Friday, October 16, 2009


BANZAI7 NEWS--A 29 year old Goldman Sachs executive has been named the first chief operating officer of the Securities and Exchange Commission's enforcement division.

The market watchdog agency said Friday that Adam Storch (pronounced like d-o-r-k), vice president in Goldman Sachs' Business Intelligence Group, is assuming the new position of managing executive of the SEC division. His job at Goldman was checking to see if contracts might be fraudulent. This means he was the guy making sure Joe Cassano actually initialed the last page of all those credit default swaps with AIG.

The announcement came as the president's chief economic adviser, Lawrence ("Douche Bag") Summers, visited New York and said Wall Street has a "duty" to accept regulatory reform and Washington has a duty to hire ex-Goldman Sachs executives."

Obviously, this is the only person the world who qualifies for this job. Are these people as tone deaf as Robert Beanmush? This guy was playing GI Joe with his sisters Barbie dolls when Bernie Madoff was busy learning how to fabricate client statements on his Atari 600. No doubt, Dork's start date will shortly follow Goldman Sachs' 2009 bonus pay day.

Does anyone know if Storch's position at Goldman has been filled?

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