RUM DUM TRADER FAT CAT

THE RUM DUMB TRADER
(Run Tum Tiger, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats, TS Elliot)
WilliamBanzai7's Book of Wall Street Fat Cats

The Rum Dumb Trader is a greedy Fat Cat:
If you offer him $tock he would rather have bond$.
If you put him in a fund he would much prefer a bank,
If you put him in a bank then he'd rather be in a boutique.
If you $et him on a mouse call then he only want$ a rat put,
If you $et him on a rat call then he'd rather chase a mouse put.
Yes the Rum Dumb Trader is a greedy Fat Cat -
And there isn't any call for me to $hout it:
For he will do
As he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!

The Rum Dumb Trader is too incorrigible to ignore:
When you let him be Mr. In$ide, then he wants to be Mr. Out$ide;
He's always on the wrong $ide of every revolving door,
And as $oon as he's in, then he'd like to get out.
He likes to lie on the trading room floor,
But he makes such a fu$$ if he can't get more $!.
Yes the Rum Dumb Trader is a greedy Fat Cat -
And there isn't any call for you to doubt it:
For he will do
As he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!

The Rum Dumb Trader is a curious beast:
His disobliging ways are a matter of trader habit.
If you offer him easy take home fi$h then he always wants a bonus fea$t;
When there isn't any easy fish then he won't eat investor rabbit.
If you offer him $tock option cream then he $niffs and $neers,
For he only likes what $ he can take home for him$elf;
So you'll catch him in it right up to the ears,
If you put it ($) away on the rainy day $helf.
The Rum Dumb Trader is conceited and all knowing,
The Rum Dumb trader doesn't care for a hug or a $nuggle;
But he'll leap on your back no matter what your undergoing,
For there's nothing he enjoys like a horrible $$$ muddle.
Yes the Rum Dumb Trader is a Curious Fat Cat -
And there isn't any call for me to $pout it:
For he will do
As he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!