The Night Before Bailout Christmas
(The Night Before Christmas)
WilliamBanzai7

Twas a fortnight before Christmas, when there came to the House
A cadre of Detroit clowns doing a sad bailout grouse.
Their company's were hung by years of inept stupidity and greed,
Now there they were standing, the last of a dying breed.

The union ranks were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of hybrids and plug-ins danced in their greedy heads.
And John Dingell with his big auto ‘kerchief, that old Detroit hack,
Had just settled his brains for some more motown crack.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
It sounded like a vehicle powered by reverse anti-matter.
Away to the window all flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

There on the pavement without snow
With the lustre of well designed objects below.
What to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a brand new Toyota Prius powered by eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
All knew in a moment it must be Bailout St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Toyota! now, Nissan! now, Daihatsu and Honda!
On, Isuzu! On, Suzuki! on, on Mistubishi and Mazda!
To the top of the market! while the big three all fall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before old hurricane Katrina fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the rotunda the coursers they flew,
With the hybrid sleigh full of Bailout Toys, and Bailout St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, there was heard under the Capital roof
The silly prancing and gnawing of each Big 3 auto goof.
As all shook our heads, and made a skeptical frown,
Then through the hearing room doors lept Bailout St Nicholas with a bound.

He was dressed all in red Texaco overalls, and black harley boots,
And his clothes were all tarnished with 10W40 and soot.
And billions of bailout dollars he had flung in his bailout sack,
And he looked like a used lemon peddler, just commencing his attack.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the bailout stockings, then turned to those three Big 3 auto jerks.
And laying his fingers to cover his nose,
While giving a nod, all the taxpayers got hosed!

He sprang to his Bailout sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like one big Detroit bailout missile.
But they heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Bailout Christmas to all, see you next year good-night!"