(Pollution, Tom Lehrer)
Time was when an American about to invest abroad would be warned by his friends to be wary of emerging market fraud. But times have changed and now a foreigner coming to this country might be offered the following advice.
If you visit New York city,
You will find it very pretty.
Just two things of which you must beware:
Don't go near Goldman Sachs and don't buy AIG shares.
They got asset backed sewage and sludge.
Turn on your trading screen and see long and short running crud.
See the halibuts and the sturgeons
Being wiped out by fraudulent urgins.
Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly,
But they won't last long with those toxic schlock guys.
You can use the latest quantitative toothpaste,
And then rinse your retirement accounts with industrial subprime waste.
Just go out for a breath of transparent air,
And you'll be ready for financial Medicare.
Wall Street investing is really quite a thrill.
If the street hoods don't get you, Goldman's asset backed bankers will.
Wear a gas mask and a veil.
Then you can invest, in another toxic asset sale.
Lots of things there that really stink,
But stay away from Goldman's CDO kitchen sink.
Throw out the synthetic garbage and I've got a hunch,
That the folks from IKB and ABN will eat it for lunch.
So go to the city, see the crazy people there.
Like lambs to the slaughter,
They're drinking quant ponzi water