THE GEOPOLITICS OF SEX AND THE WORLD CUP

BANZAI7 SPORTS ROUND UP--Argentinean football players are lucky to have their coach in Diego Maradona, who is encouraging them to have sex during the World Cup - as long as their partners do all the work.

Maradona wants his stars to go for some action in the sack, provided they do not end up injuring themselves in the process.

“Sex is a normal part of social life and is not a problem. The disadvantages are when it is with someone who is not a stable partner or when the player should be resting,” the Sun quoted team doctor Donato Villani as saying.

Meanwhile, England boss Fabio Capello is set to “spy” on his star players in their own hotel rooms, through their hi-tech TV sets. The tough Italian has already told how he is determined to stamp out any hanky-panky at the World Cup and has banned all wives and girlfriends.

Brazil's players will be allowed to indulge their appetite for sex, chocolate and ice-cream during the World Cup, coach Carlos Dunga has said after arriving in South Africa.

The French team has ordered its players to avoid relations with minor escorts.

Team USA has made sure each of its players will have an active WiFi connection.

Serbian, Slovakian and Slovenian players  have been warned to carefully avoid Greek players off pitch. Greek players have been warned to avoid Serbian, Slovakian and Slovenian players on pitch.

Australian players have been encouraged to do anything (sex included) instead of drinking lager.

Dutch players get enough at home but are free to enjoy their POT.

Swiss players will be permitted to meditate at tantric massage parlors (only the Swiss know what those are).

North Korean players will be too busy practicing free form Tae Kwon Do with South Korean players to be concerned about sex.

Italian players will be encouraged to play football during breaks.

The Japanese team will reportedly bring a secret contingent of World Cup Geishas and karaoke bar hostesses which will be augmented by local comfort women.

All African teams will be abstaining from sexual activity in deference to a regional HIV awareness campaign.

Apparently, most Germans would prefer watching their team contesting the World Cup final than having sex with their partners, a survey revealed on Thursday.

Should Joachim Loew's side reach the final in Johannesburg on July 11, a potential night of passion would be shown the red card by most Germans in favour of the chance to see their team in action on television.

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