Sunday, May 17, 2009
SPITZ-TIGER'S LAST STAND
SPITZ-TIGER'S LAST STAND
(Growl-Tiger's Last Stand, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats, TS Elliot)
WilliamBanzai7s Book of Wall Street Fat Cats
Spitz-tiger was an AG Cat, who traveled on a prosecutorial barge:
In fact he was the roughest toughest AG Cat that ever roamed at large.
From Battery Park to Park he pursued his aim,
Rejoicing in his title of `The Terror of the Financial Services Con Game'.
His manners and appearance did not calculate to please;
His coat was torn at the sleeve, he was baggy at the knees;
One ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why,
And he scowled upon a hostile financial world from his forbidding blue eyes.
Those FAT Cat codgers Hank Greenberg and Sandy Weil knew something of his fame;
At AIG and CITI Fat Cats shuddered at his name.
They would fortify the pent-house, lock up the golden goose,
When the rumour ran along the shore: SPITZ-TIGER'S ON THE LOOSE!
Woe to the Wall Street canary, that fluttered from his cage;
Woe to the pampered Pekinese banker cheat, that faced Spitz-Tiger's rage;
Woe to the crooked banker rat, that lurks on investment banking ships,
And woe to any wiley Fat Cat with whom Spitz-Tiger came to grips!
But of the Wall Street Fat Cats that his hatred had been vowed;
To Fat Cats of avarice and greed no quarter was allowed.
The NYSE and Merrill regarded him with fear -
Because if Wall Street mice were at play Spitz-Tiger'd be the first to hear.
Now on a peaceful summer night, all nature seemed at play,
The tender moon was shining bright, the barge at South Street lay.
All in the balmy Brooklyn moonlight it lay rocking on the tide -
And Spitz-tiger was disposed to show his sentimental side.
In the forepeak of the vessel Spitz-tiger sat,
Concentrating his attention on "Kristan" or Ashley Alexandra Dupre, a working Kitty Kat
And his raffish crew were sleeping in their barrels and their bunks -
As the Spitz-Tiger's foes came creeping in their sampans and their junks.
Spitz-tiger had no George Fox eye but for Kitty,
And the Lady seemed enraptured by his courtroom baritone,
Disposed to relaxation, and awaiting no surprise -
But the moonlight shone reflected from a hundred bright enemy eyes.
And closer still and closer the sampans circled round,
And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound.
The lovers sang their last duet, in danger of their lives -
For the foe was armed with Fat Cat pitch forks and Republican carving knives.
Then US Attorney GARCIA gave the signal to his fierce prosecutorial horde;
With a frightful burst of firework they swarmed aboard.
Abandoning their sampans, and their pullaways and junks,
They battened down the hatches on the crew within their bunks.
Then Kitty Cat Kristan she gave a screech, for she was badly skeered;
I am sorry to admit it, but she quickly disappeared.
She probably escaped with ease, I'm sure she was not drowned -
But a serried ring of flashing Fed steel Spitz-Tiger did surround.
The ruthless foe pressed forward, in stubborn rank on rank;
Spitz-Tiger to his vast surprise was forced to walk the Federal plank.
He who a hundred Fat Cat victims had driven to that drop,
At the end for all their crimes he was forced to go ker-flip, ker-flop.
Oh there was tasty schadenfreude cream on Wall Street when the news flew through blog land;
At Nantucket and East Hampton there were Fat Cats dancing in the sand.
Rats were roasted whole on Park Avenue, and at Larchmont Dock,
And a day of swindling Fat Cat celebration was commanded from NY to Bangkok.