DOIN GOD'S WORK

BANZAI7 NEWS, April 1, 2010--Goldman Sachs announced that CEO Lloyd Blankfart will take a one year leave of absence to devote 100% of his time to helping financially and emotionally distressed "Main Street" Americans get firmly back on their feet. Blankfart said: "I want to show Americans the compassionate and spiritual side of being a Vampire Squid wrapped around the face of humanity."

Time Man of the Year: Lloyd Blankfein