Thursday, December 3, 2009

COCKROACH COMPETITION


BANZAI7 NEWS--You've probably heard somebody say that come the End of the World, the only survivors would be the cockroaches. Cockroaches have been around for about 300 million years - so they've outlasted the dinosaurs by about 150 million years. They are very tough little critters. They can survive on cellulose and, in a pinch, each other, and they can even soldier on without a head for a week or two - and they're fiendishly fast as well. They have the reputation for being survivors - living through anything from steaming hot water to nuclear holocaust.

But according to financial biologists at the BANZAI7 INSTITUTE, our grudging admiration has overcome the facts - cockroaches are well and truly outranked in the nuclear holocaust stakes by Wall Street bankers who seem to multiply exponentially at power law driven rates exceeded only by the size of their Federally financed bonus pools. Moreover, while cockroach infestations can be controlled with certain insecticides, there are no known methods for controlling the proliferation of swindling money handlers. Certain banks have also been known to survive without a head for more than a week or two.

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