STFU WALL STREET

FT ALPHAVILLE and The Reformed Broker report that an anti-populist Email was making the rounds around Wall Street this week (link):

AN EMAIL FROM WALL STREET, APRIL 30, 2010
(WilliamBanzai7)

"We are Wall Street. It's our job to steal and swindle other people's money. Whether it's a commodity, stock, bond, or some hypothetical piece of imported synthetic CDO toilet tissue, it doesn't matter. We would trade baseball cards for our own mothers if it were profitable, but our trophy silicone implantee spouses won't allow it.

We didn't hear all you stupid dumbass American commoners complaining when the market was roaring to 14,000 and everyone's 401k doubled every 3 years providing ample target opportunities for bloated Wall Street asset management fees.  Just like gambling, its not a problem for us because its "heads we win, tails you lose." I've never heard of anyone going to jail because they scammed Uncle Sam out of Billions of Dollars.

[WB7: But you soon will]

Well now the market crapped out, & even though it has come back somewhat on our algo churning Fed financed prop trading books, the government and the average Joes are still looking for accountability. God knows why there should be for anything we on Wall Street have done. Well, here we are.

Go ahead and continue to take us down, but you're only going to hurt yourselves. What's going to happen when we can't find jobs on the Street anymore? You're going to have to finance our food stamps and unemployment benefits in perpetuity because we don't know how to do anything but play computer assisted video games on trading screens and write "Fab"ulous power point swindles targeting sophisticated schlecht for brain German bankers.

Guess what else: We're going to take your burger flipping and gas pumping jobs. We get up at 5am & work till 10pm or later because we can't stand being with our own spouses. We're used to not getting up to pee because we learned how to drink our own piss at Ivy League frathouse beer bashes. We don't take an hour or more for a lunch break (at least that's what the Wall Street madam is paid to say). We don't demand a union because we own Congress and don't need one. We don't retire at 50 with a pension; we absaquatulate with our miniature robber barron stashes at the age of 40. We eat what we kill and we kill everything we meet and when the only thing left to eat is AIG's putrifying Maiden Lane toxic doughnut portfolio, we'll eat that too.

For years teachers and other unionized labor have had us fooled. We were too busy working to notice. Do you really think that we are incapable of teaching 3rd graders and doing landscaping?

[WB7 (a) please teach your own Third Grade brats, (b) do they teach landscaping 101 at Sing Sing?]

We're going to take your cushy jobs with tenure and 4 months off a year and whine just like you that we are so-o-o-o underpaid for building the youth of America.

[WB7: Sounds like this dude definitely got rear ended by someone in third grade]

Say goodbye to your overtime and double time and a half. I'll be hitting grounders to the high school baseball team for $5k extra a summer, thank you very much.

[WB7: With a corked bat we're sure]

So now that we're going to be making $85k a year without upside, Joe Mainstreet is going to have his revenge, right? Wrong! Guess what: we're going to stop buying the new 80k car, we aren't going to leave the 35 percent tip at our business dinners anymore. No more free rides on our backs. We're going to landscape our own back yards, wash our cars with a garden hose in our driveways. Our money was your money. You spent it. When our money dries up, so does yours.

[WB7: Please send this message to Michael Bloomberg ASAP]

The difference is, you lived off of it, we rejoiced in it. The Obama administration and the Democratic National Committee might get their way and knock us off the top of the pyramid, but it's really going to hurt like hell for them when our fat a**es land directly on the middle class of America and knock them to the bottom.

[WB7: Got news for you piss head, the people in the street are going to rip your pencil necked geek head off and after shitting down your neck, they'll be ordering Banksta Miniature Rocky Mountain Oysters for lunch.

We aren't dinosaurs. We are smarter and more vicious than that, and we are going to survive.  The question is, now that Obama & his administration are making Joe Mainstreet our food supply…will he? and will they?"

[WB7: See you in the next world baby...and don't be late!]