SQUID WITH THE SCREAMING BRAIN!

BANZAI7 NEWS--The harmful business practices revealed by the SEC lawsuit and recent Congressional hearings may make the heads of Goldman Sachs seem infected with a particularly virulent strain of squid greed. But it might be only the scale of their payouts that distinguishes their alleged wrongdoing from how the rest of Wall Street behave. They were simply over-expressing a universal drive shared by all squidkind, albeit in an environment that encouraged a "preverted" example of such behavior, experts say.

Greed occurs when the natural squidly impulse to collect and consume useful resources like tasty shell fish, lucite cubes, Italian sports cars, corporate jets, Hampton Dick Mansions, trophy silicone implantees and other material wealth or fame overwhelms the constraints that maintain the social ties in a group, said Andrew Lo, an MIT professor who researches the relationship between neuroscience and economics.

These chemicals in turn act like drugs, causing what could best be defined as an addiction to shitty deals generating more and more fees and commissions. The natural consequence of this is for these individuals to continue to accumulate the same things that give them pleasure, often at the expense of their most trusted clients. Greed addicts typically will show little remorse for throwing their closest business associates over the transom to save their own squid treasure hoard.

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