the Fed that fostered the public fixation on bubbly returns and pumped the economy full of the exuberance of cheap leverage.
Not we, said the Chairmen of the SEC, who turned a blind eye to Wall Street excess and a deaf ear to a lone whistle blower.
Not I, said Uncle Sam, the one who collected inflated taxes from duped investors but let the regulatory system wither into a shriveled rag.
Not we, said the Congressman who wrote laws emasculating the finest regulatory system in the world.
Not we. said the NASDAQ shareholders who gave Madoff street cred by electing him Chairman of the Board.
Not we, said the bankers and fund of fund managers who blindly sent their client’s monies to a common thief without any effort resembling prudent due diligence.
Not we, said the accountants yet again.
Not we, said the financial media that spent more time pumping the bubbles than investigating the markets.
Not we, said the country clubbers and wealthy idiots who told all their cronies that being a Madoff investor was the most exclusive club of all.
Not we, said the charitable fiduciaries that allowed their precious endowments to be managed by a scoundrel.
Not we, said the pseudo-sophisticated investors who allowed themselves to be duped into thinking that monthly and annual absolute returns are the norm and not the exception, let alone a fantasy.
FRAUDSTER ON THE ROOF
BERNIE MADOFF SINGS "IF I HAD A PONZI "
(If I Were a Rich Man, Fiddler on the Roof)
WilliamBanzai7 (Fraudster on the Roof)
If I had a Ponzi,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd be sitting in the Palm Beach sun.
If I had a good Ponzi scam.
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy Ponzi,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
I'd buy a big gawdy mansion with rooms by the dozen,
Right in the middle of Palm Beach town.
And a fine Park Avenue Penthouse with a fleet of Mercede's and others down below.
There would be one long staircase just going up,
And one even longer coming down,
And one more leading nowhere, just for show.
I'd fill my office with investor ducks and turkeys and geese to fleece
For all of Wall Street to see and hear.
Squawking just as noisily as they can.
Each loud "cheep" "squawk" "honk" "quack"
Would sound like a golden trumpet on my Ponzi scheming ears,
As if to say "Here is yet another wealthy yutz to schtupp."
If I had a PONZI,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I had a good PONZI scam.
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy Ponzi,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
I see my wife, my Ruth, looking like a rich momzer's wife
With a proper Bergdorf grin.
Supervising meals to her heart's delight.
I see her putting on airs and strutting like a Park Avenue trophy tuchas.
Oy, what a happy mood she's in.
Screaming at the servants, day and night.
The most important machers in Wall Street town would come to fawn on me!
They would ask me to advise them,
Like a Solomon the Wiseguy.
"If you please, Bernie..."
"Pardon me, Bernie..."
Posing megillahs that would cross an SEC Branch Chief's eyes!
And it won't make one bit of difference if i answer right or wrong.
When you're a Wall Street gonif, they think you really know!
If I were rich, I'd have the time that I lack
To hook then slice golf balls and pray.
And maybe have a seat on NASDAQ.
And I'd discuss the holy finance books like a big Wall Street macher, several hours every day.
That would be the sweetest thing of all.
If I had a PONZI,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I had a good PONZI scam .
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
Lord who made the Wall Street lions and the rich shnooks and lambs,
You decreed I should be what I am.
Would it spoil some vast eternal plan?
If I built the Mother of all Ponzi scams.
BERNIE MADOFF SINGS "IF I HAD A PONZI "
(If I Were a Rich Man, Fiddler on the Roof)
WilliamBanzai7 (Fraudster on the Roof)
If I had a Ponzi,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd be sitting in the Palm Beach sun.
If I had a good Ponzi scam.
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy Ponzi,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
I'd buy a big gawdy mansion with rooms by the dozen,
Right in the middle of Palm Beach town.
And a fine Park Avenue Penthouse with a fleet of Mercede's and others down below.
There would be one long staircase just going up,
And one even longer coming down,
And one more leading nowhere, just for show.
I'd fill my office with investor ducks and turkeys and geese to fleece
For all of Wall Street to see and hear.
Squawking just as noisily as they can.
Each loud "cheep" "squawk" "honk" "quack"
Would sound like a golden trumpet on my Ponzi scheming ears,
As if to say "Here is yet another wealthy yutz to schtupp."
If I had a PONZI,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I had a good PONZI scam.
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy Ponzi,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
I see my wife, my Ruth, looking like a rich momzer's wife
With a proper Bergdorf grin.
Supervising meals to her heart's delight.
I see her putting on airs and strutting like a Park Avenue trophy tuchas.
Oy, what a happy mood she's in.
Screaming at the servants, day and night.
The most important machers in Wall Street town would come to fawn on me!
They would ask me to advise them,
Like a Solomon the Wiseguy.
"If you please, Bernie..."
"Pardon me, Bernie..."
Posing megillahs that would cross an SEC Branch Chief's eyes!
And it won't make one bit of difference if i answer right or wrong.
When you're a Wall Street gonif, they think you really know!
If I were rich, I'd have the time that I lack
To hook then slice golf balls and pray.
And maybe have a seat on NASDAQ.
And I'd discuss the holy finance books like a big Wall Street macher, several hours every day.
That would be the sweetest thing of all.
If I had a PONZI,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I had a good PONZI scam .
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
Lord who made the Wall Street lions and the rich shnooks and lambs,
You decreed I should be what I am.
Would it spoil some vast eternal plan?
If I built the Mother of all Ponzi scams.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
LETS BAIL HIM OUT
ATLANTA — Travis Henry was rattling off his children’s ages, which range from 3 to 11. He paused and took a breath before finishing
This was no simple task. Henry, 30, a former N.F.L. running back who played for three teams from 2001 to 2007, has nine children — each by a different mother, some born as closely as a few months apart.
Reports of Henry’s prolific procreating, generated by child-support disputes, have highlighted how futile the N.F.L.’s attempts can be at educating its players about making wise choices. The disputes have even eclipsed the attention he received after he was indicted on charges of cocaine trafficking. (Source NYT)
Is there some way we can find some TARP money for this guy?
ATLANTA — Travis Henry was rattling off his children’s ages, which range from 3 to 11. He paused and took a breath before finishing
This was no simple task. Henry, 30, a former N.F.L. running back who played for three teams from 2001 to 2007, has nine children — each by a different mother, some born as closely as a few months apart.
Reports of Henry’s prolific procreating, generated by child-support disputes, have highlighted how futile the N.F.L.’s attempts can be at educating its players about making wise choices. The disputes have even eclipsed the attention he received after he was indicted on charges of cocaine trafficking. (Source NYT)
Is there some way we can find some TARP money for this guy?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
SUBTERRANEAN SUBPRIME BLUES
SUBTERRANEAN SUBPRIME BLUES (REVISITED)
(to Subterranean Homesick Blues, Bob Dylan)
WilliamBanzai7
Johnny's in the basement
Trading on the internet
Out on the pavement
Thinking about the government
The banker in the trench coat
Kicked out, laid off
Says he's got a bad cough
And wants his mortgage paid off
Look out kid
It's that bad trade you did
God knows when
But you're doin' it again
You better duck down the alley way
Lookin' for a new scam
The man in the red cap
With the the big bailout pen
700 Billion dollar bills
You gotta find some new thrills
Goldman's got a big position to foot
AIG's full of CDS soot
Talkin' that Lehman short put
All of us on same bus but
The markets tanked anyway
Bernanke says that many say
We can go bust anyday
Orders in from Ebay
Look out kid
Don't matter what you did
Walk on your winged tip toes
Don't try economic "No Doz"
Better stay away from those
Carry round a financial fire hose
Hard to keep a clean nose
Watch the men in plain clothes
You don't need a weather map
To know which way your stock goes
Get sick, get well
Hang around a red ink well
Closing bell, hard to tell
If anything their goin' to sell
Try hard, get tarred
Get back, go to jail
Get enjoined, jump bail
Join a hedge fund, if you fail
Look out kid
You're gonna get hit
But losers, cheaters
Crooked subprime PONZI shmoozers
Hang around with Chelsea strippers
Sitting in the toxic asset whirlpool
Lookin' for a new fool
Don't follow market leaders
Watch the Federal debt meter
Ah get burned, keep warm
Shorts dance, lose your pants
Get dressed, sell distressed
Try to be a new success
Please buy, don't sell
Its a steal, need a lift
Twenty years of Wall Street hell
And they put you on the day shift
Look out kid
Try to keep it all hid
Better jump through a loophole
Light yourself a roman candle
Don't get caught wearing greek sandals
Try to avoid the market scandals
Don't wanna be a Wall Street bum
You better chew some new gum
The Fed pump don't work
Cause the vandals stole the handles
BERNANKE'S VIOLIN
“Strong and effective regulation and supervision of banking institutions, although necessary for reducing systemic risk, are not sufficient by themselves to achieve this aim.”
Ben Bernanke-March 9, 2009
Mr. Bernanke should know better. By rescuing AIG and CITI, Mr. Bernanke’s policies have encouraged the market to continue to lend and transact business with giant, opaque and uncontrollable financial juggernauts because Uncle Sam can be counted on to bail them out when they fail. The bigger the better. That’s the lesson of Bailout 101.
By eliminating the negative market stigma and economic punishment for of reckless management and financial failure, Mr. Bernanke and company leave us no alternative than to rely on policy wonks and brain dead regulators to pull the levers of financial restraint.
Moral hazard has been relegated to a quaint but outdated idea.
“Strong and effective regulation and supervision of banking institutions, although necessary for reducing systemic risk, are not sufficient by themselves to achieve this aim.”
Ben Bernanke-March 9, 2009
Mr. Bernanke should know better. By rescuing AIG and CITI, Mr. Bernanke’s policies have encouraged the market to continue to lend and transact business with giant, opaque and uncontrollable financial juggernauts because Uncle Sam can be counted on to bail them out when they fail. The bigger the better. That’s the lesson of Bailout 101.
By eliminating the negative market stigma and economic punishment for of reckless management and financial failure, Mr. Bernanke and company leave us no alternative than to rely on policy wonks and brain dead regulators to pull the levers of financial restraint.
Moral hazard has been relegated to a quaint but outdated idea.
Monday, March 9, 2009
DR STRANGELOSS-HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE AIG BOMB
BANZAI7 BREAKING NEWS:
Here is link to the actual draft document circulated by AIG in Washington.
Systemic Risk or Systematic Bull Shit? You be the judge.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/13132146/AIGSYSTEMIC-RISK-OR-SYSTEMATIC-BULLSHIT-YOU-BE-THE-JUDGE
AIG-SYSTEMIC RISK OR SYSTEMATIC BULLSHIT? YOU BE THE JUDGE
BANZAI7 BREAKING NEWS:
Here is link to the actual draft document circulated by AIG in Washington.
Systemic Risk or Systematic Bull Shit? You be the judge.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/13132146/AIGSYSTEMIC-RISK-OR-SYSTEMATIC-BULLSHIT-YOU-BE-THE-JUDGE
AIG-SYSTEMIC RISK OR SYSTEMATIC BULLSHIT? YOU BE THE JUDGE
SUBPRIME LOSS TYCOON
MOVIN TO BERMUDA SOON GONNA BE A SUBPRIME DROSS TYCOON
(Movin to Montana Soon, Frank Zappa)
WilliamBanzai7
I might be movin' to Bermuda soon
Just to write me up a crop of structured finance dross, Writin it up
Markin it down
In a little black box
That I can sell downtown
By myself I wouldn't
Have no coins to toss,
But I'd be writin my lowly subprime dross
Writin' my lowly Subprime dross
Well I just might hire me some quantitative geeks
And I'd sell that geek fluff
To somebody else...
but then, on the other hand
I'd Keep take some synthetic cheese snacks N' melt it down
Take some geek sauce N' swish it aroun'
I'd have me a crop of crap
An' it'd be on top
(that's why I'm movin' to Bermuda)
Movin' to Bermuda soon
Gonna be a structured finance dross tycoon
(yes I am)
Movin' to Bermuda soon
Gonna be a structured dross flykune
I'm securitizing' the ol' Subprime dross
That's growin' in Greenspan's scary bubble
Pluckin' the dross!
I plucked all day an' all nite an' all Afternoon...
I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
(His name is GAUSS)
He's a good hoss
Even though He's a bit dim witted to strap a hedge straddle or
rating blanket on anyway
Any way I'm writin' the ol' Subprime dross
Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I'm gonna find me a European counterparty horse
With a brain just about this big
An' ride him all across the inefficient frontier
With a Pair of heavy-duty
Magic alpha-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other structured finance geek would say
I was mighty grand
By myself I wouldn't
Have no coin to toss
But I'd be writin' my lowly Subprime dross
Well I might Ride along the Level 3 border
With my tweezers gleamin'
In the moon-lighty night
And then I'd Get a cuppa cawfee
N' give my CRO a kick in the tush...
Just me 'n the pymgy pony
Over the Subprime dross Bush
N' then I might just Jumb back on
An' ride Like a Wall Street cowboy
Into the dawn to Bermuda
Movin' to Bermuda soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Bermuda soon
(Movin to Montana Soon, Frank Zappa)
WilliamBanzai7
I might be movin' to Bermuda soon
Just to write me up a crop of structured finance dross, Writin it up
Markin it down
In a little black box
That I can sell downtown
By myself I wouldn't
Have no coins to toss,
But I'd be writin my lowly subprime dross
Writin' my lowly Subprime dross
Well I just might hire me some quantitative geeks
And I'd sell that geek fluff
To somebody else...
but then, on the other hand
I'd Keep take some synthetic cheese snacks N' melt it down
Take some geek sauce N' swish it aroun'
I'd have me a crop of crap
An' it'd be on top
(that's why I'm movin' to Bermuda)
Movin' to Bermuda soon
Gonna be a structured finance dross tycoon
(yes I am)
Movin' to Bermuda soon
Gonna be a structured dross flykune
I'm securitizing' the ol' Subprime dross
That's growin' in Greenspan's scary bubble
Pluckin' the dross!
I plucked all day an' all nite an' all Afternoon...
I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
(His name is GAUSS)
He's a good hoss
Even though He's a bit dim witted to strap a hedge straddle or
rating blanket on anyway
Any way I'm writin' the ol' Subprime dross
Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I'm gonna find me a European counterparty horse
With a brain just about this big
An' ride him all across the inefficient frontier
With a Pair of heavy-duty
Magic alpha-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other structured finance geek would say
I was mighty grand
By myself I wouldn't
Have no coin to toss
But I'd be writin' my lowly Subprime dross
Well I might Ride along the Level 3 border
With my tweezers gleamin'
In the moon-lighty night
And then I'd Get a cuppa cawfee
N' give my CRO a kick in the tush...
Just me 'n the pymgy pony
Over the Subprime dross Bush
N' then I might just Jumb back on
An' ride Like a Wall Street cowboy
Into the dawn to Bermuda
Movin' to Bermuda soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Bermuda soon
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