Tuesday, November 25, 2008

PANDIT THE NUT


PANDIT THE BAILOUT NUT
(I'm a Nut, Leroy Pullins)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqsauoDmgDo

Beedle-dee-bah, beedle-dee-bah, beedle-dee-ree-pa-dom...

[Chorus]
I'm a nut, I'm a bailout nut
My bank won't ever go bust, whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop
The head on my shoulders is sorta loose
And I ain't got the sense to save a giant CDO goose
Lord, I am crazy, ...I'm Pandit the bailout nut

Are your shares under water, if you're sellin when it rains?
Is it shorter to Bahrain, than it is by a plane?
Between myself and I, I wonder who's the dumber
Is it hotter in Mumbai, than it is in the summer?

[Chorus]

I drove my Cadillac to Wall Street to satisfy my lust
Wheelin', dealin', left ol' Wall Street on a Greyhound bus
I shouldn't have allowed all my bankers to get fired while I was there
But remember only forest fires prevent Bears

[Chorus]

The subprime crash will be over, when I begin to fight
If it took a dime to go 'round the world
I'd be on the next flight
I don't mind to take the FEDs out
If they don't mind to go Dutch
Makes me feel like a Billion bailout dollars
And I bet CITI ain't worth half that much

[Chorus]

Oh, crazy man! I'm a Nut!
Oh, Lordy, Lordy Lordy, Lordy
I'm crazy, I'm Pandit the Bailout Nut!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008




Yo Ho Ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Bums

(Deadman's Chest)

WilliamBanzai7


The year 2008 has been one big treasure hunt
For Somali Pirates and Bailout Bums
Bankers and tankers and the devil done for the rest
Yo ho ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Bums.


Wall Street bankers plundering Paulsens's TARP

Somali pirates cruising in Donzis and living high on the hog

An AK47, a cutless and a GPS

A subprime CDO, a SIV and a CDS

Ransom and handouts

Yo Ho Ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Bums


Wall Street's creed is a sea of greed

The pirates creed is take whatever you need

Bankers and pirates are one and alike
Take what you want and screw who you like;
Yo ho ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Bums


Is it better to be done by a banker or a scurvey ridden scrum?

Better yet, a Somalian banker pushing Wall Street dung!
Lets pump AIG and send Detroit the crumbs!

Lets steal some crude from those Arabian skunks!
Yo ho ho for the Pirates and the Bailout Bums!
THE ANSWER IS THROW EM IN THE BIN (Ode to Big Auto)
(Blowing in the Wind, Bob Dylan)
WilliamBanzai7

How many times must Big Auto beg for cash
Before you tell them to scram?
Yes, n how many bailout bucks must get squandered and trashed
Before they seep into the Arabian sand?
Yes, n how many gas hogs should we allow to drive by
Before theyre forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is throw em in the bin,
The answer is throw em in the bin.

How many times must Rick Wagoneer cry
Before we explode his bailout pie in the sky?
Yes, n how many inches must John Dingell's nose grow
Before he can admit its a huge sham?
Yes, n how many Prius' and Lexus' must we buy
Before we admit MOTOWN died long ago?
The answer, my friend, is throw em in the bin,
The answer is throw em in the bin.

How many years can Detroit's unionized brontosaurs exist
Before their washed to the sea?
Yes, n how many years can General Motors clunkers exist
After all they're rusty and cheap.
Yes, n how many times can Joe Consumer turn his head,
Pretending he just doesnt see?
The answer, my friend, is throw em in the bin,
The answer is throw em in the bin.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Baby Can You Bail Our Cars
(Baby You Can Drive My Car, The Beatles)
WilliamBanzai7

Asked a politico what he wants us Big 3 to be
He said baby, its so clear can't you see
We want fuel efficiency instead of giant SUVs
But it seems you can’t even do something in between

Baby can you bail our cars
Yes they’re a bunch of gas guzzling discards
Baby can you bail our cars
And maybe we’ll love you

We told Congress that our prospects were good
And they said really?, it's not well understood
Manufacturing petrol pigs is not very fine
Can you show us a better time

Baby can you bail our cars
Yes we need a new fresh start
Baby can you bail our cars
And maybe we'll love you

Beep beep'm beep beep yeah

We told told those D.C. lards we can start right away
They said listen we got something to say
You got no fuel efficient cars and it's breaking our hearts
But here’s a bailout dollar and that's a start

Baby can you bail our cars
Yes we want a new fresh start
Baby you can bail our cars
And maybe we’ll love you

Beep beep'm beep beep yeah
Beep beep'm beep beep yeah
Beep beep'm beep beep yeah
Beep beep'm beep beep yeah

Monday, November 10, 2008

THE AIG BALANCE SHEETS


THE AIG BALANCE SHEETS
(The Adams Family)
WilliamBanzai7

Their creepy and their kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
Their all together flukey,
The AIG Balance Sheets.

Their office is a museum
Where people come to see 'em
They really are a scream
The AIG Balance Sheets.

(Black Hole)
(Opaque)
(Indeterminate)

So get your Bailout TARP on
and some drums that you can roll on
We're gonna pay a call on
The AIG Balance Sheets.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

WHO HAS THE LAST LAUGH NOW?
(Fred Astaire, from Shall We Dance)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing Along to the Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkZdoPaBdG4&feature=related

The odds were a hundred to one against him
The world thought the heights were too high to climb
But people from Missouri never incensed him
Oh, he wasn't a bit concerned
For from hist'ry we have learned
How many, many times the world had turned

They all laughed at Christopher Columbus
When he said the world was round
They all laughed when Edison recorded sound
They all laughed at Wilbur and his brother
When they said that man could fly

They told Obama
his ideas of change were phony
It's the same old cry
They laughed at him wanting our votes
Said he was reaching for the moon
But oh, how we came through
Now they'll have to change their tune

They all said his base was just too scrappy
They laughed at us and how!
But ho, ho, ho!
Who's got the last laugh now?
I'M THE FIRST NUT (Ode to Bush)
(I'm a Nut. Leroy Pullins)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing Along With the Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqsauoDmgDo


Beedle-dee-bah, beedle-dee-bah, beedle-dee-ree-pa-Bush..

[Chorus]
I'm nut, I'm a nut
My Presidential legacy don't amount to much, whoopa-whoopa-whoopa-whoopa
The head on my shoulders is sorta loose
And I ain't got the sense God gave a moose
Lord, I ain't crazy, but ...I'm the First Nut

Is is wetter under in the Potomac, if you're in it when it rains?
Is it shorter to Camp David, than it is by a plane?
Between myself and I, I wonder who's the dumber
Is it hotter down in Crawford, than it is in the summer?

[Chorus]

I drove my Cadillac to Wall Street to satisfy my lust
Wheelin', dealin', left ol' Wall Street on a Greyhound bus
I should'nt have set the markets on fire while I was there
But remember only forest fires prevent Bears

[Chorus]

The poverty war was almost over, until I began to fight
If it took a dime to go 'round the world
I'd cut taxes out of sight
I don't mind to take the Bankers out
If they don't mind to go Dutch
Makes me feel like 700 Billion Bailout Dollars
And I bet the Treasury ain't worth half that much

[Chorus]

Oh, crazy man! I'm a nut!
Oh, Lordy, Lordy Lordy, Lordy
I'm crazy, I'm the First Nut!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

DANCIN IN THE STREETS

Callin' out around the world
Are you ready for a brand new beat?
Obama's here and the time is right
For dancin' in the streets
They're dancin' in Chicago
Down in New Orleans
Up in New York City

All we need is music, sweet music
There'll be music everywhere
There'll be swingin', swayin' and records playin'
And dancin' in the streets

Oh, it doesn't matter who you are or what you wear
Just as long as you are there
So come on, every guy grab a girl
Everywhere around the world
There'll be dancin'
They're dancin' in the street

This is an invitation
Across the nation
A chance for the folks to meet
There'll be laughin' and singin' and music swingin'
And dancin' in the streets

Philadelphia, P.A. (Philadelphia, P.A.)
Baltimore and DC now (Baltimore and DC now)
Yeah don't forget the Motor City (can't forget the Motor City)
WHERE HAVE ALL THE BAILOUT BUCKS GONE?
(Where Have All the Flowers Gone-Pete Seeger)
WilliamBanzai7

Where have all the bailout bucks gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the bailout bucks gone?
Long time ago
Where have all bailout bucks gone?
Greedy bankers and AIG Sponge Bobs have picked them every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?

Where have all the hedge funds gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the hedge funds gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the hedge funds gone?
Exploded every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the investment bankers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the investment bankers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the investment bankers gone?
Gone and laid off every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the investors gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the investors gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the investors gone?
Fled to cash every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the trading profits gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the trading profits gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the trading profits gone?
Covered with toxic mark downs every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?

Monday, November 3, 2008

Derivatives, the final financial frontier. These are the voyages of the TARP Enterprise.
It's open ended mission: to explore strange new financial weapons of mass destruction, to seek out
new write downs and new financial black holes, to boldly bail where no free market capitalist has bailed before.

Captain Hank at Planet AIG: "Beam me up Ben, there's no intelligent life here."

First Officer Bernanke: "Curious Captain, these AIG managers seem to think they can raise $130 Billion Federation Credits through a "fire sale" (is that what you call it) in the worst market for financial assets ever seen in this galaxy quadrant.

Engineer Cox: Perhaps we should'nt be tampering with these delicate instruments.