BUSH THE FECKLESS CONMAN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE GOP
(to the melody of Barack the Magic Negro or Puff the Magic Dragon)
WilliamBanzai7

Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty,
Little Dicky Cheney loved that rascal Bush,
And brought him water boards, illegal wire taps and other fancy stuff. oh

Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty
Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty

Together they would travel on a Presidential yacht filled with felons, child molesters, liars and corrupt political appointees.
Dickie kept a lookout while Dubya huffed and puffed and failed his own country,
Hastert, Delay, Foley, Craig, Vitter, Gonzalez, Libby, Stevens, Brownie, Rummy the list's too long to explain,
Somali pirate ships should all lower their flags to honor the Republican hall of shame. oh!

Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty
Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty

A dragon lives forever but not so the two faced, lying and corrupt
West wings and campaign finance rings make way for boy toys behind bars.
One grey night it happened, Barack came knocking on the White House door
And Bush that cagey conman, ceased his feckless roar.

His head was bent in sorrow, the neocons cried in pain,
Dickie could no longer play along the Camp David lane.
Outside the oval office, Dubya could not be brave,
So Bush that feckless conman sadly slipped into his Crawford cave. oh!

Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty
Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of larceny and dishonesty

I'm Bernard Madoff--I'm Telling All. Right Here. Trust Me.: Crawl Backs..What MY lawyer says..

I'm Bernard Madoff--I'm Telling All. Right Here. Trust Me.: Crawl Backs..What MY lawyer says..

"I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS (BERNIE MADOFF VERSION)
(I'll Be Home for Christmas)
WilliamBanzai7

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
All I need is a Reuters screen and blackberry
Underneath the Hannukah tree
The FBI will find me
Where the fraud light beams
I'll be home for Christmas
The world's one big Ponzi scheme!

WALL STREET BAIL OUT WONDERLAND
(Winter Wonderland)
WilliamBanzai7

Opening Bells ring, are you listening,
On the Street, the snow job is glistening
An ignoble sight,
We're happy tonight,
Working in Wall Street bailout wonderland.

Gone away is the old bird,
Here to stay is a new bird
He sings an opprobrious song,
As we go along,
Working in Wall Street bailout wonderland.

We can go and eulogize a subprime snowman,
Then pretend that he is Madoff the clown
He'll say: Whats my carry?
We'll say: None man,
But you can always do a fleece job
In Ponzi town.

Later on, we'll all conspire,
As we dream of not being fired
To face unafraid,
The new scams that we'll make,
Working in Wall Street bailout wonderland.

In the meadow we can build another financial snowman,
And pretend that he's an SEC circus clown
We'll have lots of fun shtuping mister snowman,
Until the markets inevitably knock him down.

When it snows, ain't it thrilling,
To aim the hose while pyramiding
We'll frolic and play, the fraudulent way,
Working in Wall Street bailout wonderland.

YOU"RE A MEAN ONE BERNIE THE WALL STREET GRINCH
(Semi Yiddish Version)
(You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPBS7dVrE1U

You're a mean one, Bernie the Grinch
You really know how to "filch" and steel,
You're a cuddly Ponzi scheming cactus, you're a charming Wall Street "khazer", Bernie the Grinch,
You're a big Palm Beach banana with a greasy black peel!


You're an asset management "loch in kop", Bernie the Grinch
Your business is a "gelt" black hole almost as big as AIG,
Your brain is full of "ferkakdeh" trades, you have garlic in your "fershtinkiner" soul, Bernie the Grinch,
Investors shouldn't have touched you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!


You're a foul one, Bernie the Grinch,
You say the dog ate your "bupkes" records,
You have all the tender sincerity of a typical "filching" Wall Street "shnorrer", Bernie the Grinch,
Given a choice between the two of you I'd sooner drink bottled water from the East River!


You're a rotten "s--hmuck", Bernie the Grinch,
You're the king of hedge fund scamster "dreck",
Your heart's a rotten "gefilte" splotched with moldy purple spots, Bernie the Grinch,
You're a triple decker synthetic CDO and CDS toadstool sandwich with arsenic Wall Street bailout sauce on top!


You nauseate me, Bernie the Grinch,
You're a nauseous super Wall Street "momzer!",
You're a crooked Alpha "schlockster" and you run a crooked "shandhoiz", Bernie the Grinch,
Your trading books are an appalling dung heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of "chazere" rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled "kishka" knots!


You're a foul one, Bernie the Grinch,
You're a nasty wasty Wall Street "goniff",
Your heart is an unwashed "shmanta", your soul is full of bogus "schmaltz", Bernie the Grinch,
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
"Shtunk, shtup, shlemiel"!

Bernard Madoff
"Tsen shifn mit gold zol er farmorgn, un dos gantse gelt zol er farkrenkn."
Ten ships of gold should be his and the money should only make him sick.

THESE SHOES ARE MADE FOR THROWIN (the Ballad of Muntazer Al Zaidi)

(These Boots Are Made for Walikin-Nancy Sinatra)

WilliamBanzai7


SING ALONG LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OU7Nezg7Ls


You keep saying troops will soon be withdrawin.
Just like you said something about finding WMD, but confess.


You've been messin' too long in IRAQ where you shouldn't be a messin'
and now everyone is gettin' shafted in the mother of all sorry messes.


These shoes are made for throwin, and that's just what I'll do
one of these days these Vibram Soled Mocs are gonna get thrown right at you!


You keep lying, when you oughta be a truthin'
and you keep losin' when you oughta not bet.


You keep samin' when you oughta be changin'.
Now what's right is right, but you ain't been right yet.


These shoes are made for throwin, and that's just what I'll do
one of these days these Vibram Soled Mocs are gonna get thrown right at you!


You keep playin' Commander where you shouldn't be playin
and you keep thinkin' that your sorry legacy will never get burnt.


Ha! I just found me a brand new box of Timberlanders yeah
and what I know you ain't HAD time to learn.


These shoes are made for throwin, and that's just what I'll do
one of these days these Vibram Soled Mocs are gonna get thrown right at you!


Are you ready shoes? Start flyin'!

PALM BEACH GOT RUN OVER BY MADOFF'S PONZI REINDEER
(Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer)
WilliamBanzai7

(chorus)
Palm Beach got run over by Bernie Madoff's Ponzi reindeer
Just two weeks before Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as a Wall Street scamster
But as for we in America, we believe

He'd been chalking up bogus Alpha
So the SEC said he had to go
And as he waltzed out of his lair on Third Avenue
Defiant as he was, he said, "Positive returns, hell no!"

When they woke up yesterday morning
It was clear the Palm Beach clique had been attacked
May as well stick a note to their own foreheads
Saying, "Oh Lord, please give us our money back!!"

(repeat chorus)

Now we're all so proud of our regulators
They've been taking this so well
See them crammed in Madoff's office
Knowing that SEC Chairman Cox will soon be sent to pink slip h-e-l-l

It won't be a Merry Christmas thanks to Madoff
Nor a Happy Hannukah as well
And we just can't help but wonder
Dosn't all of Wall Street have that pungent Ponzi smell?

(repeat chorus)

Now that Madoff's books are on the table
See all the other asset managers dance a jig (Ah!)
And the bogus billion dollar earnings
That not surprisingly had been rigged!

Be forewarned all you rich country club investors
Better watch out for yourselves!
You should not make be dreaming of serial Alpha
With hedge fund goofs who play golf better than yourselves!

(repeat chorus)

Nicholas Taleb: Interview with Charlie Rose

http://www.charlierose.com/view/interview/9713

MADOFF THE WALL STREET FAKIR
(Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer)
WilliamBanzai7

You know Vesco and Boesky, and Keating and Milken,
Leeson and Mozer, and Ponzi and Wiggen,
But do you recall, the most famous securities fraudster of all?

Madoff the WALL STREET FAKIR
Had a GIANT PONZI SCHEME,
And if you ever saw it,
You could say it was Wall Street's own worst dream.

All of the other Wall Street fraudsters
Used to laugh and call him names;
They never believed poor Madoff
Made a legitimate Alpha trade,

Then one shady Wall Street trading eve,
Madoff spilt his own beans to the SEC
"Madoff oh your scheme's so bright,
Won't you go to jail tonight?"

Then how the Wall Street fraudsters loved him
As they shouted out with glee,
"Madoff the WALL STREET FAKIR,
You’ll go down in securities fraud infamy."

Q: Whats the difference between Bernie Madoff and the CEO of a bulge bracket Wall Street investment bank?

A: Madoff is not asking for a bailout.

HEDGE FUND'S ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE
(The Christmas Song)
WilliamBanzai7

Hedge funds roasting on an open fire
Investors sure to get the hose
Alpha carols being sung by a wealthy choir of the dumb
And regulators dressed up like Eskimos

Everybody knows that burnt hedge hog turkeys and
Madoff's ponzi scheme help to make the seasons blight
SEC examiners with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that billion dollar losses are on the way
The markets are loaded with cows for slaughter
Its the Wall Street way
And ev'ry wealthy grandmother's
Child is gonna spy to see if
Quants, traders and pinstriped conmen really know how to fly

And so, I'm offering this
Simple phrase to investors from
One to ninety-two
Altho' it's been said many times
Many ways
Merry Redemptions to you!

THIS IS AIG
(This is Halloween from the Nitemare Before Christmas)
WilliamBanzai7

[Hank Greenberg's SHADOW]
Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?

[GOLDMAN BANKER]
Come with us and you will see
This, the bailout town of AIG

[CHORUS]
This is AIG, this is AIG
Shareholders, counterparties and taxpayers scream in the dead of night

[AIG LIABILITY GHOSTS]
This is AIG, more hidden liabilities than you've ever seen
Tricks or deceit till the markets die of fright
It's our bailout town, everybody scream
In this bailout town of AIG

[CREATURE IN THE TRADING BOOK]
I am the one hiding in your trading book
Teeth ground sharp and net position glowing red

[MAN RUNNING AIG CAPITAL MARKETS]
I am the one hiding our credit default swaps
Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair

[CHORUS]
This is AIG, this is AIG

[VAMPIRE BAILOUT SUCKERS]
AIG, AIG, AIG, AIG!
In this crooked company we call home
Everyone bail, we turn into a pumpkin before long.

[MAYOR BLOOMBERG]
In this town of busted banks, don't we love it now?
Everybody's waiting for the next Billion dollar AIG surprise!

[CHORUS]
Round that corner, hiding in that ledger
Something's waiting to pounce, and how you'll...

[MANAGEMENT]
Scream! This is AIG, THIS IS AIG
RED RED RED RED and slimey green management team

[HANK]
Well, that's just fine
Say it once, say it twice
Take a chance and roll the dice
Ride with the bailout doomed in the dead of night

[HIDDEN LIABILITY TREE]
Everybody scream, everbody scream

[AIG BOARD]
In our town of AIG!

WALL STREET WISHES YOU A MERRY BAILOUT CHRISTMAS
(We Wish You a Merry Christmas)
WilliamBanzai7

We screwed you with Securitizations;
We screwed you with Quantitative Manipulations;
We screwed you with Derivative Globalization, now we're covering our rears.
Poor tidings we bring to you and your kin;
Poor tidings of Recession and an Unhappy New Year.

Oh, bring us more bailout pudding;
Oh, bring us more bailout pudding;
Oh, bring us more bailout pudding and a tin cup of taxpayer cheer

We won't go until we get some;
We won't go until we get some;
We won't go until we get some, so bring some out here

We wish you a Bailout Christmas;
We wish you a Bailout Christmas;
We wish you a Bailout Christmas and more Turmoil Next Year.

MELE KALKIMAKA WALL STREET
(Mele Kalikimaka, Bing Crosby Christmas)
WilliamBanzai7

SECURITIZED ASSET MARKDOWNs is one way say no bonus will be paid for Christmas 2008
That's the shareholder greeting to be sent to them from the land where no dividends are paid
Here we know that losses are obscenely high
If you think you are underpaid then go take a hike
SECURITIZED ASSET MARKDOWNS is the shareholder way to say no Merry Christmas bonus for you

The Andrew Sisters:
Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say on a bright Hawian Christmas day
That's the island greeting that we send to you from the land where palm trees sway
Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright
The sun to shine by day and all the stars at night
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way to say Merry Christmas to you

The Andrew Sister's, Andrew Cuomo and Bing Crosby:
There they know that LOSSES are OBSCENELY HIGH
If they think they're underpaid then they should go take a hike
Mele Kalikimaka is the perfect way to say NO CHRISTMAS BONUS FOR YOU

Mele Kalikimaka is what we all should say to WALL STREET BANKERS WHO WANT A YEAR END BONUS PAID
Thats the perfect message to be sent to them in the land where bailouts saved the day
Here we know that LOSSES HAVE BEEN OBSCENELY HIGH
LETS TELL ALL THEM BANKERS TO KISS US WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE
Mele Kalikimaka is the perfect way to say no Christmas Bonus
no very Merry Christmas Bonus , no very, very, merry, merry Christmas Bonus for youuuuuuuuuu

OJ GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER
(Grandma/Osama Got Run Over By a Reindeer)
WilliamBanzai7

(chorus)
OJ got run over by a reindeer
Walking out of his cell Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for the Goldmans and the Browns they believe

He'd been caught robbing football memorabilia
So the jury said he had to go
But as he sat in his cell block
Defiant as he was, he said, "Hell, no!"

When we found him Christmas morning
It was clear he'd been attacked
There was a note stuck to his forehead
It said, "Its over Simpson time for some pay back!"

(repeat chorus)

Now we're all so proud of Johnny Cochran
He's been taking this so well
See him in his office
Knowing that Simpsons going to be joining him in celebrity H-e-l-l

It's bad for business without OJ
No more TV trials and Court TV quacks.
And we just can't help but wonder
Will Ford use bailout money to buy that Bronco back?

(repeat chorus)

Now the famous glove is on the table
See Marcia Clark dance a jig (Ah!)
And the famous blood stained Bruno Magli foot print
That F Lee Bailey claimed was rigged!

Well theres a moral to this story
Celebrity wife murderers watch out for yourselves!
You should not be using guns and two bit hoodlums
Stealing back all the celebrity junk you once had to sell!

(repeat chorus)

williambanzai7.blogspot.com

MEET THE FLINT SHMO
(Flintstones)
WilliamBanzai7

Flint Shmo. Meet the Flint Shmo.
He's the modern GM CEO comedy.
Automotive bedrock,
Now they're headed to insolvency.

Let's ride in that turkey SUV.
Through the courtesy of Wagoneer's two feet.

When you're with the Flint Shmo
you'll have a yabba dabba doo time.
A dabba doo time.
You'll have a bailout time!

The Night Before Bailout Christmas
(The Night Before Christmas)
WilliamBanzai7

Twas a fortnight before Christmas, when there came to the House
A cadre of Detroit clowns doing a sad bailout grouse.
Their company's were hung by years of inept stupidity and greed,
Now there they were standing, the last of a dying breed.

The union ranks were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of hybrids and plug-ins danced in their greedy heads.
And John Dingell with his big auto ‘kerchief, that old Detroit hack,
Had just settled his brains for some more motown crack.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
It sounded like a vehicle powered by reverse anti-matter.
Away to the window all flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

There on the pavement without snow
With the lustre of well designed objects below.
What to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a brand new Toyota Prius powered by eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
All knew in a moment it must be Bailout St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Toyota! now, Nissan! now, Daihatsu and Honda!
On, Isuzu! On, Suzuki! on, on Mistubishi and Mazda!
To the top of the market! while the big three all fall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before old hurricane Katrina fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the rotunda the coursers they flew,
With the hybrid sleigh full of Bailout Toys, and Bailout St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, there was heard under the Capital roof
The silly prancing and gnawing of each Big 3 auto goof.
As all shook our heads, and made a skeptical frown,
Then through the hearing room doors lept Bailout St Nicholas with a bound.

He was dressed all in red Texaco overalls, and black harley boots,
And his clothes were all tarnished with 10W40 and soot.
And billions of bailout dollars he had flung in his bailout sack,
And he looked like a used lemon peddler, just commencing his attack.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the bailout stockings, then turned to those three Big 3 auto jerks.
And laying his fingers to cover his nose,
While giving a nod, all the taxpayers got hosed!

He sprang to his Bailout sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like one big Detroit bailout missile.
But they heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Bailout Christmas to all, see you next year good-night!"

GREENSPAN GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER

GREENSPAN GOT RUN OVER BY A BLACK REINDEER
(Grandma/Osama Got Run Over by a Reindeer)
WilliamBanzai7

Greenspan got run over by a black reindeer
Walking home from a CITI ATM Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as negative Alpha
As for the Wall Street banks and hedge funds they believe

He'd been drinking too much free market egg nog
So its best he had to go
But he wrote a book full of financial flim flam
Defiant as he was, he said financial WMDs, "Hell, no!"

When we found him Christmas morning
At the scene of the attack
There was a note stuck to his forehead
It said, "Give us all our bail out dollars back!"

(repeat chorus)

Now we're all so proud of Bush and Hank Paulsen
They've been taking this so well
See them in the Oval office
Knowing that global markets have really gone to Hell

It's not Christmas without Greenspan
No free toasters and synthetic asset backeds
And we just can't help but wonder
Can we go bomb Osama Bin Laden with CDSs in a sneak attack?

(repeat chorus)

Now a Detroit bailout's on the table
See Rick Wagoneer dance a jig (Ah!)
And the silver and blue Humvees
That would have matched the hairs in Greenspan's wig

You should warn all your friends and neighbors
Better watch out for yourselves!
They should not be marketing SUVs and mortgage backed securiities
Made of stuff you can't even insure at AIG!

(repeat chorus)

O BAILOUT TREE
(O Christmas Tree)
WilliamBanzai7

O Bailout Tree, O Bailout Tree!
Those Wall Street thieves are vermin!
O Bailout Tree, O Bailout Tree!
They should all be thrown into the trash bin!

Not only is there subprime slime,
In Detroit they think its Miller time.
O Bailout Tree, O Bailout Tree!
Capitalist thieves playing tin violins!

O AIG, O AIG,
The mother of all bailout sieves!
O AIG, O AIG,
Its good to be a systemic titanic!

And every time the Bailout tree,
Brings to us all more gloom than glee.
O Bailout Tree, O Bailout Tree,
Much management malfeasance doth thou bring to me!

O Bailout Tree, O Bailout Tree,
Moral hazard's candle shines out brightly!
O Bailout Tree, Those Bailout Thieves,
Their motto is "Why not me?"!

The dough we've blown is a fiscal fright,
The dough that's thrown without oversight.
O Bailout Tree, O Bailout Tree,
You're a black hole yet undetermined!

Hank's n-u-ts roasting on an open fire.
TARP's not clean says the GAO
It won't be long
Before the money is all gone
and Geitner's left to sweep the crumbs left over from last night

TARP Road Map

We Three Motown Kings
(We Three Kings)
WilliamBanzai7

We three monarchs of Motown are
Here to save our dumb automotive arse.
No more petrol fountain, huge SUV mountain,
Following the Washington bailout star.

Bailout star of wonder, don't say good night,
O Star save us from our greedy idiotic plight,
Balance sheet's are bleeding, losses still proceeding,
Save us from what deep down we know is right.

Born as kings of the gas guzzling domain,
Fool's gold we bring please crown us again,
Lemon Kings forever, ceasing never
Over all American drivers to reign.

O Bailout star of wonder, don't say good night,
Star save us from our greedy idiotic plight,
Balance sheet's are bleeding, losses still proceeding,
Save us from what deep down we know is right.

Frankenstein's bailout plan have I.
Drove to DC in a hybrid all night.
Prayer and praising will send our stock raising,
Our ship is one big pie in the sky.

Bailout star of wonder, don't say good night,
O Star save us from our greedy idiotic plight,
Balance sheet's are bleeding, still proceeding,
Save us from what deep down we know is right.

Plug in mine: it'll run on a dime
Breath fresh air, low emissions and zoom time.
Borrowing, redesigning, union undermining,
Sealed in the stone-cold SUV tomb.

Bailout star of wonder, don't say good night,
O Star save us from our greedy idiotic plight,
Balance sheet's are bleeding, losses still proceeding,
Save us from what deep down we know is right.

Glorious now behold Motown will once again rise,
Bailout largesse and taxpayer sacrifice.
Alleluia, alleluia!
Clunking sounds heard all through the earth and skies.

Bailout star of wonder, don't say good night,
O Star save us from our greedy idiotic plight,
Balance sheet's are bleeding, still proceeding,
Save us from what deep down we know is right.

The Twelve Wall Street Days of Christmas
WilliamBanzai7

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
What did Wall Street send to me ?

Twelve doomsday drummers drumming,
Eleven bailout pipers piping,
Ten investment bankers a-leaping,
Nine Russian ladies table dancing,
Eight brokers a bilking,
Seven hedge funds a skimming,
Six quants hallucinating,
Five overpaid CEOs a blinging,
Four synthetic CDO turds stinking,
Three red pens,
Two free toaster Ov's,
And a mortgage they said was interest free!