How The Grinch Almost Killed Wall Street
(How the Grinch Stole Christmas revised by
William Banzai7)
http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/

Every Banker down on Wall Street Liked CDOS a lot...
But the Grinch,Who lived just north in Greenwich, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated those investment bankers for a whole list of reasons!
Now, that is why we are having this exciting fall season.
It could be his trader head was screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his white shoes were a little too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his NAV was 12 sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, His smarts or his shoes,
He stood there last week, hating all Wall Street's Whose Whos,
Staring down at his trading P&L with a sour, Grinchy frown,
Detesting those warm lighted screens in Wall Street town.
For he knew every Captain down in Wall Street beneath,
Was busy now, trying to sail through the great Subprime reef.
"And they're firing their traders" he snarled with a sneer,
"In three months its Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to give those investment bankers a drubbing!"
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Whose Who of Bankers,
Would wake bright and early. And rush to save all their bonus earnings!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Whose Whos, young and old, would all fly Far East.
And they'd try to talk Korea and China into feasting on trading book yeast!
And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on champagne and rare banker roast beast.
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all!
Every Who down in Wall Street, the Bulls and the Bears,
Would stand close together, with opening bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING!
SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of this Singing,
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for year after year I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop a Wall Street bailout from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a some quick calls to spread rumours of a giant toxic CDS boat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great short seller trick!"
"With this phone and this screen, I'll batter those Wall Streetwalkers selling asset backed tricks"

"PoohPooh to the Whose Whos!" he was grinchishly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Chinese White Knight is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Whose Whos down in Wall Street will all cry BooHoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear noises over the trading screen glow.
It started low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Bloomberg and Reuters! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every banker down in Wall Street, the Bulls and the Bears,
Was singing! Without any White Knight at all!
He HADN'T seen a Big Federal bailout coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came!
And the Grinch, stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out tickers! It came without a tab!"
"It came as Federal largesse in boxes and bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe a Bailout," he thought, "is not just for financial Whooers"
"Maybe Fed bailout...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Well...on Greenwich Main Street they say,
That the Grinch's taxes grew 12 sizes that day!
And the minute his wallet didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his Lexus through the South Bronx morning light,
And he met those Wall Street boys for a Smith & Wolensky feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grinch carved the beef!