Not So Flattering Information on Goldman Sachs

can be viewed here: http://www.goldmansachs666.com/

YO HO HO

YO HO HO AND THE BAILOUT SCUM
(Deadman's Chest)
WilliamBanzai7

This here world is one big treasure hunt
For Somali Pirates and Banker Bailout Scum
Bankers and tankers and the devil done for the rest
Yo ho ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Bums.

Pinstriped dogs plundering Paulsens's TARP
Somali lowlife's cruising Donzis n living high on the hog
An AK47, a cutless, a GPS
A CDO, a SIV, a CDS
Yo Ho Ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Scum

A Bankers creed is a creed of greed
A pirates creed is take what you need
Bankers and pirates are one of a kind
Take what you want and screw who you like;
Yo ho ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Scum

Is it better to be done in by a pin striped goon or a scurvey ridden scrum?
Better yet, a Somalian trader pushing securitized Wall Street dung!
Lets pump AIG and send Detroit the crumbs!
Lets steal the crude from those Arabian skunks!

Yo ho ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Scum!

ARRRGHHHH!

SCENES FROM AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT (WALL STREET VERSION)

NYT--Jozef Juck figured he would get lots of applications from people wanting to work at his new restaurant, Montenapo, which will be opening right here in The New York Times Building in the coming days.

But not 700. And not from so many former bankers, commercial real estate brokers and professors who, until recently, had pretty illustrious careers.



SCENES FROM AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT (WALL STREET VERSION)
(Billy Joel)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDvytBCh3

A bottle of white, a bottle of red
Perhaps a bottle of rosé instead
We'll work a table near Wall Street
Near our old familiar place
Pie in the sky-what a disgrace hm, hm
A bottle of red, a bottle of white
It all depends upon your appetite
I'll meet you any time you want
Busing dishes in an Italian Restaurant.
Things are okay with me these days
I got a real job, without a downtown address
I got a new wife, got a new life
And the family is fine
Oh we lost touch long ago
You lost weight - I did not know
you could ever look so nice after so much time.
Do you remember those days hanging out on the high finance scene?
Ferragamo boots, Versace jackets and Escada blue jeans
Oh you drop a dime in the box play a song about pre-Katrina New Orleans
Cold Clicquot, hot lights, sweet romantic banker nights ooh, ooh
Oh, oh, oh, oh…..
Brenda and Eddie were the popular steadies
And the king and the queen of the Banker Ball
Riding around with the Ferrari top down and the satellite radio on
Nobody looked any finer
Or was more of a hit as they sped past the Hampton Bays Diner
We never knew we could want more than that out of life
Surely Brenda and Eddie would always know how to survive.
Oh, oh, oh, oh…..
Brenda and Eddie were still going steady in the securitised subprime summer of '2005
When they decided the marriage would be at the end of July
Everyone said they were crazy
"Brenda you know that you think life's much too easy
and Eddie thought he could afford to live that kind of life."
Oh, but there we were wavin' Brenda and Eddie goodbye.
Oh, oh, oh
Well they got a Park Avenue apartment with over priced Persian rugs
And a collection of Post Modernist paintings from Sotheby's and Christies
A faux King Louis bed that they bought with the bonus bread
They had saved since the end of last year
but they started to fight when the bonus money got tight
And they just thought it would reappear.
Oh, oh yeah rock 'n roll
Oh, oh, oh
Well, they lived for a while in Madison Avenue style
But it's always the same in the end
They got an uptown divorce as a matter of course
And they parted the closest of friends
Then the king and the queen went back to GAP blue jeans
But you could never go back there again
Oh, oh
Brenda and Eddie had had it already by the securitised subprime summer of '2005
From the high to the low to the end of the show
For the rest of their lives
They couldn't go back to being leveraged Wall Street fleecers
The best they could do was pick up their pieces
We always knew they would both find a way to get by
Oh and that's all I heard about Brenda and Eddie
Can't tell you more 'cause I've told you already
And here we are wavin' Brenda and Eddie goodbye
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Yeah
A bottle of red, a bottle of white
It all depends upon your appetite
We'll meet you any time you want
Bankers busing in an Italian Restaurant.

On NYT Dealbook:

WilliamBanzai7, excellent rendition of Billy Joel’s Scenes From an Italian Restarant!!
I love that song and keep reminding people of that song everytime I want to teach them lessons of this massive credit bust.
As a management consultant, I saw this crisis coming and kept telling people about it. Of course not enough people listened, but hey, I can always keep quoting this!
Qaiser Crackerjack

— Posted by Qaiser Crackerjack

RETURN OF FORTUNATE SON

RETURN OF FORTUNATE SON (2009)
(Fortunate Son, Creedence Clearwater Revival)
WilliamBanzai7

Some folks get bailed waving the TARP flag,
Ooh, theyre red, white and blue fools.
And when the band plays bail to the cheat,
Ooh, they point the bailout cannon at you, lord,

It aint me, it aint me, I aint no billion dollar con, son.
It aint me, it aint me; I aint no fortunate one, no,

Yeah!
Some folks are born with a gold plated tin cup in hand,
Lord, dont they help themselves, oh.
But when the taxman comes to the door,
Lord, your house looks like a rummage sale, yes,

It aint me, it aint me, I aint no billion dollar son, no.
It aint me, it aint me; I aint no fortunate one, no.

Some folks inherit $tar $pangled eyes,
Ooh, they send you down to the unemployment door, lord,
And when you ask them, how much do I have to give?
Ooh, they only answer more! more! more! yoh,

It aint me, it aint me, I aint no billion dollar con, son.
It aint me, it aint me; I aint no fortunate one, one.

It aint me, it aint me, I aint no fortunate one, no no no,
It aint me, it aint me, I aint no fortunate son, no no no,

WHO KILLED BIG AUTO?

WHO KILLED BIG AUTO
(Who Killed Davey Moore?, Bob Dylan)
WilliamBanzai7 Blog

Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62daicHQ9as

Who killed the BIG AUTO?,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not I," says the FECKLESS MOTOWN CEO ,
"Don't point your finger at me.
I could've retooled it to much better CAFE rate
An' maybe kept it from this fate,
But the customers and dealers would've booed, I'm sure,
At not gettin' their money's worth.
It's too bad it had to go,
But there was a pressure on me too, you know.
It wasn't me that made it fall.
No, you can't blame me at all."

Who killed BIG AUTO ,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not us," says the URBAN SUV WARRIOR CROWD,
Whose off road dreams created one big greenhouse gas cloud.
"It's too bad it died alright
But we just love that high line of sight.
We didn't mean for it to meet this death,
We just wanted a safe ride instead,
There ain't nothing wrong in that.
It wasn't us that made it fall.
No, you can't blame us at all."

Who killed BIG AUTO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not we," says the politician,
Puffing on a BIG OIL private label cigar.
"It's hard to say, it's hard to tell,
I always thought that BIG AUTO was well.
It's too bad for Detroit City its dead,
But if it was sick, they should've said.
It wasn't me that made it fall.
No, you can't blame me at all."

Who killed BIG AUTO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not we," say the GAMBLING SHAREHOLDERS and BONDHOLDERS,
With their proxies and coupons still in their hands.
"It wasn't us that knocked it down,
We always thought the Directors would do what needed to be done.
We didn't commit no ugly sin,
Anyway, we put money on it to win.
It wasn't us that made it fall.
No, you can't blame us at all."

Who killed the BIG AUTO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not me," says the UAW NEGOTIATOR,
Surfing for member benefits like a used lemon trader,
Sayin', "Unions ain't to blame,
There's always legacy costs built in the automotive game."
Sayin', "Big labor is here to stay,
It's just the good old American way.
It wasn't me that made him fall.
No, you can't blame me at all."

Who killed BIG AUTO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not we," say the JAPANESE whose well managed fists
Laid it low in a cloud of hybrids and "kaizen" mist,
Who came here after the Second World War
Where efficient design was shown Motown's back door.
"We hit em, we hit em, yes, it's true,
But that's what global competition is meant to do.
Don't say 'murder,' don't say 'kill.'
It was engineering destiny, it was divine will."

Who killed the BIG AUTO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

MEET THE FLINT SHMO

MEET THE FLINT SHMO (ODE TO RICK)
(Flintstones)
WilliamBanzai7

Flint Shmo. Meet the Flint Shmo.
He's a page out of modern bailout history.
Automotive bedrock,
Now he's driven them to insolvency.

Let's ride in that gas guzzling HUMVEE.
Through the courtesy of Wagoneer and Lutz's feet.

When you're with the Flint Shmo
you'll have a yabba dabba union time.
A dab bondholder time.
You'll have yet another bailout crime!

ONE LAST CHANCE

ONE LAST CHANCE (BIG AUTO)
(One Last Chance, James Morrison)
WilliamBanzai7



In the automotive world we don't mean much to anyone
We've lost our way can't go back anymore
Once we had everything now it's gone
Don't tell us again coz we've heard it all before

Some people say that we're not worth it
We've made mistakes but nobody's perfect
Guess we'll give it a try

We've got one last chance to get ourselves together
We can't lose billions no more, it's now or never and we try to remember who we used to be
We've got one last chance to get ourselves together

The time has come for us to change again
We can't carry on like this, we face extinction - don't say that you have given up on us
Just give us the time please to shoot our shareholders, unions and bondholders in the head

We don't wanna be misunderstood
We've got to take this chance and make it into something good

THE ANSWER IS THROW EM IN THE BIN

THE ANSWER IS THROW EM IN THE BIN (Ode to Big Auto)
(Blowing in the Wind, Bob Dylan)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ced8o50G9kg

How many times must Big Auto beg for cash
Before you tell them to scram?
Yes, n how many bailout bucks must get squandered and trashed
Before they seep into the Arabian sand?
Yes, n how many gas hogs should we allow to drive by
Before theyre forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is throw em in the bin,
The answer is throw em in the bin.

How many times must the bondholders cry
Before we explode their bailout pie in the sky?
Yes, n how many inches must John Dingell's nose grow
Before he can admit its a huge sham?
Yes, n how many Prius' and Lexus' must we buy
Before we admit MOTOWN died long ago?
The answer, my friend, is throw em in the bin,
The answer is throw em in the bin.

How many years can Detroit's unionized brontosaurs persist
Before their washed to the sea?
Yes, n how many years can General Motors clunkers exist
After all they're rusty and cheap.
Yes, n how many times can Joe Consumer turn his head,
Pretending he just doesnt see?
The answer, my friend, is throw em in the bin,
The answer is throw em in the bin.

INCOGNITO BAILOUT SUM

SIGN OF THE TIMES

The Quiet Coup

Here is a juicy morsel from "The Quiet Coup", a chilling indictment of our dysfunctional financial system and the lame attempts to fix it.

"To ensure systematic bank breakup, and to prevent the eventual reemergence of dangerous behemoths, we also need to overhaul our antitrust legislation. Laws put in place more than 100 years ago to combat industrial monopolies were not designed to address the problem we now face. The problem in the financial sector today is not that a given firm might have enough market share to influence prices; it is that one firm or a small set of interconnected firms, by failing, can bring down the economy."

The link is in Banzai7 Whats Hot.

WHATS A MATTA AIU?

NEW YORK, (Reuters) - Workmen rolled up their sleeves at American International Group Inc (AIG.N) this weekend to take down the most prominent sign at the downtown Manhattan offices of the embattled insurer that has become the scorn of America.

A spokesman said the company had decided to replace the large AIG sign -- outside the entrance to its property-casualty offices -- as part of its plan to change that operation's name to AIU Holdings Ltd.

The move is designed to "distinguish these well-capitalized businesses from AIG," said a second spokesman.

Fooled you again!



AIU SHADDUP YOU FACE!
(Shaddup You Face, Joe Dolce)
William a Banzai7

'Allo, I'm-Mr AIG, I got-a something special-a for you, ready
Uno, duo, tre, quatro
When I was a good a boy, just about the eighth-a grade
Mamma used to say always play it safe
With the bad-a boys, always trade-a straight game
Mr AIG going to break a all a da financial rules

Boy, it make-a me sick, all the t'ing I gotta do
I can't-a get-a no kicks, always got to follow a stupid financial rules
Boy, it make-a me sick, just to make-a lousy insurance bucks
Got to feel-a like a fool and-a mama used to say all-a time

What's-a matter A I U Hey! Gotta no respect
What-a you t'ink you do? Why you look-a so sad
It's-a just so bad, it's-a stupid-a disgrace
Ah, shaddap-a you face

That's-a my mama, I can remember
Big accordion solo
Ah! Play dat again, Really nice, really nice

Soon-a come-a day, gonna be a big-a Wall Street dick
Den make-a CNBC TV shows and-a movies, dats the trick
Get-a myself a new town car, but still I be an insurance clown
I don't want-a to change a t'ing, still a-dance and a-sing that Wall Street thing
I t'ink about-a mama, she used to say

What's a matter A I U Hey! Gotta no respect
What-a you t'ink you do Why you look-a so sad
It's-just so bad, it's-a stupid-a disgrace
Ah, shaddap-a you face

Mama, she said it all-a da time
What's-a matter A I U Hey Gotta no respect
What-a you t'ink you do Why you look-a so sad
It's-a just so bad, it's-a stupida-a disgrace
Ah, shaddap-a you face
That s-a my mama

Hello, everybody!
'At's out-a dere in-a radio and-a TV land
Did you know I made a dumb CDS trade-on a Wall Street
Shaddap-a you face
I sing-a dis-a song, all-a my fans applaud
Dey clap-a da hands, dat-a make me feel-a so good
You ought to learn-a dis-a song, it's-a real-a simple
See, I sing: what's-a matter you You sing Hey
Den I sing-a da rest and den at de end, we can all-a sing:
Ah, Shaddap-a you face! O.k., let's-a try it, really big

Uno, duo, tre, quatro
What's-a matter A I U Hey Gotta no respect Hey
What-a you t'ink you Hey do Why you look-a so sad Hey
It's-a just so bad Hey it's-a stupida-disgrace
Ah, shaddap-a you face
OK one more-a time for mama
What's-a matter A I U Hey Gotta no respect Hey
What-a you t'ink you Hey do Why you look-a so sad Hey
It's-a just so so bad Hey it's-a stupida-disgrace
Ah, shaddap-a you face

I DON'T LIKE BAILOUT MONDAYS

I DON'T LIKE BAILOUT MONDAYS
(I Don't Like Mondays, Boomtown Rats)
WilliamBanzai7

The securitization chip inside is dead
Got switched to subprime overload
And nobody’s gonna go to MBA school today
Gotta make them all stay at home
And daddy doesn’t understand it
He always said Wall Street was good as gold
And he can see theres no bonus season
'Cos there are no good reasons
What reason do you need to be show-ow-ow-ow-own?

Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot the whole Wall Street model down

The Reuters screen is kept so clean
And it cries to the trading world
And mother feels so shocked
Father’s world is rocked
And their thoughts turn to their own little girl
MBA dreams ain’t that peachy keen
Now that ain’t so neat to admit defeat
They can see no reasons
'Cos there are no reasons
What reasons do you need?
Oh Oh Oh Oh

Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot
The whole Wall Street model down, down, down, shoot it all down

And all the playing's stopped in the Wall Street playground now
She just wants to play with the toys a while
And MBA school's out early and soon we'll be learning
And the lesson today is how not to fly high
And then the bullhorn crackles
And the captain tackles
(With the problems of the how's and why's)
And he can see no reasons
'Cos there are no reasons
What reason do you need to cry, cry?
Oh Oh Oh

Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like
I don’t like (Tell me why)
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like
I don’t like (Tell me why)
I don’t like Bailout Mondays
Tell me why
I don't like Bailout Mondays
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot the whole Wall Street model down

Lookin Like Money in da House

object width="425" height="344">




LOOK LIKE MONEY (Wall Street Version)
(Look Like Money, Yung Ralph)
Young WilliamBanzai7

Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money
Everywhere I go and everyway I be
I be talkin like I'm Cramer on tha CNBC
Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money
Pull up at tha Club 21
Man what a shmo
Fresh outfit in my Lobb's and Saville Ro
Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money

[Verse 1:]
Man my traders got their hedge on tha beat
Bail me 16 billion I'll leave a stain on tha street
My wallets so swoll up it needs slim fast
Got weight Neva been shot, I'm a banksta badass
I walk around with subprime crack in my bag
One call I can to da Fed gets rid of it real fast
Man I came up quick fo tha TARP
Got a whole lotta roll thanks to all them AIG saps
Now look at my ride u can tells thats money
And I look walk talk even smell like money
I stay down
Make quick derivative flips
No gas when I talk about OTC dips
If ya talkin dollars
Then im down with it
Like low let's get get get it
If I get a ticket it's all on me
Clevanaire jumbaroda Chelsey hoes on me

[Hook:]
Everywhere I go and everyway I be
I talk like I'm Cramer on tha CNBC
Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money
Pull up at tha Club 21
Man what a shmo
Fresh outfit in my Lobb's and Saville Ro
Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money

[Verse 2:]
A hater brogue to small for my feet
Them DC pols can't pi$$ what I drank they can't $hit what I eat
With my paypa moves known all ova tha Street
Subprime ride rims way older then me
This for them Main Streeters that be hatin on me
Walkin round holdin nuts conversation on me
About yo bitchin you can all go trout fishin
Treat em like school give a early dismissal
Big banksta No 1's and a trading pistol
Smoke CDO thrax roll it over in king size tranches
Check my swag I got faux AAA flavor
Call me a quantitative bangsta cause I got that crap paypa!

[Hook:]
Everywhere I go and everyway I be
I talk like I'm Cramer on tha CNBC
Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money
Pull up at tha Club 21
Man what a shmo
Fresh outfit in my Lob's and Saville Ro
Cause I look like money
Smell like money
Talk like money even walk like money

Like money
Like money
Like money
Cause I look like money
Like money
Like money
Like money
Cause I look like money

E Pluribus Frog

BANZAI7 RESEARCH INSTITUTE: Banzai7 researchers have concluded that the subliminal effects of early morning cartoons may provide one explanation for the behavior of Wall Street CEOs.

FREE MARKET BALONEY

REGULATORY REVOLUTION

REGULATORY REVOLUTION
(Revolution, John Lennon, The Beatles)
WilliamBanzai7

Regulatory Revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the banking world
You tell me that it's toxic asset pollution
Well, you know
We all want to change the banking world
But when you talk about economic destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right

You say Geithner's got a real solution
Well, you know
We'd all love to see the plan
You ask taxpayers for a contribution
Well, you know
We're just bailing everything we can
But when you want money
for bankers that that bait n steal
All I can tell is brother you better change the deal
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right
Ah

ah, ah, ah, ah, ah...

You say you'll stop the financial contagion
Well, you know
We all want to kill it dead
You tell me it's just systemic institutions
Well, you know
You better clear your free market head instead
And if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Dow
You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right
all right, all right, all right
all right, all right, all right

THE COMING DISASTER IN THE DERIVATIVES MARKET

This is a piece that was written in November 2005. Wow, talk about I told you so.

http://www.safehaven.com/article-4096.htm

UNITED STATES TREASURY REGULATORY REFORM FACT SHEET

Reg Reform Fact Sheet/March 2009

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Academic Work culture facts

I JUST WROTE AIG AN OP-ED LETTER

I JUST WROTE AIG AN OP-ED LETTER
(the Letter, Joe Cocker)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoW81x4j7ow

Gimme a minute to write a $750,000 complaint
Its just a matter of time before I'll find a new game
Fast and easy days are gone, I'm a-goin' home
Hey baby, I just wrote AIG an OP-ED letter

I don't care how much money I get to keep in the end
Got to go back to my savings once again
Fast and easy days are gone, I'm a-goin' home
Hey baby, I just-a wrote AIG an OP-ED letter

Well, I wrote them a letter
Said I couldn't live without my bonus no more
Listen mister, can't you see I can't just give it back
To charity maybe, don't cha wanna hear more?
Anyway, yeah!

Gimme a minute to write a $750,000 complaint
Its just a matter of time before I'll find a new game
Fast and easy days are gone, I'm a-goin' home
Hey baby, I just wrote AIG an OP-ED letter

Well, I wrote them a letter
Said they would have to live without me, ohhhh no!
Listen mister, can't you see I can't just give it back
To charity maybe, don't cha wanna hear more?
Anyway, yeah!

Gimme a minute to write a self servng complaint
Its just a matter of time before I'll find a new game
Fast and easy days are gone, I'm a-goin' home
Hey baby, I just wrote AIG an OP-ED letter
Yours truly,

Jake (Cry me a River)DeSantis
AIG Financial Products

THIS BAILOUT'S MADE BY BEN AND ME

THE BAILOUT'S MADE BY BEN AND ME
(This Land is Your Land, Woody Guthrie)
WilliamBanzai7

This Bailout's your's Ben
This Bailout's mine Ben
From California to the New York island;
From the red wood forest to the Gulf Stream waters
This Bailout's made for you by Ben and me.

As I was walking that faux gold highway,
I saw before me a white collar crimewave:
I saw below me Wall Street's tin pan alley:
This bailouts made for you by Ben and me.

I've roamed and rambled and followed my foot steps
To the land of the endless subprime desert;
And from inside me an economic voice was warning:
This bailout was made for you by Ben and me.

Before the sun was shining, and the Dow was smokin,
Now the markets wavering and dark clouds keep rolling,
As the opaque fog was lifting a voice was chanting:
This bailout was made for you by Ben and me.

As I went walking I saw a sign there
And on the sign it said "No Moral Hazard"
But on the other side it didn't say nothing,
That sign was made for you by Ben and me.

In the shadow of AIG I saw the people,
By Goldman headquarters I seen the people;
As they stood there angry, I stood there asking
Is this bailout made for you by Ben and me?

Nobody living can ever stop me,
As I go shopping for a recovery ;
Nobody living can ever make me turn back
This bailout is made for you by Ben and me.

GEITHNER'S PUBLIC PRIVATE TOXIC ASSET TANK!

GEITHNER'S PUBLIC PRIVATE TOXIC ASSET TANK
(Fidelity Fiduciary Bank, Mary Poppins)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt9JpYRulSk

Father, these are private equity investors....

If you invest your tuppence
Wisely in Geithner's public/private toxic asset tank
Safe and sound?
Soon that tuppence,
Safely invested in the toxic asset tank,
Might compound!

And you'll achieve that sense of conquest
As the Fed's non-recourse loans expand
In the hands of the private asset managers
Who invest as propriety demands

You see, you'll be part of
McMansions in the Nevada desert
Vacant subdivisons from Detroit to Fresno
Fleets of repossessed trailer parks
Majestic negative-amortizing Miami coops
Plantations of ripening securitised sub-prime....

All from tuppence, prudently
Fruitfully, frugally invested
In the, to be specific,
Geithner's Federal
Financial Stability
Public Private
Toxic Asset Tank!

Now,
When you co-invest your tuppence in the Feds toxic asset tank
Soon you'll see
That it blooms into equity returns of a generous amount
Semiannually
And you'll achieve that sense of stature
As your NAV expands
To the high financial strata
That established private equity now commands

You can indirectly purchase first and second home equity loans
Think of the foreclosures!
Mortgages! CLOs! CDOs, synthetic CDOs!
Bankruptcies! Debtor sales!

Opportunities!
All manner of public/private enterprise!
Auctioned ALT A! Subprime!
Collateralized liar loans! Securitized no doc SPVs!
Distressed offshore SIVs! Amalgamations! Bad banks!

You see,
Tuppence, patiently, cautiously trustingly invested
In the, to be specific,
Tim Geithner's
Federal Financial Stability
Public Private
Toxic Asset Tank!

Welcome to our joyful family of private investors!!!!!!

YES WE HAVE SUBPRIME BANANAS

YES WE HAVE SUBPRIME BANANAS
(Yes We Have No Bananas)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1Hc80NpL4M

There's a fruit store on our street
It's run by Geithner the Geek.
And he keeps good things to eat
But you should hear him speak!
When you ask him anything,
he never answers "no".
He just "yes"es you to death,
and as he takes your dough
He tells you "Yes, we have subprime bananas
We have-a toxic subprime bananas today.
We've securitised string beans, and synthetic Cabbages, and derivative scallions,
And all sorts of rotten asset backed fruit and say
We have an old fashioned leveraged to-mah-to
A long hedged po-tah-to
And yes, we have subprime bananas.
We have toxic subprime bananas today."

Business got so good for him that he wrote home today,
"Send me Al and Ben and Hank;
I need help right away."
When he got them in the store,
there was fun, you bet.
Someone asked for Wall Street "laughing gas"
and then the whole quartet answered
"Yes, we have subprime bananas
We have subprime bananas today.
Just try those CITI coconuts.
Those Merrill walnuts and AIG doughnuts
There ain't many Wall Street nut jobs like they.
We'll sell you two kinds of toxic asset red herrings,
bulls&#t brown, and interest-bearing.
And yes, we have subprime bananas
We have toxic subprime bananas today."

FINANCIAL POLLUTION

FINANCIAL POLLUTION
(Pollution, Tom Lehrer)
WilliamBanzai7

Time was when an American about to invest abroad would be warned by his friends to be wary of emerging market fraud. But times have changed and now a foreigner coming to this country might be offered the following advice.

If you visit New York city,
You will find it very pretty.
Just two things of which you must beware:
Don't go near Goldman Sachs and don't buy AIG shares.

Financial pollution,
They got asset backed sewage and sludge.
Turn on your trading screen and see long and short running crud.

See the halibuts and the sturgeons
Being wiped out by fraudulent urgins.
Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly,
But they won't last long with those toxic schlock guys.

Financial pollution,
You can use the latest quantitative toothpaste,
And then rinse your retirement account with industrial subprime waste.

Just go out for a breath of transparent air,
And you'll be ready for financial Medicare.
Wall Street investing is really quite a thrill.
If the street hoods don't get you, those Goldman bankers will.

Financial pollution,
Wear a gas mask and a veil.
Then you can invest, in another toxic asset sale.

Lots of things there that really stink,
But stay away from Goldman's synthetic CDO sink.
Throw out the subprime garbage and I've got a hunch,
That the folks from IKB will eat it for lunch.

So go to the city, see the crazy people there.
Like lambs to the slaughter,
They're drinking quantitative  ponzi water
And breathing Wall Street hot air.

Good Fellas

MARCH MADOFF

Seen on Buddy's Blog

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED READ: The Big Takeover/Rolling Stone

Excerpts:

So it's time to admit it: We're fools, protagonists in a kind of gruesome comedy about the marriage of greed and stupidity. And the worst part about it is that we're still in denial — we still think this is some kind of unfortunate accident, not something that was created by the group of psychopaths on Wall Street whom we allowed to gang-rape the American Dream.

The mistake most people make in looking at the financial crisis is thinking of it in terms of money, a habit that might lead you to look at the unfolding mess as a huge bonus-killing downer for the Wall Street class. But if you look at it in purely Machiavellian terms, what you see is a colossal power grab that threatens to turn the federal government into a kind of giant Enron — a huge, impenetrable black box filled with self-dealing insiders whose scheme is the securing of individual profits at the expense of an ocean of unwitting involuntary shareholders, previously known as taxpayers.

The best way to understand the financial crisis is to understand the meltdown at AIG. AIG is what happens when short, bald managers of otherwise boring financial bureaucracies start seeing Brad Pitt in the mirror.

The most galling thing about this financial crisis is that so many Wall Street types think they actually deserve not only their huge bonuses and lavish lifestyles but the awesome political power their own mistakes have left them in possession of. When challenged, they talk about how hard they work, the 90-hour weeks, the stress, the failed marriages, the hemorrhoids and gallstones they all get before they hit 40.

"But wait a minute," you say to them. "No one ever asked you to stay up all night eight days a week trying to get filthy rich shorting what's left of the American auto industry or selling $600 billion in toxic, irredeemable mortgages to ex-strippers on work release and Taco Bell clerks. Actually, come to think of it, why are we even giving taxpayer money to you people? Why are we not throwing your ass in jail instead?"

But before you even finish saying that, they're rolling their eyes, because You Don't Get It. These people were never about anything except turning money into money, in order to get more money; valueswise they're on par with crack addicts, or obsessive sexual deviants who burgle homes to steal panties. Yet these are the people in whose hands our entire political future now rests.

Matt Taibbi

Wow, that is what I call taking the gloves off!

See the link in Banzai7's Whats Hot

I'M IN A BAILED OUT STATE OF MIND

BAILED STATE OF MIND
(New York State of Mind, Billy Joel)
BillyBanzai7

Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZh8YjbDiVk&feature=related

Some Wall Street shnooks like make get away
From the neighbourhood b'fore its too late
Hop a flight to Palm Beach
or to Cap d' Antibe
But I'm taking a Greyhound
On the Hudson River Line
I'm in a Bailed Out state of mind

I've seen all the structured finance stars
In their fancy cars and their limousines
Been high on the DOW in the low 14s
But I know that I'm bleeding
And I don't want to waste more time
I'm in a Bailed Out state of mind

It was so easy trading day by day
Out of touch with how ordinary working cats pay their dues
But now I need a little give and take
From the New York Times, The Daily Show too

It comes down to subprime reality
And it's fine with me 'cause I've let it slide
Don't care if it's Ponzi town or on AIG's backside
I don't have any reasons
I've left them all behind
I'm in a Bailed Out state of mind

It was so easy trading day by day
Out of touch with the working man's blues
But now I need a little give and take
The New York Times, The Daily Show too

It comes down to subprime reality
And it's fine with me 'cause I've let it slide
Don't care if we're called Ponzi clowns and Bonus & Clydes
I don't have any reasons
I've left them all behind
I'm in a Bailed Out state of mind

I'm just taking a Greyhound on the Hudson River Line
'Cause I'm in a Bailed Out state of mind

NAUGHTY BAILOUT BONUS SUCK A THUMB

THE STORY OF A NAUGHTY BAILOUT BONUS SUCK A THUMB
(Struwwelpeter, Little Suck A Thumb)
WilliamBanzai7's Subprime Struwwelpeter

One day Obama said "Conrad dear,
I must go out and leave you here.
But mind now, Conrad, what I say,
Don't suck your bailout bonus thumbs while I'm away.
The great taxing tailor Uncle Sam always comes
To bailout boys who suck their bonus thumbs;
And ere they dream what he's about,
He takes his great taxing scissors out,
And cuts their bonus thumbs clean off--and then,
You know, they never grow again."
Obama had scarcely turned his back,
The thumb was in, Alack! Alack!
The door flew open, in he ran,
The great, long, red-legged scissor bearing Uncle Sam.
Oh! you bailout deadbeats, see! Uncle Sam the taxing tailor's come
And caught out little Bailout Bonus Suck a Thumb.
Snip! Snap! Snip! the bailout bonus taxing scissors go;
And Conrad cries out "Oh! Oh! Oh!"
Snip! Snap! Snip! They go so fast,
That both his bonus thumbs are off at last.
Obama comes home: there Conrad stands,
And looks quite sad, and shows his hands;
"Ah!" said Obama, "I said he'd come
To naughty little Bailout Bonus Suck A Thumb."

TREASURY GEARS UP FOR TOXIC ASSET CLEANUP

The Treasury Department will unveil the next step in its efforts to contain Assets of Evil, announcing that it intends to create a government body, called the Public Investment Corp. ("PIC"), to finance the purchase of as much as $1 trillion in soured loans and toxic assets from ailing banks, according to sources. PIC will be the modern day superfund to remedy the mother of all financial Love Canals.

HOW TO RIG TARP

IRAN'S KHAMENIAC "Show me the money"

BANZANI7 NEWS, a Banzai7 Affiliate--Reporting from Tehran and Beirut -- Iran's most powerful figure today dismissed President Obama's extraordinary Persian New Year gesture, insisting that the U.S. administration's must first explain how he can recover the money he invested with Bernie Madoff.

Supreme leader Ali Khamaniac, who is Iran's highest spiritual, military and political investment adviser, told supporters in his hometown of Mash-up today that "changes in words" won't be enough to convince Iran that the Obama administration is sincere in its efforts to seek restitution for Madoff investors like himself.

LA WILLIAM BANZAI TOXIC TREATS

Be sure to try the new BANZAI7 TOXIC ASSET TIDBITS available only on line: http://www.lawilliamprofessional.be/nl/banzai.html

THE BANZAI7 ORGANIZATION: Working to bring you a better today tomorrow.

CEO'S GUIDE TO EXECUTIVE JETTING

WILLIAM BANZAI7's BAILOUT FINAL FOUR ROUND UP

WILLIAM BANZAI7'S BAILOUT FINAL FOUR ROUND UP

Well its been an exciting season on Wall Street.
We've seen many upsets, we've vicariously experienced the agony
of defeat and we have yet to experience
the thrill of victory.

The season began in March 2008
with the surprise elimination of Bear Stearns & Co. Many attribute that
upset to bumbling coach Jimmy Cayne's preoccupation with tournament bridge.
Later in the season we saw some amazingly risky play, all of
which due to a combination of poor planning and team cockiness
resulted in early eliminations. Lehman was the first to go under the
stewardship of Dick (the "Gorilla") Fuld. Many say the Gorilla underestimated
the resolve of tournament officials, lead by Lead Referee Benny Bernanke, to hold each team accountable for its risky on court behavior. Moreover, Dicks 11th hour plan to import Korean ringers seemed doomed to failure from the start.

Next to go, the Merrill Lynch Bulls. The Bulls made the mistake of a flawed
subprime strategy from the get go. In addition, their preoccupation with big bonus
contracts lead to their eventual demise under coach Johnny Thain. Thain
distracted himself decorating his new office while his players
shot themselves up with derivative steroids. In the end, Thain's team
threw in the cards in an upset victory by Bank America led by coach
Ken "Screwless" Lewis.

The surprise story was AIG. Who would have believed that a team consisting of
derivative trailer trash could bulk itself up on subprime steroids and very nearly
drag all of the other teams to oblivion. In the end AIG fell to Goldman Sachs who
seemed to have the "inside" advantage under the net, despite the chorus of outrage
alleging suspect officiating.

Well here they are are, the Banzai7 Bailout final four round up:

CITIGROUP: CITI is the only team operating with new coaches. Coach Vikram 'Rah Rah'
Pandit is reputedly a technical genius, but he has the odd habit of over-
communicating with his players in written memos. Pandits latest plan has been
to divide his time into a good team and a bad team. Lately he has been
preoccupied remodeling his office. He also likes to send memos summarising team stats.
Hopefully he won't repeat some of the commodious mistakes
made by Johnny Thain.

BAC: BAC under the leadership of coach Ken "Screwless Lewis" earned its place in the
final four by defeating Countrywide and the Merrill Bulls. Later, in a surprise move, BAC brought in
many of the overpriced Bulls including Johnny Thain. Unlike CITI, BAC is sticking
to its bad bank strategy. Lewis is reputedly a volatile "take no prisoners" martinet
who keeps a live bailout hand grenade on his desk. Bobby Knight would be proud.

MORGAN STANLEY: MORGAN STANLEY has always been affectionately thought of as America's
team. In recent years they experienced internal strife. Coach Johnny Mack is a dedicated, bread and
potatoes man who says he loves what he does even when he does it for free.
Some question his preoccupation with Japanese players. He has done very
well in steering his team away from controversy and keeping his teams nose to the grindstone.

GOLDMAN SACHS: GOLDMAN SACHS is perhaps the most reviled of the four teams. This follows from a combination of
overeaching and cockiness following a nail biter with AIG that almost led to Goldman's own early elimination.
Coach Blankfein is a smooth operator, but many blame him for nearly sinking the franchise. Lately
Goldman has experienced controversy surrounding the alleged impropriety in its TARP bailout financing as well
as conflicts of interest involving officials.

There you have it. This years Bailout Final Four. As you know, the last team standing will earn the chance to
go head to head with Jamie Dimon's J.P. MORGAN CHASE. A team which many say has executed flawlessly all
season.

ELLIOT SPITZER ON THE EVIL AIG GOLDMAN WEB

PONZIMONIUM IN THE USA!

BOSTON (Reuters) - Hundreds of people in the United States are under investigation for financial scams, many involving Ponzi schemes, a U.S. regulator said on Friday, calling the phenomenon "rampant Ponzimonium."



P.O.N.Z.I. MONIUM in the U.S.A.
(R.O.C.K. in the USA, John Mellencamp)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along link: http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=99DH5Eg-VcQ

They came to the big City
To become scamster Wall Street clowns
Market zealots, MBAs, Quants, Hucksters and Cons
Smokin securitized crack boom bam
Chorus:
PONZI MONIUM in the U.S.A.
PONZI MONIUM its the Wall Street way
PONZI MONIUM in the U.S.A., yeah, yeah!
PONZI' in the U.S.A.

Said goodbye to business ethics
Said goodbye to good business sense
With dreams of bonus treasure in their heads
And lots of leverage and OPM in their hands
Some are black most are white
Ain't to proud to sleep on the NYSE floor tonight
With the blind faith in Croesus you know that they just might, be
PONZI' in the U.S.A.
Hey!

Voices from Friedman, Greenspan
And the rest of those Chicago School clowns
Filled their heads full of dreams of limitless greed
Turned the world of finance upside down

There was DICKIE FULD--JIMMY CAYNE--JOHNNY THAIN
(they were PONZI SCAMIN')
CITI--UBS--AIG--BAC
(they were SCAMIN')
Spotlight on MADOFF
Let's don't forget CHUCKIE PRINCE, STAN O NEAL, BLANKFEIN and PANDIT THE CLOWN
PONZI' in the U.S.A.
PONZI' in the U.S.A.
Hey!

Chorus:
PONZI MONIUM' in the U.S.A.
PONZI MONIUM' its the Wall Street way
PONZI MONIUM' in the U.S.A. yeah, yeah!
PONZI' in the U.S.A.

HOW TO INTERVIEW AT THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT

OBAMA MAKES OVERTURE TO IRAN

It's a sign of the times. Under Bush we had the Axis of Evil, under Obama we have the new scourge: ASSETS OF EVIL

JIGABOO JONES TO THE RESCUE

FOX NEWS--Too Little, Too Late?

In the just a little late category, this week the Treasury Department ran job advertisements seeking applicants for executive compensation specialists. The Washington Times reports the postings — on a government jobs database — list duties like "recovery of bonuses" and "limitations on senior executives' compensation."

I think they need to hire Jigaboo Jones, an expert with the right know-how: