ROOM 39 GETS NEW HONCHO

BANZAI7 NEWS--North Korea has recently replaced the director of a department of the North Korean Workers Party's Central Committee codenamed "Room 39," which manages leader Kim Jong-Liberaces's coffers, personal slush funds and FWMD hedging portfolio, it emerged Thursday.

A North Korean source said Kim Tong-un (75) has been dismissed and Joseph Cassano, the former head of AIG Financial Products (aka Room $180 Billion), has been appointed in his place. Cassano is eager to develop the nascent OTC market for Kim Chee Swaps.