RETURN OF BANKER SCOURGE

BANZAI7 NEWS--New and exotic securities and more frequent use of government funded bailouts seem to be contributing to a new wave of toilet seat dermatitis afflicting bankers, a condition which was once considered as completely wiped out from Wall Street.

A new research has revealed that there has been, very recently, a surge of new cases of toilet seat dermatitis in senior Wall Street executives, some of whom will continue to suffer with the condition for years before getting a proper diagnosis and treatment.

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Toilet seat dermatitis is one of those legendary conditions described in financial textbooks and seen in undeveloped countries with economies in the shitter, but with all the anxiety caused by angry populists screaming its time for payback, Wall Street executives will be spending lots more time on their gold handled commodes.