DON'T BUY THE AIG LIDDYWORST
(Shticks of One Kind and Half Dozen of the Other, Allen Sherman)
WilliamBanzai7

He wheels his AIG wheelbarrow
Through downtown streets that are so narrow,
The barrow is narrow, but the losses are too wide.
So wherever he wheels it,
The markets flee it,
This AIG dog keeps scraping the bottom on all sides.
In New York's fair city,
Where the banks are such a pity,
That AIG folly stands out 'cause its Uncle Sams $180 billion bailout jolly.
I dont mind the bailout fat--but,
It's not only that--but,
It's Hank Greenberg's rotten systemic risk baloney.
I know a man, his name is Liddy,
And he has a neon for sale sign.
And Mister Liddy is gettin very old,
So they call it Old Liddy's Sign.
Oh what have you done, Willumstead, Willumstead.
Oh what have you done, charming Willy.
They took almost every TARP cent
From the U.S. Government,
Which you're company spent on subprime fertilizer, which is silly.
All day, all night, you can hear Greenberg rant.
That's all we hear is the Greenberg rant.
What follishness can he do that Martin Sullivan can't?
Big deal, big Starr, the Greenberg rant .
Oh the moon is bright tonight upon Timmy Geithner's bailout car wash.
So AIG's getting washed again.
But the way things are going, with, the way their luck is,
Just as soon as they're finished, it will rain more toxic losses.
On top of Old Smoky,
All covered with hair,
Of course I'm referring
To Smoky The Market Bear.
Every time you take Geithner's bailout vaccine,
Take it orally.
As you know the other way
Is more painfully.
My grandma's portfolio was the best ever made
By the Madoff company.
Just like the 2009 outlook Martin Sullivan displayed
One night on CNBC.
Oh our models work so perfectly,
They make a ticking sound.
Ya just like a time fused derivative bomb,
And that's how AIG drowned.
Do not make a stingy bailout sandwich.
Pile the dodgy assets high.
Customers should see stale subprime salami,
Coming through the moldy CDS rye.
Oh we can diet all day and we can diet all night,
It's enough to drive us bats.
Got no financial gravy or potatoes,
'Cause the whole refrigerator's
Fulla securitised subprime chazer (note:yiddish for pig remains).
Fare thee well, Goldman, Lehman, Bear Stearns, Merrill
And the others of that ilk.
Let the financial diet start tomorrow,
'Cause today we drown in our sorrows
In a triple malted bailout milk.
When you go to the AIG bailout store,
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
I repeat what I just said before,
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Oh buy the AIA beef if you must,
The Alico herring you can trust,
And the IFLC lox puts you in orbit AOK.
But that big hunk of Liddywurst
Has been there since last October First,
And today is FEBRUARY 28.
So when you go to the AIG bailout store,
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
It'll make your insides awful sore.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.
Don't buy the Liddyworst.