THE FLOW

"It sounds like the plot to a dozen movies: Picture a corporation so powerful that its tentacles circle the globe and reach into the highest corridors of power. Yet a single sentence on an ex-employee's obscure website forces it to move into action. That sentence is so important that it leaves the corporation with no choice but to make that employee ..."


Check it out here.

MACRO ECONOMIC DECEPTION FOR LIARS

ITS SAFE TO GO IN

OBAMOVATION

OBAMANOMICS EXPLAINED

WHERE'S GEITHNER (SPECIAL JOBLESS RECOVERY EDITION)

WHERE'S GEITHNER (SPECIAL JOBLESS RECOVERY EDITION)

WHERE'S GEITHNER (SPECIAL JOBLESS RECOVERY EDITION)

YOU CAN VOTE ON IT

BANZAI7 NEWS--The Obama administration plans to spend billions securing votes from unemployed homeowners facing foreclosure in the nation's toughest job markets.

The Treasury Department says it spend billions of dollars in 17 states that have unemployed voters higher than the national average for a year. They will use the money for programs to aid unemployed voters. Some of those states have already designed such programs.

Another $1 billion will go to a new program being run by the Department of Housing and Urban Development. It will provide homeowneing voters with emergency zero-interest rate loans of up to $50,000 for up to two years.

The administration was required to launch the programs in order to maintain a fighting chance in the upcoming November elections.

Homeowners will be expected to use the cash to make monthly bailout payments to their distressed lenders.

Another innovative bailout brought to you by BAILCO USA. 

WHERE'S GEITHNER (SPECIAL JOBLESS RECOVERY EDITION)

LESS THAN ZERO

Why?

1. Pseudo Healthcare Reform

2. Pseudo Financial Reform

3. Pseudo Recovery

4. Pseudo Change

5. Stimulus Squandered

6. Real Big Deficit

7. No New Ideas

8. No Inspiration

9. A Big Step for Obama and...

10. Big Disapointment for America

RETURN OF THE BONEHEADS

DECEPTION

TALADEGA RECOVERY

ARE YOU READY TO PULL THE CHUTE?

JOBLESS RECOVERY RIP

RE-GOOGLING WALL STREET

BANZAI7 NEWS--Swindling Bankstas can be removed from the street with some experimental software developed by a graduate student at the University of California, Haight Ashbury.

Google Street View creates its panoramas of places by stitching together images. However, the images are captured indiscriminately from a moving vehicle. Idle Bankstas walking their dogs or just jumping off a bridge can appear in the final panorama.

Currently, Google blurs out the faces of idle Wall Street Bankstas, as well as license plates on cars parked at Scores, that are accidently captured idling in Google Street View, but the newly developed software promises to wipe useless Bankstas from existence entirely.

What the software does is identify swindling, deceptive and conniving human forms (Bankstas) in a streetview image and permanently removes them. Then it fills in the gaps with pixels from whatever's behind the Banksta--walls, grass, pavement, strippers and so forth--taken from frames shot before and after the one the conmen appear in the image. Follow up emails are then sent informing the idle Banksta that he or she has been laid off.

Today Barclay's Capital announced that it has agreed to participate in the initial Beta project for the new software by announcing it will use the software to remove several hundred idle Bankstas from its payroll.

Other Wall Street banks are expected to follow shortly.

In related developments, Defense Secretary Gates announced that the Defense Department is planning to use the software to remove useless highly remunerated independent contractors and command personnel.

SCHOOLS OUT FOR BENNY

FEDERAL RESERVE SUCKED

DO YOU POGO?

2012 A FLAKE ODYSSEY

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED

RUNNING ON EMPTY

KRAKEN

WALL STREET: INNOVATING A BETTER AMERICA

BLOOMBERG--Chicago drivers will pay a Morgan Stanley-led partnership at least $11.6 billion to park at city meters over the next 75 years, 10 times what Mayor Richard Daley got when he leased the system to investors in 2008.

The deal illustrates how Wall Street banks, recipients of more than $300 billion in taxpayer bailouts in the worst credit collapse since the Great Depression, are profiting from helping states and cities close record recession-induced deficits by selling bonds and leasing public properties. Chicago gave up billions of dollars in revenue when it announced in 2008 that it leased Morgan Stanley its 36,000 parking meters, the third- largest U.S. system, for $1.15 billion to balance its budget, said Alderman Scott Waguespack.

“It’s despicable, the way it went down,” said Waguespack, one of only five aldermen among 50 who voted against the lease.

SUCKER

LORDS OF THR RIGGED

Would you leave your precious Ring with this creature?

NEXT STOP...THE GEITHNER ZONE

Your traveling through another economic dimension, a dimension not only of spiralng deficits, limitless debts and closet bailouts, but of totally unsound mind; a journey into a wondrous land where jobs are in the imagination only, where Wall Street bankers dance bonus jigs on the head of a pin and stocks are priced by robot traders...There's a signpost up ahead--your next stop, the Geithner Zone....

THE RAVEN (DEBTS NO MORE)

THE RAVEN (Debts No More)

Edgar Allen Poe, The Raven
WilliamBanzai7

Once upon a midnight dreary, while insolvent weak and weary,
Over a balance sheet covered in a cloud of debts and loans,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak September,
And each despicable creditor wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought more to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the abundant days of yore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Debts No More -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each indentured debt just
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic Chinese junk never bought before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some  banker entreating entrance at my chamber door -
My late payments entreating his entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your debt forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no debt laden mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Debts No More!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Debts No More!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, my bankrupt soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind of regretted debts and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly solvent days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Subprime Croesus just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the counterclaim it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no Cramer.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering in my open chamber -
Tell me what unlordly crime now comes from those Wall Street whores!'
Quoth the raven, `Debts No More!'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no solvent human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Debts  No More.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
Those simple words, as if his soul in that one phrase he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have drowned in debt before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then again the bird said, `Debts No More.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom financial disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Debts No More."'

But the raven still beguiling all my bankrupt soul to smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Debts No More.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my leveraged core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, Debts No More!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by JP Morgan's sacred liens whose foot-falls tinkled on the mortgaged floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy proposition of Debts No More!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this silliness of Debts No More!'
Quoth the raven, `Debts No More.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this debt spoiled land all foreclosure haunted -
On this subprime home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there a deficit cancer in Bernanke's brain? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Debts No More.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this lost soul with unpaid debts laden if, within the distant Eden,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Debts No More -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Debts No More?'
Quoth the raven, `Break Even Forevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Usurious shore!
Leave foreclosure doom as a token of the words thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my credit score unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my wallet, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Debts No More.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Subprime Croesus just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is screaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my net worth from out that debtless shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted -nevermore!

HOWS YOUR ALGO?

Do you think you know something about how the markets work. Do you believe the markets price assets based on fundamentals? Then you know what this is.

Read more here.

THE FLIGHT OF PRECARIUS

THE FLIGHT OF PRECARIUS
(The Myth of Icarus Retold, WilliamBanzai7)

Precarius Geithner was the brother of the money printer Bernankus. King Obamus of DC imprisoned Bernankus and Precarius in the Feds Derivatives Labyrinth to punish them both for failing to bring an economic recovery before Election Day.

Bernankus knew that Obamus controlled any escape routes by land or sea, but could not prevent an escape by flight. So Bernankus used his skills to build wings for himself and Precarius. He used wax, bits of toilet paper and string to fasten T Bills to reeds of varying lengths to imitate the curves of bubbles.

When their wings were ready, Bernankus warned Precarius to fly at medium altitude. If he flew too high, the sun could melt the wax of his wings, and the sea could dampen the T Bills if he flew too low.

Once they had escaped, Precarius became exhilarated by flight. Ignoring Bernankus' warning, he flew higher and higher. The sun melted the wax holding his wings together, and Precarius fell into the Potomac and drowned.

Bernankus looked down to see worthless T Bills floating in the waves, and realized what had happened.

He buried Precarius Geithner on an island which would be called Prevaricus and the sea into which Precarius had fallen would ever after be called the Precarius Sea of Prevaricated Sovereign Debt.

RECOVERING GEITHNER

Untitled

TWO HEADS WORSE THAN FOUR

PUBLIC ENEMIES 2010: MAESTRO

DOUCHEBAG SURVIVOR

Here's another clue for you all, the Walrus wasn't Paul...

WTC MOSQUE OR MECCA WTC

BANZAI 7--Instead of championing a mosque in lower Manhattan, why doesn't Mayor Bloomberg offer to personally provide seed financing for a foundation to construct a World Trade Center memorial in Mecca? Call it a symbol of reconciliation and healing.

Given his terrific track record in reconstructing lower Manhattan and Ground Zero (not), we could expect the new Mecca Ground Zero memorial to be finished by at least 2101, just around the corner from the Masjid al Haram.

Once again, the WTC site has proven to be a metaphor for everything that is wrong with America today.

Rest assured, the world looks at that hollow WTC construction site and shakes its head wondering if this can be the mighty country that purports to lead the free world.

NI HAO MA FED

REFUDIATING COBONEHEAD

BANZAI7--Former Alaska Governor Sarah "I Quit" Cobonehead said Sunday that Arizona Governor Jan "I Don't Quit" Brewer has "the cojones" that she (Cobonehead) definatively does not have.

Next, Cobonehead wants to check Oboneheads cohones to see if they refudiate hers. 

WHY HAVE WE NOT TARRED AND FEATHERED THIS MORON?

BANZAI7 NEWS--Maestro the Subprime Monkey said the slowing economic recovery in the U.S. feels like a “quasi-recession” and the economy might contract again if home prices decline.

“We’re in a pause in a quasi-recovery, a modest quasi-recovery, but a quasi-pause in the modest quasi-recovery feels like a modest quasi-recession,” Maestro said in a quasi-interview on NBC’s “Meet the World's Dumbest Circus Animals .”