The Great Subprime “Babel”—A Modern Tale of Biblical Greed
By WilliamBanzai7
Wall Street never changes. The pockets change, the suckers change, the stocks change, but Wall Street never changes because human nature never changes. - Jesse Livermore
The public’s annual loss to Wall Street has usually been estimated in former years at $100,000,000 per annum, but owing to the more recent enterprising methods of the “Street” in manipulating the game, this estimate is now far to small as we shall see.-Franklin Keyes (1904)
Conceit of the Street
Shortly following the implosion of the great “dot.com” bubble, something happened that was to change the monetary affairs of all men on Earth.
The investment banking tribes had once again begun to proliferate and fill the Street. They spoke a new tongue--the tongue of quantitative engineering. It was a strange tongue with words like VAR, synthetic CDO, conduiting, CLO, SIV, bespoke swaps, CDOs squared, negative default correlations, binomial expansions and stochastic modeling. A tongue curiously reminiscent of the tongue of the late House of ENRON.
Generations of bankers before the “dot.com” bubble, were believers in the fundamental laws of securities valuation. They were believers in the book of Graham and Dodd. They toiled and worked hard to maintain their modest but prosperous existence.
The new generation of investment bankers was different. Theirs was a different code. Their game was a giant opaque pyramid of derivatives and mortgage backed securities. Had they confined themselves to this kind of financial life in a modest fashion, all might have been well. But the obscene income made possible by cheap leverage, financial engineering and securitization techniques made them ever greedier and in their hubris they thought they could beat the financial laws of thermodynamics.
They decided to build a great Tower of mortgage backed securities and derivatives. With this Tower they would pillage the housing markets and at the same time seemingly eliminate all risk for themselves. Heads we win, tails you lose; that was their credo. The symbol of their invincible wealth, as they thought, was to be built in the shadow of the House of Greenspan. It would be squeezed out of Joe Public who was long disdained and exploited by the Lords of the Wall Street kleptocracy. This time they would build tempt Average Joe with reckless mortgage loans supported by an “irrationally exuberant” real estate market.
According to the Lords of the Street, a new paradigm had emerged: financial risk could be sliced and diced into oblivion, cheap leverage is here to stay and housing prices will only go up. Many foresaw the folly of this enterprise. Buffet, the great chief of the House of Berkshire Hathaway, called the new instruments of invincible wealth, financial weapons of mass destruction. But the aging House of Greenspan was oblivious to the great folly unfolding before its jaundiced eye. The unbelievers were admonished to stay in Nebraska where they belonged.
Their Punishment
Finally, the Market decided to punish the arrogance of the bankers by destroying the Tower. First, it, confused them by splitting them up into many greedy tribes, each with a tongue and agenda of its own, (hence the name Babel, meaning “confusion”). A new tribe, the Shorts, arrived and the hunters soon became the hunted. Alas, they were forced to subjugate their vast troves of CDOs to the divine forces of the Market. This ultimate humiliation came to be known as the “great MTM slaughter.”
When this happened, the Tower had to be abandoned. The various bankers would migrate in different directions. Many were fired. Others thought they were headed to the three Byes, Dubai, Mumbai and Shanghai. Instead they wound up flipping burgers in Palookaville. Gone were the good old days of French furniture, French jets and $150 hamburgers.
The Tower itself was partly burned and partly swallowed by the remaining led by the House of JP Morgan. As for the Great Houses of Goldman and Morgan, they were forced to pledge bailout fealty to the Fed, under the wise and benevolent protection of Gentle Ben, the new master of the House of Greenspan. He who would later come to be known as the one and only “Father Moral Hazard”.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
GIMME THREE STEP'S WALL STREET SLICKSTER
(GIMME THREE STEPS, Lynard Skynard)
WilliamBanzai7
I was cutting the rug
Down at a place called the Bull and Bear jug
With a mound of bailout bonus loot
When in walked a man
With a gun in his hand
And he was looking for a banker or two.
He said, hey there fellow,
With the Hermes tie colored yellow,
Watcha tryin to prove?
cause that's my money there
And I'm a man who cares
And this might be all for you.
I was scared and fearing for my life.
I was shakin like a bailot zombie.
cause he was lean, mean,
Big and bad, lord,
Pointin that gun at me.
I said, wait a minute, mister,
I ain't no PONZI scheming slickster.
Dont want no trouble with you.
And I know you dont owe me
But I wish youd let me
Ask one favor from you.
(chorus)
Wont you give me three steps,
Gimme three steps mister,
Gimme three steps towards the bailout door?
Gimme three steps
Gimme three steps mister,
And youll never see me no more.
Well the crowd cleared away
And I began to pray
As my blackberry fell on the floor.
And Im telling you son,
Well, it aint no fun
Staring straight down a bailout busting forty-four.
Well he turned and screamed at Cramer on the TV screen
And thats the break I was looking for.
And you could hear me screaming a mile away
As I was headed out towards the door.
(chorus)
(GIMME THREE STEPS, Lynard Skynard)
WilliamBanzai7
I was cutting the rug
Down at a place called the Bull and Bear jug
With a mound of bailout bonus loot
When in walked a man
With a gun in his hand
And he was looking for a banker or two.
He said, hey there fellow,
With the Hermes tie colored yellow,
Watcha tryin to prove?
cause that's my money there
And I'm a man who cares
And this might be all for you.
I was scared and fearing for my life.
I was shakin like a bailot zombie.
cause he was lean, mean,
Big and bad, lord,
Pointin that gun at me.
I said, wait a minute, mister,
I ain't no PONZI scheming slickster.
Dont want no trouble with you.
And I know you dont owe me
But I wish youd let me
Ask one favor from you.
(chorus)
Wont you give me three steps,
Gimme three steps mister,
Gimme three steps towards the bailout door?
Gimme three steps
Gimme three steps mister,
And youll never see me no more.
Well the crowd cleared away
And I began to pray
As my blackberry fell on the floor.
And Im telling you son,
Well, it aint no fun
Staring straight down a bailout busting forty-four.
Well he turned and screamed at Cramer on the TV screen
And thats the break I was looking for.
And you could hear me screaming a mile away
As I was headed out towards the door.
(chorus)
WE'RE AN AMERICAN SCAM
(We're an American Band, Grand Funk Railroad)
WilliamBanzai7
Had my bonus barely thirty days,
Last night Obama put me in a purple haze.
Sweet, sweet con jobs -- that's my act,
We had the whole show and thats an unnatural fact.
Up all night watchin Larry King,
Got to tell you jokers bout Wall Street Bling.
Booze n Ponzi tradin keep me right,
As long as we can make it through the show we're alright.
Chorus
We're an American SCAM.
We're an American SCAM.
We're coming to your town, well drive your net worth down.
We're an American SCAM.
Four SPIVs from Bermuda,
Just waitin for the returns from the good old days.
Feelin good, feelin right, its Saturday night,
The SEC detectives -- still out-a-sight.
Now, these fine Wall Street bankers, they had a plan,
They was out to get bailout bonus toys in their hands.
They said, come on, dudes, lets get it on,
And they proceeded to tear the markets down.
Chorus
We're an American SCAM...
(We're an American Band, Grand Funk Railroad)
WilliamBanzai7
Had my bonus barely thirty days,
Last night Obama put me in a purple haze.
Sweet, sweet con jobs -- that's my act,
We had the whole show and thats an unnatural fact.
Up all night watchin Larry King,
Got to tell you jokers bout Wall Street Bling.
Booze n Ponzi tradin keep me right,
As long as we can make it through the show we're alright.
Chorus
We're an American SCAM.
We're an American SCAM.
We're coming to your town, well drive your net worth down.
We're an American SCAM.
Four SPIVs from Bermuda,
Just waitin for the returns from the good old days.
Feelin good, feelin right, its Saturday night,
The SEC detectives -- still out-a-sight.
Now, these fine Wall Street bankers, they had a plan,
They was out to get bailout bonus toys in their hands.
They said, come on, dudes, lets get it on,
And they proceeded to tear the markets down.
Chorus
We're an American SCAM...
Look Out Wall Street: There is a New Sheriff in Town
We have lived through a period when political and business leaders seem to have been able to avoid being held accountable for their reckless and negligent behavior. Sounds like lawyer talk. Well lawyers were intricately involved in this sorry state of affairs. Lets take the Bush administration. What did all the Republican cronies like Cheney learn from the Nixon saga? Don't put yourself in weak position legally. Don't testify under oath. Better yet, don't testify. Don't provide information under threat of perjury and obstruction of justice, better yet don't provide information. They artfully avoided political accountability for a litany of constitutional abuses, executive misconduct and malfeasance.
Now lets consider what has happened in the financial services industry. Until recently, our securities laws forced Wall Street to worry about the way it conducted business. Don't play by regulatory rules with origins in Roosevelt's New Deal and sooner or later the SEC or an Elliot Spitzer clone will hunt you down. You had to worry about adequate disclosure and a battery of rules designed to protect Joe public and the sanctity of the markets. If you misbehaved, you also had to worry about a ravenous plaintiff's bar charged with the duty of prosecuting claims on behalf of investors unable to fend for themselves (for a generous fee, of course).
Those New Deal rules are still there. However, Wall Street managed to water everything down to the point where a man made Katrina hits the financial markets and there is little or no means to hold the perpetrators accountable. The SEC was either clueless or too feeble to chase the bankers who designed, peddled and later lied about their exposure to toxic asset backed securities. What about Credit Default Swaps? Oh, those so called financial weapons of mass destruction are not securities within the meaning of the securities laws. Those are cutting edge risk management tools.
How about so called victims like poor old AIG banding together to sue those who set them up with these improvised financial explosive devices. Never mind, those were sold to sophisticated institutions and "accredited" investors more than able to fend for themselves. Sales to these financial sophisticates are not subject to the same legal regime. We now see that "sophisticated investor" means one who expects to be bailed out by Uncle Sam.
Finally, you won't be seeing any widows and orphans starting class action suits, because no one sold them any securities. Instead, they are accused of being culpable in the great sub-prime meltdown because they fell prey to the army of mortgage brokers who aggressively peddled shadow bank loans. Mortgage brokers owned by who else? Wall Street investment banks like Merrill, Lehman and Bear Stearns. Shadow bank loans? Yep, AAA legal advice.
Let the markets regulate themselves! That is the fundamentalist mantra of the lords of the Street. Well, that is what the markets were actually doing until the SEC decided to act on the shorts. Self regulation came in the surprising form of punishment by the shorts. After all, it was the hedge fund industry, Messrs Einhorn et al, and not the SEC that called Lehman and AIG to the carpet. The SEC, fixed the short problem. Trading bets against financial institutions were temporarily banned. In a comic twist, the SEC planed to force hedge fund managers to testify under oath. Something more than you can expect from the likes of Harriet Myers and Alberto Gonzalez. Ultimately, the reckless bets that the investment banks made with shareholder capital went unpunished.
Well you begin to see how what seems like one big scam is actually a legally airtight apparatus for screwing the public in an indirect manner without being held legally accountable. Time to throw out all of the New Deal regulatory assumptions and start all over again. Wall Street, like the Bush administration, managed to innovate its way out of accountability.
Next came the TARP bailout. Hank Paulsen, a former Goldman Sachs honcho connived Joe taxpayer into shelling out billions to save a corrupt and broken financial juggernaut. Plenty of new opportunities for Wall Street bankers to make a killing cleaning up their own mess.
As we have seen, Paulsen threw the first tranch of TARP money out of the helicopter without attaching any strings. No one seems to be able to explain where the money has gone or the magnitude of the losses yet to be uncovered. Now we learn that billions of dollars were paid in bonuses to employees of institutions that are essentially insolvent absent taxpayer largess. Paulsen and his fellow Goldman Sachs henchman Neel "Kash n Carry" can be credited with designing an opaque bailout that lays perfect ground cover for the continuing incompetence and greed of the scions of Wall Street.
In the latest Act of the Bailout Soap Opera, BAC's CEO Ken "Screwless" Lewis is claiming that management of BAC should not be held accountable for proceeding with the Merrill Lynch merger despite having knowledge of surprise mega losses last December. His defense, "the Feds made me do it". This Bailout defense is the latest twist in the science of executive non-accountability. The bonus hissy fight between Screwless Lewis and John "Complain" Thain is a comedy that rivals Abott and Costello's "Who's on First" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sShMA85pv8M)
There you have it. The TARP Bailout has created a black-hole of corporate accountability. If you are a stakeholder (a shareholder, creditor, bondholder, taxpayer) it is impossible to divine who the Boards and managers of these companies think they owe their fiduciary duty to.
The Obama Administration certainly has its work cut out for it. It looks like we are off to a good start. Someone should have read the "riot act" to the Consumer Finance Industrial Complex long ago. Yesterday, President Obama took the first shot across Wall Street's bow. "Shameless" behaviour will no longer be tolerated. He characterised Wall Street's 2009 bonus payout as "the height of irresponsibility". Concurrently, a message was sent to Citigroup, --your not leaving on a 50 million dollar taxpayer subsidised jet plane. Richard Parson's, Citigroup's incoming Chairman, met with Obama earlier this week. One can only guess what was said in that meeting.
One hundred years ago a man named Franklin Keyes, Esq. published a tract titled: "Wall Street Speculation, Its Tricks and Its Tragedies". In it he said: "Wall Street is dominated by some of the brainiest and shrewdest men in the country, natural born sharpers and schemers, and before the average man can get the better of them, except through the merest chance, he will have to eat brain food for a long time."
We have a President who has eaten plenty of brain food for a long time. Wall Street better get the message: There's a new sheriff in town.
WilliamBanzai7
We have lived through a period when political and business leaders seem to have been able to avoid being held accountable for their reckless and negligent behavior. Sounds like lawyer talk. Well lawyers were intricately involved in this sorry state of affairs. Lets take the Bush administration. What did all the Republican cronies like Cheney learn from the Nixon saga? Don't put yourself in weak position legally. Don't testify under oath. Better yet, don't testify. Don't provide information under threat of perjury and obstruction of justice, better yet don't provide information. They artfully avoided political accountability for a litany of constitutional abuses, executive misconduct and malfeasance.
Now lets consider what has happened in the financial services industry. Until recently, our securities laws forced Wall Street to worry about the way it conducted business. Don't play by regulatory rules with origins in Roosevelt's New Deal and sooner or later the SEC or an Elliot Spitzer clone will hunt you down. You had to worry about adequate disclosure and a battery of rules designed to protect Joe public and the sanctity of the markets. If you misbehaved, you also had to worry about a ravenous plaintiff's bar charged with the duty of prosecuting claims on behalf of investors unable to fend for themselves (for a generous fee, of course).
Those New Deal rules are still there. However, Wall Street managed to water everything down to the point where a man made Katrina hits the financial markets and there is little or no means to hold the perpetrators accountable. The SEC was either clueless or too feeble to chase the bankers who designed, peddled and later lied about their exposure to toxic asset backed securities. What about Credit Default Swaps? Oh, those so called financial weapons of mass destruction are not securities within the meaning of the securities laws. Those are cutting edge risk management tools.
How about so called victims like poor old AIG banding together to sue those who set them up with these improvised financial explosive devices. Never mind, those were sold to sophisticated institutions and "accredited" investors more than able to fend for themselves. Sales to these financial sophisticates are not subject to the same legal regime. We now see that "sophisticated investor" means one who expects to be bailed out by Uncle Sam.
Finally, you won't be seeing any widows and orphans starting class action suits, because no one sold them any securities. Instead, they are accused of being culpable in the great sub-prime meltdown because they fell prey to the army of mortgage brokers who aggressively peddled shadow bank loans. Mortgage brokers owned by who else? Wall Street investment banks like Merrill, Lehman and Bear Stearns. Shadow bank loans? Yep, AAA legal advice.
Let the markets regulate themselves! That is the fundamentalist mantra of the lords of the Street. Well, that is what the markets were actually doing until the SEC decided to act on the shorts. Self regulation came in the surprising form of punishment by the shorts. After all, it was the hedge fund industry, Messrs Einhorn et al, and not the SEC that called Lehman and AIG to the carpet. The SEC, fixed the short problem. Trading bets against financial institutions were temporarily banned. In a comic twist, the SEC planed to force hedge fund managers to testify under oath. Something more than you can expect from the likes of Harriet Myers and Alberto Gonzalez. Ultimately, the reckless bets that the investment banks made with shareholder capital went unpunished.
Well you begin to see how what seems like one big scam is actually a legally airtight apparatus for screwing the public in an indirect manner without being held legally accountable. Time to throw out all of the New Deal regulatory assumptions and start all over again. Wall Street, like the Bush administration, managed to innovate its way out of accountability.
Next came the TARP bailout. Hank Paulsen, a former Goldman Sachs honcho connived Joe taxpayer into shelling out billions to save a corrupt and broken financial juggernaut. Plenty of new opportunities for Wall Street bankers to make a killing cleaning up their own mess.
As we have seen, Paulsen threw the first tranch of TARP money out of the helicopter without attaching any strings. No one seems to be able to explain where the money has gone or the magnitude of the losses yet to be uncovered. Now we learn that billions of dollars were paid in bonuses to employees of institutions that are essentially insolvent absent taxpayer largess. Paulsen and his fellow Goldman Sachs henchman Neel "Kash n Carry" can be credited with designing an opaque bailout that lays perfect ground cover for the continuing incompetence and greed of the scions of Wall Street.
In the latest Act of the Bailout Soap Opera, BAC's CEO Ken "Screwless" Lewis is claiming that management of BAC should not be held accountable for proceeding with the Merrill Lynch merger despite having knowledge of surprise mega losses last December. His defense, "the Feds made me do it". This Bailout defense is the latest twist in the science of executive non-accountability. The bonus hissy fight between Screwless Lewis and John "Complain" Thain is a comedy that rivals Abott and Costello's "Who's on First" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sShMA85pv8M)
There you have it. The TARP Bailout has created a black-hole of corporate accountability. If you are a stakeholder (a shareholder, creditor, bondholder, taxpayer) it is impossible to divine who the Boards and managers of these companies think they owe their fiduciary duty to.
The Obama Administration certainly has its work cut out for it. It looks like we are off to a good start. Someone should have read the "riot act" to the Consumer Finance Industrial Complex long ago. Yesterday, President Obama took the first shot across Wall Street's bow. "Shameless" behaviour will no longer be tolerated. He characterised Wall Street's 2009 bonus payout as "the height of irresponsibility". Concurrently, a message was sent to Citigroup, --your not leaving on a 50 million dollar taxpayer subsidised jet plane. Richard Parson's, Citigroup's incoming Chairman, met with Obama earlier this week. One can only guess what was said in that meeting.
One hundred years ago a man named Franklin Keyes, Esq. published a tract titled: "Wall Street Speculation, Its Tricks and Its Tragedies". In it he said: "Wall Street is dominated by some of the brainiest and shrewdest men in the country, natural born sharpers and schemers, and before the average man can get the better of them, except through the merest chance, he will have to eat brain food for a long time."
We have a President who has eaten plenty of brain food for a long time. Wall Street better get the message: There's a new sheriff in town.
WilliamBanzai7
Thursday, January 29, 2009
BREAKING NEWS FROM THE WSJ:
A prominent former top executive at Merrill Lynch was bullish on Bernard Madoff -- and that has cost him and a number of ex-Merrill executives.
Former Merrill chief executives Daniel Tully and David Komansky, along with former Merrill investment-banking chief Barry Friedberg, personally invested in hedge funds with Madoff exposure run by former Merrill brokerage chief John "Launny" Steffens, according to people familiar with the matter.
Poetic justice, no?
A prominent former top executive at Merrill Lynch was bullish on Bernard Madoff -- and that has cost him and a number of ex-Merrill executives.
Former Merrill chief executives Daniel Tully and David Komansky, along with former Merrill investment-banking chief Barry Friedberg, personally invested in hedge funds with Madoff exposure run by former Merrill brokerage chief John "Launny" Steffens, according to people familiar with the matter.
Poetic justice, no?
HEY BANKER BUM/AQUA LUNG
(Aqua Lung, Jethro Tull)
WilliamBanzai7
Sitting on the park bench --
eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Snot is running down his nose --
greasy fingers smearing filthy designor label clothes.
Hey Banker Bum
Drying in the cold sun --
Watching as the frilly panties run.
Hey Banker Bum
Feeling like a lame leverage duck --
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.
Whoa, Banker Bum
Sun streaking cold --
an old young man wandering lonely.
Taking time
the only way he knows.
Pride hurting bad,
as he bends to pick a dog-end --
he goes down to the Battery
and warms his feet in the cold NY sun.
Feeling alone --
the army's up the road
salvation a la mode and
a cup of bailout tea.
Banker Bum my friend --
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only misplaced Wall Street greed.
Do you still remember
The December's foggy freeze --
when the ice that
clings on to your bonus beard was
screaming agony.
And you snatch your rattling last breaths
with instant message sounds,
and the flowers bloom like
madness in the Bear market spring.
(Aqua Lung, Jethro Tull)
WilliamBanzai7
Sitting on the park bench --
eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Snot is running down his nose --
greasy fingers smearing filthy designor label clothes.
Hey Banker Bum
Drying in the cold sun --
Watching as the frilly panties run.
Hey Banker Bum
Feeling like a lame leverage duck --
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.
Whoa, Banker Bum
Sun streaking cold --
an old young man wandering lonely.
Taking time
the only way he knows.
Pride hurting bad,
as he bends to pick a dog-end --
he goes down to the Battery
and warms his feet in the cold NY sun.
Feeling alone --
the army's up the road
salvation a la mode and
a cup of bailout tea.
Banker Bum my friend --
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only misplaced Wall Street greed.
Do you still remember
The December's foggy freeze --
when the ice that
clings on to your bonus beard was
screaming agony.
And you snatch your rattling last breaths
with instant message sounds,
and the flowers bloom like
madness in the Bear market spring.
STAIRWAY TO BAILOUT HEAVEN
(Stairway to Heaven, DEBT Zeppelin IV)
WilliamBanzai7
Here's one for all you Bankers out there....
There's a banker who's sure all that his bonus is gold
And he's buying the Stairway to Bailout Heaven.
When he gets there he knows, if the doors are all closed
With a scheme he can get what he came for.
Ooh, ooh, and he's buying the Stairway to Bailout Heaven.
There's a sign at Wall and Broad read it close to be sure
'Cause you know opaque words have two meanings.
Getting fleeced by pinstriped crooks, there's a jailbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.
There's a feeling I get when I wish to invest,
And I'm trying to avoid innovative thieving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke in the breeze,
And the voices of those who were taken by Ponzi scheming.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.
And it's whispered that soon if we all call the regulator's tune
Then the piper will lead fear and greed to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who buy and go long
And the markets will echo with laughter.
If there's a bust in your hedge, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the market queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the trade you're hooked on.
And it makes me wonder.
Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The market piper's calling you to join him,
Well now laddy, can you hear the DOW blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering winds of greed and irrational exuberance.
And as we wind on down the mythical Alpha Road
Our shadows taller than our NAV soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines transparent white light and wants to show
How every get rich quick scheme can never turn to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.
And he's buying the Stairway to Bailout Heaven.
(Stairway to Heaven, DEBT Zeppelin IV)
WilliamBanzai7
Here's one for all you Bankers out there....
There's a banker who's sure all that his bonus is gold
And he's buying the Stairway to Bailout Heaven.
When he gets there he knows, if the doors are all closed
With a scheme he can get what he came for.
Ooh, ooh, and he's buying the Stairway to Bailout Heaven.
There's a sign at Wall and Broad read it close to be sure
'Cause you know opaque words have two meanings.
Getting fleeced by pinstriped crooks, there's a jailbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.
There's a feeling I get when I wish to invest,
And I'm trying to avoid innovative thieving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke in the breeze,
And the voices of those who were taken by Ponzi scheming.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.
And it's whispered that soon if we all call the regulator's tune
Then the piper will lead fear and greed to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who buy and go long
And the markets will echo with laughter.
If there's a bust in your hedge, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the market queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the trade you're hooked on.
And it makes me wonder.
Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The market piper's calling you to join him,
Well now laddy, can you hear the DOW blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering winds of greed and irrational exuberance.
And as we wind on down the mythical Alpha Road
Our shadows taller than our NAV soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines transparent white light and wants to show
How every get rich quick scheme can never turn to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.
And he's buying the Stairway to Bailout Heaven.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND
WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM
January 28, 2009
KLAUS SCHWAB, FOUNDER OF WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM ANNOUNCES SURPRISE PANEL
GLOBAL PONZINOMICS: THE VIEW FROM WALL STREET
The following are excerpts from today's surprise panel discussion:
KLAUS SCHWAB: Distinguished guests, today we have arranged a surprise panel to lead us through the cutting edge of Global Ponzinomics. As you all know, the modern day version of Ponzinomics has its origins on Wall Street. I know you are all keen to hear directly from the leaders of Wall Street as well as the regulators all of whom made this remarkable feat of financial wizardry possible. The organisers of the Forum have spared no expense in bringing you a first rate panel. I would like to thank the United States Marshall Service for its cooperation in making it possible for Mr. Madoff to attend the Forum. That is a custom designed Cartier bailout bracelet Bernie is wearing. It is designed to explode if he gets within 50 yards of any UBS Branch in Davos. Mr. Madoff requires no introduction. His genius and modesty is well known. We thought it would be appropriate for Bernie to lead today's panel discussion. At this time I would also like to thank Citigroup for providing special air transport services to bring the panel participants straight to Davos on such short notice. Without further delay, I turn the discussion over to Bernie.
BERNIE MADOFF: "I would like to express my sincere gratitude to many of the participants in this forum. Without their undying support for so many years, my achievements would not have been possible. They deserve much of the credit for making the modern paradigm of this fascinating art possible. As you all know, Ponzinomics were invented by Charles Ponzi some 100 years ago. Who would have thought that the genius of this humble man would become the driving force behind today's global financial markets. Dick, before I forget, would you please be good enough give me the number of that Real Estate lawyer in Palm Beach."
DICK FULD: "We thought we had all the bases covered. We were hedged up the wazoo. I was certain that we managed to make ourselves too big to fail. In the end I was wrong. I underestimated the financial tsunami of 2008. My big mistake was not finding a way to put a Lehman banker in the Treasury Department. Lloyd you snookered me on that one."
JOHN THAIN: "I would like to start by saying three things: First, I have posted my French Commode along with my resume on Craig's list and Monster.com, Second, Ken you can take that faux hand Grenade sitting on your desk and shove it you know where. As we shall see, BAC is one big live hand grenade and Ken has already pulled the pin, Third, can anyone tell me where I can find a reputable antique dealer in Davos? Oh, and one more thing, Stan O Neal owes me my bonus."
KEN LEWIS: "John, you and I both know that I'm the CEO of BAC and you are not. You did not jump on the bailout hand grenade like a good bailout soldier. For this you must suffer the consequences. If this is not good enough, I will meet you on the top of the Weissfluhgipfel at O-700 hours for a Chinese downhill. The downhill will decide everything."
HANK GREENBURG: "You are all a bunch of rascals, give me back my Company so I can lose it fairly!"
LLOYD BLANKFEIN: "As I have said on many occasions, the Goldman investment banking model remains sound. We concentrated our efforts on putting men of Gold in the halls of power. This has paid off handsomely. Hank Paulsen saved us from the AIG explosion. The primary purpose of TARP was to save Goldman Sachs and this goal was achieved magnificently. Hopefully, the hiccups we are experiencing will dissappear in due course. Then we can all get back to business as usual."
VIKRAM PANDIT: "In response to yesterday's negative press we have decided to divide the Citigroup jet fleet into two halves consisting of good jets and bad jets..."
JIMMIE CAYNE: "Anyone know where I can find a decent bridge game around here?"
STEPHEN SCHWARZMAN: As you all know, I am CEO of the Flintstone Group, a humongous (2big) financial (systemic) juggernaut ready to (fail) implode (risk). I don't mean to sound self serving or pedantic, but the reason we are in this mess is very simple, not enough leverage. Remember--Flintstone Group, not enough leverage, systemic risk.
PHIL GRAMM: "If we could just stop all the whining."
ALAN GREENSPAN: "Where am I?"
BOB RUBIN: "Shut up Al, your giving me a headache."
CHRISTOPHER COX: "I just did what I was told to do."
VLAD PUTIN: Gentlemans, you are all cordially invited to spend a few days with my Dacha in Chita Sibera, following this Summit. We Russians would like to thank you (the Russian way) for the financial Chernobyl engineered by your kind selves and the damage to Vodkanomics.
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION:
Go to the WilliamBanzai7 Blog
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND
WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM
January 28, 2009
KLAUS SCHWAB, FOUNDER OF WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM ANNOUNCES SURPRISE PANEL
GLOBAL PONZINOMICS: THE VIEW FROM WALL STREET
The following are excerpts from today's surprise panel discussion:
KLAUS SCHWAB: Distinguished guests, today we have arranged a surprise panel to lead us through the cutting edge of Global Ponzinomics. As you all know, the modern day version of Ponzinomics has its origins on Wall Street. I know you are all keen to hear directly from the leaders of Wall Street as well as the regulators all of whom made this remarkable feat of financial wizardry possible. The organisers of the Forum have spared no expense in bringing you a first rate panel. I would like to thank the United States Marshall Service for its cooperation in making it possible for Mr. Madoff to attend the Forum. That is a custom designed Cartier bailout bracelet Bernie is wearing. It is designed to explode if he gets within 50 yards of any UBS Branch in Davos. Mr. Madoff requires no introduction. His genius and modesty is well known. We thought it would be appropriate for Bernie to lead today's panel discussion. At this time I would also like to thank Citigroup for providing special air transport services to bring the panel participants straight to Davos on such short notice. Without further delay, I turn the discussion over to Bernie.
BERNIE MADOFF: "I would like to express my sincere gratitude to many of the participants in this forum. Without their undying support for so many years, my achievements would not have been possible. They deserve much of the credit for making the modern paradigm of this fascinating art possible. As you all know, Ponzinomics were invented by Charles Ponzi some 100 years ago. Who would have thought that the genius of this humble man would become the driving force behind today's global financial markets. Dick, before I forget, would you please be good enough give me the number of that Real Estate lawyer in Palm Beach."
DICK FULD: "We thought we had all the bases covered. We were hedged up the wazoo. I was certain that we managed to make ourselves too big to fail. In the end I was wrong. I underestimated the financial tsunami of 2008. My big mistake was not finding a way to put a Lehman banker in the Treasury Department. Lloyd you snookered me on that one."
JOHN THAIN: "I would like to start by saying three things: First, I have posted my French Commode along with my resume on Craig's list and Monster.com, Second, Ken you can take that faux hand Grenade sitting on your desk and shove it you know where. As we shall see, BAC is one big live hand grenade and Ken has already pulled the pin, Third, can anyone tell me where I can find a reputable antique dealer in Davos? Oh, and one more thing, Stan O Neal owes me my bonus."
KEN LEWIS: "John, you and I both know that I'm the CEO of BAC and you are not. You did not jump on the bailout hand grenade like a good bailout soldier. For this you must suffer the consequences. If this is not good enough, I will meet you on the top of the Weissfluhgipfel at O-700 hours for a Chinese downhill. The downhill will decide everything."
HANK GREENBURG: "You are all a bunch of rascals, give me back my Company so I can lose it fairly!"
LLOYD BLANKFEIN: "As I have said on many occasions, the Goldman investment banking model remains sound. We concentrated our efforts on putting men of Gold in the halls of power. This has paid off handsomely. Hank Paulsen saved us from the AIG explosion. The primary purpose of TARP was to save Goldman Sachs and this goal was achieved magnificently. Hopefully, the hiccups we are experiencing will dissappear in due course. Then we can all get back to business as usual."
VIKRAM PANDIT: "In response to yesterday's negative press we have decided to divide the Citigroup jet fleet into two halves consisting of good jets and bad jets..."
JIMMIE CAYNE: "Anyone know where I can find a decent bridge game around here?"
STEPHEN SCHWARZMAN: As you all know, I am CEO of the Flintstone Group, a humongous (2big) financial (systemic) juggernaut ready to (fail) implode (risk). I don't mean to sound self serving or pedantic, but the reason we are in this mess is very simple, not enough leverage. Remember--Flintstone Group, not enough leverage, systemic risk.
PHIL GRAMM: "If we could just stop all the whining."
ALAN GREENSPAN: "Where am I?"
BOB RUBIN: "Shut up Al, your giving me a headache."
CHRISTOPHER COX: "I just did what I was told to do."
VLAD PUTIN: Gentlemans, you are all cordially invited to spend a few days with my Dacha in Chita Sibera, following this Summit. We Russians would like to thank you (the Russian way) for the financial Chernobyl engineered by your kind selves and the damage to Vodkanomics.
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION:
Go to the WilliamBanzai7 Blog
MAMAS DON'T LET YOUR BABIES GROW UP TO BE WALL STREET COWBOYS
(MaMa's Dont Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys, Waylon Jennings)
WilliamBanzai7
Wall Street cowboys ain't easy to love and they're harder to hold.
They'd rather give you a tin cup than diamonds or gold.
Gucci belt buckles and Hermes ties,
And each night begins a new trading day.
If you don't understand him, an' he don't die young,
He'll prob'ly just fade away.
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Wall Street cowboys.
Don't let 'em carry blackberries, watch Bloomberg or drive Lexus SUV trucks.
Let 'em be doctors or even lawyers and such.
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be Wall Street cowboys.
'Cos they'll trade you out of house and home and they're always alone.
Even with someone they pretend to love.
Wall Street Cowboys like smokey old strip clubs and bull market runs,
Gullible lambs to fleece and girls of the night.
Them that don't know him won't like him and them that do,
Sometimes won't know how to tolerate his delusions of grandeur.
He thinks he's invincible, he's not different but his pride won't let him admit it,
Don't do things to make him think he's right.
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Wall Street cowboys.
Don't let 'em carry blackberries, watch Bloomberg or drive LEXUS SUV trucks.
Let 'em be doctors or even lawyers and such.
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be Wall Street cowboys.
'Cos they'll trade you out of house and home and they're always alone.
Even with someone they pretend to love.
(MaMa's Dont Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys, Waylon Jennings)
WilliamBanzai7
Wall Street cowboys ain't easy to love and they're harder to hold.
They'd rather give you a tin cup than diamonds or gold.
Gucci belt buckles and Hermes ties,
And each night begins a new trading day.
If you don't understand him, an' he don't die young,
He'll prob'ly just fade away.
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Wall Street cowboys.
Don't let 'em carry blackberries, watch Bloomberg or drive Lexus SUV trucks.
Let 'em be doctors or even lawyers and such.
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be Wall Street cowboys.
'Cos they'll trade you out of house and home and they're always alone.
Even with someone they pretend to love.
Wall Street Cowboys like smokey old strip clubs and bull market runs,
Gullible lambs to fleece and girls of the night.
Them that don't know him won't like him and them that do,
Sometimes won't know how to tolerate his delusions of grandeur.
He thinks he's invincible, he's not different but his pride won't let him admit it,
Don't do things to make him think he's right.
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Wall Street cowboys.
Don't let 'em carry blackberries, watch Bloomberg or drive LEXUS SUV trucks.
Let 'em be doctors or even lawyers and such.
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be Wall Street cowboys.
'Cos they'll trade you out of house and home and they're always alone.
Even with someone they pretend to love.
WALL STREET NEVER CHANGES
"Wall Street never changes. The pockets change, the suckers change, the stocks change, but Wall Street never changes because human nature never changes." Jesse Livermore
The noxious news spewing from the marble cesspools of Wall Street continues to get more incredible by the day. In less than a year American's have witnessed a historic melt down in the financial markets, the humbling of the Wall Street Investment banks, a mega housing bust, a mega Ponzi scheme, the mother of all government funded bailouts, compensation greed and excess run amuck, mega regulatory ineptitude, mega layoffs and record unemployment...the list goes on and on.
Those Wall Street scions who figured at the center of this this fiasco have inflicted immeasurable pain and suffering on ordinary Americans. They have sabotaged the engine that drives the American economy and jeopardized the global preeminence of the United States.
Now we are witnessing the complete breakdown of civility amongst these modern day robber baron thieves and their bagmen. The shameless public display of "cover your ass" by the likes of Gramm, Cox, Thain, Lewis, Fuld, Greenspan and company is too nauseating to behold. This week's cat fight between John "Complain" and Ken "Screwless" is the latest example. All who are implicated in this sorry mother of all financial meltdowns refuse to take responsibility.
Comically some expect us to take pity on people like Dick (the "Gorila") Fuld or the thousands of financial spinners the pied pipers of greed led into the financial vortex.
Wait with bated breath for the culprits to be held duly accountable. In the meantime, it is the duty of every right thinking American to hold these scoundrels up to public scorn and ridicule. They deserve to be verbally tarred and feathered. All who exercise their right of free speech by holding these conniving rascals up to the light and exposing them as the despicable Ivy League con men that they are to be congratulated for fulfilling their civic duty.
In 1902, Franklin Keyes, a prominent Wall Street lawyer once said: Wall Street speculation "fosters a ring of idle gamblers, parasites upon society, who prey upon the fortunes of the honest and industrious; such people are a menace to the legitimate business interests of the country and an element of danger to the republic."
Some things never change.
WilliamBanzai7
http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/
"Wall Street never changes. The pockets change, the suckers change, the stocks change, but Wall Street never changes because human nature never changes." Jesse Livermore
The noxious news spewing from the marble cesspools of Wall Street continues to get more incredible by the day. In less than a year American's have witnessed a historic melt down in the financial markets, the humbling of the Wall Street Investment banks, a mega housing bust, a mega Ponzi scheme, the mother of all government funded bailouts, compensation greed and excess run amuck, mega regulatory ineptitude, mega layoffs and record unemployment...the list goes on and on.
Those Wall Street scions who figured at the center of this this fiasco have inflicted immeasurable pain and suffering on ordinary Americans. They have sabotaged the engine that drives the American economy and jeopardized the global preeminence of the United States.
Now we are witnessing the complete breakdown of civility amongst these modern day robber baron thieves and their bagmen. The shameless public display of "cover your ass" by the likes of Gramm, Cox, Thain, Lewis, Fuld, Greenspan and company is too nauseating to behold. This week's cat fight between John "Complain" and Ken "Screwless" is the latest example. All who are implicated in this sorry mother of all financial meltdowns refuse to take responsibility.
Comically some expect us to take pity on people like Dick (the "Gorila") Fuld or the thousands of financial spinners the pied pipers of greed led into the financial vortex.
Wait with bated breath for the culprits to be held duly accountable. In the meantime, it is the duty of every right thinking American to hold these scoundrels up to public scorn and ridicule. They deserve to be verbally tarred and feathered. All who exercise their right of free speech by holding these conniving rascals up to the light and exposing them as the despicable Ivy League con men that they are to be congratulated for fulfilling their civic duty.
In 1902, Franklin Keyes, a prominent Wall Street lawyer once said: Wall Street speculation "fosters a ring of idle gamblers, parasites upon society, who prey upon the fortunes of the honest and industrious; such people are a menace to the legitimate business interests of the country and an element of danger to the republic."
Some things never change.
WilliamBanzai7
http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
P.O.N.Z.I. IN THE U.S.A.
P.O.N.Z.I. SCAMIN in the U.S.A.
(R.O.C.K. in the USA, John Mellencamp)
WilliamBanzai7
Sing along link: http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=99DH5Eg-VcQ
They came to New York City
To become banksta scamsta financial clowns
MBAs, PhDs, Huckstas and Cons
Smokin securitized crack boom bam
Chorus:
PONZI SCAMIN in the U.S.A.
PONZI SCAMIN its the Wall Street way
PONZI SCAMIN in the U.S.A., yeah, yeah!
SCAMIN' in the U.S.A.
Said goodbye to ethics
Said goodbye to common sense
With dreams of bonus treasure in their heads
And lots of cheap debt and hopium in their hands
Some are black most are white
Ain't to proud to colocate on the NYSE floor tonight
With the blind faith in Croesus you know that they just might, be
SCAMIN' in the U.S.A.
Hey!
Voices from Friedman, Greenspan
And the rest of those Chicago School clowns
Filled their heads full of dreams of limitless greed
Turned the world of finance upside down
There was DICKIE FULD--JIMMY CAYNE--JOHNNY THAIN
(they were SCAMIN')
CITIGROUP--AIG--BAC
(they were SCAMIN')
Spotlight on MADOFF
Let's don't forget CHUCKIE PRINCE, STAN O NEAL and PANDIT THE CLOWN
SCAMIN' in the U.S.A.
SCAMIN' in the U.S.A.
Hey!
Chorus:
PONZI SCAMIN' in the U.S.A.
PONZI SCAMIN' its the Wall Street way
PONZI SCAMIN' in the U.S.A. yeah, yeah!
SCAMIN' in the U.S.A.
KENNY THE BAILOUT MOOCHER
(Minnie the Moocher, Cab Calloway)
WilliamBanzai7
Sing along link: http: KENNY THE BAILOUT MOOCHER
(Minnie the Moocher, Cab Calloway)
WilliamBanzai7
Sing along link: http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=8mq4UT4VnbE&feature=related
Hey folks here's the story bout Kenny the bailout moocher
He was a low down Charlotte BAC hoochie coocher
His was the roughest toughest banking sob tale
But Kenny had an appetite as big as a securitized whale
Hidehidehidehi (hidehidehidehi)
Hodehodehodeho (hodehodehodeho)
Hedehedehedehe (hedehedehedehe)
Hidehidehideho (hidehidehideho)
One weekend he messed around with a bloke named Thain
He wanted the Merrill Bulls or he'd go completely insane
Thain took him round the block to Chinatown
And showed old Kenny how Wall Street gangstas kick the gong around
Hidehidehide-LEVEL 3 (hidehidehidehi)
Whoah (whoah)
Hedehedehede-GREED (hedehedehedehe)
A hidehidehideho CDO (hidehidehideho)
Kenny had a dream bout yet another financial supermarket
It would give him things that he was needin
It would give him a home built of gold and steel
A diamond studded learjet with platinum wheels
A hidehidehidehidehidehidehi (hidehidehidehidehidehidehi)
Hodehodehodehodehodehodeho (hodehodehodehodehodehodeho)
Thain sold Ken a herd of sick cows and a boatload of subprime losses
Each meal Ken ate was full of surprising new derivative courses
Had a billion dollars worth of taxpayer nickels and dimes
He sat around and counted them all a million times
Hidehidehide-LEVEL 3 (hidehidehidehi)
Hodehodehode-CDO (hodehodehodeho)
Hedehedehede-GREED (hedehedehedehe)
Hidehidehide-HOSED (hidehidehideho)
POOOOOOR MAN
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR MAN
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR MAN
Hey folks here's the story bout Kenny the bailout moocher
He was a low down Charlotte BAC hoochie coocher
His was the roughest toughest banking sob tale
But Kenny had an appetite as big as a securitized whale
Hidehidehidehi (hidehidehidehi)
Hodehodehodeho (hodehodehodeho)
Hedehedehedehe (hedehedehedehe)
Hidehidehideho (hidehidehideho)
One weekend he messed around with a bloke named Thain
He wanted the Merrill Bulls or he'd go completely insane
Thain took him round the block to Chinatown
And showed old Kenny how Wall Street gangstas kick the gong around
Hidehidehide-LEVEL 3 (hidehidehidehi)
Whoah (whoah)
Hedehedehede-GREED (hedehedehedehe)
A hidehidehideho CDO (hidehidehideho)
Kenny had a dream bout yet another financial supermarket
It would give him things that he was needin
It would give him a home built of gold and steel
A diamond studded learjet with platinum wheels
A hidehidehidehidehidehidehi (hidehidehidehidehidehidehi)
Hodehodehodehodehodehodeho (hodehodehodehodehodehodeho)
Thain sold Ken a herd of sick cows and a boatload of subprime losses
Each meal Ken ate was full of surprising new derivative courses
Had a billion dollars worth of taxpayer nickels and dimes
He sat around and counted them all a million times
Hidehidehide-LEVEL 3 (hidehidehidehi)
Hodehodehode-CDO (hodehodehodeho)
Hedehedehede-GREED (hedehedehedehe)
Hidehidehide-HOSED (hidehidehideho)
POOOOOOR MAN
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR MAN
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR MAN
(Minnie the Moocher, Cab Calloway)
WilliamBanzai7
Sing along link: http: KENNY THE BAILOUT MOOCHER
(Minnie the Moocher, Cab Calloway)
WilliamBanzai7
Sing along link: http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=8mq4UT4VnbE&feature=related
Hey folks here's the story bout Kenny the bailout moocher
He was a low down Charlotte BAC hoochie coocher
His was the roughest toughest banking sob tale
But Kenny had an appetite as big as a securitized whale
Hidehidehidehi (hidehidehidehi)
Hodehodehodeho (hodehodehodeho)
Hedehedehedehe (hedehedehedehe)
Hidehidehideho (hidehidehideho)
One weekend he messed around with a bloke named Thain
He wanted the Merrill Bulls or he'd go completely insane
Thain took him round the block to Chinatown
And showed old Kenny how Wall Street gangstas kick the gong around
Hidehidehide-LEVEL 3 (hidehidehidehi)
Whoah (whoah)
Hedehedehede-GREED (hedehedehedehe)
A hidehidehideho CDO (hidehidehideho)
Kenny had a dream bout yet another financial supermarket
It would give him things that he was needin
It would give him a home built of gold and steel
A diamond studded learjet with platinum wheels
A hidehidehidehidehidehidehi (hidehidehidehidehidehidehi)
Hodehodehodehodehodehodeho (hodehodehodehodehodehodeho)
Thain sold Ken a herd of sick cows and a boatload of subprime losses
Each meal Ken ate was full of surprising new derivative courses
Had a billion dollars worth of taxpayer nickels and dimes
He sat around and counted them all a million times
Hidehidehide-LEVEL 3 (hidehidehidehi)
Hodehodehode-CDO (hodehodehodeho)
Hedehedehede-GREED (hedehedehedehe)
Hidehidehide-HOSED (hidehidehideho)
POOOOOOR MAN
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR MAN
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR MAN
Hey folks here's the story bout Kenny the bailout moocher
He was a low down Charlotte BAC hoochie coocher
His was the roughest toughest banking sob tale
But Kenny had an appetite as big as a securitized whale
Hidehidehidehi (hidehidehidehi)
Hodehodehodeho (hodehodehodeho)
Hedehedehedehe (hedehedehedehe)
Hidehidehideho (hidehidehideho)
One weekend he messed around with a bloke named Thain
He wanted the Merrill Bulls or he'd go completely insane
Thain took him round the block to Chinatown
And showed old Kenny how Wall Street gangstas kick the gong around
Hidehidehide-LEVEL 3 (hidehidehidehi)
Whoah (whoah)
Hedehedehede-GREED (hedehedehedehe)
A hidehidehideho CDO (hidehidehideho)
Kenny had a dream bout yet another financial supermarket
It would give him things that he was needin
It would give him a home built of gold and steel
A diamond studded learjet with platinum wheels
A hidehidehidehidehidehidehi (hidehidehidehidehidehidehi)
Hodehodehodehodehodehodeho (hodehodehodehodehodehodeho)
Thain sold Ken a herd of sick cows and a boatload of subprime losses
Each meal Ken ate was full of surprising new derivative courses
Had a billion dollars worth of taxpayer nickels and dimes
He sat around and counted them all a million times
Hidehidehide-LEVEL 3 (hidehidehidehi)
Hodehodehode-CDO (hodehodehodeho)
Hedehedehede-GREED (hedehedehedehe)
Hidehidehide-HOSED (hidehidehideho)
POOOOOOR MAN
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR MAN
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR MAN
HIT THE ROAD JOHN THAIN
(Hit the Road Jack, Ray Charles)
WilliamBanzai7
Woah Ken, oh Ken, don't treat me so mean,
You're the meanest and dumbest banker CEO that I've ever seen.
I guess if you said so
I have to pack my French commode and go. (That's right)
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more.)
What you say?
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Thain and don't you complain no more.)
Now Ken baby, listen, don't ya treat me this-a way
Cause I'll be back to my slippery Wall Street ways one day.
(Don't care if you do 'cause it's understood)
(your pre-merger shennigans just ain't no good)
Well, I guess if you say so
I'd have to pack my French commode and go. (That's right)
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more.)
What you say?
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more.)
you must be joking?
(don't you come back no more.)
what you trying to do to me Ken?
(don't you come back no more.)
Didn't you understand it was a sale "as is"?
(don't you come back no more.)
You can't mean that,
(don't you come back no more.)
Oh, now Ken baby, please
(don't you come back no more.)
What you tryin' to do to me?
(don't you come back no more.)
Oh, Ken don't treat me like that
(don't you come back no more.)
(Hit the Road Jack, Ray Charles)
WilliamBanzai7
Woah Ken, oh Ken, don't treat me so mean,
You're the meanest and dumbest banker CEO that I've ever seen.
I guess if you said so
I have to pack my French commode and go. (That's right)
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more.)
What you say?
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Thain and don't you complain no more.)
Now Ken baby, listen, don't ya treat me this-a way
Cause I'll be back to my slippery Wall Street ways one day.
(Don't care if you do 'cause it's understood)
(your pre-merger shennigans just ain't no good)
Well, I guess if you say so
I'd have to pack my French commode and go. (That's right)
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more.)
What you say?
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Thain and don't you come back no more.)
you must be joking?
(don't you come back no more.)
what you trying to do to me Ken?
(don't you come back no more.)
Didn't you understand it was a sale "as is"?
(don't you come back no more.)
You can't mean that,
(don't you come back no more.)
Oh, now Ken baby, please
(don't you come back no more.)
What you tryin' to do to me?
(don't you come back no more.)
Oh, Ken don't treat me like that
(don't you come back no more.)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
FROM: CAPITAL DEFORMATION--Banker Conversations
(WilliamBanzai7)
KEN: Nice carpet John, should I take of my shoes?
JOHN: Use the slippers by the door.
KEN: I hear their selling Bernie's fleet. Some nice hardware there.
JOHN: The guy is a seedy low life crook, he belongs behind bars.
KEN: Come on John, don't be so hard on the man. He's like all of us in a sense.
JOHN: Have a seat KEN (Pointing to COMMODE ON LEGS)
KEN: Man this place make my digs look like a Japanese bankers office.
JOHN: (Sitting in George the IV Chair) Dozo Ken-san. Every Wall Street Shogun has his castle.
KEN: So you got your bonus after all?
JOHN: How so?
KEN: You gave it to all your friends down the hall and spent the pre-installment on this fancy french hardware.
JOHN: You like that eh? It's what we in the business call an AIG omelet.
KEN: You know John, I think I am going to go over and have a look at Bernie's fleet.
JOHN: Shall I join you. You know China Fun is just down the block from his place.
KEN: No John, you stay here and pack this stuff up while I'm gone.
JOHN: Pack?
KEN: Yes, pack. I want you on the street by 5 PM.
JOHN: I don't even have any shrink wrap!
KEN: The only shrink wrap you need is Dr. Schadenfreude rapping the "Bailout shuffle"
JOHN: See you in bailout hell Ken.
KEN: We are already there John. We are already there.
[One hour later]
BERNIE: Ken, you have my sympathy. People just don't appreciate the Ponzi business model in all its subtle manifestations.
KEN: Skip the sermon Bernie, I'll take em all.
(WilliamBanzai7)
KEN: Nice carpet John, should I take of my shoes?
JOHN: Use the slippers by the door.
KEN: I hear their selling Bernie's fleet. Some nice hardware there.
JOHN: The guy is a seedy low life crook, he belongs behind bars.
KEN: Come on John, don't be so hard on the man. He's like all of us in a sense.
JOHN: Have a seat KEN (Pointing to COMMODE ON LEGS)
KEN: Man this place make my digs look like a Japanese bankers office.
JOHN: (Sitting in George the IV Chair) Dozo Ken-san. Every Wall Street Shogun has his castle.
KEN: So you got your bonus after all?
JOHN: How so?
KEN: You gave it to all your friends down the hall and spent the pre-installment on this fancy french hardware.
JOHN: You like that eh? It's what we in the business call an AIG omelet.
KEN: You know John, I think I am going to go over and have a look at Bernie's fleet.
JOHN: Shall I join you. You know China Fun is just down the block from his place.
KEN: No John, you stay here and pack this stuff up while I'm gone.
JOHN: Pack?
KEN: Yes, pack. I want you on the street by 5 PM.
JOHN: I don't even have any shrink wrap!
KEN: The only shrink wrap you need is Dr. Schadenfreude rapping the "Bailout shuffle"
JOHN: See you in bailout hell Ken.
KEN: We are already there John. We are already there.
[One hour later]
BERNIE: Ken, you have my sympathy. People just don't appreciate the Ponzi business model in all its subtle manifestations.
KEN: Skip the sermon Bernie, I'll take em all.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
WHY I WANT US AIR CAPTAIN SULLENBERGER TO BE THE CEO MY BANK
WilliamBanzai7
On a cold January day when they would have been focused on the incredible
stream of bad news spewing from Wall Street, New Yorkers
were instead treated to the enthralling news that a US Air Flight was averted from disaster by
a brave crew lead by Pilot Chesley Sullenberger III. The
event has been dubbed "The Miracle on the Hudson" and Captain
Sullenberger has been hailed as a hero. He is a modest
man and is evidently reluctant to assume this new status.
What is becoming clear from the news reports is the character of
the man. The passengers of Flight 1549 were fortunate to have
Captain Sullenberger as their pilot. The miracle on the Hudson, it would seem,
was preceded by many many years of dedication, training and "worst case scenario" preparation.
Lets contrast the attributes of Captain Sullenberger with the attributes
of the CEO's piloting the financial institutions attempting to recover from
the so called Black Swan events plaguing the financial markets. After all,
Captain Sullenberger apparently recovered from the mother of all "Black Swan" flight
events, two of them knocking out both engines over a densely populated city.
It would appear that Wall Street has much to learn.
First of all, Captain Sullenberger spent a great deal of time studying and
preparing for a disastrous low probability event. Pilots assume and prepare
for worst case scenarios even though the chance of
occurrence is an outlier. A double engine failure from a bird strike is just such an event.
Lets contrast that with Wall Street CEOs. Its a good thing they are not
airline pilots. They were all totally unprepared for the events leading to the
current bailout debacle. They would argue that these were Black Swan events of
of highly unlikely probability. Nouriel Roubini and Nicholas Taleb would beg to differ.
There was plenty of adequate warning. Instead of cooly preparing to ditch like
Captain Sullenberger, they continued their assent on a tank filled with fumes. Now their instituitions are crashing in flames.
They can be compared to Icarus flying too close to the sun with their wax wings melting in mid flight.
Next, Captain Sullenberger trained and knew how to fly his aircraft with both engines
knocked out. Gliding is one of his side pursuits and this apparently figured positively
in the perfect Hudson landing. Lets contrast this with Wall Street CEOs.
They have no idea how to fly their institutions with their primary economic engines
knocked out. Lloyd Blankfein insists that Goldman Sachs can fly the same investment banking
model it has been flying for years. What if Captain Sullenberger had flown Flight 1549
as if both engines remained fully operational?
Onward, Captain Sullenberger is honest and transparent. His passengers were his stakeholders and
he pulled no punches. His laconic words: "Brace for impact." Wall Street bankers are not
transparent, if they were flying Flight 1549 here is the kind of mealy mouthed
dribble the passengers would have heard: Attention all passengers, we appear to be challenged
by strong headwinds and both our engines appear troubled but nevertheless well positioned to
see us through to a safe landing. We have run a regression analysis on
the relevant data and are 99% confident that this plane is adequately positioned to
exploit future flying opportunities."
Finally Captain Sullenberger is selfless, he was the last
one to disembark from his vessel only after he checked twice to make sure everyone was safe.
Lets contrast that with Wall Street CEOs. There are two kinds, those who took the money and bailed early
and those who stayed behind to usher their crew out the layoff exit. Need I say more?
Yes its a good thing Wall Street CEOs are not airline pilots. They have much
to learn from Captain Sullenberger. And that is why I want Captain Sullenberger to be the CEO
of my bank. But, guys like Capt Sullenberger only engage in endeavors that they have trained for.
WilliamBanzai7
On a cold January day when they would have been focused on the incredible
stream of bad news spewing from Wall Street, New Yorkers
were instead treated to the enthralling news that a US Air Flight was averted from disaster by
a brave crew lead by Pilot Chesley Sullenberger III. The
event has been dubbed "The Miracle on the Hudson" and Captain
Sullenberger has been hailed as a hero. He is a modest
man and is evidently reluctant to assume this new status.
What is becoming clear from the news reports is the character of
the man. The passengers of Flight 1549 were fortunate to have
Captain Sullenberger as their pilot. The miracle on the Hudson, it would seem,
was preceded by many many years of dedication, training and "worst case scenario" preparation.
Lets contrast the attributes of Captain Sullenberger with the attributes
of the CEO's piloting the financial institutions attempting to recover from
the so called Black Swan events plaguing the financial markets. After all,
Captain Sullenberger apparently recovered from the mother of all "Black Swan" flight
events, two of them knocking out both engines over a densely populated city.
It would appear that Wall Street has much to learn.
First of all, Captain Sullenberger spent a great deal of time studying and
preparing for a disastrous low probability event. Pilots assume and prepare
for worst case scenarios even though the chance of
occurrence is an outlier. A double engine failure from a bird strike is just such an event.
Lets contrast that with Wall Street CEOs. Its a good thing they are not
airline pilots. They were all totally unprepared for the events leading to the
current bailout debacle. They would argue that these were Black Swan events of
of highly unlikely probability. Nouriel Roubini and Nicholas Taleb would beg to differ.
There was plenty of adequate warning. Instead of cooly preparing to ditch like
Captain Sullenberger, they continued their assent on a tank filled with fumes. Now their instituitions are crashing in flames.
They can be compared to Icarus flying too close to the sun with their wax wings melting in mid flight.
Next, Captain Sullenberger trained and knew how to fly his aircraft with both engines
knocked out. Gliding is one of his side pursuits and this apparently figured positively
in the perfect Hudson landing. Lets contrast this with Wall Street CEOs.
They have no idea how to fly their institutions with their primary economic engines
knocked out. Lloyd Blankfein insists that Goldman Sachs can fly the same investment banking
model it has been flying for years. What if Captain Sullenberger had flown Flight 1549
as if both engines remained fully operational?
Onward, Captain Sullenberger is honest and transparent. His passengers were his stakeholders and
he pulled no punches. His laconic words: "Brace for impact." Wall Street bankers are not
transparent, if they were flying Flight 1549 here is the kind of mealy mouthed
dribble the passengers would have heard: Attention all passengers, we appear to be challenged
by strong headwinds and both our engines appear troubled but nevertheless well positioned to
see us through to a safe landing. We have run a regression analysis on
the relevant data and are 99% confident that this plane is adequately positioned to
exploit future flying opportunities."
Finally Captain Sullenberger is selfless, he was the last
one to disembark from his vessel only after he checked twice to make sure everyone was safe.
Lets contrast that with Wall Street CEOs. There are two kinds, those who took the money and bailed early
and those who stayed behind to usher their crew out the layoff exit. Need I say more?
Yes its a good thing Wall Street CEOs are not airline pilots. They have much
to learn from Captain Sullenberger. And that is why I want Captain Sullenberger to be the CEO
of my bank. But, guys like Capt Sullenberger only engage in endeavors that they have trained for.
Friday, January 16, 2009
YOU'RE JOHN THAIN
(You're so Vain, Carley Simon)
WilliamBanzai7
You waltzed into the Bail Out party
Like you were sailing on an unsinkable yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was really hiding a mega Merrill subprime surprise
You had one eye on the Level III mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all those second rate Charlotte Bankers dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and
You're John Thain
And yes this song is about you
Don't complain
I'll bet you think B of A can't live without you
Without you? Without you?
You had Ken Lewis several months ago
When he was so naive its hard to believe
Well, you said that the Thundering Herd would make an awesome notch on his sleeve
And that you John Thain would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was a 10 Million Dollar bonus snub
And good ol Ken's grandiose dreams turned out to be clouds in his bailout coffee
Clouds in his bailout coffee, and
You're John Thain
And yes this song is about you
You're John Thain
I'll bet you think B of A can't live without you
Don't you? Don't you?
(You're so Vain, Carley Simon)
WilliamBanzai7
You waltzed into the Bail Out party
Like you were sailing on an unsinkable yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was really hiding a mega Merrill subprime surprise
You had one eye on the Level III mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all those second rate Charlotte Bankers dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and
You're John Thain
And yes this song is about you
Don't complain
I'll bet you think B of A can't live without you
Without you? Without you?
You had Ken Lewis several months ago
When he was so naive its hard to believe
Well, you said that the Thundering Herd would make an awesome notch on his sleeve
And that you John Thain would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was a 10 Million Dollar bonus snub
And good ol Ken's grandiose dreams turned out to be clouds in his bailout coffee
Clouds in his bailout coffee, and
You're John Thain
And yes this song is about you
You're John Thain
I'll bet you think B of A can't live without you
Don't you? Don't you?
Thursday, January 15, 2009
ALL ALONG THE WALL STREET WATCHTOWER
(All Along the Watchtower, Bob Dylan/Jimi Hendrix)
WilliamBanzai7
There must be some kind of way out of here
Said the investor to the banker thief
Theres too much opaque confusion
I cant get no relief
Wall Street con men they drink my wine
Ponzi rigged investment schemes
None will level on the line
Nobody thinks we've reached the worst
Hey hey
No reason to get excited
The banker thief he kindly spoke
There are many here among us
Who feel that the markets are but a joke but uh
But you and I weve been through that
And this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely and deceptive now
The market hours getting late
Hey
Hey
All along the Wall Street watchtower
Banker princes kept the view
While those laid off came and went
Back office servants to, but huh
Outside in the cold distance
The mother of all Bears did growl
New Fed Bailout riders were approachin
And the declining market winds began to howl
Hey
Oh
All along the Wall Street watchtower
Hear you sing around the watch
Gotta beware gotta beware
Yeah
Ooh baby
All along the Wall Street watchtower
(All Along the Watchtower, Bob Dylan/Jimi Hendrix)
WilliamBanzai7
There must be some kind of way out of here
Said the investor to the banker thief
Theres too much opaque confusion
I cant get no relief
Wall Street con men they drink my wine
Ponzi rigged investment schemes
None will level on the line
Nobody thinks we've reached the worst
Hey hey
No reason to get excited
The banker thief he kindly spoke
There are many here among us
Who feel that the markets are but a joke but uh
But you and I weve been through that
And this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely and deceptive now
The market hours getting late
Hey
Hey
All along the Wall Street watchtower
Banker princes kept the view
While those laid off came and went
Back office servants to, but huh
Outside in the cold distance
The mother of all Bears did growl
New Fed Bailout riders were approachin
And the declining market winds began to howl
Hey
Oh
All along the Wall Street watchtower
Hear you sing around the watch
Gotta beware gotta beware
Yeah
Ooh baby
All along the Wall Street watchtower
OH "B of A" FLOAT AWAY
(Oh Shenandoah)
WilliamBanzai7
Oh B of A,
Your Board's retarded,
Float away as your shareholders quiver,
Oh B of A,
Your CEO has screwed you,
Away, your market caps bound away
'Cross the wide Merrill Level III divide.
Oh B of A,
Your market cred's been slaughtered,
Squandered away as your Board twittered,
They'll take her 'cross
The rollin' bailout river,
Away, your bound away
'Crossing Paulsen's rolling TARP highwater line.
'Tis been just one Q,
Since Merrill bent you over,
And on that day
You thought you could win by being bigger,
But your shareholder returns,
Began their downward spiral,
Sucked away, sucked away
In the Bear market's fury.
Oh B of A,
Sorry but we have to leave you.
Away you inept Magilla,
Oh B oa A,
We've all been deceived by you.
Now we're bound away
To escape another sorry mismanaged Mega Bank story.
(Oh Shenandoah)
WilliamBanzai7
Oh B of A,
Your Board's retarded,
Float away as your shareholders quiver,
Oh B of A,
Your CEO has screwed you,
Away, your market caps bound away
'Cross the wide Merrill Level III divide.
Oh B of A,
Your market cred's been slaughtered,
Squandered away as your Board twittered,
They'll take her 'cross
The rollin' bailout river,
Away, your bound away
'Crossing Paulsen's rolling TARP highwater line.
'Tis been just one Q,
Since Merrill bent you over,
And on that day
You thought you could win by being bigger,
But your shareholder returns,
Began their downward spiral,
Sucked away, sucked away
In the Bear market's fury.
Oh B of A,
Sorry but we have to leave you.
Away you inept Magilla,
Oh B oa A,
We've all been deceived by you.
Now we're bound away
To escape another sorry mismanaged Mega Bank story.
Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains
(Ode to TARP ACT II)
(to the melody of Big Rock Candy Mountains)
Lyrics By WilliamBanzai7
One evening as the DOW went down and the S&P was burning
Down the track came a banker hiking and he said boys I'm not turning
I'm headin for a land that's not far away from Wall Street's crystal towers
So come with me we'll go and see the Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains there's a land that's fair and bright
Where the handouts grow from the bailout pros and you sleep sound every night
Where the ABS books are all empty and the sun shines every day
On the birds and the bees and the bonus trees
Where the perrier springs where the squawk box sings
In the Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains all the FEDs have wooden legs
And the shorts all have rubber teeth and the taxpayers lay golden eggs
The trading books are full of fruit and the bankers play all day
Oh, I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall and the wind don't blow
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains you never sell your toxic schlock
And the glimmering streams of origination fees come a-trickling down the rocks
The enforcers have to tip their hats and the bears and shorts are banned
There's a lake of foies gras stew and of champagne too
You can sail all around 'em in your custom yachts
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains
In Paulsen's Rock Candy Mountains white collar jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain't no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks
I'm a goin to stay where you sleep all day
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains
(Ode to TARP ACT II)
(to the melody of Big Rock Candy Mountains)
Lyrics By WilliamBanzai7
One evening as the DOW went down and the S&P was burning
Down the track came a banker hiking and he said boys I'm not turning
I'm headin for a land that's not far away from Wall Street's crystal towers
So come with me we'll go and see the Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains there's a land that's fair and bright
Where the handouts grow from the bailout pros and you sleep sound every night
Where the ABS books are all empty and the sun shines every day
On the birds and the bees and the bonus trees
Where the perrier springs where the squawk box sings
In the Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains all the FEDs have wooden legs
And the shorts all have rubber teeth and the taxpayers lay golden eggs
The trading books are full of fruit and the bankers play all day
Oh, I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall and the wind don't blow
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains you never sell your toxic schlock
And the glimmering streams of origination fees come a-trickling down the rocks
The enforcers have to tip their hats and the bears and shorts are banned
There's a lake of foies gras stew and of champagne too
You can sail all around 'em in your custom yachts
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains
In Paulsen's Rock Candy Mountains white collar jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain't no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks
I'm a goin to stay where you sleep all day
In Paulsen's Big Rock Candy Mountains
Al Jolson sings "Yes we have no bananas"
Uploaded by jonff. - Explore more music videos.
YES WE HAVE BAILOUT BANANAS
(Yes We Have No Bananas)
WilliamBanzai7
Sing along link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1Hc80NpL4M&feature=related
There's a financial supermarket on our street
It's called CITI and its run by Pandit the geek.
And he keeps lots of dodgy things for the markets to eat
But you should hear him speak!
''When you ask him anything, he never answers "no".
He just "yes"es you to death, and as he takes Uncle Sam's bailout dough
He tells you
"Yes, we have lots of bananas
We have lots of bailout bananas for sale today.
We've got Smith Barney string beans, and securitized onions
collateralised cabbages, and private label scallions,
And all sorts of rotten over leveraged fruit and say
We have an old ashioned Solomon to-mah-to
And an off balance sheet po-tah-to
But yes, we have lots of bananas.
We have bailout bananas for sale today."
Business got so busy for him that he wrote home today,
"Send me Johnny and Chuckie and Sandy and Bobby; I need help right away."
When he got them in the store, there was fun, you bet.
Someone asked for a "mark down" and then the whole quartet
All answered
"Yes, we have bailout bananas
We have bailout bananas for sale today.
Just try those CDS coconuts
Those Alt-A walnuts and all sorts of asset backed doughnuts
They ain't got FIG nuts like these over at AIG
We'll sell you all kinds of red herring,
Dark brown, and ball-bearing.
And yes, we have bailout bananas
We have bailout bananas for sale today.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
CITIGROUP BITES THE DUST
(Another One Bites the Dust, Queen)
WilliamBanzai7
Rubin, Pandit, Weil and Prince walk warily down the street,
With their brims pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of their slippery conniving feet,
Fed machine guns ready to go
Are you ready, Are you ready for this
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat
Out of the doorway the bust up bullets rip
To the sound of the bailout beat
Chorus
Citigroup bites the dust
Citigroup bites the dust
Another universal bank gone, and another one gone
Citigroup bites the dust
Hey, their gonna get you too
Citigroup bites the dust
How do you think we're going to get along,
Without you, when you're gone
You took us for everything that we had,
And kicked us in the financial groin
Are you happy, are you satisfied
How long can you stand the market heat
Out of the doorway the bust up bullets rip
To the sound of the bailout beat
Chorus
Citigroup bites the dust
Citigroup bites the dust
Citigroup bites the dust
Citigroup bites the dust
There are plenty of ways you can screw a man
And bring his net worth to the ground
You can cheat him
You can fleece him
You can feed him toxic financial garbage and leave him
When its time to mark em down
But we're ready, yes we're ready for you
We're standing on our own two feet
Out of the doorway the bust up bullets rip
Repeating the sound of the bailout beat
(Another One Bites the Dust, Queen)
WilliamBanzai7
Rubin, Pandit, Weil and Prince walk warily down the street,
With their brims pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of their slippery conniving feet,
Fed machine guns ready to go
Are you ready, Are you ready for this
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat
Out of the doorway the bust up bullets rip
To the sound of the bailout beat
Chorus
Citigroup bites the dust
Citigroup bites the dust
Another universal bank gone, and another one gone
Citigroup bites the dust
Hey, their gonna get you too
Citigroup bites the dust
How do you think we're going to get along,
Without you, when you're gone
You took us for everything that we had,
And kicked us in the financial groin
Are you happy, are you satisfied
How long can you stand the market heat
Out of the doorway the bust up bullets rip
To the sound of the bailout beat
Chorus
Citigroup bites the dust
Citigroup bites the dust
Citigroup bites the dust
Citigroup bites the dust
There are plenty of ways you can screw a man
And bring his net worth to the ground
You can cheat him
You can fleece him
You can feed him toxic financial garbage and leave him
When its time to mark em down
But we're ready, yes we're ready for you
We're standing on our own two feet
Out of the doorway the bust up bullets rip
Repeating the sound of the bailout beat
Friday, January 9, 2009
TARP, TARP, TARP
(From William Shakespere's Macbeth)
WilliamBanzai7
TARP, and TARP, and TARP,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded waste;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to financial ruin. Out, out, brief bailout candle!
Paulsen's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
Who struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
sold by a panicked idiot, full of sound and fury,
In the end signifying nothing.
(From William Shakespere's Macbeth)
WilliamBanzai7
TARP, and TARP, and TARP,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded waste;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to financial ruin. Out, out, brief bailout candle!
Paulsen's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
Who struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
sold by a panicked idiot, full of sound and fury,
In the end signifying nothing.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
PARTY LIKE IT'S 1929
PARTY LIKE ITS 1929?
(melody 1999, Prince)
The artist: WilliamBanzai7
I was dreamin' when I wrote this
Forgive me if it goes astray
But when I woke up this mornin'
Coulda sworn it was Wall Street judgment day
The S&P was purple and the DOW was gray,
There were traders runnin' everywhere
Tryin' to run from the destruction,
U know I didn't even care
CHORUS
say say Dow headed down to zero Wall Street party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1929
I was dreamin' when I wrote this
So sue me if I go to fast
But Wall Street is just a party, and parties weren't meant to last
Paper losses all around us, my mind says prepare to fight
So if I gotta die I'm gonna watch Cramer tonight
CHORUS
say say Dow headed down to zero--Wall Street party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1929
intro 2x
Lemme tell ya somethin'
If U didn't come to party,
don't bother knockin' on Paulsons's bailout door
It's burning a hole in his pocket,
and baby he's ready to ask for more
Yeah, everybody's got an unhedged bomb,
we could all die any day
But before I'll let that happen,
I'll dance my irrationally exuberant life away
Oh, they say
say bloated leverage party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1929/2009
say say DOW heade down to zero party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1929/2009
we gonna, oww
1929/2009
Dont ya wanna go 1929
Dont ya wanna go 1929
Dont ya wanna go 1929
(melody 1999, Prince)
The artist: WilliamBanzai7
I was dreamin' when I wrote this
Forgive me if it goes astray
But when I woke up this mornin'
Coulda sworn it was Wall Street judgment day
The S&P was purple and the DOW was gray,
There were traders runnin' everywhere
Tryin' to run from the destruction,
U know I didn't even care
CHORUS
say say Dow headed down to zero Wall Street party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1929
I was dreamin' when I wrote this
So sue me if I go to fast
But Wall Street is just a party, and parties weren't meant to last
Paper losses all around us, my mind says prepare to fight
So if I gotta die I'm gonna watch Cramer tonight
CHORUS
say say Dow headed down to zero--Wall Street party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1929
intro 2x
Lemme tell ya somethin'
If U didn't come to party,
don't bother knockin' on Paulsons's bailout door
It's burning a hole in his pocket,
and baby he's ready to ask for more
Yeah, everybody's got an unhedged bomb,
we could all die any day
But before I'll let that happen,
I'll dance my irrationally exuberant life away
Oh, they say
say bloated leverage party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1929/2009
say say DOW heade down to zero party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1929/2009
we gonna, oww
1929/2009
Dont ya wanna go 1929
Dont ya wanna go 1929
Dont ya wanna go 1929
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