KASH FOR KLUNKERS

BANZAI7 NEWS--What began as a gleeful debate over the disappearance of the Arctic Sea, a Russian-operated freighter that went off the radar for weeks has turned into a serious question of international security. At first, in late July, the notion that a timber-carrying ship was the first victim of European piracy in centuries was dynamite. But as weeks wore on without radio contact, speculation turned to darker concerns. Was it a cover up? A mafia hit? A bungled act of nuclear smuggling?

Now, the CIA believes it has the answer. Samuel Incognito, a Director of the Russian Section of the "company" believes that the Russians are attempting to fill the recent niche demand for klunkers in the United States. It is believed that kar dealerships under the influence of Russian mobsters are using smuggled klunkers to avail themselves of the ka$h for klunkers.