Board of Directors
American International Group
Dear Sir or Madam:
It is with reluctance that I’m submitting this letter.
Although my three months with (AIG) has been, on the whole, satisfying and productive for me, for quite a while now I have become less and less satisfied with the work situation.
As you know, the question of the amount of my vacation or should I say Croation, time has never been fully resolved to my satisfaction. As you know, I work much more efficiently in my Croatian Villa which is equipped with enough toilets to service me every time the sh!t hits the AIG fan.
I was also deeply disappointed that the Board would not agree to allow me to use the company jet to fly to Croatia every weekend.
Moreover, my $10,000,000 compensation package is hardly adequate for the stress associated with this job.
Last week, I learned from Mr. Feinberg that AIG is actually 80% owned by the US government. If I had known this previously I would never have signed up for the job.
As you know, like Lloyd Blankfart I am also committed to doing God's work. The Lord works in mysterious ways and I believe I can serve him more lucratively at another firm.
Therefore, it is with regret that I ask you to accept this as my resignation from (AIG) effective immediately.
In the Name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost,