GOAT GOES APESHIT

BANZAI7 NEWS--A 150-pound goat showed up at the new Lynx Gentlemen's Club in Coachella, Calif. It smashed two glass doors with its hind legs and head-butted another door before walking inside. The goat then checked itself out in the lobby mirror (but didn't break it) and was eventually chased out by a passerby an hour later, leaving behind a trail of blood and $2,000 in damage, according to reports.

Club owner Hank Peculiar, who doesn't know where the goat came from, thinks it was reacting to reports that Iranian Assumed President I'm A Nut Job wants to import pole dancing Southern Californian goats into his revolutionary harem.

The Goat was last seen headed North on Highway 10.