GIANT SQUID INVASION

BANZAI7 OCEANOGRAPHIC NEWS--An invasion of giant Wall Street squids (Bailout Cephalopoda) has worried southern California fisherman swimming in rotten calamari.

The squids, which grow up to 6 feet long and weigh as much as 280 pounds, have been attracted into shallower waters, by the scent of record bonus payouts, say scientists.

During all night trading sprees, reeling in the thrashing Goldman squids can quickly resemble a scene from Hank' Paulsen's newly released book “I Need a Drink.”

“They’re extremely carnivorous – they eat everything, including themselves,” Corey Hall of Dana Wharf Sportfishing told California’s KABC. “So at times, you’ll be catching one and the other one will start eating the other one.”