WILLIAMBANZAI7'S BELIEVE IT OR NUTS: WALL STREET DINOSAURS SHORTLY AFTER COMET AIG

LEAK ENDER

GOLDMAN CLOWN

BANZAI7 NEWS--Investment Skank Goldman Sachs has warned its traders not to swear in company emails, and added that their emails will be censored and unacceptable words removed.

NI HAO MA REFUDIATOR?

BALLAD OF FRANK AND DODD

FRANK AND DODD
(Jack and Diane, Mellencamp)
WilliamBanzai7

Little ditty about Barney Frank and Chris Dodd
Two American Con-gressmen on the take in Bankstaland
Dodds gonna be a hedge fund star
Frankie debutante backseat of a Banksta car

Suckin on chilli dogs outside the NYSE
Dodd sittin on Frankies lap
Hes got his hands between his knees
Frankie say, hey Dodd lets run off
Behind a corrupt Wall Street buttonwood tree
Nibble off those lobbyist branches
Let me do what I please
And Frankie say a

Chorus:
Oh yeah the Banksta con goes on
Long after the thrill of legislating is gone
Oh yeah the Banksta con goes on
Long after the thrill is gone Wall Street just keeps on

Frankie sits back reflects his thoughts for a moment
Scratches his pin head and does his best james dean
Well you know Dodd we oughtta run of the Street
Dodd says, Barn you aint miss no-thing
Frankie  say a

Chorus:
Oh yeah the con goes on
Long after the thrill of legislating is gone
Oh yeah the Banksta con goes on
Long after the thrill is gone Wall Street just keeps on

Gonna let it rock
Let it roll
Let Obankstas Beltway army come down
And save my financial soul
Hold on to your cash people, as long as you can
Changes comin round real soon
Make all you subprime suckers borrowers again

Little ditty about Frank and Dodd
Two american congressman on the take in Bankstaland
 

PROFESSOR ALI G PALIN TRANSLATION (CELEBRATING ILLITERACY)

An' bang iz not one in which me parents or me nippa wiv down syndrome iz gonna af stand in front hof obama's 'death panel' so iz bureaucrats can decide, based on da subjective judgment hof dare 'level hof productivity in society,' whetha dey iz worthy hof health care. such da system iz downright evil...


We reckon dat da fittest hof america iz not all in washington, d.c. ... we reckon dat da fittest hof america iz in dees small towns dat we get to visit, an' in dees snoop little pockets hof wot I call da real america, bein in da house wiv all hof yous ard workin' well patriotic, um, well, um, pro-america areas hof dis yorkie nashun.

Sarah Palin
Translated by Professor Ali G

IF YOU EVER NEED A PLUMBER, DON'T HIRE THIS GUY...

-- Five leaks in and around BP's well are more like "drips" and aren't yet reason to worry, said retired Coast Guard Adm. Thad Allen, the national incident commander. He extended testing of the experimental cap by another day, which means the oil will remain shut in. Seepage two miles from BP's oil cap is coming from another well, he said.

If you had five leaks around your toilet, all of which appeared after you clogged it up with two rolls of paper, would you be a little concerned?

SONNET 55 FOR SARAH

Not marble, nor gilded emoluments
Of lobbyists shall outlive this powerful rhyme;
But you shall shine more brightly in these contents
Than  unkempt trailer trash besmear'd with sluttish grime.
When wasteful media whores shall status overturn,
And broils root out the work of demoronocratic hegemony.
Not Martian hoards nor automatic weapons fire shall turn
The living record of your memory.
'Gainst death and all-oblivious mental entropy
Shall you pace forth; your followers shall still find room
Even under the weighty brains of your posterior
That wear this country out to the ending doom.
So, till the popular judgment that you may not surmise,
You live in this, and may dwell as a legend in your own eyes.

ORIGINAL VERSION
WIlliam Shakespeare

Not marble, nor the gilded monuments
Of princes, shall outlive this powerful rhyme;
But you shall shine more bright in these contents
Than unswept stone besmear'd with sluttish time.
When wasteful war shall statues overturn,
And broils root out the work of masonry,
Nor Mars his sword nor war's quick fire shall burn
The living record of your memory.
'Gainst death and all-oblivious enmity
Shall you pace forth; your praise shall still find room
Even in the eyes of all posterity
That wear this world out to the ending doom.
So, till the judgment that yourself arise,
You live in this, and dwell in lover's eyes.

TO BE OR TOO NUTS TO BE?

WASILLA SHAKES BEER
TOO NUTS TO BE
(WilliamBanzaiShakespeare)

To be, or too nuts to be--that is my question:
Whether 'tis numbler for the mind to offer
The slings and arrows of outrageous distortions
Or to take up automatic firearms against a sea of social liberalism
And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep--You Betcha!
No more--and by a waking sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That fluster me and my hairdo.. 'Tis a mental constipation
Devoutly to be FOX news dished, To try, to sleep--
To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the hubbub,
For in that sleep of what dreams may come
When we get shuffled along the moron curve,
Must give us mental menopause. Where's the refudiation
That makes chicken soup of life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of the internet
Th' decider's wrong, the proud  clown's costume
The pangs of desperation, the corrupt profits
The insolence of public office, and the spurns
That patient mental patients merit of th' unworthy tactics,
When she herself might her twitterfeed make
With a bare bodkin? Who would firearms bear,
To grunt and sweat under in a weary trailer,
But that the dread of something after a lowlife of trash in
The undiscovered Northern county, from whose boneheaded exploits
No politician returns, puzzles the wild
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to other countries that we know nothing of?
Thus science and knowledge does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of T Party Revolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of absent thought,
And enterprise of great pitch and vacuous moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action. -- Soft you now,
Oh unfairly elected  -- Political Nymphs,  in thy offices
May all my carnivalations be remembered.

DEAR SARAH...(TO BE OR HOW NUTS IS SHE?)

"I Didn't really Say Everything I Said."
Yogi Berra

As a New Yorker, I am painfully inescapable of formaldahyding my own mental chowder on the dodgy subtext of whether it is "to be or not to be" a Republicamendable idea to erupt a Mosque near to the real estate development slight otherwise known in disturbative circles as Ground Spiro (as in spiroling construction costs, Agnewing protests, spiraling vacancies and spiraling political ineptitude).

Enter Sarah Paleolithic...that irrefudably rapacious Wassilian twintellectable...Or in the words of William Shakes Beer, that droning common kissing political canker blossom, that unmuzzled tickle-brained disintellectual strumpet, that mammering clay-brained pidgin winger, that saucy fool born conservative clack dish and infectious dizzy eyed Tea party wagtail.

This week the Queen of Beans has been busting her strump verbally mutating about Mosques in New York City. It was a free country, so she can execrete her Second Amendment Rights on whatever she wants.

Me, I'll look to the otherwise guyed words of famously street smart  New Yorkers such as Yoggi Berra who once said: You can take the politician out of the camouflaged underwear, but you can't take the camouflaged underwear out of the Politician.  

As another famous immigrant of Queens, Archie Bankster, once said malapropriatly:
I ain't a man of carnival instinctuals like you.

You see Sarah, we New Yorkers are actually inescapable of confabulating our own onions on matters of prostate impudence and we'd depreciate it if you would cease with your gratudinously cleavaged seductions....To regurgitate the words of another fine New Yorker:

"Shut your pinhole!"
  Eastman Kodak

Yours Sincerely,

WilliamBanzaiShakespeere      

DO YOU REFUDIATE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE?

First Trailer Queen Sarah Palin does. And someone needs to refumigate Wasilla...

GONE FISHING

With the passing of Obankster's financial reform smorgasbord, the world will once again be safe for bankers.

On that note WB7 is taking a brief blog break and will be back shortly.

In the meantime he recommends that you read the recently published Trillion Dollar Conspiracy by Jim Marrs. If you want a big picture of where we are at this moment in history, read this book. In the meantime, hope and pray that Sarah Palin does not read Mein Kampf.

Get ready for the Tea Party Texas death match coming to voting booths near you...

JUSTICE SERVED?

The Goldman Sachs settlement with the SEC makes a mockery of the American system of financial regulation. A wrist slap of $500 million and a consent decree does little to reinstate confidence in the Ponzified American financial system. $500 million to be paid by a firm that received $12 billion of bailout money and enjoys the backing of the Federal Reserve money store. The same firm that AIG was apparently forced to release from related claims of securities fraud. Goldman has become an alter ego of the US government. Plain and simple.

Thomas Jefferson once said:

No nation however powerful, any more than an individual, can be unjust with impunity. Sooner or later, public opinion, an instrument merely moral in the beginning, will find occasion physically to inflict its sentences on the unjust… The lesson is useful to the weak as well as the strong.

Words well said.

WONDERS OF THE WORLD OF FRAUD (RATINGS ANALYST)

WONDERS OF THE WORLD OF FRAUD (KEYNESIAN TEMPLE)

WONDERS OF THE WORLD OF FRAUD (KEYNESIAN PRIEST)

WONDERS OF THE WORLD OF FRAUD (GREEN SHOOTS)

WONDERS OF THE WORLD OF FRAUD (MADOFF)

WONDERS OF THE WORLD OF FRAUD (OLD FAITHFUL)

From The WilliamBanzai7 Blog

WONDERS OF THE WORLD OF FRAUD

WONDERS OF THE WORLD OF FRAUD (1 TRILL)

PAUL THE BANKER

BANZAI7 NEWS--In a surprise development, Paul the Octopus has announced that he will retire from the football prediction business.  Following his uncanny success in predicting the World Cup outcome, Paul has been inundated with offers from financial firms including two from quantitative trading funds and an offer to be a Managing Director at the European debt trading desk of Goldman Sachs.

WONDERS OF THE WORLD OF FRAUD (FRICK and FRACK)

WONDERS OF THE WORLD OF FRAUD

WONDERS OF THE WORLD OF FRAUD

MUSIC FOR ECONOMISTS

NEVERMIND

SAFETY IN NUMBERS

EUROPEAN STRESS TESTS

IN PRAISE OF DEFAULT

Well worth reading

Excerpt:

The housing bubble was a massive, historic misallocation of capital. Wanting borrowers to keep paying over the odds for an asset, housing, which should be allowed to fall in price is to want to keep misallocating that capital. Rather than keeping house prices high and mortgage portfolios sound, the money that might go to repayments and interests would instead go to either consumption or investment in some other more rewarding area.

There are good reasons for the stigma against default; societies in which people can be counted on to honor their contracts generally produce better, fairer outcomes and are vastly more efficient.

Some will argue that if there are a lot of strategic defaults — defaults undertaken not just because a borrower can’t pay but because it is in their best interest not to pay — loans will become harder to get and more expensive.

Absolutely, and a good thing too, for banks and borrowers.  Let the bad lenders take their losses and, if need be, fail.

BLIMP 1 TO GULF

BANZAI7 NEWS--The White House announced that the Presidential Blimp (Blimp 1) will be redeployed to the Gulf to help in the BP cleanup. Blimp 1, which was recently reinflated by the Federal Reserve Bank, will allow the President to observe the oil spill from a stationary position.

When the slick is spotted, Blimp 1's crew will shovel dollars out the hatch to help soak up the oil.

MONSTRO!

IDIOT GRINGOS UP NORTH

BANZAI7 NEWS BUREAU CUCARACHA--The brokerage business is in danger of becoming obsolete in Venzuela, said Noris Acquire, a director at the clearing firm Cucaracha Venezolana de Fraudes. Since November, Venezuela’s securities regulator has taken control of about 35 percent of the 112 trading firms and closed four after they were blamed for the 27 percent drop in the bolivar through May 18. That may leave up to 2,500 without jobs even as Chavez says his biggest economic priority is not preserving broker employment.

Chavez, says the country doesn’t need such companies and accuses them of exploiting loopholes to become rich. The government banned investment instruments known as mutuos in February -- which are akin to repurchase agreements, or repos -- and prohibited brokers from trading in a new currency market established last month. Securities firms use repos to borrow money to finance positions in bonds and other securities. Venezuelan investor Warrendo Buffoones says the mutuos are FWMDs (Frauds With Mucho Desire).

In a speech on May 23 to supporters, Chavez said his country should eliminate brokerages forever.

“We’re going to respond strongly against these thieves that are trying to wash their hands now. We are not going to make the same mistakes made by those idiot Gringos up North" Chavez said.

(BP 105) BP TO FOLLOW LEHMAN STRATEGY?

LONDON/KUWAIT (Reuters) - Shareholders in British oil company BP balked at reports it would seek urgent investment from a wealthy Middle East or Asian country as clean-up costs for its U.S. oil spill topped $3 billion. BP would neither confirm nor deny the rumor, but Dick (the Gorilla) Fuld is rumored to be advising BP on this matter/bankruptcy code named BP 105.


The Lehman Strategy:  If the capital markets  cannot be sourced because you have a giant unquantifiable hole in your balance sheet, run to the Arabs, Chinese, Singaporeans and Koreans to save you before you have to file for bankruptcy.

SUE WALL STREET.COM

Barbara Ann Radnofsky, a candidate for Texas Attorney general has prepared a legal complaint against Wall Street. Yes Wall Street.

She is advocating that State Attorney's General should commence legal actions styled along the lines of the "tobacco litigation" only this time against Wall Street et al. The complaint is based on the legal theory of Quasi Sovereign Interest which recognizes the States right to sue to protect its physical and economic well being and that of its citizens.

The text of the complaint is set out below. It may or may not be efficacious in the courts. However, it serves as a compact civil indictment of the criminal bankster behavior that has been diligently chronicled on the pages of this blog. To date, our law enforcement and regulatory system has fallen woefully short in bringing the "hole in your 401k Wall Street gang" to justice. Regulators and prosecutors have shown little in the way of "Spitzerian" imagination. The kind of imagination that led to the draft of this complaint.

If you are tired of hearing about how the rating agencies can't be sued, how AIG and Joey Cassano will not be prosecuted, how Goldman did everything right, how Dick Fuld did not know what Repo 105 is, how Geithner had no idea what the terms of the AIG bailout were, how Hank Paulsen never discussed Goldman's AIG clusterfuck with Lloyd Blankfein, how the financial tsunami was actually a black swan, how Bernie Madoff is the only one who belongs in jail, how Citigroup danced the same dance as everyone else, how TBTF is not the problem, how Goldman won't have to comply with the watered down Volcker Rule until 2022, how derivatives are actually good for the economy etc...you will surely enjoy reading this:

1. Plaintiff State of Texas ("the State") sues Goldman Sachs Group, Morgan Stanley, UBS, Merrill Lynch/BOA, Citigroup, Credit Agricole, Credit Suisse, Deutsche Bank ("the Banks"), Moody’s, Standard and Poor’s, Fitch (“the Ratings Agencies”), AIG Insurance Company (AIG) and other John Doe defendants for causing financial crisis and physical harms; recession; unemployment; home and wealth loss; forced cutbacks in a wide variety of critical areas, including medical care, social services, and environmental protection. Damages to the State include but are not limited to reduction in the value of state investments and the increased costs to governmental units, including increased insurance costs to Texas governmental units seeking to issue bonds whose reputation has been unfairly impaired. Defendants caused budget shortfall of at least $18 billion to the State of Texas. The environment, health and wellbeing of the State and its citizenry are directly harmed. The first manifestations to children and other vulnerable citizens include hunger, disease and medical complication.

2. The U.S. Supreme Court recognizes the State's right to sue to protect its physical and economic well being and that of its citizens and the State's possession of Quasi Sovereign Interests in physical wellbeing and economic prosperity.

3. AIG negligently ran and ruined its own and other businesses and the economy by failing to act as a reasonable and prudent insurance company, costing over $180 billion for bailout. AIG foolishly insured many hundreds of billions of dollars of loan agreements: bets as to whether borrowers would default. In insuring these credit default swaps, AIG knew or should have known that massive defaults would occur and AIG would be left holding the bag. AIG’s misconduct included intentional and fraudulent acts and omissions. AIG engaged in fraudulent misrepresentations aware of the significant risks, but claiming credit default swaps were selling insurance for “a catastrophe that would never happen.”

4. The Banks negligently ran and ruined their own and other affected businesses and the economy. Wall Street Banks created financial products such as Collateralized Debt Obligations, derived from bonds, which they marketed and sold as legitimate investments, using credit default swapping to allow investors to also bet on failure/default. The Wall Street Banks, negligently and intentionally, allowed the ratings received on their own products to falsely portray the investments as better than in truth the investments were. Had investors or ratings companies been properly informed, they'd have known the products were designed to fail, intentionally favoring bettors-on-default. The Banks’ misconduct included intentional and fraudulent acts and omissions.

5. The rating system fostered by all defendants added to the deception including failure to disclose and eliminate banks’ control over ratings and payments. The ratings agencies also acted negligently, fraudulently and with gross negligence in their conduct. Each defendant’s private worries were not expressed publicly. In the September 2008 Financial Crisis, Ratings Companies downgraded hundreds of billions worth of Collateralized Debt Obligations, massive dollar amounts of which remained AAA rated up to that point. Significant amounts were not only degraded, but had filed default. Defendants acted, individually and together, in concert, conspiracy and enterprises. One now discovered email reflected the attitude: “Let’s all hope we are all wealthy and retired by the time this house of cards fails.”

6. Defendants’ gross negligence, and intentional torts, including omissions and acts and their toxic product offerings and sales were fraudulent as well as negligent.

7. The Defendants continue in their negligent, grossly negligent and intentional practices described, allowing their greed and egos to dominate their continued, poor decision making. The State's protection of its Quasi Sovereign Interest serves the public's interest in making Wall Street accountable for its actions, past, present and future, and seeks all injunctive relief to which it is entitled, as well as damages, to compensate for harm caused and prevent further damage. Wall Street continues its wrongful activities involving financial products. Texas sues to remedy and prevent further physical and economic injury to its citizenry, the state generally, and its economy and budget. The State is entitled to seek relief. The matters complained of affect her citizens at large. The environment and economy of Texas and the physical, economic and general welfare of its citizens have seriously suffered as a result of the toxic products and activities described. Texas sues for its damages caused by Wall Street's fee-churning, insider-favoring, betting-on-losers default misadventures.

8. The Texas Attorney General, on behalf of the people and State of Texas brings this suit under Texas law and the well recognized doctrine of Quasi Sovereign Interest for the following damages:
A. Money damages to the State of Texas for at least $18 Billion;
B. Requirement that Defendants disgorge their economic benefits, including claw back of any and all bonuses paid since the beginning of the harmful practices outlined;
C. The State's attorneys fees, costs, and expenses;
D. Punitive damages for the outrageous ruinous conduct described. Without the massive damages such as those suffered by Plaintiff, the wrongdoers would never have been caught. No self regulation, governmental regulation, or outside force exposed the wrongdoing. The massive harm (including self destruction) provided no halt to bad business practices. Without punitive damages, the harmful practices will continue into the future, exposing the State and its citizens to further damage.
E. Such other and further relief as to which the State may show itself justly entitled.

Hey Wall Street....

                                                                Sue Wall Street.com

AREA BP

MSNBC--A photographer taking pictures of a BP refinery in Texas was detained by a BP security official, local police and a man who said he was from the Department of Homeland Security, according to ProPublica, a non-profit news organization in the U.S.

HOTDOG MAYHEM

Nathan's annual fourth of July SUSHI eating contest was thrown into chaos today after Joey "Jaws" Chestnuts accidently gobbled his biggest rival, six-time champion Takeout Kobayashi. Surgeons at Coney Island Hospital say there is a 50/50 chance Kobayashi can be safely removed from Joey's stomach today, otherwise they will have to just wait it out...

JOBLESS RECOVERY (12 Months Later)

How To Make an American Job Before It's Too Late:  Andy Grove

Guess what...According to the people who lie with numbers, unemployment has dropped to 9.5%. You know why? Because the workforce has been reduced. You know how? People giving up on searching for jobs. Now I don't have to say what a farce this is do I?

BOOM TOWN

NEED A HAND JOB?

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Independence Day

PROVE IT

PLANNING MAP OF EAST HAMPTON NEW YORK

AMERICAN LIBERTY 2010

THIS SCAM IS YOUR SCAM
(This Land is Your Land, Woody Guthrie)
WilliamBanzai7

Chorus:
This scam is your scam, this scam is my scam
From California, to the New York Island
From the subprime forest, to the gulf's stained waters
This scam was made for you and me

As I was walking a bankster highway
I saw above me a bonus skyway
I saw below me a foreclosure valley
This scam was made for you and me

Chorus

I've roamed and rambled and I've followed Wall Street's footsteps
To the leveraged quick sands of their diamond deserts
And all around me Greenspan's voice was sounding
This scam was made for you and me

Chorus

The asset bubbles rising as I was strolling
The 401ks, your life savings in the dust clouds rolling
The ponzi fog was shifting and a voice come chanting
This scam was made for you and me

Chorus

As I was walkin' - I saw a sign there
And that sign said - no tress passin'
But on the other side .... it said Goldman somethin!
Now that side was'nt made for you and me!

Chorus

In the squares of the city - In the shadow of the steeple
Near the relief office - I see the people
And some are grumblin' and some are wonderin'
If this scam was ever made for you and me.

Chorus (2x)

WASHINGTON MONUMENT

YANKEE SCREW YOU

UNCLE SCAM NEEDS YOU!

BANKER BUG INFESTATION!

BANZAI7 NEWS--Abercrombie & Fitch has found bankers in a second Manhattan store, leading the company's head to implore Mayor Michael Bloomberg for help.

The retailer closed its South Street Seaport location Friday, two days after shuttering its Hollister Epic store in SoHo.

In a letter to Mr. Bloomberg, Abercrombie Chairman and CEO Michael S. Jeffries asked for "leadership and guidance" on how best to address the problem of "the growing infestation of banker's in New York City."

"We made the decision to act with caution by closing both stores to assure we have rid them of the problem. There is a real revenue loss involved in our decision but we felt closing was in the best interest of our customers and associates," the letter said.

Citing the example of AIG, City officials said there was little they could do. "It is the responsibility of companies to handle bankers on their own," said a spokeswoman for the Department of Financial Health and Mental Hygiene.

A MESSAGE FROM CHINA

AMERICAN SUBPRIME

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY WEEKEND

LIAR LIAR

NYP--Yesterday, during a second day of intense testimony in front of the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission, a typically disarming Jim Carey managed to vex a congressional panel set up to investigate the causes of Wall Street's collapse by repeatedly dodging questions about Goldman Squid's derivatives business.

Carey and other Goldman officials claim that the world's most profitable bank is incapable of offering up specifics about its derivatives platform or calculating its size.

"We do not divide revenues or profits between derivative and non-derivative products or track or report our financial results that way," Carey said yesterday in a tense exchange with FCIC Commissioner Brooksley Born.

WB7: This explains how they knew with such certainty that they were "fully hedged" when AIG blew up. They made it all up!

WORLD'S LARGEST SKIMMING VESSEL ARRIVES IN GULF

BANZAI7 NEWS--In a dramatic development, the world's largest skimming vessel has arrived in the Gulf. Although the "skimmer", also known as the Bailout Whale, has only been field tested skimming clients and Uncle Sam's wallet, government scientists are hopeful that it will be equally effective skimming oil. Cleanup engineer Gus S Tarball said: If this thing sucks oil anywheres near how it sucked money out of AIG, we will be sittin purdy in no time a'tall.

If this latest plan fails, BP scientists have suggested that Barney Frank and Christopher Dodd could also be effective skimmers if they can suck oil like they suck lobbyists.