Wednesday, May 13, 2009

THE GRUMPY OLD FAT CAT

The Old Grumpy Fat Cat
(The Old Gumbie Cat, Old Possums Book of Practical Cats, TS Elliot)
WilliamBanzai7s Book of Wall Street Fat Cats

I have a Grumpy Fat Cat in mind, his name is Connect-the-Dots;
His coat is of the shabby kind, with wide chalk stripes and bordeaux spots.
All day she sits in his worn chair or on the Federal Hall steps or at the Battery:
He sits and sits and sits and sits - and that's what makes a Grumpy Fat Cat!

But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
Then the Grumpy Fat Cat's work is but hardly begun.
And when all the senior MD's are in bed and asleep,
He slips down the stairs to see the trading room geeks.
He is deeply concerned with the ways of the junior geek mice -
Their behaviour's too good and their ethics too nice;
So when he has got them lined up on the matting,
He teaches them front running, churning and insider tit for tatting.

I have a Grumpy Fat Cat in mind, his name is Connect-the-Dots;
His equal would be hard to find, he likes the warm and sunny bull market spots.
All day he sits beside the reuters screen or in the Wall Street sun:
He sits and sits and sits and sits - and that's what makes a Grumpy Fat Cat!

But when the trading day's hustle and bustle is done,
Then the Grumpy Cat's work is but hardly begun.
As he finds that the geek mice will not ever keep quiet,
He is sure it is due to their irregular high finance diet
And believing that nothing is done without trying,
He sets straight to work with them baking and frying, securitized dung and toxic asset surprises.
He makes them a synthetic tranched CDO cake of stale subprime dough and S&P sleaze,
And a beautiful fry of synthetic CDS bacon and toxic asset cheese.

I have a Grumpy Fat Cat in mind, his name is Connect-the Dots;
The curtain-cord he likes to wind, and tie it into hanging-nooses.
He sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's lucite smooth and flat:
He sits and sits and sits and sits - and that's what makes a grumpy Fat Cat!

But when the trading day's hustle and bustle is done,
Then the Grumpy Fat Cat's work is but hardly begun.
He thinks that the backroom cockroaches just need employment,
So he's formed, from that lot of disorderly louts,
A troop of well-disciplined Ponzi scheming boy-scouts,
With a purpose in life and a dire deed to do -
And he's even created a Banker Tattoo.

So for Old Grumpy Fat Cats let us now give three cheers -
On whom well-run toxic shlock houses depend, it appears.

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