BULLYING THE BUMBLER

BANZAI7 NEWS -- House Republican staffers said Federal Reserve and Treasury officials overstepped their authority by using enhanced interrogation techniques to strong arm Bank of America Corp. to complete its Merrill Lynch & Co. purchase, in a memo obtained by BANZAI7 News.

The memo prepared by the staffers for Republican lawmakers at a House Hindsight Committee hearing tomorrow cites what it identifies as excerpts from internal Fed e-mails to support their stance. The committee issued a subpoena to the Fed yesterday for documents related to the transaction together with explanatory footnotes written in third grade English.

Bank of America Chief Executive Officer Kenneth Lewis, who will testify at the hearing in Washington, told New York state investigators in February that he was bullied in December by Fed Warlord Ben S. Bernanke and former Bailout Czar Henry Paulson to lean over and do 200 push-ups before schtupping his own shareholders by acquiring Merrill Lynch at the original stupendously bloated price. He could not do the push-ups, so he obliged them by proceeding to screw his own shareholders.

The memo said that Richmond Fed Waterboard of Directors Chairman Jeffrey Slacker wrote in a Dec. 20 e-mail that Bernanke intended to “make it even more clear that if they play the material adverse change card and they need assistance, Lewis will have to change his name to Mr. Gone and will not be able to fulfill his dream of playing "Mr Savy Wall Street Bigshot Investment Banker,” referring to a threat by Bank of America to break off its deal with Merrill. Screwless Lewis' says his high priced lawyers and advisers told him "sounds serious, go ahead and mislead your shareholders, the SEC will never know the difference."

Attempts to contact former Merrill CEO John Thain, who is rumored to be undergoing gender change surgery in Thailand, were unsuccessful.

Comment on NYT Deal Journal:

Finally the honest news from none other than williambanzai7, who is a “person of definite talent”.

— Posted by Hank