AIG AND HADRON COLLIDER

BANZAI7--The Large Hadron Collider created by CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, officially became the world's highest-energy particle accelerator on Monday.

AIG, the systemic hydrogen bomb created by Hank Greenberg also set a new record with a reserve shortfall of $11 billion.

A senior securities analyst at Sanford Bernstein and Co., who is also a nuclear physicist, explained that he had set out to find something entirely different — whether any American insurers had the strength to raise their prices soon. The enormous Hadron Collider was programed to send two beams of protons shooting through AIG's balance sheets at 1.18 teraelectronvolts (TeV).

His first rough cut of the data “made no sense,” he wrote, and when he looked more closely he found that the shortfall at A.I.G. was distorting the financial universe as a whole.