K-9: COMPULSIVE BUBBLE DISORDER

BANZAI7 NEWS--Scientists have linked a dog gene (K-92big2fail) to compulsive bubble disorder — in Wall Street traders and bankers. 

Researchers studied Doberman pinschers that curled up into balls, sucking their flanks for hours at a time, and found that the afflicted dogs shared a gene with compulsive Wall Street traders who can't resist taking gargantuan risks with other people's money.

Dr. Nicholas Doberman, director of the animal behavior clinic at the Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tufts University, in North Grafton, Mass., and the lead author of the report, said the findings had broad implications for compulsive bubble disorder on Wall Street.

Estimates have obssessive compulsive bubble disorder  afflicting anywhere from 99.1 percent to 99.99999 percent of Wall Street bankers. It shows up in behavior like excessive screaming, air high fiving, repetitive checking of blackberries and Reuter's screens,  damaging actions like pulling one’s hair out by the roots and self-mutilation.