MISSION OBANKSTERED

BANZAI7 NEWS--President Obankster hailed the success of his much-debated $787 billion stimulus legislation yesterday, saying the one-year-old program has created or saved 2 million jobs and helped prevent a second Great Depression.

After duly congratulating himself, Obankster said: "Now we can fully focus on enjoying our own lost decade of Wall Street pillaging and job stagnation."