Derivatives, the final financial frontier. These are the voyages of the TARP Enterprise.
It's open ended mission: to explore strange new financial weapons of mass destruction, to seek out
new write downs and new financial black holes, to boldly bail where no free market capitalist has bailed before.

Captain Hank at Planet AIG: "Beam me up Ben, there's no intelligent life here."

First Officer Bernanke: "Curious Captain, these AIG managers seem to think they can raise $130 Billion Federation Credits through a "fire sale" (is that what you call it) in the worst market for financial assets ever seen in this galaxy quadrant.

Engineer Cox: Perhaps we should'nt be tampering with these delicate instruments.