RONERY KIM JONG-ILL WATCHING GM

BANZAI7 News--Undisclosed sources have disclosed that North Korean leader Kim Jong IL is a bondholder of General Motors. The disclosures also indicate that Kim was a big purchaser of Chrysler and GM credit default swaps in trades opposite American International Group.

Knowledgeable unknown sources indicate that Dear Leader will lose his shirt if GM files for Chapter 11 as expected on June 1. Dear Leader was apparently infuriated by the terms of GM's proposed exchange offer and rumors that the UAW is slated to receive more equity in a Federal financed bankruptcy restructuring.

Intelligence analysts suspect that the controversy created by North Korean missile launches and bomb tests is actually an elaborate smoke screen for a new kind of derivative instrument called a Kimchee Put. Dear Leader was once heard commenting: "FWMD, do I have that?"

When queried by Representative Cummings about credit default trades with North Korea, AIG CEO Ed Liddy said: "I'll have to look into it."

Asked to comment on Kimchee puts, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner said: "The whole idea stinks." Secretary Geithner has scheduled an emergency trip to China to discuss a possible Kimchee Put counter hedge, known as the TIC TAC Call.

Kim's father Kim II Sung ("Kimchee Kahuna") was a well known water board enthusiast.

KIM JONG IL and FRIENDS SING THE RONERY BONDHOLDER SONG
(TEAM AMERICA, I'M SO RONERY)

Sing along: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo9Zgfndtak

We're So Ronery
We're ronery
So ronery
So ronery and sadry arone

There's no one
Just us onry
Sitting on our rittle bondholder throne
We hedged very hard and made up great derivative prans
But nobody ristens, no one understands
Seems that no one takes us creditors serirousry

And so we're ronery
A little ronery
Poor rittre we

There's nobody
We can rerate to
Feer rike bondholder birds in a Motown cage
It's kinda sihry
But not rearry
Because it's fihring our bodies with rage

We work rearry hard and we're financiaarry fit
But nobody here seems to rearize that
When we rure the automotive FWMD world maybe they'rr notice us
But untir then I'rr just be ronery
Rittre ronery, poor rittre we
We're so ronery
We're so ronery

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