Sunday, December 28, 2008

BUSH THE FECKLESS CONMAN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE GOP
(to the melody of Barack the Magic Negro or Puff the Magic Dragon)
WilliamBanzai7

Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty,
Little Dicky Cheney loved that rascal Bush,
And brought him water boards, illegal wire taps and other fancy stuff. oh

Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty
Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty

Together they would travel on a Presidential yacht filled with felons, child molesters, liars and corrupt political appointees.
Dickie kept a lookout while Dubya huffed and puffed and failed his own country,
Hastert, Delay, Foley, Craig, Vitter, Gonzalez, Libby, Stevens, Brownie, Rummy the list's too long to explain,
Somali pirate ships should all lower their flags to honor the Republican hall of shame. oh!

Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty
Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty

A dragon lives forever but not so the two faced, lying and corrupt
West wings and campaign finance rings make way for boy toys behind bars.
One grey night it happened, Barack came knocking on the White House door
And Bush that cagey conman, ceased his feckless roar.

His head was bent in sorrow, the neocons cried in pain,
Dickie could no longer play along the Camp David lane.
Outside the oval office, Dubya could not be brave,
So Bush that feckless conman sadly slipped into his Crawford cave. oh!

Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty
Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty

Saturday, December 20, 2008

"I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS (BERNIE MADOFF VERSION)
(I'll Be Home for Christmas)
WilliamBanzai7

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
All I need is a Reuters screen and blackberry
Underneath the Hannukah tree
The FBI will find me
Where the fraud light beams
I'll be home for Christmas
The world's one big Ponzi scheme!

Friday, December 19, 2008

WALL STREET BAIL OUT WONDERLAND
(Winter Wonderland)
WilliamBanzai7

Opening Bells ring, are you listening,
On the Street, the snow job is glistening
An ignoble sight,
We're happy tonight,
Working in Wall Street bailout wonderland.

Gone away is the old bird,
Here to stay is a new bird
He sings an opprobrious song,
As we go along,
Working in Wall Street bailout wonderland.

We can go and eulogize a subprime snowman,
Then pretend that he is Madoff the clown
He'll say: Whats my carry?
We'll say: None man,
But you can always do a fleece job
In Ponzi town.

Later on, we'll all conspire,
As we dream of not being fired
To face unafraid,
The new scams that we'll make,
Working in Wall Street bailout wonderland.

In the meadow we can build another financial snowman,
And pretend that he's an SEC circus clown
We'll have lots of fun shtuping mister snowman,
Until the markets inevitably knock him down.

When it snows, ain't it thrilling,
To aim the hose while pyramiding
We'll frolic and play, the fraudulent way,
Working in Wall Street bailout wonderland.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

YOU"RE A MEAN ONE BERNIE THE WALL STREET GRINCH
(Semi Yiddish Version)
(You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPBS7dVrE1U

You're a mean one, Bernie the Grinch
You really know how to "filch" and steel,
You're a cuddly Ponzi scheming cactus, you're a charming Wall Street "khazer", Bernie the Grinch,
You're a big Palm Beach banana with a greasy black peel!


You're an asset management "loch in kop", Bernie the Grinch
Your business is a "gelt" black hole almost as big as AIG,
Your brain is full of "ferkakdeh" trades, you have garlic in your "fershtinkiner" soul, Bernie the Grinch,
Investors shouldn't have touched you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!


You're a foul one, Bernie the Grinch,
You say the dog ate your "bupkes" records,
You have all the tender sincerity of a typical "filching" Wall Street "shnorrer", Bernie the Grinch,
Given a choice between the two of you I'd sooner drink bottled water from the East River!


You're a rotten "s--hmuck", Bernie the Grinch,
You're the king of hedge fund scamster "dreck",
Your heart's a rotten "gefilte" splotched with moldy purple spots, Bernie the Grinch,
You're a triple decker synthetic CDO and CDS toadstool sandwich with arsenic Wall Street bailout sauce on top!


You nauseate me, Bernie the Grinch,
You're a nauseous super Wall Street "momzer!",
You're a crooked Alpha "schlockster" and you run a crooked "shandhoiz", Bernie the Grinch,
Your trading books are an appalling dung heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of "chazere" rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled "kishka" knots!


You're a foul one, Bernie the Grinch,
You're a nasty wasty Wall Street "goniff",
Your heart is an unwashed "shmanta", your soul is full of bogus "schmaltz", Bernie the Grinch,
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
"Shtunk, shtup, shlemiel"!

Bernard Madoff
"Tsen shifn mit gold zol er farmorgn, un dos gantse gelt zol er farkrenkn."
Ten ships of gold should be his and the money should only make him sick.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

THESE SHOES ARE MADE FOR THROWIN (the Ballad of Muntazer Al Zaidi)

(These Boots Are Made for Walikin-Nancy Sinatra)

WilliamBanzai7


SING ALONG LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OU7Nezg7Ls


You keep saying troops will soon be withdrawin.
Just like you said something about finding WMD, but confess.


You've been messin' too long in IRAQ where you shouldn't be a messin'
and now everyone is gettin' shafted in the mother of all sorry messes.


These shoes are made for throwin, and that's just what I'll do
one of these days these Vibram Soled Mocs are gonna get thrown right at you!


You keep lying, when you oughta be a truthin'
and you keep losin' when you oughta not bet.


You keep samin' when you oughta be changin'.
Now what's right is right, but you ain't been right yet.


These shoes are made for throwin, and that's just what I'll do
one of these days these Vibram Soled Mocs are gonna get thrown right at you!


You keep playin' Commander where you shouldn't be playin
and you keep thinkin' that your sorry legacy will never get burnt.


Ha! I just found me a brand new box of Timberlanders yeah
and what I know you ain't HAD time to learn.


These shoes are made for throwin, and that's just what I'll do
one of these days these Vibram Soled Mocs are gonna get thrown right at you!


Are you ready shoes? Start flyin'!

Monday, December 15, 2008

PALM BEACH GOT RUN OVER BY MADOFF'S PONZI REINDEER
(Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer)
WilliamBanzai7

(chorus)
Palm Beach got run over by Bernie Madoff's Ponzi reindeer
Just two weeks before Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as a Wall Street scamster
But as for we in America, we believe

He'd been chalking up bogus Alpha
So the SEC said he had to go
And as he waltzed out of his lair on Third Avenue
Defiant as he was, he said, "Positive returns, hell no!"

When they woke up yesterday morning
It was clear the Palm Beach clique had been attacked
May as well stick a note to their own foreheads
Saying, "Oh Lord, please give us our money back!!"

(repeat chorus)

Now we're all so proud of our regulators
They've been taking this so well
See them crammed in Madoff's office
Knowing that SEC Chairman Cox will soon be sent to pink slip h-e-l-l

It won't be a Merry Christmas thanks to Madoff
Nor a Happy Hannukah as well
And we just can't help but wonder
Dosn't all of Wall Street have that pungent Ponzi smell?

(repeat chorus)

Now that Madoff's books are on the table
See all the other asset managers dance a jig (Ah!)
And the bogus billion dollar earnings
That not surprisingly had been rigged!

Be forewarned all you rich country club investors
Better watch out for yourselves!
You should not make be dreaming of serial Alpha
With hedge fund goofs who play golf better than yourselves!

(repeat chorus)

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Nicholas Taleb: Interview with Charlie Rose

http://www.charlierose.com/view/interview/9713
MADOFF THE WALL STREET FAKIR
(Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer)
WilliamBanzai7

You know Vesco and Boesky, and Keating and Milken,
Leeson and Mozer, and Ponzi and Wiggen,
But do you recall, the most famous securities fraudster of all?

Madoff the WALL STREET FAKIR
Had a GIANT PONZI SCHEME,
And if you ever saw it,
You could say it was Wall Street's own worst dream.

All of the other Wall Street fraudsters
Used to laugh and call him names;
They never believed poor Madoff
Made a legitimate Alpha trade,

Then one shady Wall Street trading eve,
Madoff spilt his own beans to the SEC
"Madoff oh your scheme's so bright,
Won't you go to jail tonight?"

Then how the Wall Street fraudsters loved him
As they shouted out with glee,
"Madoff the WALL STREET FAKIR,
You’ll go down in securities fraud infamy."

Q: Whats the difference between Bernie Madoff and the CEO of a bulge bracket Wall Street investment bank?

A: Madoff is not asking for a bailout.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

HEDGE FUND'S ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE
(The Christmas Song)
WilliamBanzai7

Hedge funds roasting on an open fire
Investors sure to get the hose
Alpha carols being sung by a wealthy choir of the dumb
And regulators dressed up like Eskimos

Everybody knows that burnt hedge hog turkeys and
Madoff's ponzi scheme help to make the seasons blight
SEC examiners with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that billion dollar losses are on the way
The markets are loaded with cows for slaughter
Its the Wall Street way
And ev'ry wealthy grandmother's
Child is gonna spy to see if
Quants, traders and pinstriped conmen really know how to fly

And so, I'm offering this
Simple phrase to investors from
One to ninety-two
Altho' it's been said many times
Many ways
Merry Redemptions to you!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

THIS IS AIG
(This is Halloween from the Nitemare Before Christmas)
WilliamBanzai7

[Hank Greenberg's SHADOW]
Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?

[GOLDMAN BANKER]
Come with us and you will see
This, the bailout town of AIG

[CHORUS]
This is AIG, this is AIG
Shareholders, counterparties and taxpayers scream in the dead of night

[AIG LIABILITY GHOSTS]
This is AIG, more hidden liabilities than you've ever seen
Tricks or deceit till the markets die of fright
It's our bailout town, everybody scream
In this bailout town of AIG

[CREATURE IN THE TRADING BOOK]
I am the one hiding in your trading book
Teeth ground sharp and net position glowing red

[MAN RUNNING AIG CAPITAL MARKETS]
I am the one hiding our credit default swaps
Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair

[CHORUS]
This is AIG, this is AIG

[VAMPIRE BAILOUT SUCKERS]
AIG, AIG, AIG, AIG!
In this crooked company we call home
Everyone bail, we turn into a pumpkin before long.

[MAYOR BLOOMBERG]
In this town of busted banks, don't we love it now?
Everybody's waiting for the next Billion dollar AIG surprise!

[CHORUS]
Round that corner, hiding in that ledger
Something's waiting to pounce, and how you'll...

[MANAGEMENT]
Scream! This is AIG, THIS IS AIG
RED RED RED RED and slimey green management team

[HANK]
Well, that's just fine
Say it once, say it twice
Take a chance and roll the dice
Ride with the bailout doomed in the dead of night

[HIDDEN LIABILITY TREE]
Everybody scream, everbody scream

[AIG BOARD]
In our town of AIG!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

WALL STREET WISHES YOU A MERRY BAILOUT CHRISTMAS
(We Wish You a Merry Christmas)
WilliamBanzai7

We screwed you with Securitizations;
We screwed you with Quantitative Manipulations;
We screwed you with Derivative Globalization, now we're covering our rears.
Poor tidings we bring to you and your kin;
Poor tidings of Recession and an Unhappy New Year.

Oh, bring us more bailout pudding;
Oh, bring us more bailout pudding;
Oh, bring us more bailout pudding and a tin cup of taxpayer cheer

We won't go until we get some;
We won't go until we get some;
We won't go until we get some, so bring some out here

We wish you a Bailout Christmas;
We wish you a Bailout Christmas;
We wish you a Bailout Christmas and more Turmoil Next Year.

Monday, December 8, 2008

MELE KALKIMAKA WALL STREET
(Mele Kalikimaka, Bing Crosby Christmas)
WilliamBanzai7

SECURITIZED ASSET MARKDOWNs is one way say no bonus will be paid for Christmas 2008
That's the shareholder greeting to be sent to them from the land where no dividends are paid
Here we know that losses are obscenely high
If you think you are underpaid then go take a hike
SECURITIZED ASSET MARKDOWNS is the shareholder way to say no Merry Christmas bonus for you

The Andrew Sisters:
Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say on a bright Hawian Christmas day
That's the island greeting that we send to you from the land where palm trees sway
Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright
The sun to shine by day and all the stars at night
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way to say Merry Christmas to you

The Andrew Sister's, Andrew Cuomo and Bing Crosby:
There they know that LOSSES are OBSCENELY HIGH
If they think they're underpaid then they should go take a hike
Mele Kalikimaka is the perfect way to say NO CHRISTMAS BONUS FOR YOU

Mele Kalikimaka is what we all should say to WALL STREET BANKERS WHO WANT A YEAR END BONUS PAID
Thats the perfect message to be sent to them in the land where bailouts saved the day
Here we know that LOSSES HAVE BEEN OBSCENELY HIGH
LETS TELL ALL THEM BANKERS TO KISS US WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE
Mele Kalikimaka is the perfect way to say no Christmas Bonus
no very Merry Christmas Bonus , no very, very, merry, merry Christmas Bonus for youuuuuuuuuu

Saturday, December 6, 2008

OJ GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER
(Grandma/Osama Got Run Over By a Reindeer)
WilliamBanzai7

(chorus)
OJ got run over by a reindeer
Walking out of his cell Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for the Goldmans and the Browns they believe

He'd been caught robbing football memorabilia
So the jury said he had to go
But as he sat in his cell block
Defiant as he was, he said, "Hell, no!"

When we found him Christmas morning
It was clear he'd been attacked
There was a note stuck to his forehead
It said, "Its over Simpson time for some pay back!"

(repeat chorus)

Now we're all so proud of Johnny Cochran
He's been taking this so well
See him in his office
Knowing that Simpsons going to be joining him in celebrity H-e-l-l

It's bad for business without OJ
No more TV trials and Court TV quacks.
And we just can't help but wonder
Will Ford use bailout money to buy that Bronco back?

(repeat chorus)

Now the famous glove is on the table
See Marcia Clark dance a jig (Ah!)
And the famous blood stained Bruno Magli foot print
That F Lee Bailey claimed was rigged!

Well theres a moral to this story
Celebrity wife murderers watch out for yourselves!
You should not be using guns and two bit hoodlums
Stealing back all the celebrity junk you once had to sell!

(repeat chorus)

williambanzai7.blogspot.com

Friday, December 5, 2008

MEET THE FLINT SHMO
(Flintstones)
WilliamBanzai7

Flint Shmo. Meet the Flint Shmo.
He's the modern GM CEO comedy.
Automotive bedrock,
Now they're headed to insolvency.

Let's ride in that turkey SUV.
Through the courtesy of Wagoneer's two feet.

When you're with the Flint Shmo
you'll have a yabba dabba doo time.
A dabba doo time.
You'll have a bailout time!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Night Before Bailout Christmas
(The Night Before Christmas)
WilliamBanzai7

Twas a fortnight before Christmas, when there came to the House
A cadre of Detroit clowns doing a sad bailout grouse.
Their company's were hung by years of inept stupidity and greed,
Now there they were standing, the last of a dying breed.

The union ranks were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of hybrids and plug-ins danced in their greedy heads.
And John Dingell with his big auto ‘kerchief, that old Detroit hack,
Had just settled his brains for some more motown crack.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
It sounded like a vehicle powered by reverse anti-matter.
Away to the window all flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

There on the pavement without snow
With the lustre of well designed objects below.
What to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a brand new Toyota Prius powered by eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
All knew in a moment it must be Bailout St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Toyota! now, Nissan! now, Daihatsu and Honda!
On, Isuzu! On, Suzuki! on, on Mistubishi and Mazda!
To the top of the market! while the big three all fall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before old hurricane Katrina fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the rotunda the coursers they flew,
With the hybrid sleigh full of Bailout Toys, and Bailout St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, there was heard under the Capital roof
The silly prancing and gnawing of each Big 3 auto goof.
As all shook our heads, and made a skeptical frown,
Then through the hearing room doors lept Bailout St Nicholas with a bound.

He was dressed all in red Texaco overalls, and black harley boots,
And his clothes were all tarnished with 10W40 and soot.
And billions of bailout dollars he had flung in his bailout sack,
And he looked like a used lemon peddler, just commencing his attack.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the bailout stockings, then turned to those three Big 3 auto jerks.
And laying his fingers to cover his nose,
While giving a nod, all the taxpayers got hosed!

He sprang to his Bailout sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like one big Detroit bailout missile.
But they heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Bailout Christmas to all, see you next year good-night!"

GREENSPAN GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER


GREENSPAN GOT RUN OVER BY A BLACK REINDEER
(Grandma/Osama Got Run Over by a Reindeer)
WilliamBanzai7

Greenspan got run over by a black reindeer
Walking home from a CITI ATM Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as negative Alpha
As for the Wall Street banks and hedge funds they believe

He'd been drinking too much free market egg nog
So its best he had to go
But he wrote a book full of financial flim flam
Defiant as he was, he said financial WMDs, "Hell, no!"

When we found him Christmas morning
At the scene of the attack
There was a note stuck to his forehead
It said, "Give us all our bail out dollars back!"

(repeat chorus)

Now we're all so proud of Bush and Hank Paulsen
They've been taking this so well
See them in the Oval office
Knowing that global markets have really gone to Hell

It's not Christmas without Greenspan
No free toasters and synthetic asset backeds
And we just can't help but wonder
Can we go bomb Osama Bin Laden with CDSs in a sneak attack?

(repeat chorus)

Now a Detroit bailout's on the table
See Rick Wagoneer dance a jig (Ah!)
And the silver and blue Humvees
That would have matched the hairs in Greenspan's wig

You should warn all your friends and neighbors
Better watch out for yourselves!
They should not be marketing SUVs and mortgage backed securiities
Made of stuff you can't even insure at AIG!

(repeat chorus)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

O BAILOUT TREE
(O Christmas Tree)
WilliamBanzai7

O Bailout Tree, O Bailout Tree!
Those Wall Street thieves are vermin!
O Bailout Tree, O Bailout Tree!
They should all be thrown into the trash bin!

Not only is there subprime slime,
In Detroit they think its Miller time.
O Bailout Tree, O Bailout Tree!
Capitalist thieves playing tin violins!

O AIG, O AIG,
The mother of all bailout sieves!
O AIG, O AIG,
Its good to be a systemic titanic!

And every time the Bailout tree,
Brings to us all more gloom than glee.
O Bailout Tree, O Bailout Tree,
Much management malfeasance doth thou bring to me!

O Bailout Tree, O Bailout Tree,
Moral hazard's candle shines out brightly!
O Bailout Tree, Those Bailout Thieves,
Their motto is "Why not me?"!

The dough we've blown is a fiscal fright,
The dough that's thrown without oversight.
O Bailout Tree, O Bailout Tree,
You're a black hole yet undetermined!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Hank's n-u-ts roasting on an open fire.
TARP's not clean says the GAO
It won't be long
Before the money is all gone
and Geitner's left to sweep the crumbs left over from last night
TARP Road Map

We Three Motown Kings
(We Three Kings)
WilliamBanzai7

We three monarchs of Motown are
Here to save our dumb automotive arse.
No more petrol fountain, huge SUV mountain,
Following the Washington bailout star.

Bailout star of wonder, don't say good night,
O Star save us from our greedy idiotic plight,
Balance sheet's are bleeding, losses still proceeding,
Save us from what deep down we know is right.

Born as kings of the gas guzzling domain,
Fool's gold we bring please crown us again,
Lemon Kings forever, ceasing never
Over all American drivers to reign.

O Bailout star of wonder, don't say good night,
Star save us from our greedy idiotic plight,
Balance sheet's are bleeding, losses still proceeding,
Save us from what deep down we know is right.

Frankenstein's bailout plan have I.
Drove to DC in a hybrid all night.
Prayer and praising will send our stock raising,
Our ship is one big pie in the sky.

Bailout star of wonder, don't say good night,
O Star save us from our greedy idiotic plight,
Balance sheet's are bleeding, still proceeding,
Save us from what deep down we know is right.

Plug in mine: it'll run on a dime
Breath fresh air, low emissions and zoom time.
Borrowing, redesigning, union undermining,
Sealed in the stone-cold SUV tomb.

Bailout star of wonder, don't say good night,
O Star save us from our greedy idiotic plight,
Balance sheet's are bleeding, losses still proceeding,
Save us from what deep down we know is right.

Glorious now behold Motown will once again rise,
Bailout largesse and taxpayer sacrifice.
Alleluia, alleluia!
Clunking sounds heard all through the earth and skies.

Bailout star of wonder, don't say good night,
O Star save us from our greedy idiotic plight,
Balance sheet's are bleeding, still proceeding,
Save us from what deep down we know is right.
The Twelve Wall Street Days of Christmas
WilliamBanzai7

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
What did Wall Street send to me ?

Twelve doomsday drummers drumming,
Eleven bailout pipers piping,
Ten investment bankers a-leaping,
Nine Russian ladies table dancing,
Eight brokers a bilking,
Seven hedge funds a skimming,
Six quants hallucinating,
Five overpaid CEOs a blinging,
Four synthetic CDO turds stinking,
Three red pens,
Two free toaster Ov's,
And a mortgage they said was interest free!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

PANDIT THE NUT


PANDIT THE BAILOUT NUT
(I'm a Nut, Leroy Pullins)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqsauoDmgDo

Beedle-dee-bah, beedle-dee-bah, beedle-dee-ree-pa-dom...

[Chorus]
I'm a nut, I'm a bailout nut
My bank won't ever go bust, whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop
The head on my shoulders is sorta loose
And I ain't got the sense to save a giant CDO goose
Lord, I am crazy, ...I'm Pandit the bailout nut

Are your shares under water, if you're sellin when it rains?
Is it shorter to Bahrain, than it is by a plane?
Between myself and I, I wonder who's the dumber
Is it hotter in Mumbai, than it is in the summer?

[Chorus]

I drove my Cadillac to Wall Street to satisfy my lust
Wheelin', dealin', left ol' Wall Street on a Greyhound bus
I shouldn't have allowed all my bankers to get fired while I was there
But remember only forest fires prevent Bears

[Chorus]

The subprime crash will be over, when I begin to fight
If it took a dime to go 'round the world
I'd be on the next flight
I don't mind to take the FEDs out
If they don't mind to go Dutch
Makes me feel like a Billion bailout dollars
And I bet CITI ain't worth half that much

[Chorus]

Oh, crazy man! I'm a Nut!
Oh, Lordy, Lordy Lordy, Lordy
I'm crazy, I'm Pandit the Bailout Nut!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008




Yo Ho Ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Bums

(Deadman's Chest)

WilliamBanzai7


The year 2008 has been one big treasure hunt
For Somali Pirates and Bailout Bums
Bankers and tankers and the devil done for the rest
Yo ho ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Bums.


Wall Street bankers plundering Paulsens's TARP

Somali pirates cruising in Donzis and living high on the hog

An AK47, a cutless and a GPS

A subprime CDO, a SIV and a CDS

Ransom and handouts

Yo Ho Ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Bums


Wall Street's creed is a sea of greed

The pirates creed is take whatever you need

Bankers and pirates are one and alike
Take what you want and screw who you like;
Yo ho ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Bums


Is it better to be done by a banker or a scurvey ridden scrum?

Better yet, a Somalian banker pushing Wall Street dung!
Lets pump AIG and send Detroit the crumbs!

Lets steal some crude from those Arabian skunks!
Yo ho ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Bums!
THE ANSWER IS THROW EM IN THE BIN (Ode to Big Auto)
(Blowing in the Wind, Bob Dylan)
WilliamBanzai7

How many times must Big Auto beg for cash
Before you tell them to scram?
Yes, n how many bailout bucks must get squandered and trashed
Before they seep into the Arabian sand?
Yes, n how many gas hogs should we allow to drive by
Before theyre forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is throw em in the bin,
The answer is throw em in the bin.

How many times must Rick Wagoneer cry
Before we explode his bailout pie in the sky?
Yes, n how many inches must John Dingell's nose grow
Before he can admit its a huge sham?
Yes, n how many Prius' and Lexus' must we buy
Before we admit MOTOWN died long ago?
The answer, my friend, is throw em in the bin,
The answer is throw em in the bin.

How many years can Detroit's unionized brontosaurs exist
Before their washed to the sea?
Yes, n how many years can General Motors clunkers exist
After all they're rusty and cheap.
Yes, n how many times can Joe Consumer turn his head,
Pretending he just doesnt see?
The answer, my friend, is throw em in the bin,
The answer is throw em in the bin.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Baby Can You Bail Our Cars
(Baby You Can Drive My Car, The Beatles)
WilliamBanzai7

Asked a politico what he wants us Big 3 to be
He said baby, its so clear can't you see
We want fuel efficiency instead of giant SUVs
But it seems you can’t even do something in between

Baby can you bail our cars
Yes they’re a bunch of gas guzzling discards
Baby can you bail our cars
And maybe we’ll love you

We told Congress that our prospects were good
And they said really?, it's not well understood
Manufacturing petrol pigs is not very fine
Can you show us a better time

Baby can you bail our cars
Yes we need a new fresh start
Baby can you bail our cars
And maybe we'll love you

Beep beep'm beep beep yeah

We told told those D.C. lards we can start right away
They said listen we got something to say
You got no fuel efficient cars and it's breaking our hearts
But here’s a bailout dollar and that's a start

Baby can you bail our cars
Yes we want a new fresh start
Baby you can bail our cars
And maybe we’ll love you

Beep beep'm beep beep yeah
Beep beep'm beep beep yeah
Beep beep'm beep beep yeah
Beep beep'm beep beep yeah

Monday, November 10, 2008

THE AIG BALANCE SHEETS


THE AIG BALANCE SHEETS
(The Adams Family)
WilliamBanzai7

Their creepy and their kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
Their all together flukey,
The AIG Balance Sheets.

Their office is a museum
Where people come to see 'em
They really are a scream
The AIG Balance Sheets.

(Black Hole)
(Opaque)
(Indeterminate)

So get your Bailout TARP on
and some drums that you can roll on
We're gonna pay a call on
The AIG Balance Sheets.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

WHO HAS THE LAST LAUGH NOW?
(Fred Astaire, from Shall We Dance)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing Along to the Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkZdoPaBdG4&feature=related

The odds were a hundred to one against him
The world thought the heights were too high to climb
But people from Missouri never incensed him
Oh, he wasn't a bit concerned
For from hist'ry we have learned
How many, many times the world had turned

They all laughed at Christopher Columbus
When he said the world was round
They all laughed when Edison recorded sound
They all laughed at Wilbur and his brother
When they said that man could fly

They told Obama
his ideas of change were phony
It's the same old cry
They laughed at him wanting our votes
Said he was reaching for the moon
But oh, how we came through
Now they'll have to change their tune

They all said his base was just too scrappy
They laughed at us and how!
But ho, ho, ho!
Who's got the last laugh now?
I'M THE FIRST NUT (Ode to Bush)
(I'm a Nut. Leroy Pullins)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing Along With the Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqsauoDmgDo


Beedle-dee-bah, beedle-dee-bah, beedle-dee-ree-pa-Bush..

[Chorus]
I'm nut, I'm a nut
My Presidential legacy don't amount to much, whoopa-whoopa-whoopa-whoopa
The head on my shoulders is sorta loose
And I ain't got the sense God gave a moose
Lord, I ain't crazy, but ...I'm the First Nut

Is is wetter under in the Potomac, if you're in it when it rains?
Is it shorter to Camp David, than it is by a plane?
Between myself and I, I wonder who's the dumber
Is it hotter down in Crawford, than it is in the summer?

[Chorus]

I drove my Cadillac to Wall Street to satisfy my lust
Wheelin', dealin', left ol' Wall Street on a Greyhound bus
I should'nt have set the markets on fire while I was there
But remember only forest fires prevent Bears

[Chorus]

The poverty war was almost over, until I began to fight
If it took a dime to go 'round the world
I'd cut taxes out of sight
I don't mind to take the Bankers out
If they don't mind to go Dutch
Makes me feel like 700 Billion Bailout Dollars
And I bet the Treasury ain't worth half that much

[Chorus]

Oh, crazy man! I'm a nut!
Oh, Lordy, Lordy Lordy, Lordy
I'm crazy, I'm the First Nut!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

DANCIN IN THE STREETS

Callin' out around the world
Are you ready for a brand new beat?
Obama's here and the time is right
For dancin' in the streets
They're dancin' in Chicago
Down in New Orleans
Up in New York City

All we need is music, sweet music
There'll be music everywhere
There'll be swingin', swayin' and records playin'
And dancin' in the streets

Oh, it doesn't matter who you are or what you wear
Just as long as you are there
So come on, every guy grab a girl
Everywhere around the world
There'll be dancin'
They're dancin' in the street

This is an invitation
Across the nation
A chance for the folks to meet
There'll be laughin' and singin' and music swingin'
And dancin' in the streets

Philadelphia, P.A. (Philadelphia, P.A.)
Baltimore and DC now (Baltimore and DC now)
Yeah don't forget the Motor City (can't forget the Motor City)
WHERE HAVE ALL THE BAILOUT BUCKS GONE?
(Where Have All the Flowers Gone-Pete Seeger)
WilliamBanzai7

Where have all the bailout bucks gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the bailout bucks gone?
Long time ago
Where have all bailout bucks gone?
Greedy bankers and AIG Sponge Bobs have picked them every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?

Where have all the hedge funds gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the hedge funds gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the hedge funds gone?
Exploded every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the investment bankers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the investment bankers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the investment bankers gone?
Gone and laid off every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the investors gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the investors gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the investors gone?
Fled to cash every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the trading profits gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the trading profits gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the trading profits gone?
Covered with toxic mark downs every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?

Monday, November 3, 2008

Derivatives, the final financial frontier. These are the voyages of the TARP Enterprise.
It's open ended mission: to explore strange new financial weapons of mass destruction, to seek out
new write downs and new financial black holes, to boldly bail where no free market capitalist has bailed before.

Captain Hank at Planet AIG: "Beam me up Ben, there's no intelligent life here."

First Officer Bernanke: "Curious Captain, these AIG managers seem to think they can raise $130 Billion Federation Credits through a "fire sale" (is that what you call it) in the worst market for financial assets ever seen in this galaxy quadrant.

Engineer Cox: Perhaps we should'nt be tampering with these delicate instruments.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

ALL AND ALL ITS JUST ANOTHER TRICK FROM THE WALL
Pink Floyd, Brick in the Wall)
WilliamBanzai7

We don't need no regulation
We dont need no risk control
No dark sarcasm in the court rooms
Hey Paulsen leave us banks alone
Hey! Cuomo! Leave them banks alone!
All in all it's just another trick from the Wall.
All in all its just another trick from the Wall.

We don't need no regulation
We dont need no risk control
No dark sarcasm in the hearing room
People leave us banks alone
Hey! Waxman! Leave them banks alone!
All in all it's just another trick from the Wall.
All in all you're just another mark for the Wall.

Stand still Laddy

"Wrong, Do it again!"
"If you don't screw yer customers, you can't be dishonest. How can you
be honest if you work on the Street?"
"You! Yes, you behind the trading screen, screw that pensioner!"

Monday, October 27, 2008

HANG SENG

MARKET SKELTER
(Helter Skelter, John Lennon)
WilliamBanzai7

When they go to the bottom they go back to the top of the slide
Where they stop and you turn and then try to decide
If It gets to the bottom will we see you again, yeh, yeh yeh

Do you, don't you want the markets to save you
Their coming down fast, but their miles above you
Tell me, tell me tell me, c'mon tell me Mr. Financier
Well you may be a trader but you ain't got the answer.

Look out, Market SKelter, Market SKelter, Market Skelter, yeah ...

a-Will you, won't you want it to take you
It's coming down fast, but don't let it shake you
Tell me, tell me, tell me Mr Financier
You may be a broker but you ain't got the answer.

Look out!
Market Skelter, Market Skelter, Market Skelter, oooh...
Look out, 'cause here it comes ...

When It gets to the bottom It goes back to the top of the slide
Then it stops and you turn and then try to decide
If it gets to the bottom will we see you again, yeh, yeh yeh

Well do you, don't you want the markets to break you
Their coming down fast, but don't let em shake you
Tell me, tell me, tell me Mr Financier
Well you may be a joker but you ain't got an answer

Look out!
Market skelter, market skelter, market skelter

Look out! Market Skelter ... their coming down fast
yes they are
yes they are
coming down fast
oh now market skelter ... woo hooo


(yelled)
I got blisters from my blackberry!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

THE LADY IS A ROGUE TRAMP
(The Lady is A Tramp, Frank Sinatra)
WilliamBanzai7

Sung by John McBlame:

She's just too hungry, for a Vice Presidential date
She loves political mud slinging, never heard of Watergate
She'd never bother, with "UnAmerican" voters she hates
Thats why the lady is a rogue tramp

Doesnt like to play games, with media barons and earls
Would only go to campaigning, in ermine and pearls
Will dish the dirt, unlike the rest of us girls
Thats why the lady is a rogue tramp

She loves the free, fresh permafrost wind in her hair
Northern redneck life without care
Shes broke, but its ok the RNC's there
She loves her trailer camp even though, its cold and its damp
Thats why the lady is a rogue tramp

Doesnt like strategy games, with sharpies and aides
Won't get on the bus unless its prepaid
Will dish out more campaign dirt, than the rest of us broads
Thats why the lady is a rogue tramp

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Political Running Man

We are witnessing the Political version of Schwarzeneggers Running Man:

Ladies and Gentleman, we've had Joe the Plumber, Joe Six Pack, Sarah the Pit Veeper, Ayers the Terrorist, even Barack's pal Bush the GOP President. RIP all of them. Now we bring you Ashley the Campaign Volunteer!!!

McCain: This is TV politics, that's all it is. It has nothing to do with people, it's to do with ratings! For fifty years, we've told them what to eat, what to drink, what to wear... for Christ's sake, Barack, don't you understand? Americans love television. They wean their kids on it. Listen. They love game shows, they love wrestling, they love sports and violence. So what do we do? We give 'em *what they want*! We're number one, Barack, that's all that counts, believe me. I've been in the business for thirty years.

Barack: Well John, I may not have been in political game show business for as long as you have. But I'm a quick learner. And right now, I'm going to give the audience what *I* think they want....

Friday, October 24, 2008

HEDGE FUND CASTLES MADE OF SAND
(CASTLES MADE OF SAND, Jimi Hendrix)
WilliamBanzai7

Down on the Street you can hear the investors scream youre a disgrace
As they slam the door in your drunken face
And now you stand outside
And all others start to gossip and drool
You cry oh, the markets they're just mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door you lean and start a scene,
But your tears fall and burn as the the market turns blood red

And so Hedge Fund castles made of sand fall in the market sea, eventually

A little indian brave who before he was ten,
Played wampum in the woods with his indian friends
And he built up a dream that when he grew up
He would be a fearless hedge fund chief
Many trading moons past and more the dream grew strong until
Tomorrow he would make his first trade long and show his trading warrior skills
But something went wrong, surprise bear attack killed him in his sleep that night...

And so Hedge Fund castles made of sand melt into the market sea, eventually
LAMENT OF GREENSPAN THE LEVERAGE KING
(Jack's Lament, The Nitemare Before Christmas)
WilliamBanzai7

There are few who'd deny, at what I do I am the best
For my talents are renowned far and wide
When it came to surprises in the monetary light
I exceled without ever even trying
With the slightest little effort of my fractional reserve charms
I have seen global investors give out a shriek
With the wave of my hand, and a well-placed moan
I have cut interest rates and swept the very bravest central bankers off their feet

Yet year after year, it was the same routine
And I grew so weary of the sound of irrationally exuberant dreams
And I, Greenspan, the Leverage King
Have grown so tired of the same old free market thing

Oh, somewhere deep inside of the US economy
An emptiness began to grow
There's was something else out there, far from my Wall Street home
A longing that I've never known

I'm a master of risk, and a demon of market sleight
And I'll scare you right out of your trading pants
To a guy in Kentucky, I was Mister McLucky
But now I'm known as a financial Bill Buckner on an ill fated October nite

And since I was with the Fed, I could take off my head
To recite Keynesian quotations
No banker nor trader could babble like I could
With the opacity of my recitations

But who here would ever understand
That the Leverage King with the capitalist grin
Would tire of his crown, if they only understood
He'd give it all up if he only could

Oh, there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for more unknown unknowns
The fame and notoriety that will come through the years
Does nothing for these empty free market tears...
Voodoo Trade
(Voodoo Chile (slight return), Jimi Hendrix)
WilliamBanzai7

Well, I stand up next to the markets
And I chop em down with the edge of my hand.
Well, I stand up next to the markets,
Chop em down with the edge of my hand.
Well, I pick up all the pieces one by one,
Might even raise just a little cash.
Cause Im a Voodoo Trade,
Lord knows Im a Voodoo Trade, baby.

I didnt mean to take up all your sweet time,
Ill give it right back to you one of these trading days.
I said I didnt mean to take up all your sweet time,
Ill give it right back one of these black trading days.
And if I dont meet you no more in this financial world
Then ill, Ill meet you in the next one and dont be late, dont be late.
Cause Im a Voodoo Trade, Voodoo Trade,
Lord knows Im a Voodoo Trade, hey hey hey.
Im a Voodoo Trade, baby.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

THE RATING AGENCIES
(The Adams Family Song)
WilliamBanzai7

They're sleepy and they're stupid,
Mysterious and crooked,
They're all together shakey,
The Rating Agencies.

Their models are a screa-um.
When people come to see 'em
Their living in a drea-um.
The Rating Agencies.

Moody's

S&P

Fitch

So get a Wall Street witch's shawl on.
Conflicts? Pay their fees to get them crawlin.
We're gonna pay a call on
The Rating Agencies.
THE THREE REGULATORY STOOGES
(The Three Stooges, Floyds Garage)
WilliamBanzai7

Snow he is the leader, Greenspan is a bleeder
Cox does a funny dance
Howling with laughter, and that was right after
McCain set fire to his pants

Best thing that's on CNBC
Wish we could watch them daily
I just love The Three Regulatory Stooges
Bumbling frustration
They are an obsession
Gotta love The Three Regulatory Stooges
They are so damn funny
Cox he is a dummy

Stooges Rule!

Finger to the eyeball, Then you watch them all fall
From a very high ladder
The one when they are playing with GNP numbers, they couldn't be dumber
Slapping Snow gets madder

Best thing that's on CNBC
Wish we could watch them daily
I just love The Three Regulatory Stooges
Bumbling frustration
They are an obsession
I just love The Three Regulatory Stooges
They are so damn funny
Cox he is a dummy
Stooges Rule!

They call him the maejstro Greenspan,
Got a wrench to the nose
Cox he needs a shampoo, Snow is hitting him too
Brain damaged from all his blows

Best thing that's on CNBC
Too bad we can't watch them daily
I just love The Three Regulatory Stooges
Bumbling frustration
They are an obsession
I just love The Three Regulatory Stooges
They are so damn funny
Cox he is a dummy

Stooges Rule!

Stooges Rule!
Up North Girl
(Uptown Girl, Billy Joel)
WilliamBanzai7

Up North girl
Shes thinks she's livin in Joe Six Pack's world
But she spends it like a jet set girl
Until last month no one ever bought her pearls

Now their voting for an Up North girl
Shes been living in a trailer trash world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now shes running with a Neocon man
And she's wearin nothin but Louis Vuitton

And she knows just what
She wants from Saks and Bloomingdales
And when she wakes up
Shes already made up her mind

Shell see its not so tough
Just because she can't get enough
The RNC'c in love with an up North girl
You know they love her in her $150,000 uptown clothes
She'll never tire of her high class toys
And all her presents from all the GOP boys

Up North girl
You know we cant afford to buy her threads
But maybe someday when her ship goes out
Shell understand what kind of hypocrite she's been
And then we'll win

And when shes walking
Shes looking so politically refined
But when shes talking
Shes just one big political land mine

Up North girl
Shes an up North girl
You know those RNC slugs
they're in love
With an up North girl

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Barack Sings: John McCain

(Purple Rain, Prince)
The Artist: WilliamBanzai7

I never meant to cause the GOP any sorrow.
I never meant to cause them any pain.
I only wanted to give Americans hope for tommorrow
And while I'm at it get them laughing at that clown McCain

John McCain, John McCain
Vote for him for more of the same
John McCain, or is it John McSame

I only want to see you laughing at that clown McCain.

I never wanted you to be a full time DNC lover.
I only wanted you to be some kind of independent friend.
Baby I could never steal you from another.
It will be such a sham if we get 4 more years of the Neocon insane

John McCain, John McCain
A vote for him is a vote for more of the same
John McCain, or is it John McSame

I just don't want to see Americans suffering underneath that clown McCain

"My friends" you know, you know, you know times are changing.
It's time we all reach out for something new,
That means you too.
You say you want a charismatic leader,
But you can't seem to make up your mind.
I think you better open it,
And let me guide you from the people without brains.

John McCain, John McCain
Hes a man without brains
John McCain, or is it John McSame

If you know what I'm singing about up here.
C'mon raise your hand.

John McCain, John McCain
Vote for him for more of the same
John McCain, or is it John McSame

I only want to see us, only want to see us
lead by someone whose got brains
SARAH FEEL'S PRETTY

(I Feel Pretty, West Side Story)

WilliamBanzai7


SARAH
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and even bright!
And I pity
Any trailer girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty hockey mom in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive mom be?
Such a pretty Vice Presidential face,
Such a pretty $5000 dress,
Such a pretty red lipsticked smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a bunch of GOP red necked cowboys!

GIRLS
Have you met our good friend Sarah,
The craziest girl on Joe sixpacks block?
You'll know her the minute you see her,
She's the one who got a broken clock.

She thinks she's smart.
She thinks she's got a great campaign.
She isn't smart,
She's merely shopping McCain insane.

It must be the campaign heat
Or some rare hypocritical disease,
Or too much foies gras to eat
Or maybe it's media fleas.

Keep away from her,
Send for Gap Chinos!
This is not the
Sara we thought we knew!

SARAH
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the District should give me its key.
A Senate committee
Should be organized to honor me.

GIRLS
La la la la . . .

SARAH
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
That the Miss GOP title can be mine!
MASTERCHARGE (McCAIN)
(Mastercharge, Albert Collins)
WilliamBanzai7

I got my Veep running mate a platnum card
Just the other day
I owe $150,000 dollars
Just for yesterday

I said, "Sarah, here's a present
Go out and shop around,
Buy you a couple a-dresses,
Browse around downtown"

She did just what I told her
Bought one, two, three and more
Came home lookin' silly
Makin' goo-goo eyes at me

Mastercharge, I'll break an' bury her card
Mastercharge, I'll break an' bury her card
Mastercharge, I'll break an' bury her card

Oh yeah, charge it!

Said, "Did you get your dress?"
"Yes, one or two"
I needed me some shoes,
I needed some bags and jewelry, too"

Two thousand dollar dresses
I could-a made, I can't sew
It made me so mad
I could call her a so and so

Mastercharge, I'll break an' bury her card
Mastercharge, break an' bury her card
Mastercharge, break an' bury her card

Oh yeah, charge it for me, charge it, baby!

Hey! Ow!

For one-a that gal's dresses, yeah
I paid more than one week's campaign gas
I'm so mad, I just had to laugh

I could see in my mind
On a horse like Paul Revere
Hate to check my mail boxes
'Cause these bills keep comin' here

Mastercharge, break an' bury her card
Mastercharge, break an' bury her card
Mastercharge, break an' bury her card

Oh, let's charge it!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

McCain's Folksy Lady
(Foxy Lady, Jimi Hendrix)

You know you're a cute little GOP heartbreaker
Folksy
You know you're a sweet little mud scraper
Folksy

I wanna see your mobile home
I won't do you no harm, no
You've got a bigger brain than mine
Ooh, folksy

I see you, heh, on down on the RNC scene
Folksy
You make me wanna get up and uh scream
Folksy
Ah, baby listen now
I've made up my mind yeah
I'm tired of wasting all my precious campaign time
You've got a bigger brain than mine, yes mine
Folksy lady

Here I come

I want you to give me some Robo Phone
I want you to see my seven homes
You've got to be a political land mine,

Here I come baby
I'm comin' to get ya
On Fox News baby!
You look so good in that red leather!
Yeah, folksy
Yeah, give us some
Folksy

williambanzai7.blogspot.com

Monday, October 20, 2008

THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE MCCAIN AWAY HA HA
(They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha Ha)
WilliamBanzai7

Remember when you voted for Obama and I got on my knees and begged you not to because I'd go berserk?
Well, you left me anyhow and then election day got worse and worse and now you see I've gone completely out of my politically insipid mind.

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
to the GOP funny farm where life is beautiful all the time, and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
and they're coming to take me away ha ha

You thought I was a joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had said that losing your votes would make me flip my lid, right? You know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed, you laughed and laughed and then you voted left, but now you know I'm utterly mad.

And they're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the GOP happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket Neocon jerks who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away ha ha...

I chose Palin, I'm just insane, I hired an unlicensed plumber even though I'm dumber and this is how you paid me back for all my kind unselfish loving deeds. Huh?
Well you just wait they'll find you yet, and when they do they'll lock you in the AEI you mangy mutt.

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the GOP funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and Neocon jerks who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha Ha

Your home the one the bank foreclosed, You cried to me democratically is the way you must live or you'll feel hurt.
But, I see, I see Obama's new approach, your anxious economic angst has turned your vote from red to blue while I paid the campaign rent, thanks!

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the Neocon loony bin with all you can eat perscription drugs like torizine, and geritol, and electric shock and awe and insulin
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
Election Night Thriller
(Thriller, Michael Jackson)
WilliamBanzai7

It's close To Midnight and There's Vile Republican's Lurking in The Dark.
Under The Moonlight, You See A GOP Ticket That Almost Stops Your Heart.
You Try To Scream, But Terror Takes The Sound Before You Make It.
You Start To Freeze, As Old Count McCain Looks You Right Between The Eyes,
You're Paralyzed

You Hear The Voting Booth Slam, And Realize There's Nowhere Left To Run.
You Feel The Cold Hold, And Wonder If You'll Ever See The Sun
You Close Your Eyes, And Hope That This Is Just Imagination,
But All The While, You Hear GOP Creatures Creepin' Up Behind
You're Out Of Time

They're Out to Get You, There's Robot Callers Closing In On Every Side.
They Will Possess You, Unless You Change The Number On Your Dial.
Now Is the Time for You and I to Cuddle Close Together.
All Thru The Night, I'll Save You From NeoCon Terror On The Screen,
I'll Make You See

(Narrated by Vincent Price)
Darkness Falls Across The Land, The Voting Hour Is Close At Hand.
Grisley RNC Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Your Neighborhood
And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Voting them Down
Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell, And Rot Inside an Economic shell.

The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of McCain's Negative Campaign Drivel
And Redneck Ghouls From Every Trailer Park Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom
And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver
For No Intelligent Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of the Election Day Thriller

'Cause this Is Thriller, McCain Campaign Killer Night
You Gotta Vote or No-ones Gonna Save You from the Beast about Strike.
You Know its Thriller, McCain Campaign Killer Night
You're fighting for Your American Life inside an Election Night Thriller.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

"McCain-Palin, I Got You Babe"
(I Got You Babe, Sonny & Cher)
WilliamBanzai7

[HER:] They say we're dumb and we don't know
We won't find out until we know
[HIM:] Well I don't know if all that's true
'Cause you got me, and baby I got you

[HIM:] Babe
[BOTH:] I got you babe I got you babe

[HER:] They say our campaign don't pay the rent
Before it's earned, our money's all been spent
[HIM:] I guess that's so, we don't have a pot
But at least I'm sure of all the things we got

[HIM:] Babe
[BOTH:] I got you babe I got you babe

[HIM:] I got a plumber fixin the sink I got you to wear my VP ring
[HER:] And when I'm sad, you're a clown
And if I get scared, you're always fartin around
[HER:] So let them say your hair's too gray
'Cause I don't care, with you I just can't use my bong
[HIM:] Then put your little hand in mine
There ain't no political hill or mountain we can't climb

[HIM:] Babe
[BOTH:] I got you babe I got you babe

[HIM:] I got you to hold my running mate hand
[HER:] I got you to misunderstand
[HIM:] I got you to walk the media plank
[HER:] I got you to talk gibberish with me
[HIM:] I got you to for the good fight
[HER:] I got you to aim my rifle sight
[HIM:] I got you, I won't let go
[HER:] I got you to endorse me even though...

[BOTH:] I got you babe
If McCain Only Had His Own Brain
(If I Only Had A Brain, Wizard of Oz)
WilliamBanzai7

He could while away the hours, conferrin' with his pal Palin
"Gee this innovat'n is a drain"
And his head he'd be scratchin' while
his thoughts were busy hatchin'
If McCain only had his own brain.

He'd unravel every economic riddle for any individ'le,
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts he'd be thinkin'
he could be another Lincoln
If McCain only had his own brain.

Oh, he could tell you why the facts are to be ignored.
He could think of things he'd never thunk before.
And then he'd sit, and think some more.
He would not be just a nothin' his head all full of neo-con stuffin'
His heart all full of pain.

It would not be dumber and dumber,
He'd be smarter than a licensed plumber
If McCain only had his own brain.

http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/

THE GEORGE W BUSH FINANCIAL LEXICON

THE George "W" BUSH FINANCIAL LEXICON

By WilliamBanzai7

Absquatulate- To disappear or get out of Dodge City

Alamo- The fall of Lehman

Ace-high ~ Highest rating agency score.

According to Hoyle ~ Regulatory requirements. Hoyle is the card playing dictionary.

A hog-killin' time ~A market bubble

A lick and a promise ~Private placement

Bad medicine-Bad market news

Big hat no cattle- Alan Greenspan

At sea ~ at a loss, not comprehending. "When it comes to finance, I am at sea."

Balled up ~ Confused investor.

Bail out-Bail out

Bandito- A short seller

Bang-up ~ first rate. Similar to "heck of a" "The SEC sure did a bang-up job."

Bartenders- Rating agencies

Bear sign ~ Cowboy term for financial trouble.

Beat the devil around the stump ~ to evade responsibility or a difficult task. "Quit beatin' the devil around the stump and bail that sucker out."

Bend an elbow ~Forcing a bank to accept bailout money

Bender ~ drunk. "Wall Street's off on another bender."

Best bib and tucker ~ your best pinstripes.

Big gun ~ A Central Banker "He's one of the Feds big buns."

Bilk ~ Fraudulent behavior

Bone orchard ~ Cratered deals.

Boot Hill- The United States Bankruptcy Court Southern District New York

Bunko artist ~ Quantitative engineer

Bushwack- Selling repos or getting votes

Buzzard food- Level 3 asset

By hook or crook ~ to do any way possible.

Calaboose ~ White collar correctional facility.

Catawamptiously-Thoroughly, utterly. Catawamptiously insolvent!

Cattle Baron--Private equity honcho

Cattle Kate-Female investment banker

Chucklehead-An AIG executive

Chinaman- One who is loaded with free cash

Chisel, chiseler ~ to cheat or swindle, a cheater.

Clean his/your plow ~ A good or bad trade

Coffee boiler ~ Jr Analyst

Copper a bet ~ Hedging or being prepared against loss. "I'm just coppering my position."

Come a cropper ~ come to ruin, fail, or fall heavily. "He had big plans to get rich, but it all come a cropper, when the bank failed."

Croaker ~ pessimist, doomsayer. "Nouriel Roubini is just an old croaker."

Crowbait ~ derogatory term for a poor-quality asset class.

Difficulty ~ euphimism for trouble, often the shootin' or otherwise violent kind. "He had to leave Wall Street on account of a difficulty with the SEC."

Deadbeat ~ Unemployed banker.

Dinero ~ from the Spanish, a word for money.

Don't care a continental ~ Don't give a damn about the EURO.

Down on ~ opposed to. "He is really down on cheap leverage."

Dragged out ~ fatigued, worn out.

Dreadful ~ very. "Oh, these CDOs are dreadfully lucrative."

Dry gulch ~ Short seller ambush.

Dude ~ an Easterner, or anyone in up-scale town clothes, rather than plain range-riding or work clothes.

Dude ranch- Bond conference

Eucher, euchered ~ to out-smart someone, to be outwitted or suckered into something. "We sure euchered that pension manager"

Fandango ~ from the Spanish, a big deal closing party with lots of dancing and excitement.

F Troop- The United States Securities Exchange Commission

Federales-Washington regulators

Fetch ~ bring, give. "Fetch me my blackberry."

Flannel mouth ~ an overly smooth or fancy talker, especially politicians or derivative salesmen. "I swear that banker is a flannel-mouthed liar."

Flush ~ prosperous, rich.

Fork over ~ pay out.

Four-flusher ~ a cheat, swindler, liar.

Friendlies- Gullible investors

Full as a tick ~ Irrationally exuberant.

Fuss ~ disturbance. "They had a little fuss at the FED."

Get it in the neck ~ get cheated, misled, bamboozled. Goldman gave it to AIG in the neck.

Get the mitten ~ to be rejected by a potential investor. "Looks like the Koreans gave poor Fuld the mitten."

Ghost Rider- Bull market investor

Go through the mill ~ gain trading experience. (Often the hard way.)

Gold Country- The Gulf States

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly- Goldman, Lehman, Bear Stearns

Hired Gun- Wall Street lawyer

Hole in the Wall Gang-Private equity fund managers

Hoosegow ~ jail.

Hot as a whorehouse on nickel night ~ volatile market

Is that a bluff, or do you mean it for real play? ~ Are you serious?

The Heckowy Tribe-AIG "Where the heck ah we?"

Hostile Indians-Mumbai short sellers

Jig is up ~ scheme/game is over, exposed. Loss of all market confidence

The "Hanging Judge"- Judge Rakoff

Let slide/ let drive/ let fly ~ go ahead, let go. "If you think you want trouble, then let fly."

Light (or lighting) a shuck ~ to get the hell out of here in a hurry. "I'm lightin' a shuck for Bermuda."

Loot- Bonuses

Lynch Mob- Angry shareholders.

Mudsill ~ low-life, thoroughly disreputable banker.

Nailed to the counter ~ proven a lie. That road show presentation is nailed to the counter.

Necktie social- Shareholder meeting

Nuclar weapon-Credit default swap

OK Coral- NY Federal Reserve Bank

Odd stick ~ eccentric person. "Judge Greenspan sure is an odd stick."

Of the first water ~ first class. "It's a security of the first water."

Outlaw- Errant banker

Passin the buck ~ What Wall Street CEOs all do.

Pay through the nose ~ Settle of a credit default swap counter party.

Peter out ~ Cheap market rallies peter out.

Pistolero- Short trade hedge fund guru.

Play to the gallery ~ to show off. "That's just how he is, always has to play to the gallery."

Plunder ~ personal belongings. "Pack your plunder, Joe, we're headin' for Cap D'Antibe."

Posse- An underwriting syndicate

Powerful ~ very. "He's a powerful rich man."

POW WOW- FRB meeting

Pull in your horns ~ back off a trading strategy.

Rake and scrape- Asset recovery in Chapter 11

Road agent- Distressed debt investor

Rodeo- A congressional hearing

Round up- Looking for white knight investors

Rich ~ amusing, funny, improbable. "Oh, that's a rich pitch!"

Ride shank's mare ~ to be laid off.

Riding shotgun-What Bernanke did for Paulson

Rob the bank- Borrow from the Fed

Roostered ~ drunk. "Looks like those Wall Street boys are all in there gettin' all roostered up."

Russling- Making a market

Russler- market maker

Scatter Gun- The TARP legislation

Seeing the elephant ~ Going to Wall Street or the City of London, where all the action is.

Sell your saddle- Resign from office

Scalping- Marking to market

Scoop in ~ trick, entice, inveigle. "He got scooped into a credit swap and lost his shirt."

Scuttlebutt ~ market rumors.

Shave tail ~ a green, inexperienced hedge fund trader.

Shoddy ~ poor quality paper.

Shoot, Luke, or give up the gun ~ poop or get off the pot, do it or quit talking about it. Come on Hank, shoot luke or give up the gun!

Shoot one's mouth off ~ talk nonsense, untruth. "Wilumstead was shootin' his mouth off and Paulson gave him a black eye."

Shove the queer ~ to pass securitized assets (CDOs).

Simon pure ~ the real thing, a genuine fact. "This market bust is Simon pure."

Sitting "Bull"- Richard Fuld

Skedaddle ~ run like hell.

Smoke the Pipe- Listen to a lecture on self regulation and free markets

Snake oil salesman- Seasoned investment banker

Stage Coach- Limo service

Stampede-A market run

Stand the gaff ~ take punishment in good spirit. "Wall Street bankers can't really stand the gaff."

Stumped ~ confused. I'm stumped!

Sun up-Market open

Sun down-Market close

Superintend ~ oversee, supervise. "He just likes to superintend everything."

Take French leave ~ to desert, sneak off without permission.

Take the rag off ~ surpass, beat all. "Well, good old Warren knows how to take the rag off the bush."

The Old States ~ back East.

The whole kit and caboodle ~ the entire company.

The Unforgiven- Enron

Throw up the sponge ~ File Chapter 11 petition

Tombstone-An announcement

The Undertaker- Harvey Miller- Undisputed dean of the bankruptcy bar, currently represents Lehman

Up the spout ~ gone to waste/ruin. The bank's capital went up the spout.

Wake up/Woke up the wrong passenger ~ to trouble or anger an activist investor.

Wampum- Money

Workin the utter-Interview with Maria Bartiromo

The Wild Bunch-Hedge fund managers

Wind up ~ settle. "Let's wind up this business and go home."

Wyatt Erp- Elliot Spitzer

Yammerin- Talking to investors at a roadshow

Friday, October 17, 2008

HEDGE SLAMMER
(Sledge Hammer, Peter Gabriel)
WilliamBanzai7

You could have a net gain
If you just laid on your back
You could have your P&L flying
When leverage was cheap and
the market wind was at your back

All your trades were long
It was easy and it was sweet

You could be a swinging big dipper
Going up and down, all around the bends
You could have three fast ferraris bumping
You thought the performance fees would never end

Now the markets a hedge slammer
Why don't you call it a day
Oh the markets just a hedge slammer
This will be your testimony
Now you have to earn a fair wage
the old fashioned way
Cos life's hard for a hedge hog
You don't have to be a sage to know
Money don't grow on trees

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

LAMENT OF HANK THE BAILOUT KING
(Jack's Lament, The Nightmare Before Christmas)
WilliamBanzai7

There are few who'd deny, at what I do I am the best
For my talents are renowned far and wide
When it comes to surprises in the green trading light
I excel without ever even trying
With the slightest little effort of my hedging charms
I have seen global investors give out a shriek
With the wave of my hand, and a well-placed moan
I have swept the very bravest bankers of their feet

Yet year after year, it's the same routine
And I grow so weary of the sound of Wall Street dreams
And I, Hank, the Bailout King
Have grown so tired of the same old free market thing

Oh, somewhere deep inside of the US financial system
An emptiness began to grow
There's something else out there, far from my Wall Street home
A longing that I've never known

I'm a master of risk, and a demon of market sleight
And I'll scare you right out of your trading pants
To a guy in Kentucky, I'm Mister McLucky
And I'm now known throughout England and France

And since I am with the Fed, I can take off my head
To recite Keynesian quotations
No banker nor trader can scream like I can
With the fury of my recitations

But who here would ever understand
That the Bailout King with the capitalist grin
Would tire of his crown, if they only understood
He'd give it all up if he only could

Oh, there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for something unknown
The fame and praise that will come next year a
Does nothing for these empty free market tears...

Monday, October 13, 2008

NIGHTMARE FORECLOSURE ON MY STREET
(Nightmare on My Street, Will Smith)
WilliamBanzai7

Now I have a story that I'd like to tell
About this banker you all know he had me scared as hell
He comes to me at night after I crawl into bed
He's burnt up like a weenie and his name is Freddie Debts
He wears the same suit and wingtips every single day
And even if it's hot outside he wears it anyway
He's home when I'm awake but he shows up when I sleep
I can't believe that there's a foreclosure goin down on my street
It was a Saturday evening if I remember it right
And we had just gotten back from the ATM last night
So the gang and I thought that it would be groovy
If we summoned up the posse and done rushed the movie
Then we dipped to the theater set to ill buggin cold havin a ball
Somethin about Wall Street was the movie we saw
The way it started was decent you know nuthin real fancy
About these homeboy's from Freddie and this dude Bernanke
But word when it was over I said yo that was def
And everything seemed all right when we left
But when I got home and laid down to sleep
That began the foreclosures, but on my street
It was burning in my piggy bank like an oven
My bed soaked with sweat And man I was bugging
I checked the clock and it stopped at 4:00 AM
The markets had melted it was so darn hot And I was thirsty
I wanted something cool to quench my thirst
I thought to myself yo this DOW close was the worst
But when I got downstairs I noticed something was wrong
I was home all alone but CNBC was on
I thought nothin off it as I grabbed the remote
I pushed the power button and then I almost choked
When I heard this awful voice coming from behind It said,"You missed a payment...prepare to die!!"
Man, I ain't even wait to see who it was Broke inside my drawers and screamed, "So long, cuz"
Got halfway up the block I calmed down and stopped screaming Then thought, "Oh, I get it, I must be dreaming"
I strolled back home with a grin on my grill I think that since this is a dream I might as well get ill
I walked in the house, the BSD
But Freddie Debt killed all that noise real quick
he grabbed me by my neck and said "Here's what we'll do
We gotta lotta work here, me and you
The Subprime debts of your friends you and I will claim
You've got the body and I've got the quantitative brain"
I said, "Yo Freddie I think you got me all wrong I ain't partners with nobody with positions that long
Look, I'll be honest man, this team won't work The girls won't be on you, Fred, your bank is all burnt"
Freddie got mad and his head started steaming
But I thought what the hell im only dreamin
I said please leave Fred so I can get some sleep
But give me a call maybe we'll hang out next week
I patted him on the shoulder, said "thanks for stopping by"
then I opened up the door and said "take care guy"
he got mad, drew back his arm, and accelerated my repayment date
I laughed at first, then thought, "hold up, that hurt" It wasn't a dream, man, this guy was for real
I said, "Freddy, uh, pal, there's been an awful mistake here"
No further words and then I darted upstairs
Crashed through my door then jumped on my bed
Pulled the covers up over my head And said, "Oh please do something with Fred"
He jumped on my bed, went through the covers with his collector claws
Tried to get me, but my alarm went off And then silence
It was a whole new day I thought, "Huh, I wasn't scared of him anyway"
Until I noticed those rips on my bank account sheets
And that was proof that there had been a foreclosure on my street

LETS DO THE SUBPRIME WARP AGAIN!


LETS DO THE SUBPRIME WARP AGAIN!
(THE END OF MORAL HAZARD)
(Lets Do the TIME WARP, Rocky Horror Picture Show)
WilliamBanzai7

It's astounding, markets are fleeting
Greenspan's Madness takes its toll
But listen closely, not for very much longer
We've got to regain control

I remember doing the Subprime Warp
Drinking those moments when
MORAL HAZARD would skip past me and the greed would be calling
Let's do the Subprime Warp again...
Let's do the Subprime Warp again!

It's just a CDO to the left
And then a backstop CDS to the right
With your hands on your FLIPS
You bring those TOXIC TRANCHES in tight
But it's the ALT-A thrust that really drives you insane,
Let's do the Subprime Warp again!

It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me
So you can't see me, no not at all
In another dimension, with fraudulent intention
Well-deluded, I see all
With a bit of a mind flip
You're there in the SHADOW BANKING slip
And nothing can ever be the same
You're spaced out on SECURITIZATION, like you're under sedation
Let's do the Subprime Warp again!
BAILOUT THRILLER RETURNS
(Michael Jackson's Thriller)
WilliamBanzai7

It's Midnight this October night and the street is full of Politicians and Central Bankers Lurking in the Dark
Under The Moonlight, You See A Sight That Almost Stops Your Heart.
You Try To Scream, But Terror Takes The Sound Before You Make It.
Debt Markets Start To Freeze, As Horror Looks You Right Between The Eyes,
Your Paralyzed

You Hear The Door Slam, And Realize There's Nowhere Left To Run
You Feel The Cold Take Hold, And Wonder If You'll See the Mother of All Bear Runs
You Close Your Eyes, And Hope That This Is Just Imagination,
But All The While, You Hear The GOP Pachydermata Creepin' Up Behind
You're Out Of Time

They're Out to Get You, There's Demons Closing In On Every Side.
They Will Possess You, Unless You Change The Number On Your Skype.
Now Is the Time for You and Your Trading partners to huddle Close Together
All Thru The Night, It'll Save You From The Terror On The Reuter Screen,
It'll Make You See:

(narrated by Vincent Price)
Darkness Falls Across The Land, The Asian Trading Day Is Close At Hand.
Bottom Feeders Crawl In Search Of Blood To Foreclose on Your Neighborhood
And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Economic Bust
Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Subprime Hell, And Rot Inside WaMu's Bankrupt Shell.

The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of 700 Billion Bailout Bucks
And Shortselling Ghouls From Every Trading Room Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom
And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Net Worth Starts To Shiver
For No Investing Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Bailout Thriller

'Cause this Is Thriller, Bailout make or break Night
and No-ones Gonna Save You from the Beast about to Strike.
You Know its Thriller, Fed Bailout Thriller Night
You're fighting for Your Monetary Life inside a Killer, Thriller.

Thriller, Fed Bailout Thriller Night
'Cause I can thrill you More Than Any Market Ghoul Could ever try. (Thriller, Bailout Night)
So Let Me Hold You Tight And Share A Killer, Chiller, Fiscal Massacre
Thriller Here Tonight.

'Cause this Is Thriller ,Fed Bailout Thriller night
It Will Thrill You More Than Any Ghoul Could ever dare try
Any Ghoul could ever Dare Try

(Daddy, can I be a Banker for Halloween? No deary...its too scary! Be something funny
like the McCain campaign )

http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/
The Magic Words We Will Never Hear
WilliamBanzai7

Fellow Americans,

As you have heard by separate announcement,
the United States Treasury Department today announced
that it is extending an emergency line of credit in the
amount of _____________ Billion US Dollars to ACME Bank.
In addition, it was announced that the
Treasury Department by means of the recently
enacted "TARP" legislation, will be injecting an additional
____________ Billion dollars in the form of fresh equity
capital.

The purpose of this statement is not to provide
the details of these matters which are covered
elsewhere. Rather, we the management and employees
of ACME Bank want to extend our sincerest
thanks and appreciation to the American taxpayers for
providing this financial lifeline to our company at
a time of dire need.

Although the recent events in the financial
markets are unprecedented, we take full
responsibility for the difficult position we
find ourselves in. We also want you to know
that we recognize the hardship being caused
by this crisis to each and every one of you. Many
of the activities recently engaged in by ACME
have contributed to this crisis. We a sincerely apologize
to each and everyone of you in this regard.

As a Company we pledge to
do everything in our power to redeem
the trust and generosity you have extended us.
These are truly our
most valued assets.

Further, we pledge that from this moment on, we
will work 24/7 to rebuild ACME for the
good of the United States of America as well as our
stakeholders.

We look forward to your continued support.

God Bless You All and God Bless America


ACME BANK

KING OF GEEK MODE


KING OF GEEK MODE
(King of the Road)
WilliamBanzai7

Traders who just invent
Rules without common sense.
No phones, or blind fool bets
Ain't got no trading sense
Ah, but..two hours of crunchin in the data room
Buys an eight million dollar four bedroom
I'm a man of means by standard means
King of Geek Mode.

Black box, midnight brain
Innovative stat trades, just insane.
Old worn out suits and shoes,
Don't pay no heed to financial news,
I smoke Cuban stogies and make garbled sounds
Short sell, but not too much all around
I'm a man of standard means by no means
King of Geek Mode.

I know every trader quant from here to Maine
All of their children, and all of their names
And every printout in every town
And every black box that ain't locked
When no one's around.

I sing,
Traders who just invent
Rules without common sense
No phone, or blind fool bets
I ain't got no trading sense
Ah, but, two hours of crunchin in the data room
Buys an eight million dollar four bed room
I'm a man of means by standard means
King of Geek Mode.
MCSHAME'S CAMPAIGN IS STARTING TO DROWN
(Santa Claus is Coming to Town)
WilliamBanzai7

Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
Those polls don't lie
McShames campaign is starting to drown!

He's made his dirty trick list,
Checking it twice,
Gonna find out he's naughtier than nice.
McShame's campaign is starting to drown!

He'll slime you when you're sleeping,
He'll use that old muck rake.
He knows his style is bad not good,
Don't be fooled for goodness sake!

Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
Those polls don't lie
McShames's campaign is starting to drown!

Friday, October 10, 2008

PARTY LIKE ITS 1929
(melody 1999, Prince)
The artist: WilliamBanzai7

I was dreamin' when I wrote this
Forgive me if it goes astray
But when I woke up this mornin'
Coulda sworn it was Wall Street judgment day
The S&P was purple and the DOW was gray,
there were traders runnin' everywhere
Tryin' to run from the destruction,
U know I didn't even care

CHORUS
say say Dow heads down to zero Wall Street party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1929

I was dreamin' when I wrote this
So sue me if I go to fast
But Wall Street is just a party, and parties weren't meant to last
Paper losses is all around us, my mind says prepare to fight
So if I gotta die I'm gonna watch Cramer tonight

CHORUS
say say Dow heads down to zero--Wall Street party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1929


intro 2x
Lemme tell ya somethin'
If U didn't come to party,
don't bother knockin' on Paulsons's bailout door
It's burning a hole in his pocket,
and baby he's ready to ask for more
Yeah, everybody's got an unhedged bomb,
we could all die any day
But before I'll let that happen,
I'll dance my investment banking life away

Oh, they say
say subprime securitization party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1929
say say DOW heads down to zero party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1929

we gonna, oww

1929
Dont ya wanna go 1929
Dont ya wanna go 1929
Dont ya wanna go 1929
SUBTERRANEAN DOW JONES BLUES
(to Subterranean Homesick Blues, Bob Dylan)
WilliamBanzai7

Johnny's in the basement
Trading on the internet
Out on the pavement
Thinking about the government
The banker in the trench coat
Kicked out, laid off
Says he's got a bad cough
And wants his mortgage paid off
Look out kid
It's that bad trade you did
God knows when
But you're doin' it again
You better duck down the alley way
Lookin' for a new scam
The man in the red cap
With the the big bailout pen
100 Billion dollar bills
You gotta find some new thrills

Big Mack's got a big position to foot
Morgan's full of CDS soot
Talkin' that Lehman put
All of us on same bus but
The markets tanked anyway
Mack says that many say
We can go bust anyday
Orders in from Ebay
Look out kid
Don't matter what you did
Walk on your winged tip toes
Don't try "No Doz"
Better stay away from those
Carry round a financial fire hose
Hard to keep a clean nose
Watch the men in plain clothes
You don't need a weather map
To know which way your stock goes

Get sick, get well
Hang around a red ink well
Closing bell, hard to tell
If anything their goin' to sell
Try hard, get tarred
Get back, go to jail
Get enjoined, jump bail
Join a hedge fund, if you fail
Look out kid
You're gonna get hit
But losers, cheaters
Crooked subprime CDO dealers
Hang around with 500 dollar Chelsea strippers
Sitting in the toxic asset whirlpool
Lookin' for a new fool
Don't follow market leaders
Watch the Federal debt meter

Ah get burned, keep warm
Shorts dance, lose your pants
Get dressed, sell distressed
Try to be a new success
Please buy, don't sell
Its a steal, need a lift
Twenty years of Wall Street hell
And they put you on a burger shift
Look out kid
Try to keep it all hid
Better jump through a loophole
Light yourself a roman candle
Don't get caught wearing Greek sandals
Try to avoid the market scandals
Don't wanna be a Wall Street bum
You better chew some new gum
The Fed pump don't work
Cause the vandals stole the handles

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

IT WASNT ME


Shaggy - It Wasn't Me
Uploaded by Shaggy. - Watch more music videos, in HD!
"It Wasn't Me"--AIG
(Ricardo Ducent)
WilliamBanzai7

(Yo', man) Yo'
(Open up, man) What do you want, man?
(My shareholders just caught me) You let them catch you?
(I don't know how I let this happen) With who?
(The financial products unit, you know) Man
(I don't know what to do) Say it wasn't you
(Alright)

PW Coopers came in and caught us red-handed
Trying to hide our subprime surprises next door
Picture this, our books were butt naked, lying on the boardroom floor

How could I forget that AIG
Is a public company
All this time they were standing there
They never took their eyes off me

But now how you can grant the FEDs access to your boardroom
Examiners and witnesses while you cling to your pillow
You better watch your backs before they turn into CEO killers
Best for you and the situation not to call the bean counters
To be a true player you have to know how to play
If they say a night, convince them say a day
Never admit to a word when they say makes a claim
And you tell them in a babble, no way!

But they caught us running up the bonus tab (It wasn't me)
Saw us selling shifty CDS paper so we could collect fast fees (It wasn't me)
Caught us pretending everything was OK while we hid massive liabilities (It wasn't me)
Even caught us in the St Regis SPA (It wasn't me)

They saw the red marks in our CDO books (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that we told the analysts (It wasn't me)
Heard the screams get louder (It wasn't me)
Paulsen waited until it was almost over

Hank came in and caught us red-handed
Trying to push our subprime mess next door
Picture this, our books were butt naked, laying on the boardroom floor

We had tried to keep Congressman Waxman
From what he was about to see
Why should he believe me
When I told him it wasn't me

Monday, October 6, 2008

THE FULD ON CAPITAL HILL
(to the Fool on the Hill, the Beatles)
WilliamBanzai7

Day after last Sunday,
Alone on Capital Hill,
The man with the foolish Wall Street grin is keeping perfectly still
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see that he's just a fool,
And he never gives an honest answer,

But that fool Fuld on the Hill,
Sees the DOW going down,
And the eyes in his head,
See the world of finance spinning 'round.

Well on the way,
Head in a cloud,
The man of a 10,000 unemployed bankers talking perfectly loud
But nobody cares to hear him,
Or the sound he appears to make,
And he never seems to notice,

But that fool Fuld on the Hill,
Sees the DOW going down,
And the eyes in his head,
See the world of finance spinning 'round.

And nobody seems to like him,
They can tell what he wants to do,
And he never shows his feelings,
He sent Lehman down the tubes

But the Fuld on the hill,
Sees the Dow going down,
And the eyes in his head,
See the world of finance spinning 'round.