Wednesday, May 26, 2010
TALES FROM THE JIPPED
BANZAI7 NEWS--Citibank Wednesday agreed to pay $1.5 million to settle claims that it dozed off at the switch as one of its brokers allegedly joined his customers in a scheme to steal tens of millions of dollars from the dead.
The Financial Industry Regulatory Agency, the self-regulator known as Finra, said Citi agreed to pay a $750,000 fine and to repay $750,000 in commissions in the case of Mark Singer.
He is the former Citigroup broker who participated in a scheme that allegedly bilked $60 million from buyers of prepaid cemetery plots in Tennessee and Michigan over two years.
The Financial Industry Regulatory Agency, the self-regulator known as Finra, said Citi agreed to pay a $750,000 fine and to repay $750,000 in commissions in the case of Mark Singer.
He is the former Citigroup broker who participated in a scheme that allegedly bilked $60 million from buyers of prepaid cemetery plots in Tennessee and Michigan over two years.
INTRODUCING THE BANZAI7 PERIODIC TABLE OF WALL STREET CRIMINAL ELEMENTS
Today we start with one of the gaseous Blovioids:
Move onto the 2Big2Failoids:
And the Fecklessoids aka the Hopioids:
Look for more Criminal Elements later this week. Collect em all and get ready for the full Periodic Table coming real soon...
Move onto the 2Big2Failoids:
Look for more Criminal Elements later this week. Collect em all and get ready for the full Periodic Table coming real soon...
SEE YOU IN NOVEMBER OBANKSTA
When they saved the big banks, with massive unconditional support (both explicit and implicit) over a year ago, top administration officials promised they would be back later to fix the underlying problems. This they – and Congress – manifestly have failed to do."
Simon Johnson
A BETTER STOP SIGN
BANZAI7 NEWS--A recent article on Slate.com delves into the possibility of designing a more efficacious STOP sign:
"In reality, the design of the stop sign, however seemingly settled, is not necessarily ideal. In 1998, for example, there were more than 700,000 crashes at intersections marked—or "controlled," as engineers say—by stop signs. More than 3,000 of these were fatal.
We don't know what the fatality numbers would look like if modern stop signs were replaced by something else or taken out altogether, but the fact that the sign is at least indirectly implicated in several thousand deaths and hundreds of thousands of injuries every year suggests that traffic engineers should at least look into improving, or replacing, the device."
Scientists of the BANZAI7 INSTITUTE for a safer planet have discovered that optimal STOP sign design is gender specific. Field tests have confirmed that the following designs would improve STOP sign safety exponentially.
More on STOP signs: here.
"In reality, the design of the stop sign, however seemingly settled, is not necessarily ideal. In 1998, for example, there were more than 700,000 crashes at intersections marked—or "controlled," as engineers say—by stop signs. More than 3,000 of these were fatal.
We don't know what the fatality numbers would look like if modern stop signs were replaced by something else or taken out altogether, but the fact that the sign is at least indirectly implicated in several thousand deaths and hundreds of thousands of injuries every year suggests that traffic engineers should at least look into improving, or replacing, the device."
Scientists of the BANZAI7 INSTITUTE for a safer planet have discovered that optimal STOP sign design is gender specific. Field tests have confirmed that the following designs would improve STOP sign safety exponentially.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
WANDERING BLACKHOLE
Searching for the black hole
UPDATE: Astronomers at the Swiss observatory have detected a reverse shift of the Blackhole in the direction of AIG following this report: RiskMetrics Group Inc has told investors to vote against Prudential Plc's (PRU.L) $35.5 billion bid for AIG's (AIG.N) Asian life unit AIA, the Financial Times reported in its Wednesday edition.
DEBT EURO I
Good Times Bad Times
Babe We're Gonna Leave You
You Shook the Markets
Dazed and Confused
SIDE 2
Your Time Has Come
Bleak Market Slide
Financial Regulation Breakdown
How Many More Times?
We Can Quit You Baby
Monday, May 24, 2010
DEAD EURO II
SIDE A
WHOLE LOTTA PIIGS
WAS IST UND SHOULD NEVER BE
THE EURO LEMON SONG
DANKE
SIDE B
BALLBREAKER
LIVING LOVING BAILOUT MERKLE
BUMBLE ON
MOBY SHORTS
BAIL IT ON HOME
DEEPWATER PLUNGER DELAYED
BANZAI7 NEWS--Bubba Pump announced that it is delaying deployment of its latest plan ("Deepwater Plunger") to stem the Deep Horizon oil leak on account of a shortage of toilet tissue stocks.
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