BERKSHIRE HATHAWAY TO ACQUIRE GREECE?

EXCLUSIVE NEWS BULLETIN

May 1, 2010

BANZAI7 NEWS--Knowledgeable sources report that Warren Buffet has retained Goldman Sachs to advise Berkshire Hathaway Corporation in a cash and share transaction to acquire Greece. The transaction would involve an exchange of shares for all of Greece's external debts by Berkshire and the issuance of Berkshire shares to all Greek citizens residing in Chicago.  Greece would be renamed Berkshire Hathos-way. In addition, Prime Minister Pappy Papendreou would be appointed interim CEO until John Thain arrives.

Although Mr. Buffet categorically denies the development, sovereign debt watchers say this scenario would explain why Greece has elected to retain the Lazard firm as advisers instead of Goldman Squid. As usual, conflict issues have been ruled out as the primary cause. Moreover, given the expected drop off of Squid investment banking business following revelations of chronic ethical lapses and fraudulent inclinations of the synthetic asset backed kind,  it is believed that Mr. Buffet is eager to throw Goldman an emergency dog bone. Goldman is known to have a cadre of bankers with expertise in doing Greek style transactions from all directions.

John Sawblade, a knowledgeable distressed M&A advisor said: There are numerous synergies between Greece and the Berkshire Hathaway businesses, for example:

• Acme Brick Company, is eager to provide products to Greek rioters.

• Benjamin Moore could expand into the Greek market for white exterior wall paint as well as white washing balance sheets.

• Boat USA and Net Jets could provide escape craft for fleeing Greek bureaucrats and government officials.

• Fechheimer wants to provide state of the art riot gear to Greek police.

• Fruit of the Loom envisions short sales as a growth industry in the Club Med zone. Moreover, large numbers of investors in Greece are known to have lost their shorts.

• Dairy Queen would like to convert Greek yogurt consumption to soft ice cream. 

•  The Pampered Chef has been known to be interested in expanding into the luxury diner business.

• Sees Candies would like to manufacture Turkish toffees for exportation to nearby Turkey. 

• Geico sees an opportunity to return to its roots of insuring government employees.

Finally, at this weekend's shareholder barbeque buffet,  Mr. Buffet made no secret of his deep love for kalamarakia tiganita (fried squid).