THE FLIGHT OF PRECARIUS

THE FLIGHT OF PRECARIUS
(The Myth of Icarus Retold, WilliamBanzai7)

Precarius Geithner was the brother of the money printer Bernankus. King Obamus of DC imprisoned Bernankus and Precarius in the Feds Derivatives Labyrinth to punish them both for failing to bring an economic recovery before Election Day.

Bernankus knew that Obamus controlled any escape routes by land or sea, but could not prevent an escape by flight. So Bernankus used his skills to build wings for himself and Precarius. He used wax, bits of toilet paper and string to fasten T Bills to reeds of varying lengths to imitate the curves of bubbles.

When their wings were ready, Bernankus warned Precarius to fly at medium altitude. If he flew too high, the sun could melt the wax of his wings, and the sea could dampen the T Bills if he flew too low.

Once they had escaped, Precarius became exhilarated by flight. Ignoring Bernankus' warning, he flew higher and higher. The sun melted the wax holding his wings together, and Precarius fell into the Potomac and drowned.

Bernankus looked down to see worthless T Bills floating in the waves, and realized what had happened.

He buried Precarius Geithner on an island which would be called Prevaricus and the sea into which Precarius had fallen would ever after be called the Precarius Sea of Prevaricated Sovereign Debt.