ARE YOU FEELING KIM JUNG ILL YET?

No stwings attached!!!!!

BANZAI7 BUREAU PYONG YANG--North Korea pledged Saturday to "weaponize" its credit default swap portfolio by enriching stale Kimchee, just a day after the International Swaps and Derivatives Association imposed tougher sanctions on the communist state following last month's second FWMD test.

Pyongyang released a statement on its official Korean Central Misinformation Agency (KCMA) as saying that any blockade by ISDA or other international agency will be regarded "as a hostile trade and met with an FWMD military response."

The People's Hedge Fund of North Korea's (PHFNK) threat to further strengthen its FWMD capabilities, defying ISDA sanctions including tighter OTC CDS trading oversight, has raised tensions in the Korean Peninsula.

"The process of synthetic credit default swap enrichment will be commenced," South Korea's Yon-yap-yap-yap news agency quoted the North Korean Finance Ministry as saying in a statement carried by KBFNA (Korean Bad Financial News Agency).

South Korea said that Pyongyang has around 40 kilotons of synthetically securitized Kimchee Puts, which is enough to generate at least six AIGs.

On Friday, George Soros picked up that theme and ran with it, suggesting that one kind of derivative was too dangerous to be allowed in the hands of the North Koreans.

Mr. Soros, the billionaire financier and philanthropist who made a fortune with well-placed bets against the British pound, said at a banking conference that bespoke credit default swaps and Kimchee Puts, the same kind of derivatives that brought AIG to its knees, were “instruments of mass destruction which ought to be outlawed on the Korean Peninsula” according to Reuters.

Reports indicate that attempts by Eric Saltzman of the world renown Monkey Business Financial Blog (http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7015481747#ixzz0IJnvLoTQ&C) to diffuse the crisis have only increased tensions. Salzman is rumored to be attempting to cross the DMZ with autographed copies of Soro's latest book.

Comment by Yippee on WSJ Blog:

Hey williambanzai7

That is witty and funny stuff. A kimchy put that goes sour and a ginseng call. Thanks for the laughs, we all need more of those.