COSMIC WATER SPORTS

BANZAI7 NEWS--A NASA spacecraft orbiting Mars has spotted exposed ice in five different spots on the Red Planet.

After years of speculation and last year's intensive hunt, NASA scientists reported today that they've found frozen water just a few feet below the planet's surface.

NASA believes most of Earth's water will rapidly evaporate from global warming. Hence the recently expanded search for water on the Moon and on Mars. Scientists are busy designing giant water transporters. The plan is to send humongous rocket vehicles loaded with unemployed Americans, before they return home loaded with much needed Martian and Looney H20.

Questioned about the actual need for water on Earth, NASA officials said: "The unemployed Americans will be very busy on Mars. Free tickets will also be offered to VIPS such as Self Presumed Iranian President I'm-a-Nutjob. "

In a related development:

The Air Force began its third effort to award a $35 billion contract for aerial water tankers on Thursday, with Congressional leaders saying the proposed water tanker fleet could go a long way towards solving the unemployment problem.