Sunday, May 10, 2009

HAPPY MOTHERS OF INVENTION 2009



MOVIN TO BERMUDA SOON

I might be movin' to Bermuda soon
Just to write me up a crop of structured subprime dross, Writin it up
Markin it down
In a little black box
That I can sell downtown
By myself I wouldn't
Have no coins to toss,
But I'd be writin my lowly Subprime dross
Writin' my lowly Subprime dross
Well I just might hire me some quantitative geeks
And I'd sell that geek fluff
To somebody else...
but then, on the other hand
I'd Keep take some subprime cheese snacks N' melt it down
Take some greek sauce N' swish it aroun'
I'd have me a crop of crap
An' it'd be on top

(that's why I'M movin' to Bermuda)

Movin' to Bermuda soon
Gonna be a Subprime loss tycoon
(yes I am)
Movin' to Bermuda soon
Gonna be a structured loss flykune
I'm securitizing' the ol' Subprime dross
That's growin' in Greenspan's scary bubble
Pluckin' the dross!
I plucked all day an' all nite an' all Afternoon...
I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
(His name is GAUSS)
He's a good hoss
Even though He's a bit dim witted to strap a hedge straddle or
security blanket on anyway
Any way I'm writin' the ol' Subprime dross
Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I'm gonna find me a derivative counterparty horse
With a brain just about this big
An' ride him all along the inefficient frontier
With a Pair of heavy-duty
Magic alpha-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other structured finance geek would say
I was mighty grand
By myself I wouldn't
Have no coin to toss
But I'd be writin' my lowly Subprime dross
Well I might Ride along the Level 3 border
With my tweezers gleamin'
In the moon-lighty night
And then I'd Get a cuppa cawfee
N' give my CRO a kick in the tush...
Just me 'n the pymgy pony
Over the Subprime dross Bush
N' then I might just Jumb back on
An' ride Like a Wall Street cowboy
Into the dawn to Bermuda
Movin' to Bermuda soon

(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)

Movin' to Bermuda soon

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