SIX FLAGS TO RESTRUCTURE

Alan the Maestro says: "See you on the Inverted Yield Coaster."

BANZAI7 NEWS--Six Flags, the big theme park operator, filed for bankruptcy in early Saturday morning in Delaware after failing to reach an agreement with lenders over a plan to reorganize its debt outside of court.

Six Flags's proposed a reorganization plan that includes exciting new attractions with timely financial services themes including:

HANK AND BEN'S SUBPRIME FRIGHT NIGHT COASTER

HANK AND BEN'S SUBPRIME FRIGHT NIGHT COASTER will transform guests into seedy citizens of Wall Street, where they find themselves caught in the middle of a city under siege and torn apart by Alan Greenspan the fractional reserve Riddler and Milton Friedman, the cruel free market Joker. Venturing through demented hallways of twisted derivative trades, oblique policy turns and hallucinatory correlations, riders speed through six 180-degree DJIA hairpin's, climb unseen hills of toxic assets, plunge into pitch balance sheet darkness and dip into unforeseen "Black Swan" like outlier dangers.

VIKRAM BANDIT'S BIG SPIN

Vikram Bandit's Big Spin — A Gerstlauer PR spinning coaster, "this unique public relations spinning coaster gives riders the opportunity to defy the laws of financial services gravity just like Vikram Bandit, the memo bloviating legend himself. With random and unpredictable verbal twists and techno-babbling spins at each market dip and turn, this CITI bailout sponsored coaster offers a unique ride experience for all stakeholders every time."

LLOYD BLANKFEIN'S WIGGLE OUT WORLD

"BLANKFEIN'S Wiggle Out World is designed to leverage and wiggle Goldman Sach's out of a hair raising squeeze using its world-wide recognition and status among financial regulators and policy makers ages 2-6, featuring rides, shows and attractions the entire United States Financial Services regulatory family can enjoy. The new area will include specially themed Goldman Wiggle out rides, including Hank Paulsens's Big Bailout Car and Steve Friedman's Big Red Escape Plane rides, as well as a new Timmy G Toxic Turd retail location and a Larry Sommers Yummy Dummy Investor Cafe. In addition, The Goldman Wiggles are scheduled to appear at the park on a to-be-announced date in 2009. The Great Wall Street Escape also will debut a thrilling new waterslide, Wild AIG Wedgie, in its Subprime Derivative Splashwater Kingdom water park."

ALAN THE MAESTRO'S INVERTED YIELD COASTER

Maestro's Ultimate Inverted Yield Curve Coaster — "Adding a powerful new dimension of twisted monetary thrill's to an already irrationally exuberant coaster line-up, Maestro IYC will feature a unique radiating blue steel track and high-speed yellow and blue trains that suspend riders from short and long term coaster tracks. Once aboard the suspended 28-passenger interest rate trains, the bottom drops out from beneath the riders and they soar out of the real estate asset bubble station four abreast to experience spine-tingling gravitational market forces and the sensation of racing totally unregulated at 80 mph with nothing beneath their 401k feet but cloudy sky."

GLOW IN THE DARK TOXIC ASSET PARADE

Glow in the Dark Toxic Asset Parade at Six Flags Great Subprime Adventure "Six Flags is taking the asset backed security parade concept to new subprime levels as bull market drummers, shyster bankers, political puppeteers, psychotic quants, crooked mortgage brokers, unscrupulous real estate brokers, and kinetic regulatory stilt walkers bring the park streets to life with an unparalleled nighttime financial fantasyland of interest only mortgages, riskless securities, pay option loans, no document loans, VAR fantasy lights and bear trade commotion. Glow in the Park Toxic Asset Parade features the latest quantitative finance technology, state-of-the-art collateralized debt floats and special credit enhancement effects with thousands of sparkling rating agency lights adorning every element of this uniquely themed toxic asset parade."

BERNIE THE PONZI ENGINEER

Bernie the Ponzi Engineer — This attraction entertains sophisticatedly naive investors of all ages, offering wealthy retiree's, brainless asset managers and SEC enforcement attorneys a ponziesque train ride through Bernie's mythical trading room on the French Riviera Island of Absolute Returns, Bernie-themed play areas, and appearances by Clown Commissioner Christopher Cox, Controller of the SEC's ponzi sanctioned Railway, who will pose for photos and greet visiting investors. A Bernie & Friends store located within the areas will feature an assortment of pre-owned Palm Beach merchandise.

DICK FULD'S ROOM FULL OF SMOKE & MIRRORS

Dick Fuld's Room Full of Smoke & Mirrors takes the financial smoke and mirror funhouse concept to the absolute last minute. Packed full of opaque accounting tricks, toxic asset hazards, valuation illusions, securitisation fakirs, shifty Korean and Arab investors, short selling bogeymen chasing bikini clad CFO's and a Mega subprime CDS ticking time bomb, Dick Fuld's Room Full of Mirror's will leave spectators young and old totally unbailed.

HANK GREENBERG'S HOUSE OF AIG HORRORS

Perhaps the scariest attraction ever created, Hank Greenberg's House of AIG horrors will not be beat. Packed full of all manner of subprime ghouls, vampire toxic asset salesmen, financial skeletons, CEO ghosts, litigous zombies, blood thirsty regulators and Goldman Sachs derivative traders, Hank will make sure your NAV will never see the light of bailout day. Sandy Weil says: "I thought I had the systemic house of horrors racket cornered, but Hank Greenberg beat me to the bailout punch."