1-800-KIMCHEE

BANZAI7 NEWS--A widespread North Korean computer attack that began July 4 knocked out the Web sites of the Treasury Department, the Secret Service, The Transportation Department, the International Association of Financial Engineers, ISDA, Goldman Sachs, Elizabeth Taylor.com, the Department of Sanitation and other U.S. government agencies, according to officials inside and outside the government. Sites in South Korea were also affected, and South Korean intelligence officials believe the attack was carried out by North Korean or pro-Ping Pong forces angry that Dear Liberace's Fourth of July missile show was dwarfed by Macy's Annual Firework's Show on the Hudson River. Dear Liberace was seen feverishly hacking on his Samsung Netbook most of the weekend.

In the attack, an army of thousands of “Kimchee switched zombie computers” infected by the hackers’ program were ordered to request access to these Web sites simultaneously, causing an overload that caused the sites’ servers to redial 1-800-KIMCHEE, South Korean officials said.

Two US government officials acknowledged that the Treasury and Secret Service sites were brought down, and said the agencies were working with the customer service hotline of their back up internet service provider, NetZero to resolve the problem. One official speaking on condition of anonymity, cited a technical glitch in the payment of Netzero's $9.99 monthly fee which could not be easily remedied over a bank holiday weekend. Another source cited the lack of the necessary cabling for an emergency switch over to dial up service.

Simultaneous rumors have surfaced that North Korean leader Dear Liberace, has been buying up all available Korean translations of the works of Fischer Black, Alan Greenspan and Satyajit Das, the author of "Traders, Guns and Money."