NIGHTMARE FORECLOSURE ON MY STREET
(Nightmare on My Street, Will Smith)
WilliamBanzai7

Now I have a story that I'd like to tell
About this banker you all know he had me scared as hell
He comes to me at night after I crawl into bed
He's burnt up like a weenie and his name is Freddie Debts
He wears the same suit and wingtips every single day
And even if it's hot outside he wears it anyway
He's home when I'm awake but he shows up when I sleep
I can't believe that there's a foreclosure goin down on my street
It was a Saturday evening if I remember it right
And we had just gotten back from the ATM last night
So the gang and I thought that it would be groovy
If we summoned up the posse and done rushed the movie
Then we dipped to the theater set to ill buggin cold havin a ball
Somethin about Wall Street was the movie we saw
The way it started was decent you know nuthin real fancy
About these homeboy's from Freddie and this dude Bernanke
But word when it was over I said yo that was def
And everything seemed all right when we left
But when I got home and laid down to sleep
That began the foreclosures, but on my street
It was burning in my piggy bank like an oven
My bed soaked with sweat And man I was bugging
I checked the clock and it stopped at 4:00 AM
The markets had melted it was so darn hot And I was thirsty
I wanted something cool to quench my thirst
I thought to myself yo this DOW close was the worst
But when I got downstairs I noticed something was wrong
I was home all alone but CNBC was on
I thought nothin off it as I grabbed the remote
I pushed the power button and then I almost choked
When I heard this awful voice coming from behind It said,"You missed a payment...prepare to die!!"
Man, I ain't even wait to see who it was Broke inside my drawers and screamed, "So long, cuz"
Got halfway up the block I calmed down and stopped screaming Then thought, "Oh, I get it, I must be dreaming"
I strolled back home with a grin on my grill I think that since this is a dream I might as well get ill
I walked in the house, the BSD
But Freddie Debt killed all that noise real quick
he grabbed me by my neck and said "Here's what we'll do
We gotta lotta work here, me and you
The Subprime debts of your friends you and I will claim
You've got the body and I've got the quantitative brain"
I said, "Yo Freddie I think you got me all wrong I ain't partners with nobody with positions that long
Look, I'll be honest man, this team won't work The girls won't be on you, Fred, your bank is all burnt"
Freddie got mad and his head started steaming
But I thought what the hell im only dreamin
I said please leave Fred so I can get some sleep
But give me a call maybe we'll hang out next week
I patted him on the shoulder, said "thanks for stopping by"
then I opened up the door and said "take care guy"
he got mad, drew back his arm, and accelerated my repayment date
I laughed at first, then thought, "hold up, that hurt" It wasn't a dream, man, this guy was for real
I said, "Freddy, uh, pal, there's been an awful mistake here"
No further words and then I darted upstairs
Crashed through my door then jumped on my bed
Pulled the covers up over my head And said, "Oh please do something with Fred"
He jumped on my bed, went through the covers with his collector claws
Tried to get me, but my alarm went off And then silence
It was a whole new day I thought, "Huh, I wasn't scared of him anyway"
Until I noticed those rips on my bank account sheets
And that was proof that there had been a foreclosure on my street