Tuesday, March 31, 2009

WHO KILLED BIG AUTO?



WHO KILLED BIG AUTO
(Who Killed Davey Moore?, Bob Dylan)
WilliamBanzai7 Blog

Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62daicHQ9as

Who killed the BIG AUTO?,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not I," says the FECKLESS MOTOWN CEO ,
"Don't point your finger at me.
I could've retooled it to much better CAFE rate
An' maybe kept it from this fate,
But the customers and dealers would've booed, I'm sure,
At not gettin' their money's worth.
It's too bad it had to go,
But there was a pressure on me too, you know.
It wasn't me that made it fall.
No, you can't blame me at all."

Who killed BIG AUTO ,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not us," says the URBAN SUV WARRIOR CROWD,
Whose off road dreams created one big greenhouse gas cloud.
"It's too bad it died alright
But we just love that high line of sight.
We didn't mean for it to meet this death,
We just wanted a safe ride instead,
There ain't nothing wrong in that.
It wasn't us that made it fall.
No, you can't blame us at all."

Who killed BIG AUTO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not we," says the politician,
Puffing on a BIG OIL private label cigar.
"It's hard to say, it's hard to tell,
I always thought that BIG AUTO was well.
It's too bad for Detroit City its dead,
But if it was sick, they should've said.
It wasn't me that made it fall.
No, you can't blame me at all."

Who killed BIG AUTO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not we," say the GAMBLING SHAREHOLDERS and BONDHOLDERS,
With their proxies and coupons still in their hands.
"It wasn't us that knocked it down,
We always thought the Directors would do what needed to be done.
We didn't commit no ugly sin,
Anyway, we put money on it to win.
It wasn't us that made it fall.
No, you can't blame us at all."

Who killed the BIG AUTO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not me," says the UAW NEGOTIATOR,
Surfing for member benefits like a used lemon trader,
Sayin', "Unions ain't to blame,
There's always legacy costs built in the automotive game."
Sayin', "Big labor is here to stay,
It's just the good old American way.
It wasn't me that made him fall.
No, you can't blame me at all."

Who killed BIG AUTO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not we," say the JAPANESE whose well managed fists
Laid it low in a cloud of hybrids and "kaizen" mist,
Who came here after the Second World War
Where efficient design was shown Motown's back door.
"We hit em, we hit em, yes, it's true,
But that's what global competition is meant to do.
Don't say 'murder,' don't say 'kill.'
It was engineering destiny, it was divine will."

Who killed the BIG AUTO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

Monday, March 30, 2009

MEET THE FLINT SHMO



MEET THE FLINT SHMO (ODE TO RICK)
(Flintstones)
WilliamBanzai7

Flint Shmo. Meet the Flint Shmo.
He's a page out of modern bailout history.
Automotive bedrock,
Now he's driven them to insolvency.

Let's ride in that gas guzzling HUMVEE.
Through the courtesy of Wagoneer and Lutz's feet.

When you're with the Flint Shmo
you'll have a yabba dabba union time.
A dab bondholder time.
You'll have yet another bailout crime!

ONE LAST CHANCE

ONE LAST CHANCE (BIG AUTO)
(One Last Chance, James Morrison)
WilliamBanzai7



In the automotive world we don't mean much to anyone
We've lost our way can't go back anymore
Once we had everything now it's gone
Don't tell us again coz we've heard it all before

Some people say that we're not worth it
We've made mistakes but nobody's perfect
Guess we'll give it a try

We've got one last chance to get ourselves together
We can't lose billions no more, it's now or never and we try to remember who we used to be
We've got one last chance to get ourselves together

The time has come for us to change again
We can't carry on like this, we face extinction - don't say that you have given up on us
Just give us the time please to shoot our shareholders, unions and bondholders in the head

We don't wanna be misunderstood
We've got to take this chance and make it into something good

THE ANSWER IS THROW EM IN THE BIN



THE ANSWER IS THROW EM IN THE BIN (Ode to Big Auto)
(Blowing in the Wind, Bob Dylan)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ced8o50G9kg

How many times must Big Auto beg for cash
Before you tell them to scram?
Yes, n how many bailout bucks must get squandered and trashed
Before they seep into the Arabian sand?
Yes, n how many gas hogs should we allow to drive by
Before theyre forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is throw em in the bin,
The answer is throw em in the bin.

How many times must the bondholders cry
Before we explode their bailout pie in the sky?
Yes, n how many inches must John Dingell's nose grow
Before he can admit its a huge sham?
Yes, n how many Prius' and Lexus' must we buy
Before we admit MOTOWN died long ago?
The answer, my friend, is throw em in the bin,
The answer is throw em in the bin.

How many years can Detroit's unionized brontosaurs persist
Before their washed to the sea?
Yes, n how many years can General Motors clunkers exist
After all they're rusty and cheap.
Yes, n how many times can Joe Consumer turn his head,
Pretending he just doesnt see?
The answer, my friend, is throw em in the bin,
The answer is throw em in the bin.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

SIGN OF THE TIMES

The Quiet Coup

Here is a juicy morsel from "The Quiet Coup", a chilling indictment of our dysfunctional financial system and the lame attempts to fix it.

"To ensure systematic bank breakup, and to prevent the eventual reemergence of dangerous behemoths, we also need to overhaul our antitrust legislation. Laws put in place more than 100 years ago to combat industrial monopolies were not designed to address the problem we now face. The problem in the financial sector today is not that a given firm might have enough market share to influence prices; it is that one firm or a small set of interconnected firms, by failing, can bring down the economy."

The link is in Banzai7 Whats Hot.

WHATS A MATTA AIU?



NEW YORK, (Reuters) - Workmen rolled up their sleeves at American International Group Inc (AIG.N) this weekend to take down the most prominent sign at the downtown Manhattan offices of the embattled insurer that has become the scorn of America.

A spokesman said the company had decided to replace the large AIG sign -- outside the entrance to its property-casualty offices -- as part of its plan to change that operation's name to AIU Holdings Ltd.

The move is designed to "distinguish these well-capitalized businesses from AIG," said a second spokesman.

Fooled you again!



AIU SHADDUP YOU FACE!
(Shaddup You Face, Joe Dolce)
William a Banzai7

'Allo, I'm-Mr AIG, I got-a something special-a for you, ready
Uno, duo, tre, quatro
When I was a good a boy, just about the eighth-a grade
Mamma used to say always play it safe
With the bad-a boys, always trade-a straight game
Mr AIG going to break a all a da financial rules

Boy, it make-a me sick, all the t'ing I gotta do
I can't-a get-a no kicks, always got to follow a stupid financial rules
Boy, it make-a me sick, just to make-a lousy insurance bucks
Got to feel-a like a fool and-a mama used to say all-a time

What's-a matter A I U Hey! Gotta no respect
What-a you t'ink you do? Why you look-a so sad
It's-a just so bad, it's-a stupid-a disgrace
Ah, shaddap-a you face

That's-a my mama, I can remember
Big accordion solo
Ah! Play dat again, Really nice, really nice

Soon-a come-a day, gonna be a big-a Wall Street dick
Den make-a CNBC TV shows and-a movies, dats the trick
Get-a myself a new town car, but still I be an insurance clown
I don't want-a to change a t'ing, still a-dance and a-sing that Wall Street thing
I t'ink about-a mama, she used to say

What's a matter A I U Hey! Gotta no respect
What-a you t'ink you do Why you look-a so sad
It's-just so bad, it's-a stupid-a disgrace
Ah, shaddap-a you face

Mama, she said it all-a da time
What's-a matter A I U Hey Gotta no respect
What-a you t'ink you do Why you look-a so sad
It's-a just so bad, it's-a stupida-a disgrace
Ah, shaddap-a you face
That s-a my mama

Hello, everybody!
'At's out-a dere in-a radio and-a TV land
Did you know I made a dumb CDS trade-on a Wall Street
Shaddap-a you face
I sing-a dis-a song, all-a my fans applaud
Dey clap-a da hands, dat-a make me feel-a so good
You ought to learn-a dis-a song, it's-a real-a simple
See, I sing: what's-a matter you You sing Hey
Den I sing-a da rest and den at de end, we can all-a sing:
Ah, Shaddap-a you face! O.k., let's-a try it, really big

Uno, duo, tre, quatro
What's-a matter A I U Hey Gotta no respect Hey
What-a you t'ink you Hey do Why you look-a so sad Hey
It's-a just so bad Hey it's-a stupida-disgrace
Ah, shaddap-a you face
OK one more-a time for mama
What's-a matter A I U Hey Gotta no respect Hey
What-a you t'ink you Hey do Why you look-a so sad Hey
It's-a just so so bad Hey it's-a stupida-disgrace
Ah, shaddap-a you face

I DON'T LIKE BAILOUT MONDAYS



I DON'T LIKE BAILOUT MONDAYS
(I Don't Like Mondays, Boomtown Rats)
WilliamBanzai7

The securitization chip inside is dead
Got switched to subprime overload
And nobody’s gonna go to MBA school today
Gotta make them all stay at home
And daddy doesn’t understand it
He always said Wall Street was good as gold
And he can see theres no bonus season
'Cos there are no good reasons
What reason do you need to be show-ow-ow-ow-own?

Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot the whole Wall Street model down

The Reuters screen is kept so clean
And it cries to the trading world
And mother feels so shocked
Father’s world is rocked
And their thoughts turn to their own little girl
MBA dreams ain’t that peachy keen
Now that ain’t so neat to admit defeat
They can see no reasons
'Cos there are no reasons
What reasons do you need?
Oh Oh Oh Oh

Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot
The whole Wall Street model down, down, down, shoot it all down

And all the playing's stopped in the Wall Street playground now
She just wants to play with the toys a while
And MBA school's out early and soon we'll be learning
And the lesson today is how not to fly high
And then the bullhorn crackles
And the captain tackles
(With the problems of the how's and why's)
And he can see no reasons
'Cos there are no reasons
What reason do you need to cry, cry?
Oh Oh Oh

Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like
I don’t like (Tell me why)
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like
I don’t like (Tell me why)
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don't like Bailout Mondays
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot the whole Wall Street model down

Lookin Like Money in da House

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LOOK LIKE MONEY (Wall Street Version)
(Look Like Money, Yung Ralph)
Young WilliamBanzai7

Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money
Everywhere I go and everyway I be
I be talkin like I'm Cramer on tha CNBC
Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money
Pull up at tha Club 21
Man what a shmo
Fresh outfit in my Lobb's and Saville Ro
Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money

[Verse 1:]
Man my traders got their hedge on tha beat
Bail me 16 billion I'll leave a stain on tha street
My wallets so swoll up it needs slim fast
Got weight Neva been shot, I'm a banksta badass
I walk around with subprime crack in my bag
One call I can to da Fed gets rid of it real fast
Man I came up quick fo tha TARP
Got a whole lotta roll thanks to all them AIG saps
Now look at my ride u can tells thats money
And I look walk talk even smell like money
I stay down
Make quick derivative flips
No gas when I talk about OTC dips
If ya talkin dollars
Then im down with it
Like low let's get get get it
If I get a ticket it's all on me
Clevanaire jumbaroda Chelsey hoes on me

[Hook:]
Everywhere I go and everyway I be
I talk like I'm Cramer on tha CNBC
Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money
Pull up at tha Club 21
Man what a shmo
Fresh outfit in my Lobb's and Saville Ro
Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money

[Verse 2:]
A hater brogue to small for my feet
Them DC pols can't pi$$ what I drank they can't $hit what I eat
With my paypa moves known all ova tha Street
Subprime ride rims way older then me
This for them Main Streeters that be hatin on me
Walkin round holdin nuts conversation on me
About yo bitchin you can all go trout fishin
Treat em like school give a early dismissal
Big banksta No 1's and a trading pistol
Smoke CDO thrax roll it over in king size tranches
Check my swag I got faux AAA flavor
Call me a quantitative bangsta cause I got that crap paypa!

[Hook:]
Everywhere I go and everyway I be
I talk like I'm Cramer on tha CNBC
Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money
Pull up at tha Club 21
Man what a shmo
Fresh outfit in my Lob's and Saville Ro
Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money

Like money
Like money
Like money
Cause I look like money
Like money
Like money
Like money
Cause I look like money

E Pluribus Frog



BANZAI7 RESEARCH INSTITUTE: Banzai7 researchers have concluded that the subliminal effects of early morning cartoons may provide one explanation for the behavior of Wall Street CEOs.

FREE MARKET BALONEY

REGULATORY REVOLUTION



REGULATORY REVOLUTION
(Revolution, John Lennon, The Beatles)
WilliamBanzai7

Regulatory Revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the banking world
You tell me that it's toxic asset pollution
Well, you know
We all want to change the banking world
But when you talk about economic destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right

You say Geithner's got a real solution
Well, you know
We'd all love to see the plan
You ask taxpayers for a contribution
Well, you know
We're just bailing everything we can
But when you want money
for bankers that that bait n steal
All I can tell is brother you better change the deal
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right
Ah

ah, ah, ah, ah, ah...

You say you'll stop the financial contagion
Well, you know
We all want to kill it dead
You tell me it's just systemic institutions
Well, you know
You better clear your free market head instead
And if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Dow
You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right
all right, all right, all right
all right, all right, all right

Thursday, March 26, 2009

THE COMING DISASTER IN THE DERIVATIVES MARKET

This is a piece that was written in November 2005. Wow, talk about I told you so.

http://www.safehaven.com/article-4096.htm

UNITED STATES TREASURY REGULATORY REFORM FACT SHEET

Reg Reform Fact Sheet/March 2009 Reg Reform Fact Sheet/March 2009 williambanzai7

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I JUST WROTE AIG AN OP-ED LETTER


I JUST WROTE AIG AN OP-ED LETTER
(the Letter, Joe Cocker)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoW81x4j7ow

Gimme a minute to write a $750,000 complaint
Its just a matter of time before I'll find a new game
Fast and easy days are gone, I'm a-goin' home
Hey baby, I just wrote AIG an OP-ED letter

I don't care how much money I get to keep in the end
Got to go back to my savings once again
Fast and easy days are gone, I'm a-goin' home
Hey baby, I just-a wrote AIG an OP-ED letter

Well, I wrote them a letter
Said I couldn't live without my bonus no more
Listen mister, can't you see I can't just give it back
To charity maybe, don't cha wanna hear more?
Anyway, yeah!

Gimme a minute to write a $750,000 complaint
Its just a matter of time before I'll find a new game
Fast and easy days are gone, I'm a-goin' home
Hey baby, I just wrote AIG an OP-ED letter

Well, I wrote them a letter
Said they would have to live without me, ohhhh no!
Listen mister, can't you see I can't just give it back
To charity maybe, don't cha wanna hear more?
Anyway, yeah!

Gimme a minute to write a self servng complaint
Its just a matter of time before I'll find a new game
Fast and easy days are gone, I'm a-goin' home
Hey baby, I just wrote AIG an OP-ED letter
Yours truly,

Jake (Cry me a River)DeSantis
AIG Financial Products

THIS BAILOUT'S MADE BY BEN AND ME

THE BAILOUT'S MADE BY BEN AND ME
(This Land is Your Land, Woody Guthrie)
WilliamBanzai7

This Bailout's your's Ben
This Bailout's mine Ben
From California to the New York island;
From the red wood forest to the Gulf Stream waters
This Bailout's made for you by Ben and me.

As I was walking that faux gold highway,
I saw before me a white collar crimewave:
I saw below me Wall Street's tin pan alley:
This bailouts made for you by Ben and me.

I've roamed and rambled and followed my foot steps
To the land of the endless subprime desert;
And from inside me an economic voice was warning:
This bailout was made for you by Ben and me.

Before the sun was shining, and the Dow was smokin,
Now the markets wavering and dark clouds keep rolling,
As the opaque fog was lifting a voice was chanting:
This bailout was made for you by Ben and me.

As I went walking I saw a sign there
And on the sign it said "No Moral Hazard"
But on the other side it didn't say nothing,
That sign was made for you by Ben and me.

In the shadow of AIG I saw the people,
By Goldman headquarters I seen the people;
As they stood there angry, I stood there asking
Is this bailout made for you by Ben and me?

Nobody living can ever stop me,
As I go shopping for a recovery ;
Nobody living can ever make me turn back
This bailout is made for you by Ben and me.

Monday, March 23, 2009

GEITHNER'S PUBLIC PRIVATE TOXIC ASSET TANK!



GEITHNER'S PUBLIC PRIVATE TOXIC ASSET TANK
(Fidelity Fiduciary Bank, Mary Poppins)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt9JpYRulSk

Father, these are private equity investors....

If you invest your tuppence
Wisely in Geithner's public/private toxic asset tank
Safe and sound?
Soon that tuppence,
Safely invested in the toxic asset tank,
Might compound!

And you'll achieve that sense of conquest
As the Fed's non-recourse loans expand
In the hands of the private asset managers
Who invest as propriety demands

You see, you'll be part of
McMansions in the Nevada desert
Vacant subdivisons from Detroit to Fresno
Fleets of repossessed trailer parks
Majestic negative-amortizing Miami coops
Plantations of ripening securitised sub-prime....

All from tuppence, prudently
Fruitfully, frugally invested
In the, to be specific,
Geithner's Federal
Financial Stability
Public Private
Toxic Asset Tank!

Now,
When you co-invest your tuppence in the Feds toxic asset tank
Soon you'll see
That it blooms into equity returns of a generous amount
Semiannually
And you'll achieve that sense of stature
As your NAV expands
To the high financial strata
That established private equity now commands

You can indirectly purchase first and second home equity loans
Think of the foreclosures!
Mortgages! CLOs! CDOs, synthetic CDOs!
Bankruptcies! Debtor sales!

Opportunities!
All manner of public/private enterprise!
Auctioned ALT A! Subprime!
Collateralized liar loans! Securitized no doc SPVs!
Distressed offshore SIVs! Amalgamations! Bad banks!

You see,
Tuppence, patiently, cautiously trustingly invested
In the, to be specific,
Tim Geithner's
Federal Financial Stability
Public Private
Toxic Asset Tank!

Welcome to our joyful family of private investors!!!!!!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

YES WE HAVE SUBPRIME BANANAS



YES WE HAVE SUBPRIME BANANAS
(Yes We Have No Bananas)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1Hc80NpL4M

There's a fruit store on our street
It's run by Geithner the Geek.
And he keeps good things to eat
But you should hear him speak!
When you ask him anything,
he never answers "no".
He just "yes"es you to death,
and as he takes your dough
He tells you "Yes, we have subprime bananas
We have-a toxic subprime bananas today.
We've securitised string beans, and synthetic Cabbages, and derivative scallions,
And all sorts of rotten asset backed fruit and say
We have an old fashioned leveraged to-mah-to
A long hedged po-tah-to
And yes, we have subprime bananas.
We have toxic subprime bananas today."

Business got so good for him that he wrote home today,
"Send me Al and Ben and Hank;
I need help right away."
When he got them in the store,
there was fun, you bet.
Someone asked for Wall Street "laughing gas"
and then the whole quartet answered
"Yes, we have subprime bananas
We have subprime bananas today.
Just try those CITI coconuts.
Those Merrill walnuts and AIG doughnuts
There ain't many Wall Street nut jobs like they.
We'll sell you two kinds of toxic asset red herrings,
bulls&#t brown, and interest-bearing.
And yes, we have subprime bananas
We have toxic subprime bananas today."

FINANCIAL POLLUTION



FINANCIAL POLLUTION
(Pollution, Tom Lehrer)
WilliamBanzai7

Time was when an American about to invest abroad would be warned by his friends to be wary of emerging market fraud. But times have changed and now a foreigner coming to this country might be offered the following advice.

If you visit New York city,
You will find it very pretty.
Just two things of which you must beware:
Don't go near Goldman Sachs and don't buy AIG shares.

Financial pollution,
They got asset backed sewage and sludge.
Turn on your trading screen and see long and short running crud.

See the halibuts and the sturgeons
Being wiped out by fraudulent urgins.
Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly,
But they won't last long with those toxic schlock guys.

Financial pollution,
You can use the latest quantitative toothpaste,
And then rinse your retirement account with industrial subprime waste.

Just go out for a breath of transparent air,
And you'll be ready for financial Medicare.
Wall Street investing is really quite a thrill.
If the street hoods don't get you, those Goldman bankers will.

Financial pollution,
Wear a gas mask and a veil.
Then you can invest, in another toxic asset sale.

Lots of things there that really stink,
But stay away from Goldman's synthetic CDO sink.
Throw out the subprime garbage and I've got a hunch,
That the folks from IKB will eat it for lunch.

So go to the city, see the crazy people there.
Like lambs to the slaughter,
They're drinking quantitative  ponzi water
And breathing Wall Street hot air.

Good Fellas

MARCH MADOFF



Seen on Buddy's Blog

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED READ: The Big Takeover/Rolling Stone

Excerpts:

So it's time to admit it: We're fools, protagonists in a kind of gruesome comedy about the marriage of greed and stupidity. And the worst part about it is that we're still in denial — we still think this is some kind of unfortunate accident, not something that was created by the group of psychopaths on Wall Street whom we allowed to gang-rape the American Dream.

The mistake most people make in looking at the financial crisis is thinking of it in terms of money, a habit that might lead you to look at the unfolding mess as a huge bonus-killing downer for the Wall Street class. But if you look at it in purely Machiavellian terms, what you see is a colossal power grab that threatens to turn the federal government into a kind of giant Enron — a huge, impenetrable black box filled with self-dealing insiders whose scheme is the securing of individual profits at the expense of an ocean of unwitting involuntary shareholders, previously known as taxpayers.

The best way to understand the financial crisis is to understand the meltdown at AIG. AIG is what happens when short, bald managers of otherwise boring financial bureaucracies start seeing Brad Pitt in the mirror.

The most galling thing about this financial crisis is that so many Wall Street types think they actually deserve not only their huge bonuses and lavish lifestyles but the awesome political power their own mistakes have left them in possession of. When challenged, they talk about how hard they work, the 90-hour weeks, the stress, the failed marriages, the hemorrhoids and gallstones they all get before they hit 40.

"But wait a minute," you say to them. "No one ever asked you to stay up all night eight days a week trying to get filthy rich shorting what's left of the American auto industry or selling $600 billion in toxic, irredeemable mortgages to ex-strippers on work release and Taco Bell clerks. Actually, come to think of it, why are we even giving taxpayer money to you people? Why are we not throwing your ass in jail instead?"

But before you even finish saying that, they're rolling their eyes, because You Don't Get It. These people were never about anything except turning money into money, in order to get more money; valueswise they're on par with crack addicts, or obsessive sexual deviants who burgle homes to steal panties. Yet these are the people in whose hands our entire political future now rests.

Matt Taibbi

Wow, that is what I call taking the gloves off!

See the link in Banzai7's Whats Hot

I'M IN A BAILED OUT STATE OF MIND



BAILED STATE OF MIND
(New York State of Mind, Billy Joel)
BillyBanzai7

Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZh8YjbDiVk&feature=related

Some Wall Street shnooks like make get away
From the neighbourhood b'fore its too late
Hop a flight to Palm Beach
or to Cap d' Antibe
But I'm taking a Greyhound
On the Hudson River Line
I'm in a Bailed Out state of mind

I've seen all the structured finance stars
In their fancy cars and their limousines
Been high on the DOW in the low 14s
But I know that I'm bleeding
And I don't want to waste more time
I'm in a Bailed Out state of mind

It was so easy trading day by day
Out of touch with how ordinary working cats pay their dues
But now I need a little give and take
From the New York Times, The Daily Show too

It comes down to subprime reality
And it's fine with me 'cause I've let it slide
Don't care if it's Ponzi town or on AIG's backside
I don't have any reasons
I've left them all behind
I'm in a Bailed Out state of mind

It was so easy trading day by day
Out of touch with the working man's blues
But now I need a little give and take
The New York Times, The Daily Show too

It comes down to subprime reality
And it's fine with me 'cause I've let it slide
Don't care if we're called Ponzi clowns and Bonus & Clydes
I don't have any reasons
I've left them all behind
I'm in a Bailed Out state of mind

I'm just taking a Greyhound on the Hudson River Line
'Cause I'm in a Bailed Out state of mind

NAUGHTY BAILOUT BONUS SUCK A THUMB






THE STORY OF A NAUGHTY BAILOUT BONUS SUCK A THUMB
(Struwwelpeter, Little Suck A Thumb)
WilliamBanzai7's Subprime Struwwelpeter

One day Obama said "Conrad dear,
I must go out and leave you here.
But mind now, Conrad, what I say,
Don't suck your bailout bonus thumbs while I'm away.
The great taxing tailor Uncle Sam always comes
To bailout boys who suck their bonus thumbs;
And ere they dream what he's about,
He takes his great taxing scissors out,
And cuts their bonus thumbs clean off--and then,
You know, they never grow again."
Obama had scarcely turned his back,
The thumb was in, Alack! Alack!
The door flew open, in he ran,
The great, long, red-legged scissor bearing Uncle Sam.
Oh! you bailout deadbeats, see! Uncle Sam the taxing tailor's come
And caught out little Bailout Bonus Suck a Thumb.
Snip! Snap! Snip! the bailout bonus taxing scissors go;
And Conrad cries out "Oh! Oh! Oh!"
Snip! Snap! Snip! They go so fast,
That both his bonus thumbs are off at last.
Obama comes home: there Conrad stands,
And looks quite sad, and shows his hands;
"Ah!" said Obama, "I said he'd come
To naughty little Bailout Bonus Suck A Thumb."

Saturday, March 21, 2009

TREASURY GEARS UP FOR TOXIC ASSET CLEANUP



The Treasury Department will unveil the next step in its efforts to contain Assets of Evil, announcing that it intends to create a government body, called the Public Investment Corp. ("PIC"), to finance the purchase of as much as $1 trillion in soured loans and toxic assets from ailing banks, according to sources. PIC will be the modern day superfund to remedy the mother of all financial Love Canals.

HOW TO RIG TARP

IRAN'S KHAMENIAC "Show me the money"



BANZANI7 NEWS, a Banzai7 Affiliate--Reporting from Tehran and Beirut -- Iran's most powerful figure today dismissed President Obama's extraordinary Persian New Year gesture, insisting that the U.S. administration's must first explain how he can recover the money he invested with Bernie Madoff.

Supreme leader Ali Khamaniac, who is Iran's highest spiritual, military and political investment adviser, told supporters in his hometown of Mash-up today that "changes in words" won't be enough to convince Iran that the Obama administration is sincere in its efforts to seek restitution for Madoff investors like himself.

LA WILLIAM BANZAI TOXIC TREATS



Be sure to try the new BANZAI7 TOXIC ASSET TIDBITS available only on line: http://www.lawilliamprofessional.be/nl/banzai.html

THE BANZAI7 ORGANIZATION: Working to bring you a better today tomorrow.

CEO'S GUIDE TO EXECUTIVE JETTING





WILLIAM BANZAI7's BAILOUT FINAL FOUR ROUND UP




WILLIAM BANZAI7'S BAILOUT FINAL FOUR ROUND UP

Well its been an exciting season on Wall Street.
We've seen many upsets, we've vicariously experienced the agony
of defeat and we have yet to experience
the thrill of victory.

The season began in March 2008
with the surprise elimination of Bear Stearns & Co. Many attribute that
upset to bumbling coach Jimmy Cayne's preoccupation with tournament bridge.
Later in the season we saw some amazingly risky play, all of
which due to a combination of poor planning and team cockiness
resulted in early eliminations. Lehman was the first to go under the
stewardship of Dick (the "Gorilla") Fuld. Many say the Gorilla underestimated
the resolve of tournament officials, lead by Lead Referee Benny Bernanke, to hold each team accountable for its risky on court behavior. Moreover, Dicks 11th hour plan to import Korean ringers seemed doomed to failure from the start.

Next to go, the Merrill Lynch Bulls. The Bulls made the mistake of a flawed
subprime strategy from the get go. In addition, their preoccupation with big bonus
contracts lead to their eventual demise under coach Johnny Thain. Thain
distracted himself decorating his new office while his players
shot themselves up with derivative steroids. In the end, Thain's team
threw in the cards in an upset victory by Bank America led by coach
Ken "Screwless" Lewis.

The surprise story was AIG. Who would have believed that a team consisting of
derivative trailer trash could bulk itself up on subprime steroids and very nearly
drag all of the other teams to oblivion. In the end AIG fell to Goldman Sachs who
seemed to have the "inside" advantage under the net, despite the chorus of outrage
alleging suspect officiating.

Well here they are are, the Banzai7 Bailout final four round up:

CITIGROUP: CITI is the only team operating with new coaches. Coach Vikram 'Rah Rah'
Pandit is reputedly a technical genius, but he has the odd habit of over-
communicating with his players in written memos. Pandits latest plan has been
to divide his time into a good team and a bad team. Lately he has been
preoccupied remodeling his office. He also likes to send memos summarising team stats.
Hopefully he won't repeat some of the commodious mistakes
made by Johnny Thain.

BAC: BAC under the leadership of coach Ken "Screwless Lewis" earned its place in the
final four by defeating Countrywide and the Merrill Bulls. Later, in a surprise move, BAC brought in
many of the overpriced Bulls including Johnny Thain. Unlike CITI, BAC is sticking
to its bad bank strategy. Lewis is reputedly a volatile "take no prisoners" martinet
who keeps a live bailout hand grenade on his desk. Bobby Knight would be proud.

MORGAN STANLEY: MORGAN STANLEY has always been affectionately thought of as America's
team. In recent years they experienced internal strife. Coach Johnny Mack is a dedicated, bread and
potatoes man who says he loves what he does even when he does it for free.
Some question his preoccupation with Japanese players. He has done very
well in steering his team away from controversy and keeping his teams nose to the grindstone.

GOLDMAN SACHS: GOLDMAN SACHS is perhaps the most reviled of the four teams. This follows from a combination of
overeaching and cockiness following a nail biter with AIG that almost led to Goldman's own early elimination.
Coach Blankfein is a smooth operator, but many blame him for nearly sinking the franchise. Lately
Goldman has experienced controversy surrounding the alleged impropriety in its TARP bailout financing as well
as conflicts of interest involving officials.

There you have it. This years Bailout Final Four. As you know, the last team standing will earn the chance to
go head to head with Jamie Dimon's J.P. MORGAN CHASE. A team which many say has executed flawlessly all
season.

ELLIOT SPITZER ON THE EVIL AIG GOLDMAN WEB

PONZIMONIUM IN THE USA!



BOSTON (Reuters) - Hundreds of people in the United States are under investigation for financial scams, many involving Ponzi schemes, a U.S. regulator said on Friday, calling the phenomenon "rampant Ponzimonium."



P.O.N.Z.I. MONIUM in the U.S.A.
(R.O.C.K. in the USA, John Mellencamp)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along link: http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=99DH5Eg-VcQ

They came to the big City
To become scamster Wall Street clowns
Market zealots, MBAs, Quants, Hucksters and Cons
Smokin securitized crack boom bam
Chorus:
PONZI MONIUM in the U.S.A.
PONZI MONIUM its the Wall Street way
PONZI MONIUM in the U.S.A., yeah, yeah!
PONZI' in the U.S.A.

Said goodbye to business ethics
Said goodbye to good business sense
With dreams of bonus treasure in their heads
And lots of leverage and OPM in their hands
Some are black most are white
Ain't to proud to sleep on the NYSE floor tonight
With the blind faith in Croesus you know that they just might, be
PONZI' in the U.S.A.
Hey!

Voices from Friedman, Greenspan
And the rest of those Chicago School clowns
Filled their heads full of dreams of limitless greed
Turned the world of finance upside down

There was DICKIE FULD--JIMMY CAYNE--JOHNNY THAIN
(they were PONZI SCAMIN')
CITI--UBS--AIG--BAC
(they were SCAMIN')
Spotlight on MADOFF
Let's don't forget CHUCKIE PRINCE, STAN O NEAL, BLANKFEIN and PANDIT THE CLOWN
PONZI' in the U.S.A.
PONZI' in the U.S.A.
Hey!

Chorus:
PONZI MONIUM' in the U.S.A.
PONZI MONIUM' its the Wall Street way
PONZI MONIUM' in the U.S.A. yeah, yeah!
PONZI' in the U.S.A.

Friday, March 20, 2009

HOW TO INTERVIEW AT THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT

OBAMA MAKES OVERTURE TO IRAN


It's a sign of the times. Under Bush we had the Axis of Evil, under Obama we have the new scourge: ASSETS OF EVIL

JIGABOO JONES TO THE RESCUE

FOX NEWS--Too Little, Too Late?

In the just a little late category, this week the Treasury Department ran job advertisements seeking applicants for executive compensation specialists. The Washington Times reports the postings — on a government jobs database — list duties like "recovery of bonuses" and "limitations on senior executives' compensation."

I think they need to hire Jigaboo Jones, an expert with the right know-how:

I'M QUOTED IN A BOOK!



But in stark contrast with 1953, the prevailing conviction among many American opinion leaders, including the senators who grilled Wagoner and the heads of Ford, Chrysler, and the United Auto Workers, was that GM doesn’t matter at all. Because GM had lost so much ground to Toyota and other Japanese manufacturers, decision makers in New York and Washington seemed to have concluded that a Toyota job in Texas was the same as a GM job in Michigan.

Many average Americans also seemed to have turned against GM, judging not only from their purchasing patterns but also from the burst of letters from readers in major business publications. “While the GM corporate types were hauling their truckloads full of salary, stock options and bonuses to their banks, realtors and brokers year after year, Japan’s automakers were quietly feeling our nation’s pulse, watching world events unfold, adjusting their corporate strategies and building our automotive future,” wrote Mark Nickels of Manitowoc, Wisconsin, to the Wall Street Journal in early 2008. “What does GM stand for? Visionless pathetic leadership, master blame gamers, out of touch with
American consumers, laggards— I could go on.”

Or as a blogger, williambanzai7, put it on BusinessWeek online in June 2008, “This company is a giant quagmire of mismanagement, intractability, intellectual laziness and competitive stupidity. I don’t know anyone who would buy one of their gas guzzlers, and I predict that after a long drawn out pro cess of denial, this hulk will be extinct. Labor, if you want to build cars, tell your members to go work for Toyota.”

Bet you did'nt know I am a closet Auto industry expert.

THE STENCH AT GOLDMAN SACHS GETS WORSE

I just re-read Grechen Morgenson's (NYT) October 2008 Article (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/28/business/28melt.html) from which the following is an excerpt:

"As the group, led by Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulsen, pondered the collapse of one of America’s oldest investment banks, Lehman Brothers, a more dangerous threat emerged: American International Group, the world’s largest insurer, was teetering. A.I.G. needed billions of dollars to right itself and had suddenly begged for help.

One of the Wall Street chief executives participating in the meeting was Lloyd C, Blankfein of Goldman Sachs, Mr. Paulson’s former firm. Mr. Blankfein had particular reason for concern.

Although it was not widely known, Goldman, a Wall Street stalwart that had seemed immune to its rivals’ woes, was A.I.G.’s largest trading partner, according to six people close to the insurer who requested anonymity because of confidentiality agreements. A collapse of the insurer threatened to leave a hole of as much as $20 billion in Goldman’s side, several of these people said.

Days later, federal officials, who had let Lehman die and initially balked at tossing a lifeline to A.I.G., ended up bailing out the insurer for $85 billion.

Their message was simple: Lehman was expendable. But if A.I.G. unspooled, so could some of the mightiest enterprises in the world.

A Goldman spokesman said in an interview that the firm was never imperiled by A.I.G.’s troubles and that Mr. Blankfein participated in the Fed discussions to safeguard the entire financial system, not his firm’s own interests."

According to the WSJ live blog of the call which can be viewed here (http://blogs.wsj.com/deals/2009/03/20/live-blogging-the-goldman-sachs-aig-call/ ), a Goldman representative today said: "We [WSJ] ask if GS alerted the Treasury about the potential systemic risk in AIG’s fall. There were no meetings between Lloyd and Hank Paulson. Alerting people — we meet with our regulators regularly, and all through our big exposures, and our regulators were posted."

First off, this is inconsistent with what Morgenson was told last Fall. Morgenson is not a sloppy reporter. Second, I don't believe that Blankfein, who was apparently Paulsen's youger protege at Goldman, did not have any conversations about the big picture with his former boss. I just don't believe it.

Perhaps Barney Rubble and his cadre of Capital Hill financial experts should subpeona Blankfein and Paulsen to find out exactly what conversations occurred and when.

Why I am harping about this. Well the problem our beloved financial system is facing is a crisis of confidence first and foremost. The cronyism that allowed Goldman to avoid destruction last September is one of the many imperfections that will have to be exorcised before anyone (but Wall Street itself) will once again believe that Wall Street is something other than a rigged game.

Public Enemy Number 1

(CNN) -- Forget Al Qaeda, Weapons of Mass Destruction and the Axis of Evil. A once obscure acronym is on the lips of President Barack Obama, just about every politician in Washington and a lot of angry taxpayers nationwide. Its AIG...

THE STENCH AT GOLDMAN SACHS

THE STENCH AT "GOLDMAN SACHS"

To rap up a week of shadow bailout and bonus lootng
disclosures at AIG, Barney Frank's AIG bonus inquisition,
Blog posts and radio interviews with Elliot Spitzer,
Congressional outrage and special bonus taxes, pussycat
public protests and a Presidential wrap up on
the Jay Leno Show, Friday morning Goldman
Sachs will host a special conference call
to: "answer questions from journalists, and clarify certain misperceptions in the press regarding Goldman Sachs' trading relationship with American International Group."

Make no mistake, Goldman has its best
road show impresarios choreographing tomorrow's
closing act. They will spin and spin about
their hedging positions against AIG risk,
how they were strong armed into accepting
bailout money, how there were no conflicts
last September when good citizen Blankfein urged the Fed
to bail AIG. They will be innovating the truth in the
mother of all roadshows and
will be counting the gullibility
of the American public.

I hope the media have the spine to expose the uncomfortable
truth at this road show event. As Daniel
Gross correctly points out on Slate, the inconvenient truth
is that Goldman has become one of New York's
biggest welfare queens.

Here is what stinks at Goldman Sachs, and no amount of
factual innovation is going to stem the putrid odour.
It is one thing for Goldman to be yet another bailout floozy.
But Goldman has not admitted its showcase complicity in
creating the mother of all financial meltdowns.

When the dolts at AIG designed the doomsday machine that is sucking Uncle
Sam's wallet dry, you better believe Goldman bankers were there.
Someone should ask what package of fee generating services was provided
by Goldman Sachs to AIG leading up to the crisis. How
much of the subprime garbage at AIG originated at Goldman?
We all know that Goldman's derivative traders picked AIG's
pockets.

That is fine a trade is a trade as they say.

What is not fine and stinks to high heavens, is the
brazen conflicts that surface when you consider
Hank Paulsen's past at Goldman, Blankfein's
exclusive involvement in the discussions leading to the bailout coupled
with Goldman's prominent role in creating Franken/A.I.G.

Mr. Blankfein presided over the debacle that brought his storied investment
bank to its knees then he weaseled his way through the shadow bailout at AIG.
This man who should by any measure lose his job, has been stomping the media
pavement telling the world how the Goldman model is not broken.

Nothing at Goldman needs to be changed says he.

It is time for the media to turn the spotlight on Goldman Sachs.

WilliamBanzai7



From Kati on Slate: "William Banzai, thanks for the music. Singing and laughter are the only things protecting us from the hell created by those greedy vultures...."

YES THE FRENCH...




sure know how to rock n roll. But at Goldman Sachs and AIG yesterday there were more cameramen than protestors.



Why is it that the French, who have all kinds of government entitlements, government paid medical care, free college tuition, 4 week vacations etc, are always violently protesting in the streets?

I know why, the reason they have all those entitlements is because they are always violently protesting in the streets.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

BLANKFEIN: "CAN YOU SPARE A DIME?"



I'm Blankfein, Brother Can You Spare a Dime?
(Buddy Can You Spare a Dime)
WilliamBanzai7

They used to tell me I was building a global investment bank, and so I followed the mob,
When there were fees to plow, or risks to bear, I was always Johnny on the spot.
They used to tell me I was building a global bank, with wealth and glory ahead,
Why should I be standing in line, just waiting for bailout bread?

Once I built a golden bank, I made it run, made it race the markets.
Once I built a golden investment bank; now it's done.
I'm Blankfein, brother can you spare a dime?

Once I built a Wall Street tower, up to the sun, brick, and rivet, and lime;
Once I built a tower, now it's not fun. Brother, can you spare a dime?

Once in Saville Row suits, gee we looked swell,
Screwed all them Yankee Doodly Dummies,
Half a million bankers went marching around the globe,
Now I'm the guy with the bailout baton!

Say, don't you remember, they called me Slick; it was Slick all the time.
Why don't you remember, I'm your pal?
I'm Blankfein, brother can you spare a dime?

Once in Saville Row suits, gee we looked swell,
Screwed all them Yankee Doodly Dummies,
Half a million banker brogues went marching,
Now I'm the guy with the bailout baton!

Say, don't you remember, they called me Slick; it was Slick all the time.
Say, don't you remember, I'm your pal?
I'm Blankfein, brother can you spare a dime?

WALL STREET FIGHTING MAN



WALL STREET FIGHTING MAN
(Street Fighting Man, Rolling Stones)
WilliamBanzai7

Everywhere I hear the sound of marching, charging feet, boy
cause Ponzi ground zero's here and the time is right for fighting Wall Street in the street, boy
But what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for the Banzai7 band
cause in good ol New York town
Theres just no place for a Wall Street fighting man
No

Hey! think the time is right for a financial revolution
But where I live the game to play is quantitative convolution
Well, then what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for the Banzai7 band
cause in good ol New York town
Theres no place for a Wall Street fighting man
No

Hey! said my name is called disturbance
Ill shout and scream, Ill ream the Ponzi kings, Ill rail at all their servants
Well, what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for the Banzai7 band
cause in good ol New York town
Theres no place for a Wall Street fighting man
No

CIVIL UNREST AND WALL STREET



There are news reports that executives of AIG and Merrill are being harangued and threatened by those angered by bonus gate. While the personal safety of these people and their families is a legitimate concern, the anger that is manifesting itself is not misplaced.

What we are seeing is a proverbial "tipping point" of popular outrage. When the system fails to hold those responsible accountable, while ordinary people are suffering, it should be no surprise that frustration boils over.

Goldman Bailout

NEW YORK (MarketWatch) -- Goldman Sachs said it would hold a conference call with reporters on Friday to, "answer questions from journalists, and clarify certain misperceptions in the press regarding Goldman Sachs' trading relationship with American International Group."

How about Goldman's trading relationship with Hank Paulsen last September when the decision was made to bail AIG directly and Goldman indirectly?

LlOYD Hide the "AIG Shrek" Blankfein

"Hey, I'm nobody's messenger boy, all right? I'm a TARP bailout delivery boy."

WHAT THE FRENCH DO WELL

"There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.”

Mark Twain

CITI SUITES

NYT--In a move bound to feed public furor over perks at bailed-out banks, Citigroup plans to spend about $10 million to create new offices for its chief executive and his lieutenants, a project that calls for premium millwork and at least one Sub-Zero refrigerator.

OUR BANK
(Our House, Stephen Stills)
WilliamBanzai7

Come with me now
And rest your weary heads for just five minutes
Everything is good
Such a commodious abode
The windows are illuminated
By the NY City skyline shining through them
Fiery gems to cure our bailout blues
Only our own bailout blues

Our bank is a very, very big bank
Led by Pandit n two floors of banker canards
Life can sometimes be so hard
Now everything is easy
'Cause of Bailouts 1 and 2
And our la,la,la, la,la, la, la, la, la, la, la.....

Our bank is a very, very big bank
With fat cats who don't smoke cigars
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy
'Cause of Bailouts 1 and 2
And Our la, la, la...........

[Pandit: "I don't want to hear it, these numbers had better match the numbers I leaked last week!!!!!!]

BAILOUT GROUPIES CRASHED THE AIG HEARING


WE'RE AN AMERICAN SCAM
(Grand Funk Railroad)

Four pink chiquitas from Omaha,
Just waitin for that AIG man to return to the show.
Feelin good, feelin right, its Wednesday night,
The House detective -- he was out-a-sight.
Now, these fine ladies, they had a plan,
They was in there with bailout protest toys in their hands.
They said, come on, dudes, lets get it on,
And they proceeded to tear Barney Frank's hearing room down.

Meanwhile oustide AIG Financial Products the crowd turned ugly.

THE DARK BAILOUT

POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!!!





SUBPRIME BAILOUT PROTEST SONG
(Melody:One, Two, Three What Are we Fighten For,
Country Joe McDonald)
Lyrics WlliamBanzai7

Yeah, come on all of you, big strong men,
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
He's got himself in a terrible financial jam
Way down yonder in Wall Street land
So pull out your check books and pick up a sponge,
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun.

Chorus:
And it's one, two, three,
What are we bailing for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is a subprime scam;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up them pearly TARP gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! your net worth's just got blown from the sky.

Well, come on regulators, let's move fast;
Your big chance has come at last.
Gotta go out and get those AIG boneheads
The only good fraudster is the one locked
up by the Feds
And you know that prosperty can nerver be won
Since they've blown their balance sheets to kingdom come.

Chorus

Well, come on Wall Street, don't move slow,
Why man, this is subprime bailout au-go-go.
There's plenty good money to be made
By supplying those dumb Feds with the tools of the trade,
Just hope and pray that if they drop the FWMD bomb,
They drop it somewhere else like Hong Kong .

Chorus

Well, come on mothers throughout the land,
Pack your boys off to Wall Street land.
Come on fathers, don't hesitate,
Send 'em off before it's too late.
Be the first one on your block
To have your 401k lost in a hedge fund black box.

Chorus

SPACE NATIONAL BANK

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

PONZI STREET EXPLAINS MADOFF

WHO KILLED AIG?



WHO KILLED AIG?
(Who Killed Davey Moore, Bob Dylan)
WilliamBanzai7 Blog

Sing along: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62daicHQ9as

Who killed A-I-G,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not we," say Greenburg, Sullivan and Willumstead
"Don't point your finger at we three CEO braindead.
We could've stopped it in the early days
An' maybe kept it from this fate,
But the markets would've booed, we're sure,
At not gettin' its money's worth.
It's too bad we three had to to go,
But there was a pressure on we too, you know.
It wasn't we three that made AIG fall.
No, you can't blame we three for incompetence, lyin or financial thievery at all."

Who killed AIG,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not we," cry AIG's derivative traders,
Whose screams filled the trading floors loud.
"It's too bad AIG died alright
But we just like to write dumbass hedges all night.
We didn't mean AIG t' meet its death,
We just meant to plunder it with bonuses n obscene bets,
There ain't nothing wrong in that.
It wasn't us that made AIG fall.
No, you can't blame us at all."

Who killed AIG,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not we," say the politicians and regulators,
Puffing on big Goldman private label cigars.
"It's hard to say, it's hard to smell,
We always thought that AIG was well.
It's too bad for the taxpayers and shareholders AIG's walking dead,
But if it was sick, someone else should've said.
It wasn't we that made AIG fall.
No, you can't blame we at all."

Who killed AIG,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not we," say the gambling institutional AIG fans,
With their unmailed proxy ballots still in their hands.
"It wasn't we that knocked AIG down,
Wh never dreamt AIG's Board was dumber than dumb.
We didn't commit no ugly sin,
Anyway, we put money on AIG to win.
It wasn't we that made AIG fall.
No, you can't blame we at all."

Who killed AIG,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not we," says the rating agencies,
Spewing useless drivel using their useless models,
Sayin', "the Ratings ain't to blame,
There's just as much danger in
the subprime dating game."
Sayin', "Financial innovation is here to stay,
It's just the old American way.
It wasn't we that made AIG fall.
No, you can't blame we at all."

Who killed AIG,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not we," says Goldman Sachs whose subprime trades
Laid AIG low in a cloud of counterparty risk haze,
Whose CEO led them through AIG's mega billion bailout back door
Even though they say they were hedged from the ground to the top floor.
"We hit em, we hit em, yes, it's true,
But that's what we Wall Street bankers n traders are paid to do.
Don't say 'murder,' don't say 'kill.'
It was destiny, it was the market God's will."

Who killed AIG,
Why an' what's the reason for?

AIG'S MOST WANTED FUGITIVES



The whole world is arguing about contract law and AIG Retention bonuses. But the bonuses have already been paid. Its a done deal. Good luck trying to recover the money.

Maybe its time to seriously consider who made this whole debacle possible. The AIG Board of Directors. Unfortunately, another facet of this whole financial soap opera is the feckless state of Delaware laws regarding director liability. Delaware is and has always been one big corporate Liberia. It is easier to catch Nigerian net scammers than it is win an action against a director under Delaware corporate law.

Nevertheless, we can start by visibly calling these highly regarded idiots to the carpet. They are out there somewhere. The members of AIG's Board are listed on EransWorld Blog under a post titled AIG's Ten Most Wanted: http://www.eransworld.com/my-rants/american-international-group-aig-10-wanted-fugitives/#comment-364

AIG--THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR EVIL

EDWARD LIDDY, MEET THE BARNEY FRANK FINANCIAL SERVICES INQUISITION


Barney "Wallnut" Frank


Today AIG Insurance Agent Edward Liddy is to head off to the Barney Frank Financial Services Inquisition...

In the early days of the Great Subprime Meltdown, to combat the rising tide of Wall Street financial chicanery, Congress gave Representative Barney Frank of Massachusetts leave to Subpeona without let or hindrance thoughout the financial services land in a reign of pretentious buffoonery, Wall Street CEO terror and tortured financial pseudo intellectualism, that makes for smashing prime time TV.

This was the Barney Frank Financial Services Inquisition....




No one expects the Financial Services Inquisition!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

BAILOUT MATH REVISITED

Here is who WilliamBanzai7 thinks should be winding down AIGs SWAP portfolio.



I CAN'T STAND HIPPOCRACY

As we now know the top three recipients of money from the government related to the credit insurance A.I.G. had written are Société Générale, a French bank, at $11 billion; Goldman Sachs, at $8.1 billion; and Deustche Bank, at $5.4 billion.

I said it before and I will say iy again, I can't stand hypocracy. There is only one thing worse than listening to gay Republican child molesters lecture us about morality,

listening to:

1. Goldman Sach's CEO Blankfein brag that the Goldman model still works,

2. Deutschebank's CEO Ackerman yodel that they don't need to be bailed out; and

3. French politicians lecture us about our financial excess.

Hmmmm...on second thought, maybe listening to the gay GOP child molesters was worse.

Let them all Bugger Off!

KILL WILLIAM BANZAI7! WOO HOO

HERE'S TO YOU ELLIOT SPITZER



Pee Wee Spitzer's Blog: http://www.slate.com/id/2213942/

Spitzer Interview on WNYC: http://blogs.wnyc.org/news/2009/03/18/eliot-spitzer-on-aig/




HERE'S TO YOU ELLIOT SPITZER
(Mrs. Robinson, Simon and Garfunkle)
WilliamBanzai7's Bailout Smart Club Band

And here's to you, Elliot Spitzer
We all miss you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Elliot Spitzer
Wall Street's one big golden playpen for those who prey
(prey, prey, prey...hey, hey, hey)
We'd like to know a little bit about your Slate blog for our files
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself
Look around you, all you see are securitized Wall Street lies
Stroll around downtown and feel at home

And here's to you, Elliot Spitzer
We all need you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God help us all, Elliot Spitzer
Wall Streets stilla place for those who prey
(Prey, prey prey...hey, hey, hey)

Hide it in a hiding place while the taxpayers get hosed
Put it in an offshore pantry with their bonus cupcakes
It's no little Goldman secret, AIG's the biggest Wall Street affair
By and large, Blankfein's kept it under a bespoke trash lid

Coo, coo, ca-choo, Elliot Spitzer
Wall Street's a bigger con job as you know (Wo, wo, wo)
God help us please, Elliot Spitzer
Sing, Sing holds a place for those who prey
(Prey, prey, prey...hey, hey, hey)

Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon
Listening to the Washington cretens debate
Cry about it, shout about it
They've got lots of time to schmooze
Ev'ry way you look at it, in the long run we lose

What are you doin, Andrew Cuomo
A nation turns its payback eyes to you (Woo, woo, woo)
What's that you say, Elliot Spitzer
Joltin' Cuomo has got to go a long, long way
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

ZATOICHI DANCE SEQUENCE

"Even with my eyes wide open, I can't see a thing."
Zatoichi

BAILOUT HARAKIRI AIG (Serious)



BANZAI7 NEWS--SPECIAL REPORT

BAILOUT HARAKIRI AIG

There are certain subjects that we at the BANZAI7 News Organization understand must be treated with the utmost seriousness, sensitivity and decorum. Today we discuss Bailout Seppuku, samurai ritualistic suicide when committed by incompetent Wall Street CEOs responsible for blowing up the global ponzi-economic system.

Yesterday Iowa Senator Charles Grassley challenged AIG executives with the following: "I would suggest the first thing that would make me feel a little bit better toward them if they'd follow the Japanese example and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say, 'I'm sorry,' and then either do one of two things: resign or go commit suicide."

What he is talking about is known in Japan as Bailout Seppuku (pronounced Bear Out-o Seppuku and not to be confused with Joe Serpico).

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the ritualistic intricacies of Bailout Seppuku we asked out lead commentator WilliamBanzai7 to research and prepare the following detailed report. As you will see, these are serious matters to consider. We urge Hank Greenberg, Martin Sullivan, Robert Willumstead (aka the Three AIG Stooges) to read this methodology carefully.

We further urge Senator Grassley to carefully view the video which reveals GOP Seppuku in technicolor. Afterall, he and his GOP posse share most of the blame for the mother of all Wall Street meltdowns.

WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!

The Fine Art of Bailout Seppuku
WilliamBanzai7

Bailout Seppuku (only gaijin or smelly caucasian men refer to it as "hari-kari") is a highly ritualized road show performance, as complicated as chado (tea ceremony). The principle difference is that at the end of chado, one is merely nauseated from too much green tea, while at the end of bailout seppuku, ones Wall Street career is finished.

The first thing to do is to recruit an analyst, a kaishkunin. Contrary to what is thought, almost all forms of bailout seppuku do not technically involve suicide, but merely inflicting fatal humiliation upon oneself, preferably on the internet or the Daily Show. The kaishakunin does the actual killing. If one is ordered to commit seppuku by the bafuku (United States Congress), it will generally appoint its own kaishakunin. Otherwise, one should ask a great iaijutsuka (practitioner of the technique of killing with a single key stroke) or a close personal friend (as hard as they are to find on Wall Street these days) to be one’s kaishakunin. If asked out of friendship, one may refuse on the grounds that one’s waza (blogging technique) is inadequate; if the request is repeated, however, one should consent gracefully, as flaws in technique will be forgiven (by the blogosphere).

Bailout Seppuku is ideally committed in a corner office, a board or Penthouse (trading floors should not be defiled by bailout death). The participant dresses in Saville Row bespoke long underwear, to express purity of intention and sits in the seiza position (legs drawn up under the body so that one is actually sitting on one’s blackberry). A servant places the sanbo (a Bloomberg terminal) before one. It will be accompanied with a tin cup, a balance sheet (water soluble paper handmade from mulberry bark) and blogging accoutrements such as an executive assistant with a wireless laptop, and a copy of the ISDA form Credit Default swap with standard attachments (disemboweling blade). This can be a tanto (SWAP) without collateral ceiling, wrapped in several sheets of toilet paper to provide a better grip. Real Wall Street samurai, however, use their own wakizashi (ginzu steak knives). If one is of limited experience, or judged too dangerous to be trusted with complex derivatives, an autographed copy of Alan Greenspan's book "Age of Flatulence" may be substituted for an actual blade.

The tin cup is filled with Thunderbird from the left, by an attendant using his left hand (this is indescribably rude under other circumstances). The person committing bailout seppuku then empties it in two drinks of two sips each (one sip would show greed, whilst three or more would show even more greed). This makes a total of four sips; shi, "four", also means "trader death" (Japanese just love these kinds of puns, especially when they’re about to kill themselves).

One then writes a hail Mary sales pitch in the waka style (five lines of five, seven, seven, five, and seven syllables). The poem should be graceful, fraudulent, misleading, deceitful and about results of operations and capital resources. Under no means should it mention that the fact you are about to be terminated with "good cause".

At this point, the person slips out of his bespoke boxers (kamishimo) and places them under his chin to prevent him from doing something undignified like telling the truth or paying back last years bonus. He picks up the kozuka, and with his other hand picks up the sanbo and sticks it up his buttocks, to cause him to lean forward slightly in the proper attitude.

If the person committing is so young or so evil that Greenspan's book has been substituted, the kaishakunin executes a kirioroshi strike (vertical) over the head as soon as the person committing bailout seppuku touches the book to his stomach. Otherwise, he will typically wait until the person plunges the ISDA SWAP into his left eye, and draws it across to the right, with a sharp upward cut at the end. A Wall Street samurai who feels himself capable may then plunge the SWAP into his groin and then up his sorry ass. However, the kaishakunin is supposed to keep a sharp (heh, heh) eye out, and strike at the first sign of pain or hesitation in his principle.

After the executive committing bailout seppuku is finally humiliated, the sanbo, the kozuka, and the katana are all sold on EBAY.

[Special thanks to Rat's Nest Blog for providing data used in this description: http://www.win.net/ratsnest/archive-articles21/fog0000000384.html]

GOP SEPPUKU DEMONSTRATED