MILKSHAKE MANIAC

BANZAI7 NEWS-- An American expatriate sentenced to life in prison for murdering her investment-banker husband, has successfully won a last bid in Hong Kong's courts to overturn her conviction and is now heading for retrial.

The native of Michigan, admitted to killing her husband, Robert Kissel, a senior banker with Merrill Lynch, in 2003. Prosecutors say she served him a drug-laced strawberry milkshake before bludgeoning him to death with a statuette and rolling him up in a carpet.

The milkshake maniac said she couldn't remember what happened, but may have killed her husband to protect herself after he came at her with a baseball bat during a dispute over Hong Kong baseball trivia.

"Ladies and Gentleman of the court, upon being fiercely and maliciously attacked with a baseball bat (commonly used in Hong Kong for rodent and burglar control) my client prepared the drug laced milk shake and offered it to her husband as a peaceful gesture. He calmly drank the shake and immediately resumed his baseball bat attack. This caused her, we believe, to hammer him to death with the statuette in question, roll his body in a carpet and order her maid to purchase peppermint spray to clear the stench. None of this can be confirmed since my client is unable to remember anything following her clandestine affair with an electrician in Vermont.

Asked to comment on the case, OJ Simpson said: She's obviously being framed.