CHUCK GRINCH

The Prince of CITI who liked Subprime alot!

TINY TIMMY GEITHNER

"Come tip toe through the AIG excrement with me."

GORDON GE-KRAVIS

"I created nothing I own..."

HEEEEEERE'S PANDIT!

PEE WEE SPITZER

"I want everybody in bed by 7:00!"

TRAVIS FULD

"Are you talking to me?

COMMISSIONER COX'S WORLD

"Partytime--Excellent!"

FORMER TREASURY SECRETARY CURLY

Secretary Curly: "You know I'm tempermental"
Moe Bernanke: "Yeah, 95% temper, 5% mental"

Norton, I'm the boss around here and you--had better get used to it!

Ken Kramden

JOHN THAIN NORTON

As we say in the sewer: When the tides of life upset you
And threaten to capsize your boat
Don't waste those tears on what might have been
Just lay on your back and float.

Michael Cayne

WHERE THE TARP MONEY WENT

Here are the six Merrill bankers subpoenaed by Andrew Cuomo.

Andrea Orcel, head of international corporate and investment banking, received $33.8m. David Gu, head of global rates and currencies, received $18.7m. David Goodman, co-head of global commodities, received $16.5m. David Sobotka, head of global proprietary trading, was paid $13m. Fares Noujaim, head of operations in the Middle East and Africa, got a bonus of $15m. And Thomas Montag, global head of sales and trading, received $39.4m.

Draw your own conclusion.

THE ORACLE

ALL WORK NO PLAY MAKES HENRY KRAVIS A DULL BOY

KEN FRANKENTHAIN

LEVERAGED YODA

BERNIE GREENSPAN

KARL BERNANKE

Dick (Chewy) Fuld

Sandy Bandit/Vikram Weill

Sanford Madoff/Bernie Weill

Bernie Greenberg/ aka Hank Madoff

Chew-Bernanke

All Work No Play Makes Hank A Dull Boy

THE MOTHER OF ALL ENRONS

"If there is a single episode in this entire 18 months that has made me more angry, I can’t think of one other than AIG”

Ben Bernanke

“AIG is a huge, complex, global insurance company attached to a very complicated investment bank, hedge fund that was allowed to build up without any adult supervision,” Geithner said yesterday during testimony to the House Ways and Means Committee.

Timothy Geitner

Here is the Complaint just recently filed by Hank Greenberg against AIG (irony of ironies). It does a fine job of laying out how AIG management recklessly mismanaged its CDS and and CDO portfolio and then made fraudulent and misleading statements regarding the extent of its exposure to derivative losses, what we now know to be the AIG blackhole. (http://www.scribd.com/doc/12965982/Greenberg-vs-AIG)

Forget about "to Bail or not to Bail" for a moment. Why is the US government not acting to prosecute the perpetrators of the mother of all Enrons? What is the SEC doing? With a complaint crafted by Greenberg's fine Wall Street lawyers, who needs whistle blowers?

Maybe we should all ask our Congressmen.

WilliamBanzai7

BOHEMIAN BAILOUT AIG

BOHEMIAN BAILOUT A.I.G.
(Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPnw8Z8Z00E

Is this the real world-
Is this warped bailout fantasy-
Caught in a market dive-
Lets all escape from financial reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the TARP bailout skies and see-
We're just a poorly managed sham, we need financial sympathy-
Because its easy come,easy go,
Trade a little high,little low,
Anyway the market winds blow, doesnt really matter to AIG,
To AIG

Obama, just watched the AIG bailout scam,
Put a derivative gun against Uncle Sam's head,
Pulled the trigger, now the deficits red,
Obama, your Presidential term had just begun,
But now the TARP money's gone and Geithner's thrown it all away-
Obama ooo,
Did'nt mean to make you cry-
If the DOW is not back this time tomorrow-
Carry on, carry on, as if moral hazard dosnt really matter-

Too late, our time may have come,
Spending taxpayer nickels and dimes-
Wallets aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody-this bailout scams got to go-
Gotta leave this joke behind and face the truth-
Obama ooo- (any way the market wind blows)
The economy may have to dive,
Sometimes its like Adam Smith was never born at all-

I see a little silhouetto of a bailout man,
Alan Greenspan, Alan Greenspan come and do the bailout tango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-
Asset Bubble
Asset Bubble
Market maestro-magnifico-
Im just a greedy Wall Street con man and nobody loves me-
Hes just a Wall Street con man with an Ivy League pedigree-
Spare him his life from Chapter 11 insolvency-
Bailout easy come easy go-,will you give me bailout dough-
Bismillah! no,we will not give him bailout dough-let him go-
Bismillah! no, we will give him more bailout dough- don't let him go
Bismillah! we will not give you bailout dough-let you go
Will not let you go-let him go
Will let you go won't let him go
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Obama mia, Obama mia AIG let them go-
Beelzebub has a devil put money aside for A, for I, for GGGGGGGGG-

So you think you can scam us and spit in our taxpayer eyes-
So you think you can shtup us and leave us to die-
Oh baby-cant do this to us baby-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here-

In the end
Nothing really matters,
Only AIG and rampant greed,
Nothing really matters-,nothing really matters but greed,

Thats the way the Wall Street wind blows....

LET IT SNOW AS THE DOW GOES UP IN SMOKE
WilliamBanzai7

Oh the weather outside is delightful
But the markets just so frightful
And since it has no place to go but low
Let It Snow! As the Dow goes up in smoke!

The Bailout madness shows no signs of stopping
And AIG's billion dollar losses just keep on popping
So turn the thermostat way down low
Let It Snow! As the Dow goes up in smoke!

Warren says we can kiss our asses goodbye
But how I'd hate going down on the fly!
So if we put up a real good fight
All through this storm we'll be warm tonight!

The markets are slowly diving
And, your ears can hear all the Bulls crying
And as your 401(k) goes up in smoke
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

THE MIGHTY BAILOUT TIM
(The Mighty Quinn, Bob Dylan)
WiliamBanzai7

Ev'rybody's bailing AIG and the big banks run by dopes,
Some are building lucite monuments,
Others, jotting down insolent notes,
Ev'rybody's in despair,
Ev'ry girl and boy
But when Tim the Bailout Eskimo gets here,
Ev'rybody's gonna jump for joy.
Come all without, come all within,
You'll not hear nothing like Geithners bailout spin.

I like to do just like the rest, I like my portfolio nice and neat,
But guarding opaque financial fumes and chump trade waste,
It ain't my cup of meat.
Ev'rybody's 'neath the lemon tree,
Feeding Ponzi pigeons on a limb
But when Tim the Bailout Eskimo gets here,
All the pigeons gonna run to him.
Come all without, come all within,
You'll not hear nothing like Geithner's bailout spin.

Now Livermore trading maxims ain't gonna do, I can't recite 'em all,
Just tell me where it hurts,
And I'll tell you who to call.
Nobody can get no sleep,
There's financial excrement on ev'ryone's feet
But when Tim the Eskimo gets here,
Ev'rybody's gonna wanna another bailout dose.
Come all without, come all within,
You'll not hear nothing like the mighty bailout Tim.

BANZAI7 WORLDWIDE NEWS WATCH

March 2, 2009

WASHINGTON - The following joint statement was issued on Monday by the Treasury and the Federal Reserve on American liquidation Group:

The U.S. Treasury Department and the Federal Reserve Board today announced yet another restructuring of the government's assistance to AIG in order to cover this frightening intergalactic financial blackhole in a manner that yet again extorts the helpless US taxpayer. Specifically, the government's restructuring is designed to prop up this failed sorry excuse of a company while facilitating the orderly completion of the AIG global garage sale.

The company continues to face significant challenges, primarily driven by the rapid deterioration in the financial markets largely caused by its own reckless stupidity and the continued turbulence in the markets also caused by its own reckless stupidity. The additional resources will help stabilize the company until its next quarterly TARP fix, and in doing so further destabilizing the already destabilized financial system.

As significantly, the restructuring components of the government's assistance begin to separate the rotten dog and catfood lines of AIG, as well as unravel the twisted opaque intestinal blockage constituting the company's finances. The long long long long-term solution for the company, its fleeing customers, the fleeced U.S. taxpayer, and the discombobulated global financial system is the rapid recombobulation and capitalist re-education of the firm. This will take a long long long long time and quite probably more and more and more government support, since markets are not going to stabilize or improve in the near near near term.

Given the doomsday risk AIG continues to pose and the fragility of markets today, the potential cost to the economy and the taxpayer of government action will be extremely higher than government inaction. AIG provides insurance protection to more than 100,000 entities (god save their souls), including fledgling small businesses, insolvent municipalities, 401(cents) plans, and Fortune 5 companies who together employ over 100 million furious Americans. AIG has over 30 million policyholders in the U.S. and is a major source of layoff insurance for, among others, underpaid teachers and Madoff fleeced non-profit organizations (god save all of them). Most importantly the company also is a significant counterparty to Goldman Sachs, Goldman Sachs, a number of major European financial institutions as well as Goldman Sachs.

AIG operates in over 130 countries with over 400 dimwitted regulators and the company and its juggernaut of regulated and unregulated subsidiaries are subject to a plethora of impotent resolution frameworks across their broad and diverse operations without a single viable resolution mechanism. Within the few options available, the restructuring plan offers a multi-part approach which we hope and pray every night brings forward the ultimate resolution of the company, has received feeble acquiesence from key stakeholders and the seal of approval of the useless rating agencies that helped create this fiasco, and hopefully provides the possible protection for taxpayers in connection with this commitment of resources at this moment in time.

The steps announced today provide tangible evidence of the U.S. government's commitment to the baiout of AIG time and time again in the face of the certainty of further market dislocations and economic deterioration. Orderly restructuring is essential to AIG's repayment of the ransom it has received from U.S. taxpayers and to hopefully preserving financial stability. The U.S. government is committed to continuing to bail AIG to maintain its ability to generate more and more obligations as they come due.

Treasury has stated that public ownership of financial institutions is not a policy goal but a reality and, to the extent public ownership is an outcome of Treasury actions, as it has been with AIG, it will work to reprivatise State owned enterprises to create business for unemployed bankers as soon as possible.

HARD DAY'S BAILOUT FRIGHT
(Hard Day's Night, the Beatles)
WilliamBanzai7

Another bailout fright, Geithner's been working like a dog
Another bailout fright,
My head is spinning in the bailout fog
And when they tax it to you,
you'll wonder how many times can you get screwed
Will make you feel nauseous all night

You know you work all day to get the money to pay your way
And is it worth it to you
When they say they're going to bail everything every which way
But here on bailout earth should you moan, 'cause when they give out those bailout loans
You won't feel ok
When they're gone everything seems it to be right
But when they're here they're stealing everything in plain sight
Yeah...

Another bailout friight, and
AIG and CITI are squealing like ugly rotten bailout hogs
Another bailout fright, Uncle Sam is flying in the bailout smog
But when they stick it to you'll find the things that they do
will make you feel nauseous all night
You know you'll feel nauseous all night
You know you'll feel nauseous all night

BANZAI7 NEWS WATCH--AIG CAN BUILD A FINANCIAL ATOMIC BOMB

MARCH 1, 2009

WASHINGTON — The United States now believes that American International Group has amassed enough weapons grade credit default derivatives material that with further putrification could be used to build a financial atomic bomb (FAB), a spokesman for the Pentagon/Treasury Department FWMD joint task force declared Sunday.

The statement went further than previous, official judgments of the AIG FAB threat, and it essentially confirmed a new report by the United Nations FWMD watchdog agency, which found that AIG had enough derivative materials to build a global financial doomsday device. “We think they do, quite frankly,” the representative said on “State of the Union” on CNBC. “And AIG having a financial nuclear weapon, I’ve believed for a long time, is a very, very bad outcome for the US economy and for the world.”

DON'T BUY THE AIG LIDDYWORST
(Shticks of One Kind and Half Dozen of the Other, Allen Sherman)
WilliamBanzai7

He wheels his AIG wheelbarrow
Through downtown streets that are so narrow,
The barrow is narrow, but the losses are too wide.
So wherever he wheels it,
The markets flee it,
This AIG dog keeps scraping the bottom on all sides.
In New York's fair city,
Where the banks are such a pity,
That AIG folly stands out 'cause its Uncle Sams $180 billion bailout jolly.
I dont mind the bailout fat--but,
It's not only that--but,
It's Hank Greenberg's rotten systemic risk baloney.
I know a man, his name is Liddy,
And he has a neon for sale sign.
And Mister Liddy is gettin very old,
So they call it Old Liddy's Sign.
Oh what have you done, Willumstead, Willumstead.
Oh what have you done, charming Willy.
They took almost every TARP cent
From the U.S. Government,
Which you're company spent on subprime fertilizer, which is silly.
All day, all night, you can hear Greenberg rant.
That's all we hear is the Greenberg rant.
What follishness can he do that Martin Sullivan can't?
Big deal, big Starr, the Greenberg rant .
Oh the moon is bright tonight upon Timmy Geithner's bailout car wash.
So AIG's getting washed again.
But the way things are going, with, the way their luck is,
Just as soon as they're finished, it will rain more toxic losses.
On top of Old Smoky,
All covered with hair,
Of course I'm referring
To Smoky The Market Bear.
Every time you take Geithner's bailout vaccine,
Take it orally.
As you know the other way
Is more painfully.
My grandma's portfolio was the best ever made
By the Madoff company.
Just like the 2009 outlook Martin Sullivan displayed
One night on CNBC.
Oh our models work so perfectly,
They make a ticking sound.
Ya just like a time fused derivative bomb,
And that's how AIG drowned.
Do not make a stingy bailout sandwich.
Pile the dodgy assets high.
Customers should see stale subprime salami,
Coming through the moldy CDS rye.
Oh we can diet all day and we can diet all night,
It's enough to drive us bats.
Got no financial gravy or potatoes,
'Cause the whole refrigerator's
Fulla securitised subprime chazer (note:yiddish for pig remains).
Fare thee well, Goldman, Lehman, Bear Stearns, Merrill
And the others of that ilk.
Let the financial diet start tomorrow,
'Cause today we drown in our sorrows
In a triple malted bailout milk.
When you go to the AIG bailout store,
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
I repeat what I just said before,
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Oh buy the AIA beef if you must,
The Alico herring you can trust,
And the IFLC lox puts you in orbit AOK.
But that big hunk of Liddywurst
Has been there since last October First,
And today is FEBRUARY 28.
So when you go to the AIG bailout store,
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
It'll make your insides awful sore.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.

Questions for Warren:

THE ANSWER WARREN MY FRIEND, IS BLOWIN IN THE WIND
(Blowin in the Wind, Bob Dylan)
WilliamBanzai7

How many points must the DOW slide down
Before it's safe to buy once again ?
Yes, n how many zombie banks must Uncle Sam bail
Before the Federal budget sinks in the deficit quicksand?
Yes, n how many times must FWMD cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer, Warren my friend, is blowin in the wind,
The answer is blowin in the wind.

How many times must investors look up
Before they can see the Ponzi blue sky?
Yes, n how many ears must the SEC have
Before it can hear the whistle blowers's cry?
Yes, n how many financial disasters will it take till it knows
That too many greedy CEO's have lied?
The answer, Warren my friend, is blowin in the wind,
The answer is blowin in the wind.

How many years can a bloated asset bubble exist
Before its washed to the bear market sea?
Yes, n how many years can free markets exist
Before they're consumed by Wall Street hubris and greed?
Yes, n how many times can a man turn his 401(k) head,
Pretending he just doesnt see?
The answer, Warren my friend, is blowin in the wind,
The answer is blowin in the wind.

MEET THE BLACKSTONES
(Meet the Flintstones)
WilliamBanzai7

Blackstones. Meet the Blackstones. They’re a delayed fuse Wall Street tragedy.
From the town of Debt Shlock, they’re a page right out of asset bubble history.

Let’s ride with Steve Schwarzman down the street.
Through the courtesy of Alan Greenstones leveraged feat.

If you're dime's with the Blackstones, you’ll wait a long time. A long long long time.
You'll wait a long long long long time.