BANZAI7: SPECIAL JOBLESS DISCOVERY REPORT

BANZAI7 SPECIAL REPORT--In today's news: there have been reports of expansion in the non-manufacturing services sector; this provided a convenient reason for the markets to move up yet another day; meanwhile, fools like Nouriel Roubini, George Soros and Professor Steiglitz continue to warn that the economic fundamentals do not support the market surge of the past 6 months (in other words, they smell another gas leak in the economic basement).

The least surprising news is the report that yet another inspector general has found that Treasury Officials actually lied about the financial condition of bailed out banks at the height of the melt down. Not surprising, since they all came from Goldman Sachs.

Is it possible that Treasury officials are telling more so called "white lies" when they refer to the jobless recovery that has re-inflated the markets (bubbles) without creating new jobs?

Perhaps, or perhaps not. Scientists, mathematicians and economists at the Banzai7 Institute Advanced Economic Gibberish Section were asked to report on possible explanations, starting with the reported expansion in the services sector. Here are their preliminary findings or Jobless Discoveries:

-There has been solid growth in the inspector general, investigative commission and special prosecutorial segments.

-Counseling and psychological services are both sky rocketing.

-Unemployment benefit processing is up;

-Day trading (by unemployed bankers) is up;

-Blogging is way up;

-Neocon book writing and talk shows are up;

-Thanks to the swine flu epidemic, claims processing at health insurance companies is up;

-Burger flipping and chicken frying is definitely up;

-Lobbying is way way up;

-Construction (primarily due to the demolition of abandoned subprime housing developments) is up;

-Lottery services are up.

-Tourist services for Chinese tourists are up;

-Foreclosure auction services are up.

-Bankruptcy processing services are up.

-Financial regulatory services are up.

-The United States Treasury and Federal Reserve Bank have both expanded.

So you see there are rational explanations for the Jobless Discovery.